Reincarnation at its Finest
by SheMarauder
Summary: This isn't the first time she's been reborn into the body of an infant, but it's definitely the most interesting. (T for any swearing) (Sirius/OC) (I don't own Harry Potter and I never will).
1. Chapter 1

My vision was encompassed by a blinding amount of light. The light was accompanied by a gust of cool air that settled around my body like an impenetrable blanket. All the confusion, accompanied by the sudden and uncomfortable environment, ripped a loud cry from my throat.

Muffled voices could be heard from all around me, but I couldn't quite make out what they were saying. When I squinted my eyes open all I could see were blurry figures in muted whites and blues.

Something warm, and what looked to be pink, was wrapped around my cold body. The warmth was greatly appreciated, and my ear-piercing cries lessened in their intensity, though they did not fully fade away. I snuggled into the pink material and felt myself get placed into something uneven, yet extremely comforting.

A soothingly familiar voice was whispering sweet nothings from somewhere above me. Needing to gain some bearings on my surroundings I forced myself to stop crying–because that's what I was doing, crying–and opened my eyes as far as they could go.

My eyes took in the white walls and white tiled ceiling. The blurry blobs were still there in the room, and there was an infinite amount of beeping going on, but my eyes zeroed in on the face hovering directly over mine.

Her face was drenched in sweat, and she was panting from exertion. None of this seemed to bother her since there was a beaming smile lighting up her entire face. Her plump red lips revealed her straight, white teeth, and her delicate cheekbones sat beneath a pair of clear blue eyes that were framed by her luscious, even when sweaty, light brown locks.

I slowly blinked my eyes to make sure the vision in front of me wasn't fake. This woman was absolutely beautiful. Who was she, and why was she holding me?

The woman's mouth started moving, but my hearing was having a tough time picking up what she was saying. It was all just a jumbled bunch of nonsense to my ears.

The woman suddenly leaned back, and I saw a man step next to the two of us. He was very tall, like a giant compared to me. He had dark black hair that dusted the tips of his ears, and he was looking down at me with warm brown eyes filled with so much love it nearly knocked the breath out of me.

It was in that moment my mind decided, oh my god, this scene was familiar. Once before I found myself laying in the arms of an unfamiliar woman, with a man hovering above us. White walls usually found inside of hospital rooms, along with the beeping monitors. Seeing the sweaty face of a woman looking down at you with nothing but love–a look mirrored by the man standing above.

I was in the body of a baby.

Had I been anyone else reborn into a baby body I would have started panicking immediately. But like I remember this has happened to me before. My first rebirth was when I had panicked. That ended with me getting stuck by different needles, and doctors hovering over me to try and find out what was wrong.

Not a fun experience.

This time though I had a feeling of surprise, accompanied by the sense of loss and disappointment. I've already this twice before, and died both times. Haven't I been through enough.

When I looked up my dejected eyes met a pair of warm brown ones.

My sorrows fled in my surprise, and I glanced around to (partially) see that some time during my thoughts I had been moved from the woman's (my mothers, I'll have to get used to that) arms and into the mans (fathers).

I took a few moments to take some calming breaths. Nothing good could come from panicking right now. It happened before, and in no way do I want it to happen again, so instead I gave a toothless smile and reached towards the mans face. His expression melted into one of pure happiness.

The longer my eyes stayed open the heavier they seemed to feel. Birth was a rather tiring process, for both mother and child. Snuggling down into my new fathers arms I let the darkness sweep me away into dreamland. I could deal with the bombshell of being reborn when I woke up.

* * *

My plans for dealing with life's problems was put on hold for about a week. During that time the doctors made me stay in the hospital to keep a constant eye on me. It was really rather unnecessary since I was completely healthy.

Thankfully for the first two days I had the brunette beauty (mother, as I've mentally dubbed her) to keep me company. She was forced to stay in the hospital to recover from the birthing process. Though she had to leave soon enough.

Not that her and her husband (my father) haven't come to see me every day for as long as possible.

When they were allowed to take me away from the dull white walls of that terrible building my baby body let out a scream of happiness. It was apparently the cutest thing because both my new parents, and any passers by, cooed at me. The cooing immediately sent me into a pout, which made them coo some more.

Small things like that were something I would, once again, have to get used to. It was glaringly obvious that I was a baby, and I wasn't sure how to take it.

If I was a baby, then that meant I had been reborn, reincarnated, however you want to put it. The things was, I had already been reincarnated in my _last life._

Yes, I had a last life. And a life before that one too. So this now bring the grand total up to three lives.

The thought really baffled me. It brought up the question of what had I done to deserve this?

My first life had been completely normal. I was born in America on April 14 in 1998. My parents were Grace and Howard Manchester, who had me, Katie Manchester. I didn't have the most exciting life really. I had three protective older brothers, had a small group of close-knit friends, and made it to college where I studied for a masters degree in teaching. One day at work I met a nice guy named John. We went out a couple times, and the rest was history.

Years later, when I was lying in a hospital bed surrounded by my children and grandchildren, I closed my eyes for, what I thought, would be the final time. I was completely content with how my life played out, and I was ready to move on.

Apparently somebody decided that, no, it wasn't my time to move on because from behind my eyelids the same bright light surrounded me, followed by that horrible cold. It was all so confusing at first, but in my disoriented state I thought someone might have hit me over the head and, for whatever reason, decided to kidnap a 79 year old woman. Those were the thoughts that sent me into hysterics.

I was eventually subdued by the doctors, and the next time I woke up my thoughts were a little more clear. This allowed me to realize I hadn't been kidnapped at all. Instead I found my body was no longer that of a seventy year old woman, but a newborn baby boy.

A _baby_ **boy**.

After another round of hysterical panic and crying the doctors decided it would be best to keep me in the hospital for longer than they usually would. I was a completely healthy baby, and they found no reason for me to be having such episodes.

I took that time in the hospital to come to terms with the fact that I was no longer Katie Manchester. Loving wife, mother, and grandmother. I was reincarnated into the body of a newborn baby boy by the name of Édouard Beaulieu.

That's right ladies and gentlemen, I was born in France. Imagine my surprise when I finally figured it out! As if learning you've been reborn into the body of a baby opposite from your original gender was bad enough, now I had to learn how to speak French!

Learning to speak French got real irritating real quick. As Katie Manchester I spoke English who studied Spanish. French was never a part of my life, and after finally jumping over the language hurdle I had an interesting time learning about the male body. At first I was too embarrassed to look at myself, but then my parents started noticing my odd behavior, so I had to suck it up and face the music.

In the end the whole being-reborn-as-a-boy wasn't _so_ bad. It was definitely an interesting experience, and I decided to take advantage of my new life. I did things I never bothered to do in my last life, like learn the guitar and play sports. Baseball was the main sport I played, though it was fun playing for the school football team.

At fifteen I finally noticed the appreciative stares I gained from the female population. This sent me into quite the crisis. Obviously in my first life I was interested in guys, but now I _was_ a guy. Did that mean I was supposed to like girls now? I threw that thought out the window as soon as I thought it. I could always go gay.

But that was the thing. I started seeing girls in another light. A light I couldn't quite see a fellow male in.

It became rather obvious that my body chose to swing for the girls team, but my mind was too stuck in the fact that I was a girl once. I didn't want to imagine the awkwardness I would feel should I try to get in a relationship with a girl.

Thoughts like that had a big influence on my life. I, somehow, became known as the most untouchable guy in high school. Apparently when you turn down the popular girl you get noticed. Quickly.

It took a party and too many beers before my virgin life became history. My first time was with some girl a year below me, and that gave her bragging rights. Her voice eventually grated on my nerves so I found someone else to sleep with. Then another, and another, until I slept with everybody in my grade and the grade below. Guy or girl it didn't matter.

My status from untouchable changed to manwhore and sex god. It changed monthly, and to be honest I didn't mind sex god that much. It was a nice boost to the ego.

The titles continued somewhat to my college years. But during that time my focus was more centered in my studies. Instead of a teacher I decided to try shooting for a musical career. I was pretty wicked with the guitar, and could play fairly well on the piano. I still went wild at any parties thrown on campus though.

I eventually became a guitar technician for some small time band. It paid well, and I became good friends with the band members themselves.

On my 80th birthday–also on April 14th–I found out I had prostate cancer. So it was some months after my 84th birthday when I died, once again, in a hospital bed. Only this time I had no family members surrounding me.

After that I'd finally believed I would pass on to the next realm. Maybe Heaven, shit I would have taken Hell, but as it turns out I was to be reborn for a second time. My third time at life.

At least this time I was a girl.

* * *

 **AN: Please review, and tell me if any part of this was confusing.** **That way I can read it over and try to make it more understandable. But for now I'll just say that my character has been born three times. The first as Katie Manchester. Then she was born a he, named Édouard Beaulieu. And now she's been born a third time as a girl.**

 **Im off to write the second chapter! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

0-1 years old

There isn't much I was able to do in the first few months of my life. I had to resign myself to the life of a baby, and that included the humiliation of my mother changing my soiled diapers. Sure I was technically over a hundred years old, if you wanted to put together my two lifetimes, but having your mother, or father, changing your baby diapers was in no way a fun experience.

Thankfully I was born a girl in this life. It was great being a guy and all, but I felt more at home in a girls body. That meant I had to deal with the horrid pink walls in my nursery, and my fathers constant spoiling. Though that last part wasn't so bad. It was always funny watching mother berate him for showering me with gifts.

Because I was so old, mentally, it was frustrating not being able to use my motor skills. Of course just because I had the memories of an older person didn't mean I had the emotions of one. I had to deal with the temper tantrums, and horrible urges to cry in my last life as well. Things I was not looking forward to.

I didn't let those frustrations stop me, however. I was adamant that I would be walking before my first birthday, on April 14th.

First I had to get myself onto my stomach, then I had to build some sort of muscles in my arms and legs, then I could get to crawling. My parents were so proud of me. Constantly singing praises, and giving me rewards. Fathers usually being much larger than mothers. She often jokingly accused him of trying to be the favorite parent.

It was through their praises that I learned what my first name was. They had wanted my gender to be a surprise, so they chose a name that would fit both a boy, and a girl. When I scared them to death by climbing onto the dining room table I learned my full name.

Alex Susan Palmer. Born on April 14th, 1960.

* * *

3-4 years old

As I grew up I decided not to hold back on my schooling. I did it when I was Édouard, but that was mostly because I needed to learn how to read and write in French first.

Now I was born with English speaking parents, and even though it took a while for me to remember I picked the language back up pretty quickly. My parents practically oozed pride. I was flying through preschool like it was nothing. The teacher even asked them to consider bumping me up into Kindergarten.

Of course this happy picture couldn't last for long.

I was coming home from school in an angry huff. My parents had taken my old teachers advice, and had me bumped up to Kindergarten. I loved it, and was shooting for third grade next, but apparently to other kids me being smart was "unnatural" and "nerdy". A couple boys started making fun of me while I was trying to do my class work.

Normally I could ignore it. They were just a couple of 4-5 year olds, their comments shouldn't have affected me. The only problem with that was my four years old body also had a four years olds emotions.

I fled from the classroom after gathering all of my stuff into my My Little Pony backpack (curtesy of mother). There were tears streaming from my eyes as I burst out of the schools front doors. I knew my way home, and my feet subconsciously led me in that direction.

The car ride to school was about a half an hour, so walking there took a lot longer. So much so that it started getting dark by the time I made it near my neighborhood.

Obviously my vanishing act sent my parents into an absolute panic. No doubt they blamed the school for my running around, and now apparently nobody could find me.

When I made it to my house the car was missing from our driveway, but the lights in the house were on. I hesitated briefly before pushing open the front door. Nobody was sitting in the living room, so I quietly maneuvered through the house until I found my mother hunched over the kitchen counter. Her hand was sitting near the house phone.

"Mother?"

My high-pitched voice was filled with caution, but it was enough to send my mother whipping around to find her missing daughter apprehensively standing in the doorway.

She let out a broken sob of relief, and immediately rushed at me. My body tensed in preparation for the impact. It wasn't as bad as I expected, but her arms wrapped around me in a crushing hug. Her face was buried in my smoky black hair. The ends of which curled into soft ringlets that rested on my shoulders.

Mother pulled away from me, but her hands didn't leave my body. She ran her hands over every available surface while simultaneously scolding me and thanking God I was okay.

Once she was convinced nothing was wrong with me she picked up the phone to make a couple of calls. The first one must have been to the police, and the second one was to someone who must have known where my father was.

When she was done she dropped her head into her hands with a troubled sigh.

I bit my lip nervously, "Mother?"

She crouched down in front of me and took hold of my shoulders, making sure to look me straight in the eye, "What we're you thinking? Your father and I have been worried sick!"

My eyes watered against my will. Damn this child body! "I'm sorry mother. I just got so angry!" The anger at the mean little boy returned with a vengeance, "He was calling me names! Why would he do that?!" Angry tears leaked from my blue eyes. The names really weren't that bad, but they apparently really bothered me. They called me nerd, and stupid (which in itself was stupid), and they made fun of my hair. Apparently because my hair was a dark smokey grey instead of full black it became a target for bullying.

I squeezed my eyes shut as if that would block out my anger, but it didn't do much good. Instead I could now visually recall the moment where the ugly little boy walked up to the table I was sitting at, and pushed me out of my chair. My four year old body was shaking with anger, and when I heard my mother's gasp I opened my eyes to glare at her.

My glare vanished when I saw her astonished eyes staring at my head. My brows furrowed in confusion, "Mother?"

She started furiously whispering under her breath, but I could only make out a few words, "Should have known…whole family…foolish…"

"Mother are you okay?"

Mother exhaled a shaky breath, "I'm alright sweetheart, but I need you to stay calm for me okay?"

When your mother tells you to stay calm it usually does the opposite, "What's wrong?"

"I can explain everything to you later, but for right now I Ed you to change your hair back to normal."

I looked at her in confusion, and to try and understand what she meant I looked down at my smokey curls. What I found instead were bright red curls all the way down to my waist.

My confusion turned into panic, and I looked into my mothers blue eyes, a blue lighter than my own, "Mama what's wrong with my hair?" I must have been really scared. I haven't used the word mama since I was two.

She noticed the change in title, and I could see her tear up a bit, "Just focus on your hair darling. You've got to _will_ it back to its original color and length. I know you're smart Alex. You can do this. Close your eyes if it helps."

I squeezed my eyes shut, as if that alone would make it all go away. Of course it didn't, but it helped me. I could see myself as if looking in a mirror. My hair was straight near the scalp, and as it traveled to the ends it curled loosely. The ends stopped at my shoulders, and it wasn't a fire truck red, it was smokey black.

I didn't want my hair to be red. I liked its unusual color!

An odd tingling sensation covered my entire scalp, but not once did I stop wishing for my hair back to normal. I just wanted it to go back to normal, then mother could explain what was going on. Things like that don't just _happen_.

"You can open your eyes now Alex." The relief in my mother's voice was palpable.

I did as she said, and opened my eyes to see her looking at me with such relief it was a little worrying. Just to make sure I pinched a piece of my hair between my fingers to check and see if it was back to normal.

It was.

My relief mingled with my mothers, but anything we would have said next was out on pause when the front door was violently swung open. Fathers voice rang throughout the house, "Alex!?"

"I'm in here daddy," I decided to use daddy instead of father. Gotta lay on the cuteness factor.

He burst into the kitchen and immediately swept me into his arms. I've never actively seen my father cry, but his eyes were red and puffy from past tears. I immediately felt bad for putting my parents through such worry, "Sorry daddy. Sorry mommy."

The three of us stood in the middle of the kitchen doing nothing but hugging one another. I was the one squished in the middle, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

When we finally broke the hug mother escorted me upstairs into my room. The walls were changed from that horrid pink to a softer blue. It was a lot less of an eye sore.

Mother was tucking me into bed when I broached the subject she seemed to be avoiding, "Mother what happened to my hair?"

She just sighed, and for a few moments she just sat there fidgeting with my comforter. Eventually she cleared her throat, "You're a very smart girl, Alex. A very, very smart girl. And I want you to keep an open mind about what I'm going to tell you."

I frantically nodded my head and snuggled under my covers.

Mother smiled at me with love,mane a hint of worry, "What you did to your hair was _magic_." She whispered the word 'magic' as if it were a terrible secret. Which I guess it technically is.

" _Magic_?" I whispered back in amazed disbelief.

My mother nodded her head solemnly, "That's right sweetheart. Magic is real, and it's inside of you," she reached forward to poke me in the stomach.

For a few moments we had a small tickle session, but eventually she pulled away because she knew I needed an explain action of some sort. I was too smart to just take her word on using magic.

"Your great grandmother was the first to gain magic in our family. She lived out in Britain where she went to a magic school called Hogwarts. She learned all about her magical gift at that school. What it was, how to control it, even some history on it."

My mother's voice completely captivated me, and I was sitting up in my bed to lean closer to her.

"She met another magic user, and the two of them had your grandmother. When she was born they all moved here to the United States. Your grandmother went to school here, and met a nice man. Both of them had magic, so when I was born I was given the same gift."

I gasped, "You have magic?"

She smiled at me, "Yes Alex, I have magic."

I gave her a suspicious look, "Why haven't I seen you use it?"

"Because," she gripped my hands tightly between hers, "your father is a muggle. A none magical person. The Wizarding World has rules against witches and wizards exposing magic to the muggles."

"You don't use magic anymore because you're with father?"

"Yes darling," she kissed my forehead.

"So then does that mean, because you have magic, that I have magic too?" That was a lot to take in.

"I believe so darling. That means," she gave me a stern expression, "you must be extremely careful with your emotions. We can't have any more incidents like that in front of any muggles, okay?"

I bit my lip uncertainty, "Not even father?"

"Not even father," mother confirmed.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that, but after giving it some thought I could understand why it would be a bad idea, "Alright mother, I'll be careful."

"That's my girl," my mother gave me another kiss, and stood up from my bed.

Before she turned off the bed I called for her. "Yes Alex?" Her finger was hovering over the light switch.

"Will you tell me more about magic tomorrow?" I needed to find out everything I could about this new phenomenon.

"Of course darling," she flicked the switch down, and my world was plunged into darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, and several more after that, mother told me everything she could about the magical world. I was still only four years old, so she had to keep it relatively simple. Though had I actually had the mind of a four year old none of this would have made any sense.

She told me that there was another community separate from the mundane world. The non-magical world. That community was filled with different magics, and witches and wizards. The magical residents called it the Wizarding World. Completely hidden from the mundanes.

There were three different groups in the Wizarding World: Purebloods, Halfbloods, and the Mundane-Born. Mother made sure I knew that it didn't matter what group I belonged in because here in America nobody took them seriously. It was like the mundanes labeling someone black, or Mexican. It was just recognition of who you are.

Purebloods are those whose ancestry is made up of other witches and wizards. Halfbloods are the ones who have one magical parent, and one mundane. Mundane-Borns are ones who have both parents as mundanes. The title was pretty self explanatory.

"Mother are you a Pureblood?" I had asked her.

"I was, am, a newer generation of Pureblood. We no where near as rich or influential as other Pureblood families, but we were fairly well off."

My eyes widened, "We have money?"

She chuckled, and turned away from the dinner she was making, "We did, yes, but I don't know what's happened to it. I haven't touched it since I met your father."

All of this new information was soaked up like a sponge. It's the first new material I've heard for nearly eighty years. When you go through two lifetimes of learning the same thing you tend to latch onto any new information you hear. The threat of having to go through high school again had me thinking early thoughts of suicide.

Of course I knew how horrible thinking that way was. Killing yourself is never an answer, and I couldn't imagine the pain it would put my parents through. But just imagine living through one life, then being born into another, and then waking up for a third time. Living becomes a chore in your first life, imagine doing it twice more.

At least this third time seems to hold a real adventure.

I mean, _magic_. Stuff found in fairytales or bedtime stories. I actually had an ability that defied all physics! Magical abilities that let me change my appearance at will, and cast spell with the flick of a wand. According to mother my ability to change my appearance was called metamorphmagus–and wasn't that a mouthful? I decided to go easy on myself and call it morphing. There was also potion making, and a sport called Quidditch where witches and wizards flew around on brooms while trying to catch/dodge different balls.

That one made me laugh. So much for warty witches flying around on their rickety old brooms. Apparently the mundanes got some facts wrong.

Another popular Wizarding community was out in Britain. Somewhere near London. Hearing that got me thinking to the other night when mother told me what caused my hair change. She said her grandmother went to Hogwarts.

That name struck a chord somewhere deep inside of my memories. It took me a few days of hardcore thinking before it all clicked into place.

Wizarding World. Hogwarts. Purebloods, Halfbloods, and Mundane-Borns. Quidditch. Metamorphmagus. All of these things are from that old book series Harry Potter. The ones they made movies out of.

The realization sent me into a state of silence for several days. I had, apparently, been born into the magical world of Harry Potter.

I hadn't known how to feel about it at first. I'd even asked mother if I was like Harry Potter, but she only gave me a strange look. She didn't know who Harry Potter was, though she did know there was a Pureblood family in Britain by the name of Potter.

That meant Harry Potter hadn't been born yet. No doubt those books weren't going to be written, considering I was _inside_ of that magical world. It makes sense that she wouldn't know him though. It was the 1960's, and the setting of the books don't take place till the 90's.

Then I allowed myself to wonder why I was born in a magic filled dimension, thirty years earlier than the main events that take place. It took me a while before I finally figured out that Harry's parents had been the ones to go to Hogwarts in the 70's. If my calculations were right then I was the same age as them.

No doubt there was some sort of reason for me being born now instead of later I the future, but I couldn't find it.

With my school work doing a poor job of holding my attention I asked my mother to go to the magical world and buy me some books. She seemed surprised by my request, but nonetheless went out to buy some magical children's books. I read them to get a feel of the magical world, and know some references, but I went through them so quickly I was done within the week.

Mother noticed this, so every time she came home with more books they would be at a higher and higher reading level.

I did as I promised my mother and kept everything magical related on the down low. All of my book were kept hidden beneath my bed so father wouldn't see them, and I made sure to keep my emotions in check. It was hard to do for as a 4+ year old. When I brought it up with mother she got me another book from the magical world involving several meditation techniques.

I attempted them for as long as my 4+ year old mind could last. It helped more than I thought it would.

As the years went on my collection of books grew, and I was soon losing the space to hide them all in. I needed something to put them all in, and the only person I could think to ask was mother. Father certainly couldn't help me.

I brought it up a little after my sixth birthday, "Mother?"

She turned around from the sink to see me standing in the kitchen doorway. Father was still at work, so I felt comfortable enough to bring down one of the transfiguration books mother gave me. "What is it sweetie?"

"I need somewhere to put all of my books," I lifted the transfiguration book as emphasis for what types of books I was talking about. "I'm running out of space to put them all."

She 'hm'd to herself, and turned back to cleaning the dishes. "There's probably something I could find that you could keep them all in," she mused to herself.

Later that night when she was tucking me in she told me of her plan, "This Saturday we'll go and buy you a trunk."

My brows scrunched up in confusion, "A trunk?" Didn't she mean a suitcase? And how would it fit all of my books? There were _a lot_ of them.

She sent me a secretive smile, "A trunk is what witches and wizards use in place of a suitcase. You can have them charmed to hold several compartments. Some could be bottomless. Maybe even a secret compartment. They will only open when you say the password."

The idea of a trunk greatly intrigued me, but most of my excitement originated from her saying that we would _both_ be going to get the trunk. Mother has yet to take me to the magical world, probably thinking I was too young, but that Saturday she decided to let me have my first taste of the magical community in America.

And it. Was. Extraordinary. Extraordinary, remarkable, breathtaking, _magical_.

Mother had to keep a tight hold on my hand so I wouldn't venture into one of the surrounding shops. And why wouldn't I? There was a toy store, a joke shop, a store filled with odd plants and ingredients for what must have been potion making. There was a shop with a broom displayed in the window. Mother had only gotten me a couple of books on Quidditch, and I knew I wanted to try it out. As Édouard I loved sports, and here I could try out one that involved flying.

We went into a large white marble building called Gringotts. It was filled with odd men that were as tall as I was, and they were covered with various wrinkles, and had long, spindly fingers.

I clung to my mother's legs. The things (goblins) freaked me out enough to hang back and let mother do all of the talking. She seemed to be handling things rather well.

She handed over a large, old fashioned key. The goblin looked it over in his thin fingers before snapping for the presence of another goblin. Said goblin led us deeper into the bowls of the bank, and I was introduced to the most stomach twisting roller coaster you could ever ride in.

After taking a few seconds to let the lingering nausea fade away I looked over to see the goblin stick the clunky key into a large round door. A series of clicks emanated from the locking system, and the doorway cracked open with a gust of air. The goblin grabbed onto the door and slowly walked it open.

I was greeted by the sight of several piles of gold coins covering the ground of the cave-like room. There were piles of silver and bronze colored coins as well, but the gold was most prominent.

Mother grabbed a couple handfuls of the gold coins and shoved all except one into a small pouch connected to her jeans. The one she didn't put away she handed to me, "This is a Galleon, the most expensive of the coins. Next comes the Sickle," she picked up one of the silver coins, "then the Knut," she held up the bronze. "There's 29 knuts in a sickle, and 17 sickles in a galleon."

When she knew I had it all down she set aside the money and led me out of the vault. We rode the roller coaster back out–much to my joy–and left the bank to go and buy myself a trunk.

The shop we went into was fairly cozy. There were trunks lining the walls of the store so people could check out the interior and exterior materials.

"Ah, customers!" A man was standing behind the counter with a pair of reading glasses perched on the edge of his nose, "Can I help you with anything?"

I spoke up before my mother could, "I need a trunk for all of my books."

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows, and shared a smile with my mother. Apparently me being assertive was funny, "Then you'll need a trunk with a large compartment."

"Could it be bottomless? Can there be more then one compartment? Can I have a secret compartment? Can it be blue?"

My barrage of questions were cut off by my mother laying a hand on my shoulder, but the man only smiled at me, "Yes."

He gestured to the room from behind the counter, "Choose the trunk you want and I can give you everything you want."

I smiled excitedly, and bolted from my mother's side. There were so many trunks, but I mostly stuck to the brown, red, and blue ones. All of them were rather dark in color.

Eventually my eyes picked out a maroon colored trunk with a black velvet interior. There was only one compartment, but when we brought it up to the counter the man assured me that he could change it.

"What would you like to have in your trunk?"

I immediately gave him a list of things, "I'd like three compartments. One bottomless, one for clothes, and another for school books. Could I have a fourth compartment that's secret?"

He nodded at me, the warm smile never leaving his face.

"Can the trunk and the secret compartment have a password?" Another nod. "Can I decorate the outside of the trunk?"

"With what?"

I hummed in thought, "I guess my initials work. A.S.P. Could you put it here?" I pointed at the lock. It was on the long side of the trunk. I briefly wondered why there would be a lock when it was password protected.

Since we were the only customers in the shop the man could place all of his focus on spelling my trunk. It took him about half an hour to get it done, but when he was finished I was very pleased with the result.

There were three visible compartments. One on the left where I could place my books, one on the right where I could put clothes, and in the very middle was one with what looked like a small set of double doors. All I had to do was pull on the small doorknobs to reveal a black, bottomless space.

The secret compartment was, apparently, accessible from the outside of the trunk. I'd say the password and when you pulled the handle on the far side of the trunk it would pull out like a drawer.

Mother placed the requested amount of money on the counter, and when we got him I raced up to my room to pull out every single book I owned. Each book was placed into the bottomless compartment, and each time a book disappeared into the darkness I marveled at the sight.

Magic was officially the most amazing thing I have ever come across.


	4. Chapter 4

It should have been obvious that our secret wouldn't be kept for long. No matter how much I meditated I was still prone to having magical accidents. A few examples were mostly school related. Teachers treating me like a child; causing my frustration levels to rise and objects in the classroom to mysteriously explode.

Happiness was another emotion that caused my magic to act wonky. You can't exactly control a happy emotion. If you're happy you're gonna be happy.

One such occasion was when I was seven, and me and my parents were sitting around our decorated tree on Christmas morning. There was a rather large present that I had yet to open. I liked to think the bigger the better, and it's fun saving the best for last.

That present really did turn out to be the best because when I opened it I was greeted by the polished face of an acoustic guitar. My squeal of excitement made my parents laugh with delight, and they watched on as I ripped off the rest of the paper to reveal the neck and head.

I immediately started playing a few random notes. It needed some tuning but otherwise it was perfect. One of the best presents I've ever gotten in all three of my lifetimes.

The amount of happiness I was feeling affected the magic that I was desperately trying to hide from my father. Mother had wanted to tell him at some point, to break it to him gently, but my magical core apparently didn't get the memo.

I didn't notice the change because I was too wrapped up in my new guitar, but my parents did. Mother saw my hair change pink, and it took her a split send to realize that her husband was sitting on the couch right next to her. When she looked over to see his reaction she was greeted by the sight of him gaping at his only daughter with shock, fear, horror, and a small glint of amazement.

"Alex…"

I looked up at my father, "Yes father?"

His breathing stuttered a bit, "What happened to your hair?"

Not quite understanding what was wrong I looked down at my hair to see it had been changed to a bright, hot pink. The color made me crinkle my nose in disgust. If there was a color I hated the most, it was pink. With a single thought I had my hair change back into its smokey black. My morphing was much easier to do after practicing with it for three years.

"A–Alex?"

I bit my lip at the sound of fathers voice. Father had never stuttered before. Of course he's never had a reason to, but he's just witnessed his daughters hair change colors with no reasonable explanation.

"Honey," mother placed a tentative hand on her husbands shoulder, but when he flinched away she brought it back to her side with a pained expression, "I can explain."

He looked at his wife, the love of his life for the past ten years, in disbelief, "You can explain how our daughters hair just changed color?"

Mother nodded, "Yes."

Father looked between the two of us, and the painful confusion in his eyes made me chew on the inside of my cheek. "Alright," he adjusted his position on the couch, "explain."

So she did. Mother told him the same thing she told me three years prior. About her family being made up of witches and wizards who were all a part of a magical community separate from the mundane one. It took her hours to try and make father understand that these people had their own government, and we're living secretly underneath the mundanes noses.

By the end of it all father still hasn't quite grasped the existence of magic. Even after I morphed my body into that of a boy it seemed he didn't want to accept such an outlandish concept.

Apparently my body change had been to much for him because he snapped at me to "change back" before storming up to their bedroom.

Instead of changing back like my father demanded I stayed rooted to the floor in shock. Never before had father snapped at me in such a way. Not even when I ran from the school in an angry huff. It's not that he wasn't stern with me, but he was always able to keep his cool. Stay calm and collected.

"Sweetheart?" I tilted my head to show I was listening. "Are you alright?"

I slowly morphed back into my seven-year-old self, "I'm sorry mother."

She immediately shook her head, "It's not your fault honey!"

"I'm gonna go up to my room now," without a single glance at my other I ran from the living room.

Life after that was noticeably different. There was a rift between mother and father that they were trying to hide from me, and had I been a normal seven year old it may have worked, but I wasn't normal. Never will be.

They would get into horrible arguments that descended into a screaming match. They tried to keep it quiet since those were the times I was upstairs in bed. What they didn't know was that I would be sitting up in bed with a magical book in my lap, completely awake and able to hear them down in the kitchen.

Reading helped block out the world around me. I was never able to fall asleep with them screaming the night away, so I basically read until I fell asleep out of exhaustion. It was easy to keep my reading habits a secret. I'd taught myself how to make a (small) ball of light hover over my shoulder so I could see what I was reading.

It took me about three frustrating months before I could finally form the stupid thing, and then another two to keep it from going out. When I first got the ball of light I felt absolutely euphoric. The magic running through my veins, accompanied by a sense of accomplishment, were terribly overwhelming. Those feelings were immediately drained away along with all of my energy. Apparently doing wandless magic as a seven year old was horribly exhausting. The ball of light was the only conscious attempt at magic I ever made. When I got older I would try some more, but no doubt if I tried now I'd find myself in some kind of coma.

To hide the dark bags under my eyes I just used morphing. I justified the lack of sleep to be useful for something in the future. Maybe some extra study time, or some other nightly activity I haven't partaken in for years now. I had yet to decide if I would shag anybody willing, like I had as Édouard. I definitely wasn't going to stay a virgin because sex wasn't an experience you can give up.

Now I just had to decided how to break my newfound virgin status.

My parents stayed together for another year after dropping the magical bombshell on father, but despite all their attempts to try and keep it together, for my sake, it all fell apart when father finally cracked under the pressure of having a magical wife and child.

Halloween was coming up, and I was watching tv with mother while discussing what I should dress up as for trick-or-treating.

We'd narrowed it down to either a princess or a nurse when father walked in. He must have heard part of our conversation because he muttered to himself, "Maybe you should go as a witch."

I grimaced at the comment while mother stood up in anger, "Gerald!"

Father winced because he realized that we'd heard him, "Well why not? Isn't that what she is?"

He's always tried to keep some sort of connection with me, but it's been getting harder and harder to maintain. He wanted me to know I was still his little princess, though his sudden anger said otherwise.

Mother was growing irritated with her husband, and I could tell this was going to dissolve into another screaming match. I didn't want to be stuck in the middle, even if my name is always dragged up into the conversation.

My escape up to my room was noticed by father, "Alex sit back down!"

I froze at the tone of his voice. I found it hard to breath since it felt like I'd just been hit in the chest. He'd actually raised his voice, at _me!_ His little girl, his princess. Even mother looked shocked at what he did, though he didn't seem to realize it. Only focusing on my still form.

"Did you hear me? I said sit back down."

"But father–"

"No!" Both mother and I took an instinctual step away from him. "You are supposed to be my daughter! The little girl that I held in my arms as a baby. An innocent child who grew up so exceptionally smart! And I find it was all a lie!"

His anger was mixed with some form of grief, and he took it out on a nearby picture frame. The glass shattered against the wall he threw it against, and mother stepped protectively in front of me, "Gerald." Her voiced was tinged with warning and a hint of fear.

"Be quiet! This is all your fault!" He took a threatening step forward, "You did something didn't you!"

Mother whispered to me from the corner of her mouth, "Back up Alex. Back up."

"You're the witch! You poisoned my little princess, and now she's a–a freak of nature! Just like you!"

My heart broke with every word that tumbled out of his mouth. This was not the man I remembered. The kindhearted soul who would look at me with such loving brown eyes. I'd never dreamed that this would happen to our family. It never seemed possible. But here I was, fearing for my life.

"Gerald what is the matter with you?!" We were at the top of the stairs by now with father slowly following.

"None of this would have happened if you hadn't touched her! I never should have left you alone with her! I bet you're the reason she disappeared that day. Back when she was four," his voice broke on the last word. "You took her, and–and–and you cast some spell over her to make her like you! How could you?"

"Alex you need to find the box out from in hall closet, and bring it to me, okay?"

I nodded and ran down the hall to where there was a door sitting in the middle of the wall. From behind me I heard father yell at mother, and when I looked back I saw him slap her across the face.

Seeing that made my heart skip several beats, and I nearly tripped over my feet, but they determinedly brought me forward to the closet. I dug through the junk at the bottom and found a pink shoe box. I pulled it out and didn't even bother closing the door before sprinting back down the hallway.

When my brain finally registered what was happening with my parents my feet stuttered to a stop. The unsteady motion brought me crashing to the ground, and the shoe box flew out of my arms. The contents of the box went flying all over the hallway. It was mostly pieces of paper and a few letters, but there was one thing that stood out from the rest.

It was a dark red stick with a floral designed handle on one end. The stick was fairly dusty, probably from sitting in that box for however long.

My curiosity reared its ugly head, and I reached my arm out to grasp the odd looking handle. Once my fingers wrapped around it I felt an odd rush flow through my body. The feeling almost reminded me of when I would use wandless magic, only at a smaller level.

I looked away from the stick towards my parents. Father was straddling mother's waist, viciously beating her upper body, while mother did her best to fend off the attacks. She wasn't doing a very good job, and I could see blood smearing across her face.

Standing up as quickly as possible I shakily pointed the stick towards my father. If my suspicions were true then this stick was actually a wand. No doubt mother's old one. The wand was clenched between both of my hands as my mind raced to try and find a spell I could use to help.

Naturally my mind decided to chose this moment to go blank, and I couldn't think of a single spell I've read about in all of the books I own.

Fathers fist came crashing down on mother's nose, and I could hear the crack of breaking cartilage. She screamed so loud I was surprised the neighbors hadn't rushed in.

A single word came flying to the forefront of my mind, "Immobulus!"

The word came screaming out of my mouth, but it worked. The spell came shooting out of the wand, and crashed into my fathers chest. His body immediately froze in the position it was in. He had been in mid punch, and mother was cowering on the floor with her arms thrown across her face as a poor excuse for protection.

When the feeling of her husbands fists striking her flesh ceased she delicately peeked through her hands to see his motions had mysteriously stopped. Her eyes were glued to his immobile form, and she was frozen underneath him.

"Mother?" I cautiously walked closer with the wand still outstretched in front of me.

She took a shaky breath and started dragging herself out from beneath gathers legs. When she was out completely father was left kneeling on the floor with one hand on the ground next to where mother's head used to be, and the other hand on the air balled in a fist.

"I'm okay honey," mother rushed up to me and took her wand out of my hands. "We're okay," she pulled me into her arms and picked me up. She kept my face shoved against her neck, probably so I wouldn't have to look at father.

Not liking the position I struggled to get my face out from beneath her hand. "Mother, quit it!" I finally ripped my face away, and shyly looked at fathers still body, "What now?"

Mother took a shaky breath, "We…we need…" her voice trailed off as tears filled her eyes. Her husband, a man she loved to the ends of the earth, has turned his back on her because of what she is. He believed her to be a freak. Going so far as to call his own daughter one. They were supposed to grow old together, and watch Alex flourish into a beautiful young woman, but it was all ripped away in a single moment.

"We have to leave." It wasn't safe to stay near Gerald. If he would beat up his wife there's no telling what he'd do to his daughter.

Hearing mother say we had to leave broke my heart, "Leave?"

She set me back down on the ground, "We cannot stay anywhere near your father. Please understand Alex," mother crouched down to look me in the eye, "I had always feared your fathers reaction to learning we were witches. Those fears came true today. It's not safe to be near him anymore."

Mother looked down at her wand like it was some strange object. Something that she had seen before, but it's been so long that it's become unfamiliar. Hesitantly pointing it at her face she mumbled a few word under her breath, and I watched as her nose snapped back into place. We both winced, though mother's was more out of pain.

After fixing as many wounds as she could mother was left looking at her wand in awe, "I haven't used my magic in so long. I've forgotten what it felt like." She looked at me, and I was relieved to see a happy twinkle, "It makes me wonder how I could have given it up in the first place."

With nowhere else to put it mother had to wind her hair into a bun and stick the wand through the strands to keep it in place. She grasped my hand in hers and led me back into my room, "Grab your trunk and pack everything you'll need for the next few days. We can always buy anything we didn't grab at a later date."

I pulled my trunk out from my closet and threw it onto my bed. Giving the password ("Blanc", after the family dog in my last life) I threw open the top so I could shove all of the clothes I could fit into the side compartments. The right was empty so I filled that with all of my pants. The compartment on the left had the few books I haven't read, and I placed all of my t-shirts in their. My underwear and socks all went into the bottomless compartment, along with a family photo that showed my parents and I rolling around on the leaf filled ground in the middle of fall.

Looking at the photo with tear filled eyes I quickly shoved it on top of my clothes before shutting the trunk. I opened the secret compartment on the side with a whispered "Beulieu" and carefully set my guitar in the enlarged drawer. I marveled at the fact that the side of the trunk opened to reveal a whole new space that could fit an entire guitar.

Shoving the drawer closed I lugged the now heavy trunk off of my bed. It wasn't that heavy before since my books were in the bottomless compartment, making them weightless, but now I had almost my entire closet and my guitar shoved in here. I was only eight, so it was tough to move!

"Are you ready, honey?" Mother walked into the room with her backpack on her shoulders to see me struggling with my trunk.

She smiled at the sight, "I'll take that." Mother grasped the handle near where my initials had been designed and lifted it up with some effort. I felt a little better knowing I wasn't the only one who had trouble lifting it, though mother seemed to be having an easier time of it than I did.

We made it out into the hall and found father in the same position we left him in. Seeing him brought a brutal reminder to what he did to mother not ten minutes ago. Images of him straddling her, and practically beating her to death right in front of me made me freeze up.

Mother noticed my fear, and I saw a determination settle in her eyes, "Don't worry darling. We won't have to be afraid of him any longer."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek in worry, "But what if he comes after us?" The situation was so unexpected for me I just didn't know what to think. In all of my past lives my parents were perfectly happy; though, as Édouard they were close to divorce, but they made it work.

Now I was facing a man, who was supposed to be a loving father and husband, calling his wife and daughter freak of natures before proceeding to try and beat his wife to death. It was completely baffling, and I didn't know what to make of it all. Now I was worried that if we left he would be able to track us down to finish what he started.

"He won't come after us."

Mother sounded so sure that it helped ease my worries, but only slightly, "How do you know?"

In silent response she cautiously walked closer to her husband. Her wand was outstretched and pointed at the center of his forehead. "I'm going to cast a spell, "she explained, though to me or him I wasn't sure, "it will make him forget everything about us." With a deep breath she whispered under her breath, " _Obliviate_."

I saw fathers eyes glaze over before he–with a wave of mothers wand–collapsed to the ground. He was still for a few moments before he started groaning. With a _Flippendo_ from mother he was blasted down the hallway, and tumbled down the stairs.

"Come on darling. It's time to go." My eyes were glued to the spot father had been laying just a moment ago. Mother had to grab onto my arm when she realized I wasn't moving.

We stepped over fathers crumpled form at the bottom of the stairs, and made our way towards the driveway. Mother popped open the trunk of her 1958 Toyota to place our bags inside.

I thought it was the oldest car I've ever seen, but apparently it wasn't. It was only ten years old so I couldn't argue my case, despite knowing what cars looked like decades from now. Information like that was best kept to myself.

I never told anyone in my last life that I had been reincarnated, and I plan to do the same in this one.

I hopped into the backseat while mother got behind the wheel. She started the car and backed down the driveway before speeding out of the neighborhood. I could tell she wanted to get out of here as fast as the speed limit would allow, but I could also tell she just wanted to break down and cry. I almost offered to drive, but then I remembered I was supposed to be an eight year old girl so I shrunk back against the seat of the car and let my emotions go.

My sobs resonated throughout the car, and if mother released a few tears of her own we never acknowledged it.


	5. Chapter 5

After several tear-filled hours of driving we eventually came across a run-down motel. Mother pulled into the parking lot and we stayed in one of the rooms for a night. There was only one bed in the room, so mother and I shared it. We spent the night cuddled against one another with mother asking me how I felt about the whole thing, and if I was okay.

To be completely honest I had no idea how I felt. My father was unable to accept that the two people he loved most in the world had magic. I couldn't understand how that would change anything. It was magic, one of the best things I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Unfortunately father thought differently.

Except for my breakdown in the car I hadn't made a single noise. I was in too much shock to do much else. I'd like to think anybody else in my position would feel the same way. Having their father slowly distance himself from his family because they're magical, and then when he finally snaps he beats his wife in front of his child.

I knew something was going to happen because of the magic my mother and I hold, but I had hoped everything would get better. Deep down I knew it wouldn't, but I had hope. Hopes that were quickly crushed.

Mother tried being strong for me, but I could easily see her red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes when we woke up the next morning. She'd spent half the night crying her eyes out: keeping me awake. Her sadness mingled with mine, and it sent me into tears as well, though I tried hiding them.

When I looked in the mirror the next morning I looked as haggard as my mother. With a few morphs I was able to hide the redness of my eyes. After a year of being kept awake from my parents screaming matches the bags under my eyes weren't as bad, but I still hid them.

Had I not already lived two lives that had their own fair share of falling asleep in early morning hours I'd probably be dead on my feet. It took my eight year old body some time to get used to the insufficient sleeping cycle, but it was adapting.

Now my mother and I were sitting on the bed, watching the black and white TV news broadcast. When we first turned it on I thought it was some kind of movie. The TV we had in our home was colored, but this one was actually in black and white. Just another reminder to how underdeveloped technology was.

I'd briefly entertained the thought of making the iPhone, but I was never good with technology. I swore the stuff hated me sometimes. Besides, I didn't know what it took to make a cell phone of any kind.

Good lord the mobile phone hadn't even been invented yet. Imagine going from a wall phone to an iPhone. Talk about a jump in technology.

And if I'd really been born into some kind of fantasy dimension, then that company those Avengers were a part of would probably be all over me. S.H.I.E.L.D or something like that.

So no, I would have to live with the wall phone, and a TV that doesn't show any colored channels.

"Are you okay mother?" I looked away from the TV to see her reaction to my question. We had yet to talk shout what happened.

Mother sighed, "Oh darling," she kissed the top of my head, "I should be asking you that."

I sighed as well, "I'm alright mother. You were the one who got…beat up." I winced at the memory.

"I'll be fine sweetheart. Let me do the worrying, you're too young."

I frowned, but as an eight year old it probably looked more like a pout. "So", I drew out the word thoughtfully as I tried to phrase my question, "where are we gonna go now?"

Mother stared unseeingly at the TV. After a few moments of silence she cautiously answered me, "We can't go back home. Your father will have no memory of us."

My eyebrows furrowed, "What about your friends?" I didn't have many friends of my own, so I wasn't as worried.

My mother's shoulders seemed to sag, "I–I don't know, sweetheart."

Pursing my lips at the vague answer I tried something else, "Are we moving?"

She readily accepted the topic change, "Yes, we're moving."

"To where?" When mother didn't answer I realized the questions I was asking haven't been thought of yet, so there weren't any answers. "Are we gonna stay in America?"

Mother looked at me with confusion, "Why would you ask that?"

I shrugged, "You said great-grandma went to Hogwarts. That's in Britain isn't it?"

"Are you suggesting we move to Britain?"

I shook my head, "No, but it's an option right?"

"Well," mother seemed to be turning the idea over in her head, and the more she thought the more I could see she liked the idea, "we'll have to catch a flight."

We looked at each other for a moment before smiling. It felt almost refreshing to be leaving America. Moving to an entirely new place that's far away from my father. He's been stressing my mother out for the past year now, and there was a certain amount of relief mixed with her sadness.

Quickly packing up our bags mother checked us out of the hotel room. After getting some directions from the manager we got into our car and drove to the nearest airport.

The drive there was relatively silent. Mother would occasionally ask me how I was feeling about all of this, and I would reassure her that I was okay. Once I was done reassuring her then I would ask her the same question. Even though she would tell me she was fine I could tell it was eating her up inside. And why wouldn't it? Her husband just beat the shit out of her. Had I been a real eight year old I would no doubt be feeling the same as her, only a lot more confused. But in my mind I was 171 years old. Life has thrown many things at me, and this was something completely new that I was learning how to overcome.

We finally made it to the airport after a couple of hours. Mother discreetly waved her wand at the car to make in unnoticeable, and when everybody's eyes seemed to slide right off of the car she banished it. It literally just up and disappeared.

I was left staring stupidly at the spot our car was just sitting while mother dragged me into the airport by the shoulder.

As a precaution we went into the bathroom to change our appearances. We were technically running away, so if anybody called the cops to report us missing they would be looking for a blonde haired woman with a smokey haired eight year old girl.

When we left the bathroom I was a four year old boy with dirty blonde hair, clear grey eyes, and prominent cheek bones. All in all I looked like I did when I was Édouard Beulieu in my last life.

Mother glamoured her hair into blonde locks, and clear grey eyes similar to mine, so there would still be a family resemblance.

My trunk was shrunk down and placed in mother's pocket while her backpack stayed strapped onto her shoulders. She seemed to enjoy being able to pick me up and carry me in her arms. I was starting to get too big for that in my normal form. At first I insisted on walking by myself, but as a four year old my legs couldn't keep up with mother's longer strides.

We looked at a large board that listed all of the flights coming in and out of the airport. The one that was leaving for London in about three hours was the soonest, so mother ushered me into the bag check line. Her backpack was small enough to be counted as a carry-on.

Everything would have gone smoothly had we not been trying to get through with different names. I childishly wanted my own fake name and chose Edward, but since I was only a four year old I didn't have any requirement for i.d. so I got off scott free. Mother, on the other hand, had to give her drivers license and passport. Both of which had the name Meredith Palmer. While that was her name she was trying to get through as Lynne Winslow. Her mother's middle name accompanied by her maiden name.

Meredith Palmer had light brown hair with kind blue eyes, the same woman who's picture was on the passports and drivers license. Lynne Winslow was a beach blonde with grey eyes. Someone security would think stole Meredith Palmers identity.

I don't know what mother did, but she cast a mumbled spell at her papers. As soon as the lady behind the counter touched the identification her eyes glazed over. She dumbly started typing on her computer, and when she was done we both got a a boarding pass.

When I tried asking mother what she did she just gave me a mischievous wink.

The action had me smiling manically. My mother was a law breaker!

The second time mother was asked to hand over her identification the same thing happened. Their eyes glazed over and they mechanically went through the motions that would allow us to get through the airport with little trouble.

Once we got through the bag check we had some time to spare, so we had lunch in one of the restaurants lining the walkways. As usual I was given a children's menu. That irritated me a lot in my last life, but now I've resigned myself to the small size of a child's stomach.

We were getting ready to board the plane when I finally realized something. We were about to fly all the way to Britain. This flight was going to last a good eight hours. Maybe more! What was I supposed to do that while time?

When I asked mother that same question she just told me to read a book. The only problem with that was all of my books were in my trunk, unglamoured. Even if I did have one out people would see their strange titles.

After begging mother to get me a couple of my books out she gave an irritated sigh and pulled me to the side of the walkway. She cast a notice-me-not when the line of people dwindled into nothing, and I shrunk my trunk so I could open it and take out the book I was in the process of reading and the next volume. Both were transfiguration books.

Mother re-shrink my trunk and stowed it back in her pocket. We took our seats near the wing of the plane, me sitting in the window seat. Another man sat in the isle seat while mother sat in the middle.

For the next nine hours I contented myself to reading both transfiguration books while mother took a nap, and the man taking notes out of a law book sitting on the tray in front of him.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry this was so short, but oh well.**


	6. Chapter 6

When we left America it had been around three in the afternoon. The flight was around eight hours so we should have been there around eleven o'clock at night. What I hadn't accounted for was the time difference. What would have been eleven o'clock in Illinois was about five o'clock in the morning in London. A six hour time difference.

Mother seemed pretty surprised by the difference of times as well, but didn't say much about it.

We kept out disguises throughout the entire airport, and when we finally flagged down a can mother tried figuring out where we could go for the night. Mother asked the cab driver where Charring Cross Road was, and we set off.

For the cab ride I read the rest of my transfiguration book. I'd finished the first one during the plane ride, and I'd moved onto the next. It was the sixth volume out of an eight volume series. There were similar volumes but on different subjects. I'd finished the potions series, and the Defense Against the Dark Arts. I was almost done with the transfiguration, then I'd move onto charms.

Once I finished the charms series then I'd move onto whatever I had left to read. Those four subjects were the ones that held the longer series since they were main subjects. I had other books based on other subjects, like Herbology and Astronomy.

Mother was very surprised I was able to read such high level books. Apparently the first volumes were for first years, and then the second volume for second years and so on. This didn't make her any less proud of me.

The cab pulled up to the curb, and mother paid the cabbie before we climbed out. We didn't stand to watch the cab pull away as mother pulled me down the sidewalk. Her eyes were rapidly flicking from shop to shop on both sides of the rode.

From the few people walking around at this hour I noticed that mother and I were more tan then they were. Looking up at the sky I saw how cloudy it was, and remembered the UK wasn't the sunniest place around. Of course we were only a few shades darker, but still.

Mother made a small "aha!" and tugged me towards a run down looking pub called "The Leaky Cauldron". The name struck a chord within me, and I vaguely remembered it being part of the Harry Potter series.

We entered the shady pub, and mother pulled me closer towards her. Apparently the atmosphere made her just as uncomfortable as me.

She cautiously went up to the young man behind the bar, "You wouldn't happen to know where Diagon Alley is, do you?"

The young man looked up from the section of the bar he was wiping down, "Sure I know where it is." He gave a cheerful smile, something out of place in such a run down shop, "Where are you two from? I'm Tom by the way." Tom walked out from behind the bar and held his hand out to my mother.

She accepted it with a small amount of hesitation, "Meredith."

Tom ended the handshake and walked towards the back of the pub, "And who's this little man?" His eyes flicked down to me.

Had I not been born a boy in my last life the comment might have effected me in some way, but I too it in stride, "I'm Alex." Alex was an acceptable boy name.

"A handsome name for a handsome lad!" Tom winked at me.

"Thank you sir," I accepted the complement graciously.

We made it to some back alley that was bare besides a few garbage bags. "What are we doing back here?" Mother asked suspiciously.

"This," Tom tapped a stick–his wand?–against the bricks on the wall in front of him, "is the entrance to Diagon Alley!" With one last tap of finality the bricks rumbled slightly before opening in the most peculiar way. Brick after brick slid off to the sides until there was nothing left but a gaping hole. I briefly wondered how the bricks moved that way before filing it in my mental folder labeled "magic".

"Thank you for your help Tom," Mother sent Tom a kind smile.

The smile was returned in full force, "It was no trouble Lady Meredith." He turned to go back into the dingy pub, and disappeared with one last wave goodbye.

Even though the streets of Diagon Alley were bare there was still that feeling of absolute magic in the air. You could practically taste it. Since we were safe in a magical environment mother took off her glamours, and I morphed back into my eight year old, girl self.

Since most, if not all, of the stores were closed at this time mother took me to Gringotts. It was the same bank as the one in America. Apparently it was a monopoly in the Wizarding World. It was even run by goblins.

"Good morning sir," the goblin mother approached didn't even look up, "I'd like to talk with someone about my vaults."

"Do you have your key?" The goblin still scratched away with his quill.

Honestly a quill? What century are we living in?

"My key is for a vault in America," mother told the goblin. "I was hoping to get the money transferred, and then get a blood test done to find what other vaults I own here."

The goblin finished whatever sentence he was on before dropping the quill back into a small glass jar of ink. He stood up from his stool to go and fetch another goblin from some side door. He returned with another gobbling that somehow seemed even older than the first.

The older goblin instructed us to follow him, and we did so silently. We were brought to a stone room with a black desk shoved against the back wall, and two chairs set in front of the desk. We took our seats in the chairs while the goblin sat behind the desk. He opened a drawer and pulled out a small dagger, along with a sheet of rough looking paper.

"Allow three drops of blood to fall onto the parchment."

Mother took the dagger from the goblin and made a small cut on her thumb. We both winced at the action, and I watched as her blood dropped onto the pap–parchment three times.

The red blots were immediately absorbed, and words appeared all across the face of the parchment. Mother took the sheet and her eyes soaked in every word. Occasionally there would be a raised brow, but otherwise her face was blank.

"Could my daughter be tested as well?" Mother's eyes flickered up from the parchment in her hand to the goblin.

In response he just took out another blank sheet.

I hesitantly took the dagger from where mother set it on the desk. Chewing the inside of my cheek I quickly cut my left forefinger. The stinging sensation wasn't as bad as I thought. Seeing it happen to someone else was apparently more painful.

Just like with mother's my three drops of blood were absorbed into the parchment to reveal what vaults I owned.

 _Alex Susan Palmer_

 _Daughter of Gerald Palmer and Meredith Palmer née Winslow_

 _Born April 14, 1960_

 _Heiress of:_

 _Ancient and Noble house of Fox_

 _Ancient and Noble house of Winslow_

 _Vaults and their Contents:_

 _Fox :_

 _Family Vault: 1,205,097 Galleons, 628 Sickles, 124 Knuts_

 _Trust Vault: 54,729 Galleons, 830 Knuts_

 _Winslow:_

 _Family Vault: 2,631,825 Galleons, 529 Sickles, 381 Knuts_

 _Trust Vault: 71, 764 Galleons, 27 Sickles, 201 Knuts_

 _Miscellaneous Vault:_

 _Blocked until majority_

 _Abilities:_

 _Metamorphmagus_

 _Animagus_

I handed the sheet over for mother to look over before she set them both in the desk, "Is it possible for me to get the head family rings, while Alex gets the heiress rings?"

The goblin dragged the pieces of parchment towards him, and briefly looked them over to find what families we belonged to. "The vaults belonging to the Ancient and Noble house of Fox are located in this bank. Winslow will have to be re-routed from the American bank back to this one of you wish to access it. This will take a few weeks," he looked up at mother to get her approval.

She nodded, "That's alright. I can always use the Fox vault for now."

The old goblin absently nodded. He placed the parchments inside of a drawer, and when he closed it he waved his hand with a few murmured words I couldn't catch.

He reopened the drawer, and instead of parchment there were two small boxes sitting inside. The goblin placed the boxes side by side on the top of his desk. When he lifted the lid on both boxes four different rings were revealed.

In the box on the right there were two rings. One of them had a creamy red jewel embedded in a thick silver band, with a silver fox designed on the jewel. The second ring also had a thick band only black, and instead of a jewel a family crest was engraved into the band. It was a blue shield with the silhouette of a bear encircled by a phrase in Latin: "Scire fortitudo vestra et noluistis, custodi vestra confortare".

None of the words were familiar to me, so I made a mental note to look them up later.

Mother put the one with the fox, no doubt the Fox family ring, on her right forefinger, and the one with Latin writing fit onto her right middle finger. The last two rings were the heir rings. In this case heiress rings. The Fox ring was just a thin gold band engraved with red gems, and the Winslow ring was a think black band with three green gems on each side leading up to a sparkly white diamond. The fox heiress ring went on the left forefinger while the Winslow went on the middle.

Mother requested a pouch connected to the Fox family vault for herself, and another pouch connected to the Fox trust vault for me. I wouldn't gain access to the family vaults until I became of age.

We finished talking about the vaults and their contents, and mother asked the goblin what, if any, properties the families own under their names. There were three under the Fox name, and two under Winslow. The two under Winslow were no good since both were back in America. Fox had two in Britain, and another one out in India.

They were both put in the middle of nowhere, but out of the two of them one of them was the Fox family manor. Since that one was too big mother and I decided to live in the three bedroom cottage. It was sitting quite nicely in the middle of a large forest clearing.

Once our dealings with the goblins were done we were more than happy to leave the bank. I had felt kind of bed when I realized I didn't know the name of the goblin we had been conversing with. It was totally worth the look of shock on the goblins face when I stayed back for a moment to ask what his name was.

It was Slipaxe. I thought it was weird, but I didn't say anything about it. For all I knew it was a respectable name in the goblin community.

When we made it out of the bank there were a lot more people wandering the streets of Diagon. Not a whole lot, but there were a few people walking around. Our plane landed at five in the morning, and with our taxi drive to London added to our time in the bank it was about seven o'clock now.

"What do you say we stop for some ice cream before checking out that cottage?"

I looked up at my mother with a happy smile, "Sure."

Mother chuckled, "Alright sweetheart."

Hearing her chuckle brought a warm, hopeful feeling in my chest. I know this whole situation was really taking its toll on her. For her to feel the happiness to chuckle was a god sign that she could be getting over this.

We stopped at a shop called Florean Fortescue's where I got a waffle cone with a scoop of strawberry, and a scoop of butterscotch. Mother just got plain chocolate in a cup.

The goblin had given us a silver chain that would portkey us to the cottage. I had wanted to go right away, but mother just insisted on finishing my ice cream before we left. She had some kind of knowing twinkle in her eye that made me suspicious.

I wanted to both savor my ice cream and choke it down so we could leave quicker. After a few thoughtful licks I decided I wanted to see the cottage a lot more than savor my ice cream I fervently began biting at the cold treat. More than once I gained a brain freeze, and each time I pressed my thumb to the roof of my mouth. I heard it helps from one of my past lives, and I've done it ever since.

Popping the end of the cone into my mouth I quickly chewed it up, "Ready!" I swallowed the cone.

"Finally!" My mother joked. She'd finished her ice cream about two minutes ago. "Hold on tightly," she held out the portkey, "and don't let go."

With raised brows I grasped onto the silver chain tightly. I heard mother murmur the password to activate the portkey before something hooked behind my nasal. It wasn't exactly painful, but it was definitely the most uncomfortable feeling in the world. Imagine someone hooking something through your nasal and then dragging you around, just without the pain. It's not fun.

The next thing I knew I was being thrown against the ground in a heap of limbs. The wind had been knocked out of me some time during the ride (if you could call it that). I had to lay on the ground for a few moments to try and gain my bearings.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" Mother didn't even try holding back her amused smile.

I glared at her with all the fierceness an eight year old could muster, "A warning would have been nice."

She just kept smiling.

Heaving myself off of the ground I looked around at all of the tall trees a little ways off in the distance. And there, smack dab in the middle of the clearing, was a small, two story home. It had whitewashed siding with blue shutters. There was a large porch on the front of the house with a porch swing to the left of the door.

I gave a small smile of excitement. The house looked absolutely adorable, and no doubt the inside would look just as lovely.

Not bother ping to wait for my mother I rushed up to the dark wood front door, and thrust it open. A cloud of dust rose up from the floor where the door had pushed through, and I coughed to try and get it out of my lungs.

When it finally felt like I wasn't about to choke I carefully stepped into the home to see that, yes, it was very dusty, but it was also just as adorable on the inside as it was on the outside.

Once all of the dust was cleared up (thanks to a wave of mothers wand) the color of the walls and furniture was visual. The room the front door lead to was the living room. It had cherry wood floors, and a matching coffee table that sat in front of the cream colored sofa. All set on top of a light brown rug. The walls were painted the same brown color as the rug.

Farther back from the living room was an open floor plan to the kitchen. The brown walls and cherry floors extended all the way to the kitchen area, and the cabinets were also a dark cherry color. The only thing separating the kitchen from the living room was the island, which had a white granite countertop. To the left of the kitchen was a door that lead into a half-bathroom.

Halfway between the living room and kitchen, on the right side of the room, was a spiral staircase that lead up to the second floor. It was a pretty wide staircase I was easily able to climb up.

The stairs ended at the beginning of a fairly long hallway That extended off to my left, while there was a door to my immediate right. I pushed open the door to see a very large bedroom that must have been the master. There was a queen sized bed pushed up against the far right corner with a dresser in front of that. There was a walk in closet attached to the same wall the dresser was up against, and the door to the en suite was across from the far wall.

Knowing mother would be the one to get the master I just quietly left the room to explore the rest of the hallway.

There were two doors on the left of the hall, one on the right, and one at the very end that was actually a little creepy.

Opening up the first door on the right I looked inside to see a room painted a soft yellow color with a white shaggy rug. There was a closet on the left side of the room, and the bed pushed up to the right wall had yellow pillows with a white comforter.

Exiting the room I opened up the next door I came across, which was the bathroom door on the right side of the hallway. It was the same cherry wood floor, with white marble counter tops, a shower, and a toilet.

Nodding in acceptance of the nice bathroom I went to the next door on the left side to reveal another bedroom. This was like the mirror image of the other one. The bed was on the left wall, and the closet on the right, but instead of being yellow and white it was blue. My perfect bedroom.

"Alex!"

I exited the room I dubbed as mine to see mother at the end of the hall, "Yes mother?"

"Have you chosen your room yet?"

I nodded and pointed at the space in front of me, "This one."

She came down the hallway to join me in the doorway of the blue bedroom, "It suits you." Mother took my trunk out of her pocket and set it on my bed so she could enlarge it. "I am going to go to sleep since I didn't get much on the plane. Tomorrow we can go back to Diagon for new clothes," mother informed me.

When I nodded in acceptance mother walked back down the hall to the master bedroom, and closed the door behind her.

Eyeing the creepy door sitting at the end of the hallway I quickly decided to explore what was behind it another day. Maybe tomorrow after shopping. But for now I was pretty tired, and I needed to get my body used to the new time zone.

Striding into my room I shut the door behind me and lugged my trunk off the full sized bed. Bouncing onto my bed I just laid there on top of the covers and drifted into a peaceful slumber.


	7. Chapter 7

The next time I woke up it was six in the evening. My trunk was still on the floor from earlier this morning, and I ended up tripping over it when I climbed down from my bed. It surprised me that my loud cursing didn't wake up my mother, who was still sleeping in the master bedroom down the hall.

I was feeling hungry, but since we didn't have any food in the house I had to wait for my mother to wake up. Since I didn't know how long that would take I decided to unpack my trunk. At least that way when I'm done I can stow it out of the way without the danger of tripping over it.

The closet of my room wasn't very big, but that didn't matter. Even though I packed most of my clothes it wasn't a lot.

There were three sections to my closet. The right side had a pole going across so I could hang my long-sleeved shirts, but without any hangers that was pretty useless to me right now. In the middle of the closet were six shelves from floor to ceiling, then the left side had one shell that cut the space in the middle.

I had no hangers so hanging anything up wasn't an option. All of my clothes ended up being placed on the shelves. Undergarments on the lowest shelf, then going up were my jeans, shorts, t-shirts, and my long-sleeved shirts. The two sweatshirts I owned went on top of the half shelf, and my trunk went underneath it.

Now that everything was packed away I checked down the hall to see if my mother had woken up yet, but when I looked down the hall her bedroom door was closed. A closed door meant she was still asleep.

I contemplated waking her up, but decided against it. I've never woken my parents up for anything other than holidays this life, and I wasn't going to start now.

Turning to go back into my room for some more reading time my eyes drifted passed the rickety looking door I'd seen yesterday. It really was quite unremarkable, but it had an air of mystery about it that drew my attention.

Biting the inside of my cheek I cautiously walked up to the old door. When I turned the knob I half hoped it would be locked, but those hopes went up in flames when the knob jerkily turned.

The door opened on rusty hinges, and I allowed it to creak the rest of the way open to reveal a dark staircase. There wasn't a light switch anywhere in sight, and I was left to stare up into the pitch black of whatever lay up the stairway.

I just about closed the door right then and there, but somewhere in the back of my mind a sly voice whispered that I could just _make a light._

Forcing myself to stop biting the inside of my cheek I held my palm out flat. Closing my eyes for better concentration I recalled the step that I took each time I used my wandless magic to make the light.

Had anyone asked me what exactly it was that I did I would tell them it was hard to describe. I have to reach deep inside of myself, almost like I was trying to find my soul, and I'd know when I found it because from behind my closed eyelids I see a pinprick of golden light. So small it's barely noticeable, but since all of this is happening in my mind I can just know that it's there.

I chased after the light, and the closer I got to it the brighter it became. Once I could "touch" the light it flared out, momentarily blinding me. When my eyes adjusted to the onslaught until I could see clearly in front of me.

It felt as though I was surrounded by a rainbow of colors when there were really only three. There were strands of blue, purple, and brown all crisscrossing one another, and vanishing off in random directions. Yet these strands were fairly solid, while surrounding them like a fog were the same three colors, only swirling around each other. They didn't mix together to create another color, they just swirled into one another. The sight took my breath away every time.

I had discovered this during one of my meditations. When I was trying to produce a light I constantly failed, which in turn made me frustrated. Meditating helped me calm down, and at one point I tried digging deeper inside myself and ended up finding what I eventually concluded was my magical core. It had been quite the shock, but with a mental touch to any of the colors swirling around me I could finally do wandless magic. Though it's mentally exhausting. The more I do it the easier it gets, thankfully.

Opening my eyes I looked down at my hand to see a small bluish light hovering over my palm. I wondered why the light was bluish. Maybe it's because one of the colors of my magic was blue, but then why wouldn't it be purple or brown? And why was my magical core three different colors?

 _It's possible,_ I missed to myself as I cautiously approached the dark staircase, _that each color represents one of my lives._

One of the stairs beneath my feet creaked loudly, interrupting my musings. Now that I was no longer lost in my thoughts I could see how dark it really was. It was like a pitch black hole that threatened to swallow up the light in my hand. The light was only bright enough to show about a foot in front of me.

My foot lifted up to the next step–only to be met with air. I stomped my foot onto the floor to keep from falling over.

Turning around I looked down to see the light from the hallway through the open door. It wasn't bright enough to reach all the way up the stairs, but I was grateful for it anyway.

Cautiously stepping forward I held out my hand as far away from my body as possible in the hopes that I could see more of my surroundings.

It didn't work.

My walk through the dark attic seemed pretty uneventful. I never tripped over anything because there was nothing to trip over. It's like the entire place was empty. I only realized it wasn't because my light shines on something long and white hanging from the ceiling.

The sudden sight had me jumping. Soon after I mentally berated myself for being afraid of string.

Slowly reaching over with my free hand I grasped the string. Gently pulling it down I heard a click from somewhere above me, and a light suddenly flickered on. The flood of light partially blinded me, and I dropped my own light so I could rub y eyes with both hands.

I opened my eyes behind my hands so the light wouldn't blind me again, and then I slowly removed them. Looking around I saw I had been walking down the entire length of the attic without trouble because everything had been pushed up against the walls.

The wood floor was old and dusty, along with the rickety chairs and other cloth covered items.

There was a hole in the floor that was actually the staircase. There wasn't a railing surrounding it for some sort of protection.

It was rather unremarkable, and the uneasiness I had upon walking up the scary stairway vanished. There was nothing up here to be afraid of except for maybe spiders and other bugs.

There was one thing in the attic that seemed to continuously drag my attention. I tried to ignore it and head back downstairs, but my feet seemed to have grown a mind of their own.

Pushed up against the far wall of the attic was a trunk that looked similar to mine, only a different color. I expected it to be locked, but it easily clicked open. That made me think it was a mundane trunk, but the books about potions and transfiguration buried underneath pieces of parchment had me thinking otherwise.

The trunk was just one big compartment that had books on the bottom and papers filled up to the top. The only odd thing was a shoe box that was halfway out of the parchments.

I pulled it out so I could set it down on the floor. The lid easily came off and I was left to look at a box of knickknacks. There was a piece of Quartz attached to a simple silver chain. I only knew it was Quartz because it was my birthstone. There was a small wooden figurine of a bird, and a black pouch.

Picking up the pouch I looked inside so see some sort of silvery powder. It made me happy that I decided not to pour the contents into my hand first. There was also a slip of paper buried in the powder, and I carefully pulled it out.

According to what was written the powder inside was called Floo powder. The word sounded familiar, but I just couldn't figure out why. I moved on from the name of the powder to see two words written, "Grimauld Place".

If Floo powder sounded familiar then that was like reading about the best friend from high school you'd forgotten about. I _knew_ Grimauld Place was had an important role in Harry Potter, but since it's been forever since I saw the movie I don't remember why.

Putting the note and Floo powder back into the box I replaced the lid and tucked it under my elbow. I closed the trunk and quickly scurried towards the string attached to the lightbulb. Making sure I was in the right path towards the stairs I turned off the light and was immediately enveloped in darkness. I had to take a deep breath before slowly making my way in the direction of the stairs.

Eventually I saw the orange light from the hallway down stairs and I practically jumped down the stairs to get away from the darkness. It was creepy being in it, but creepier to have it at your back.

Just as I closed the door to the attic my mother's voice sounded from down the hall, "Alex?"

I spun around with the shoe box hidden behind my back, "Yes mother?"

She gave me a gentle smile, "Don't go up there okay? I don't know what's up there yet."

I bit the inside of my cheek guiltily, but otherwise didn't show any emotion, "Okay."

"Come on downstairs," mother walked towards the stairs, "well go out for some lunch."

"Be right there!" Quickly shuffling into my room I shoved the shoe box under my pillow before returning to the hallway. I really wanted something to eat, and trying to figure out what Floo powder was definitely wasn't as important.

* * *

 **AN: WHOO an update!**


	8. Chapter 8

Since there weren't any wards set up around the property mother was able to apparate the two of us to Diagon Alley. I hadn't believed there was transportation worse than a portkey, but I was proven wrong. It took two lifetimes worth of stomach churning experiences for me to not throw up all over my sneakers.

Mother, after checking to make sure I was feeling alright, seemed to find the situation rather humorous, the witch (no pun intended).

We stopped to have dinner in the Leaky Cauldron before moving out into the muggle world. Mother needed to go shopping not just for food, but other home appliances. We needed cups, silverware, plates, hangers, and mother even bought a TV to go across form the couch in the living room.

There were so many bags to carry that we were forced to take breaks in between walking. Mother wanted to whip out her wand and just shrink all of them, but we were in the middle of the mundane world. A few times I was tempted to just shout at her "screw the mundanes! My arms are about to fall off!", but I didn't say anything.

Once the Leaky Cauldron was in sight I shouted with relieved joy, and bolted for the run down pub. Mother called for me to slow down, but I ignored her.

Had I been a normal eight year old I would have felt uncomfortable being in such a shady place all by myself, but I felt perfectly fine. Only impatient for my mother to hurry up so she could shrink the bags.

"Alex," mother sounded both relieved and exasperated when she saw me, "don't go running ahead like that."

I just nodded, "Okay."

She just shook her head, "Come on." We went into the back alley to enter Diagon. This time we didn't need Tom to come and help us out since we remembered how to get back there.

Once we were on the boisterous pub of the magical world mother waisted no time in shrinking down all of our bags and shoving them into her pockets. There were so many they made both of mother's pockets bulge out.

I looked up hopefully, "Can I get more books mother?"

She looked down at me with furrowed brows, "More?"

I nodded, "I'll be out of materials soon, and I'd like to get books on a new subject."

Mother glanced around for a few moments to think about my request before nodding in acceptance, "We can get some new books, but only a few! Three at most."

Smiling happily I ventured off into the streets of Diagon towards the bookstore. I'd seen it earlier that day when we went for ice cream, and I was excited to see how different it was from the one back in America.

Compared to this morning Diagon was a lot more crowded, and mother insisted on holding my hand. It was fairly degrading for me to do this, but I was physically an eight year old, and I allowed my mother to worry. Although when the bookstore, Flourish and Blotts, was in sight I once again raced ahead to leave her in the dust.

A bell above the doorway rang when I walked in. The store in America didn't have that, but it did have the same new book smell I would never fail to love.

I dashed towards the nearest bookshelf to see it was all about transfiguration. Not needing any of those I wandered down the isle to see they were all filled with classroom issued books. Most likely all books Hogwarts would require. I wondered if the books I had would be the ones Hogwarts used, or if there was a different set. I was eighty percent certain it would be different since each set I owned had eight books and Hogwarts only has seven years.

At one point I hit the history section where a book called "Hogwarts: A History" sitting on one of the shelves, and I decided that would be one of my three books. If I was going to go there for my schooling it would be best to learn a little bit about it. More than what I remembered from the movies.

Another book I found was rather thin, and well-worn. It had a simple title of "Animagus" that struck a chord in my memory. Back at the bank it said in my vault papers that I had two abilities. One of them was Animagus. Even back then I knew it had some part in Harry Potter, but it was just another thing I couldn't quite remember.

It was moments like those that I became irritated with myself for not reading the books or watching the movies more often.

The last book I found was a lot thicker than "Animagus". It was called "The Mind Arts of Occlumency and Legillimency". Something _else_ that triggered a memory in the recesses of my mind regarding Harry Potter. I started to get the feeling everything in Britain was going to frustrate me with its familiarity to Harry Potter.

For some reason I didn't want my mother to see what I'd chosen. I heard her calling for me around the shop so I quickly went up to the front desk, and handed them to the lady behind the register.

She was pretty young, possibly just graduating from Hogwarts. "You a Ravenclaw?"

I stared at her blankly, "A what?" _Ravenclaw? Isn't that Hogwarts related?_

The woman seemed surprised, "It's one of Hogwarts houses." She saw the book on Hogwarts' history, "You'll read all about it in here. I was a Hufflepuff myself."

I couldn't stop the snort that escaped me, "Hufflepuff?"

She frowned and got defensive, "It's a good house."

"I never said it wasn't," I retorted calmly. "I only laughed because of how idiotic it sounded. I mean really, Hufflepuff? It sounds like a pink ball of fluff you'd snuggle with at night."

Any conversation was silenced after that. The woman obviously didn't appreciate me laughing at the name of her house, but I couldn't help it. Anybody in their right minds wouldn't want to go into a house called "Hufflepuff" of all things. If I get sent into that house I would start a revolution to change it. Damn the consequences.

Just as I grabbed my bagged books mother rounded a shelf and saw me, "Alex."

I winced. She didn't sound happy. "Yes mother?"

"I told you not to run off like that again," her voice was stern, meaning she meant business.

"I'm really sorry mother, it's just," I shuffled my feet in a way I knew made me look adorably uncomfortable, "you know how much I love getting new books."

Mother sighed, something she seemed to be doing a lot today, "I know sweetheart, just try not to do it again."

I nodded readily, "I'll try." It seems I still knew how to charm my way out of trouble. Id become very good at it as Édouard Beaulieu. I had to, to get out of trouble for all the roughhousing I did in my teenage years. If I hadn't I'd have gotten into ten times more trouble.

The next obstacle I encountered was when mother asked me what books I'd chosen. I was ready to tell her what they all were, but still something told me not to say anything. It was a little frustrating, but I stuck with my gut and lied. "I got 'Hogwarts: A History', a herbology book, and a smaller book on some stars." _Well, one of them was true._

Mother nodded in acknowledgement, not even questioning whether or not those were really the books I'd gotten.

This was probably the moment when we were supposed to head home. By either apparition or portkey. Neither of which I wanted to endure for a second time.

It was also the moment when I turned my head to see into the window of another shop occupying Diagon's streets. The only difference with this window was that there animals decorated all over the walls of the shop. Real, live, _breathing_ animals. And I _wanted one_.

"Mooooom!"

Mother startled. There was only a handful of times I'd called her mom instead of mother, and she cherished every moment. "What's wrong honey?"

I grabbed onto her shirt sleeve with my free hand, pulling her towards the pet shop, "Can I have one? _Please!_ " My moment of weakness made me sound more childish than usual. Though animals are always a weakness.

Mother seemed apprehensive, "I don't know darling."

"But we've never had an animal before! I need the experience," that was a lie considering I had a dog in my past life, and some cats in the life before.

"I'm not sure…"

"Mother," I put my hands on my waist, "we have the room, and the money, for one."

She looked at me critically, "Animals take a lot of responsibility."

"You don't think I can do it?" My tone became challenging.

"I know you can do it. I'm wondering if you're ready for it," she had a playful glint in her eyes. A look soon mirrored in my own because I knew I'd won, and we were about to get a new member of the family.

Entering the pet shop was a lot different then entering a bookstore. It was louder, and smelled weird. Like a mixture of dogs, and cats, and musk. It wasn't very pleasant.

I started for the cats when mother put a hand on my shoulder, "No cats honey. I'm allergic, remember?"

It took me a moment, but I did remember something about mother not doing well around cats.

"Can we get a dog then?" I looked around in search of one and my eyes found owls, "Or an owl?"

Mother hummed, "You'll need an owl when you go off to Hogwarts."

I looked at her confusedly, "Why?"

"It's how we'll stay in touch. Owls are what wizards and witches use for sending mail. Though in America they're looking for a faster way. Not sure what Britain is doing about it."

"Huh," _wow_ , I thought, _these people really need cell phones_ , "so I have to get an owl?"

"You don't _have_ to, but you'll need one eventually."

I pursed my lips thoughtfully. It may be best to just get an owl for now, but I wanted something else. Something I could cuddle with when I went to bed.

Slowly strolling towards the owls my eyes drifted over each one of them thoughtfully. There were some pretty white ones, all black ones, and dull brown ones, all ranging in size. But there was one fairly small owl that was only about the size of my head, maybe a little smaller. It's head was a dark brown, and the feathers got lighter towards the tail. There were also light brown spots speckled all over its body.

"I kinda like this one, mother," I pointed at the owl, and it's yellow eyes watched my fingers movements.

She came over to examine the owl I'd found, "He looks pretty good. You want to get him?"

I hesitated slightly before nodding. It wasn't the pet I'd wanted to get, but he would do.

Mother grasped the handle of the owl's gold colored cage, "Let's get the food and owl treats."

We started walking towards the far wall that held various bags and toys for the animals held in the store. I was trudging my way over there in a huff. An owl had not exactly been the animal I was hoping to own, but if it's what I would need then I shouldn't argue.

There was some barking going on near the front of the store, and I looked to see if mother had made it to the owl treats and whatnot. When I confirmed that she was standing by the wall I directed my course to the barking.

I was greeted by the sight of several dog breeds placed by side. The larger dogs on the bottom, while smaller dogs were stacked on top of them. A couple families were standing in front of the cages looking to buy one. It made me feel good to know these animals were going to get a new home. They deserved to be out and about instead of confined in a cage.

There were two wooden crates set up beside the adult dogs with glass fronts for people to see inside. The crate on the left had a litter of beagle puppies that were happily barking and crawling over one another. I laughed at the picture they made and moved to see what was in the next crate.

Sitting inside was a single puppy that was probably the last of his litter. It's fur was dark brown on its back and faded into an orange the closer it got to his stomach. The tips of each paw was colored white, and there was also a small white patch on his throat. He was looking up at me with soulful brown eyes that begged for me to adopt him.

"Aw," I reached my harms down into the crate as far as they could go. I was only about 4' 2" and the crate was three feet high. Possibly a bit higher. It prevented me from reaching all the way down and hugging him into my arms.

When the puppy propped his paws up against the glass I melted a little bit more inside. He was cute _and_ smart.

My hands wrapped themselves beneath his arms and dragged him out of the crate to hold against my chest. He was making small whining noises in his throat as he peppered my face with little puppy licks.

I squealed girlishly and hugged him even tighter.

"Alex." The amused voice came from above me, and I craned my neck to see mother looking down at me with amusement, "Who's this?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, "He doesn't have a name."

"Oh?" She switched her gaze on the puppy currently licking my neck. "He seems to like you."

Smiling excitedly I turned around so my neck didn't have to stay at such an odd angle. "Can we get him too?"

Mothers shoulders sagged, and I looked to see her arms were loaded with owl things.

"I'll get the things he'll need. Like food, treats, toys, leash, collar. He'll have a lot of room to run around back at home. He can stay out of your bedroom if that's a problem."

"Honey I would say yes, but we've already bought so many things today. I don't think I have the room to get any more stuff."

"Then we can put it in my pockets," I stated simply. "Besides isn't there some sort of magical thing that can bring our stuff home?"

Mother seemed ready to say know when she stopped. An odd look passed in her eyes, and she smiled at me, "There is something that can help us. If you can take care of all of this," she moved the items in her arms and gestured to the puppy in mine, "then I'll go and take care of it."

I looked at her suspiciously. There didn't seem to be any sort of catch so I just nodded slowly, "Okay."

I adjusted the puppy in my arms to hold him underneath one elbow, and took the owl cage in the same hand as my bag of books. All the owl items then went into my unoccupied arm. It was a mess, and I almost dropped everything at one point, but I did it.

"Good luck."

I glared after my mother. She wanted me to fail! _I'll show her, the witch!_

Wobbling up towards the front counter I dropped all of the owl items onto the desk. They all spilled out over the counter, and some even fell behind it. The man looked at the owl treats that fell into his lap, and then back up when at sound of a cage being set onto the counter.

"Sorry," I grimaced at the mess. "My mother seemed to think she needed every bit of food under the sun."

"That's alright, miss."

"Would you mind watching all of this for me?" I pleaded with wide eyes, showing off the blue iris that bled brown near the pupil. They reminded me of the ocean.

The man nodded, "Sure. Just leave them off to the side."

Sending him a grateful look I pushed the owl cage towards the side and carefully stacked the bags of food beside it. When I was sure they wouldn't fall over I moved the puppy from beneath my elbow and held him in my arms like a baby.

It took some searching but eventually I found the wall that held all of the dog items. I decided to find the food first since that was the least exciting thing. Just some simple puppy chow would do the trick, and he seemed to enjoy sniffing at the bag.

Beside the food was the treats, and I found a large bone he was ready to tear into, along with a bag of some bacon looking things.

Next was a section of wall covered in various types of toys. There was a long white rope you would use to play tug-of-war with, a tennis ball, and a rubber cat that squeaked.

I had the most fun picking out what collar to get him. There were all sorts of designs I to chose from, but I just couldn't decide which one would look best.

Apparently my opinion didn't matter because the little guy wriggled out of my arms to look for one himself. It took him about two seconds before he bit onto one and tried pulling it off of the wall.

"Alright, alright, hold your horses," I reached forward to pry the collar out of his mouth and pull it off the wall. It wasn't anything special. Just a simple brown leather collar about a centimeter wide.

"Really?" I looked into his dark brown eyes, "You don't want a pretty blue one with sparkles?"

He just continued to stare at me.

"Fine, we'll get this one." He whined happily as if he knew what I was saying.

Grabbing a matching leash I brought everything up to the counter, allowing the puppy to walk beside me because I couldn't carry him and all of his stuff.

When I got back to the front desk my owl and all of his stuff was still sitting on the counter, along with all of his things. The pile of stuff grew even more now that the puppy's things were being added.

"This is it," I looked at the man expectantly before gasping in realization. Bending down I picked up the puppy and set him on the counter, "And him!"

The man started ringing up all of the animal items that I was buying. Each one added more and more money to the list until I was left cringing at the cost. My money pouch was connected to the Fox trust vault, which only held around fifty-thousand galleons. This was going to pack quite the punch.

I was left with two bags filled with animal necessities, a bag of dog food, and two animals. For better control I immediately placed the collar on the puppy's neck and leashed him.

When I went to the door of the shop to wait for my mother I saw she was already there. "Mother?"

"I see you were able to handle yourself," she smiled down at me, and (thankfully) took the owl.

"Of course I did," it kind of hurt that she believed I couldn't. "So did you find what you were looking for."

She smiled, "I did. Mandy!"

There was a small moment where I just looked at her like she was crazy before a small pop echoed in front of us. I looked down to see an ugly creature with bulbous sea green eyes, batty ears, and wrinkly skin wearing a dirty pillowcase. "Mandy be ready to serve her new Mistress!"

I could only stare at the squeaky creature while the owl flapped wildly in his cage, and the puppy stood in front of me with his tail between his legs and growling.

Mother acted like there was absolutely nothing wrong, "Take these bags to our cottage, along with the owl and dog."

Mandy bowed politely, "Right away Mistress!"

She took the owl from mother's hands and reached for the bags in mine, but I pulled them away, "What are you?"

She flinched away from me, and I instantly felt bad for getting defensive, "Mandy bes a houself."

My brows furrowed and once again I recognized the term. Just another thing from Harry Potter that I've forgotten. "Oh. Erm, I'm sorry for snapping at you Mandy. You just kind of, um, freaked me out."

Mandy's eyes widened, "Little Mistress is apologizing to Mandy?"

"Uh, yeah. And my name is Alex." I wasn't sure how I felt about being called a mistress.

"Mistress Alex is so kind!" Mandy's eyes were watering up, and looked about ready to burst into tears.

"Don't cry Mandy! Here," I held out the bags urgently, "take the bags and get back to the cottage."

She nodded absently with tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. I also gave her the puppy's leash because our way of traveling would not be pleasant for him. Hopefully houself travel is better.

"Ready to go honey?"

I looked at her outstretched hand distrustfully. If I grabbed it I would get whisked into another session of apparition. Something I was in no way looking forward too, but it needed to be done.

"Yeah," I slipped my hand into hers resignedly, "let's go."

A pop sounded from beside us, and I realized Mandy had left to go back to the cottage. We followed behind seconds after with a loud crack.

* * *

 **AN: So how am I doing so far?**


	9. Chapter 9

Finding a name for the puppy, which I eventually learned to be an Irish Wolfhound, was rather easy. At first I contemplated calling him Shorty, but it didn't quite fit him. After about a day of thinking I remembered the name my father, from my very first life, had named his dog when he was younger.

Thus, my little Irish Wolfhound was named Barney. Though, he won't be little for very long.

The next conundrum I had to face was naming my owl. I'd never owned a bird in my entire life, and didn't know what sort of options I had. At one point I contemplated the name Chocolate, since he was brown, but he glared at me when I suggested it so it was tossed.

It took about a week of the owl's constant hooting for me to yell, "Shut up you hooter!"

Mother had scolded me for the language, but the name Hooter stuck rather well. Now we have an owl named Hooter, an Irish Wolfhound named Barney, and a houself named Mandy. We were a rather eccentric bunch.

As time passed I became much more comfortable in the cottage. Enough for me to call it home. Hooter–a name that constantly reminded me of the Hooters restaurant, and made me smile–grew about two inches while Barney sprouted like a weed. His head just about reached my shoulders, and if he stood up on his hind legs he easily towered over me.

By my ninth birthday I'd also grown about two inches, and our peculiar family threw a small party. Small because we didn't know anybody. It's not like we had any neighbors to talk to. It made me feel bad for my mother because when I was off at school during the day she would be home all alone. Sure she had the animals and Mandy, but it would be nice if she had another human (besides me) to talk to.

One day after school I did my usual ritual of finding a deserted alley way and portkeying back home. After about a year of doing this I'd perfected my landings, and no longer fell on my face.

When I walked through the front door I was immediately greeted by an enthusiastic Barney. As usual he barreled me right to the floor, and I had to try and wrestle him off of me. Something he always seemed to view as a game instead of me seriously trying to get him off.

After a while of him still holding me down I realized mother hadn't dragged him off of me. By now she would have gotten off of the couch to drag him away by the collar and thrown him outside, but I was forced to use whatever strength my body possessed to push the dog away.

"Mother!" My irritation was ebbed away when I looked into Barney's wide brown eyes. "You, sir," I scratched him behind the ears, "are terrible."

Walking him to the front door I opened it wide enough so he could run out and do his business. When he came back in around five minutes later I shut the door. It was a routine thing. I came home, he pounced on me, mother dragged him off and threw him outside so he would go to the bathroom, then he'd come back inside and lay on the couch. The only difference today was that mother wasn't home.

"Mootheer!" Looking around the first floor I didn't see her walking around anywhere. Upstairs proved to be fruitless, and I even checked the attic. After the first time I went up there I'd gone up again about two times. It was a rather creepy experience and I tried to avoid it. Even Barney seemed hesitant about it.

Walking into my room I went up to the cage where Hooter was sleeping soundly. Opening the window in my room I went to quietly open the door of his cage to give him fresh food and water. Leaving the cage door open for when he woke up. That way he has something to eat and drink, and then should he wish to he could go out and do whatever owls did when they were outside.

With mother not in the house I could only assume she went out to do some sort of shopping, and by the lack of noise in the kitchen Mandy must have gone with her. That meant I had the house all to myself for an indefinite amount of time.

Narrowing my eyes I slowly drifted my gaze towards my bed. A slow smirk spread across my features as I zeroed in on my pillow. With a skip in my step I went up to the bed and reached under my pillow. When I extracted my hand the pouch of Floo powder was gripped in my fist.

Biting the inside of my cheek in excitement I raced from my room and flew down the stairs. Barney, hearing my rapid descent, sat up from his spot on the couch and watched me run towards the fire place that was set up beneath our TV. It had taken a few innocent questions to learn from Mandy that Floo powder was used as fireplace travel.

Huffing at the lack of fire I bemoaned the fact that I couldn't cast any more wandless magic. Now that I was comfortable with my wandless _Lumos_ I was starting to try other wandless spells. Only simple ones, and one at a time. As of right now I could wandlessly lift a feather six inches off of the ground before feeling drained.

Now I was wishing I was a magic whiz who could light a fire with a flick of my wrist.

Instead I had to run around the house looking for flammable items, mostly parchment, and I had to hope it was enough. After scouring the kitchen for a match and not finding one I was ready to resign myself to starting a fire the old fashion way when I saw the stove.

Grinning manically I took a piece of paper and lit it on fire from the stove top. Once I knew there was a steady enough flame I rushed to the fire place and shoved it in the middle of the papery chaos inside.

I knew the fire wouldn't last for very long–it was only paper after all–so I quickly flung a pinch of the Floo powder into the flames and watched as they burst from orange to green. Oh how I wanted to slowly enter the flames to make sure they really didn't burn, but I didn't have the time.

In preparation I took a handful of Floo powder before jumping into the fireplace. Trying to think of what to do next I threw down the Floo powder before attempting to clearly state the address, but it came out as more of a question, "Grimmauld Place?"

The last thing I heard was Barney's deep barks before my vision was filled with green flames. I gasped in shock and immediately tasted a horrible grainy smoke that infiltrated my lungs and threatened to choke me. It coated my entire mouth, and seemed to drag further down my throat.

The pulling sensation of Floo travel stopped when I felt myself get flung forward. My body tumbled forward until I was left on my back, still coughing. Coughing didn't see, to help at all, and only served to bring up globs of mucus that I couldn't spit out. I would have had I been outside, but I could feel the hardwood floors beneath me.

I tried forcing myself not to cough, and my eyes watered with the effort. That or the embers got in my eyes as well. Maybe both.

The need to cough grew too great for me to hold back, so I covered my mouth with my hands and coughed like I never coughed before.

When I was done my throat was sore as hell, and my mouth was full of mucus, but I no longer had the urgent need to cough.

Rolling onto my knees I looked up to see green flames flickering inside of a fireplace. From the messy ashes on the floor leading up to my knees I assumed it was the same fireplace I entered from.

With a mouth full of mucus and nowhere else to go I crawled forward and spit it all into the fire. I wrinkled my nose at its black color, but was otherwise happy it was out of my mouth. It tasted absolutely foul.

"Who are you?"

Jerking backwards I spun around to see a young boy standing beside a sofa. His black hair was pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, allowing his narrowed grey eyes too easily look down at me with suspicion.

I was still too stunned at seeing someone else in the room that I didn't fully register what he had said. Which was silly really, of course someone else would be here.

"I asked who you were."

The boy, who looked about my age, cut a pretty imposing picture. I'd applaud him had he been doing this to someone else, but since I was in the receiving end I easily disregarded the nine year olds attempt at intimidation.

"That is no way to ask a lady her name."

His attempts to act stern immediately melted away as he looked at me with astonished confusion, "What?"

I smirked at him and stood up from my place on the floor, "You can't just go up to a girl and demand they tell you their name. No. When you want to learn a girls name you have to approach them with an air of confidence."

The boy was looking at me with such a measure of confusion I had to fight down a laugh so I could continue speaking.

"Once they notice you, you approach them with a small smirk. It gives you a mysterious edge," by now I seemed to have gained his full attention. "When you're close enough you reach for their hand, bow over it, and kiss the air above their knuckles. Don't actually kiss their hand because A) you don't know where they've been, and B) they might not want your saliva on their hands.

"When you've done that you straighten back up. Keep the small smirk, but add a bit of a raised brow, and then ask them, 'What's your name, love?'." I finished my explanation with a solid nod. It was what I'd done as Édouard when trying to get in a girls pants.

Worked every time.

"Oh!" I snapped my fingers. "Another thing, never break eye contact with them."

The boy still didn't seem to know what to do with the sudden information thrown at him from a strange girl, but he was fairly quick to regain himself. "Who…"

I raised both eyebrows at him, and he sighed dramatically. Straightening himself up he looked me in the eyes and impatiently walked up to me. He, almost roughly, grabbed my hand and kissed the air above it so quickly I wasn't sure he did it at all.

"There," he dropped my arm like it was on fire, "now what's your name." He seemed to remember something else and rolled his eyes " _Love?_ "

"I'm Alex." I stuck out my hand, "What's your name?"

He stared at my soot covered hand, and it was his turn to raise his eyebrows, "I don't get special treatment?"

I pursed my lips thoughtfully, "I would curtesy, but I don't know how."

That pulled a smile onto the boys face, and he shook my hand–uncaring of the soot that no doubt transferred onto his fingers, "Sirius Black. Heir of the most Ancient and Noble house of Black."

I blinked at the title, "I really only needed your first name. Makes me feel kinda bad for not giving you my full name." He stared at me expectantly, but I just shook my head, "Maybe I'll tell you another day."

Our hands dropped to our sides, and we were left standing in silence. It wasn't awkward since we were both observing the other. No doubt he just saw some weird girl who came tumbling out of his fireplace unannounced. Her beat up red sneakers, ripped jeans, and blue hoodie covered in ashes. Along with her face and hair.

On the other hand I was looking at a rather pristinely dressed boy who exuded an air that screamed "Look at me I'm awesome!". I also didn't fail to catch the importance of his name. Not just from how long it was, but from the Harry Potter perspective. My memories weren't exactly brilliant on the subject, but I liked his character enough to remember he was Harry's godfather. A future Marauder.

Sirius finished examining me first, and when I finished I realized that the both of us had been blatantly staring at one another. It was enough to make me blush in embarrassment, but only a little. There wasn't much that embarrassed me any more, but there were still little things that got to me.

When Sirius saw me blushing he sent me the most charming grin I'd ever seen a nine year old give, and I knew, right then and there, he was going to be a major heartbreaker when he got older.

"So Sirius," I looked around cautiously, "where are your parents?"

His expression dimmed at the mention of his parents, but the look vanished soon enough, "They went out for the day. I'm not sure when they'll be back. Why?" He surveyed me cautiously, "Did you need them?"

When he said they weren't there my shoulders relaxed, and I shook my head at his question, "No I don't need them."

"Then you won't mind me asking what you're doing here?" Sirius inquired rather politely. I chalked it up to his parents raising him to be. Pureblood, I think he was.

I shrugged, there was no reason for me not to tell him, "I was exploring my attic when I found a trunk. There was a shoebox with a few trinkets and a pouch of Floo powder containing your address on a slip of paper." Patting down my pockets I tried finding said bag when I realized it was gone, "Oh no!"

Sirius was starting to grow concerned along with me, "What?"

"The bag is gone!"

"That's alright, we have Floo powder here you can use."

I smiled at Sirius' generosity, but it dimmed when I realized something very important. "There's only one problem Sirius," he looked at me expectantly, "I don't know my Floo address."

His eyes grew wide in surprise, "You what?!"

I chewed the inside of my cheek and murmured to myself, "This is quite the dilemma."

"A dile–Alex you used the bloody Floo network on a whim, and you don't even know how to get back!" Sirius was more worried about the whole thing than I was. Probably because he was an actual nine year old.

"Sirius," I laid a hand in his shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze, "chill out."

He looked at me confusedly, "'Chill out'?"

"Yeah. Basically you need to calm down."

"You're telling me to calm down?" He sounded so incredulous I chuckled.

"I'm telling you to calm down," I agreed. "There's nothing to worry about. I can just Floo to Diagon Alley, head to Gringotts, and see if they can find a portkey for me to take home. Or even an owl for me to send my mother a letter."

Sirius calmed down when he heard my plan, "How are you so calm about this?"

"Because I have no reason to get upset. It's actually rather exciting." It was true. The last time I felt this alive was when I found out I was a witch.

"Exciting?" He said the word as if it were foreign.

"Yes, exciting. I'm walking on the wild side of life Sirius. It's the best place you could ever be." Neither of us knew it at the time, but my carefree grin and aloof attitude is what sparked the rebellious side of Sirius Black. He would always, from there on out, look at his family's beliefs with skepticism because of a girl with muggle clothes covered in soot.

From behind us the fireplace suddenly flared to life. We turned to look at it with horror before looking back at each other.

Sirius' jaw clenched in determination as he latched onto my arm, "Come on!"

I soon found myself being dragged through the dark house called number 12 Grimmauld Place. Though we were running so fast I didn't have time to look at the scenery. Not that I wanted to. I, in no way shape or form, wanted to meet Sirius' parents.

"I thought you said they'd be out all day!" I whisper yelled at the dark haired boy.

"I also said I didn't know when they'd be back!" He shot back in the same tone, only a bit more agitated.

Sirius came to a halt, and I ended up colliding with his back. I held my pained nose with my free hand while Sirius pulled me through the doorway by my other arm. As soon as I was through the threshold he shut the door behind me as quickly and quietly as he could manage.

We were left to the silence of his room. Neither of us dared to make a sound other than breathing. We could faintly hear the flare of the fireplace from downstairs, and two people talking in low murmurs. The two voices started coming closer, and we heard two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs.

Sirius and I looked at each other in mute panic. "Shit!"

His eyes widened at my bad language, but he didn't have time to comment on it because the footsteps were growing closer and closer to his bedroom door.

Spinning around I searched the room for somewhere to hide. There was a queen sized bed with just enough space for me to suck underneath, and when Sirius jumped on top it only squished me against the floor a little bit.

I watched from my place beneath the bad as Sirius' bedroom door was pushed open. A pair of black heels walked in, followed by men's black oxford's.

"Wake up Sirius." The woman's–his mother's–voice was cold. I couldn't detect the hint of love my mother always held in her voice when she spoke to me.

The bed moved slightly. Probably from Sirius "waking up". "Hello Mother. Is everything well?"

My eyebrows furrowed as my eyes widened incredulously. This was not the type of conversation a mother and son have. There was no emotion to it.

"Everything is fine. Dinner shall be ready in an hour. Make sure you are ready." The black heels left the room. Black oxfords followed after.

After a few moments of listening, to make sure they weren't near the room, I wiggled out from beneath the bed. When I was on my knees my eyes were able to peek passed the edge of the bed. "So," I stated calmly, "those your parents?"

He had a sense of relief around him, most likely from them not finding out about me, "Yes."

I hummed, "I'm sorry, I have to ask, but does your mother love you?"

Sirius looked at me in bewilderment, "Of course she does!"

I pursed my lips, "Are you sure? 'Cause her voice didn't have an _ounce_ of love in it."

He looked at me blankly, "People put love in their voice?"

Groaning in dismay I stood up and sat on the bed in front of him, my legs crossed, "When my mother talks to me I can hear the love in her voice and see it in her eyes. Does your mom have that?"

Sirius stared at the wall in thought, "I wouldn't know. What does love sound like anyway?"

I chuckled, "That's a good question."

When I didn't continue he raised a brow expectantly, "Aren't you going to answer?"

Shaking my head I smirked, "I would if I had one."

We both dissolved into light chuckled before falling silent. Neither of us knew what to say, but it didn't really matter. The silence wasn't uncomfortable or awkward, just content.

After a while I started getting tired of the silence and looked over at him, "How old are you?"

So started our twenty questions. It turns out he was nine years old (like me), loved dogs (which I, once I remembered his animagus, found ironic), his favorite food was cake, and his favorite color was red–something he made me swear not to reveal to his family.

When I asked him why he told me it was one of the Gryffindor house colors, and his entire family went into Slytherin. By now I had read all of the book series for DADA, potions, transfiguration, and charms. Hogwarts: A History was another one I had finished. The book barely held my interest, but I was determined to finish it. History was never my strong suit. At least now I knew what house was what.

"That's stupid," was my response to his reasoning. "Just because your favorite color is red means they might disown you?" When he hesitantly nodded I scoffed, "If they really loved you then they would love you for who you are. If you were a gothic murderer then they should love you. If you ate sunshine and crapped rainbows then they should still love you! Nothing should affect the way they see you because you are their son. If they have a problem with it then they need to learn how to deal with it."

Sirius looked at me with a sense of growing respect. He's always grown up to his family preaching about how good of an heir he was, and what a great Slytherin he would make. The truth was he didn't want to become a Slytherin. He didn't believe in the same ideals his family did,mane he never told them because he couldn't find the confidence to stand up to them.

This girl–Alex–was saying all of the things he's always thought his family should have done. This strange girl who fell out of his fireplace, telling him all of the things he needed to hear in order to gain the confidence he needed to tell his family exactly what he thought about their Pureblood beliefs.

I was blind to the internal revelation that was taking place inside of Sirius' mind as I started telling him about myself. Things like me being nine as well, my favorite color was blue, french fries were my favorite food, and I didn't have a favorite animal. I had one in my first life, then it changed in my second, and I had yet to pick one for this life.

A sudden noise from beside his bed had the both of us shooting towards the other end in fright. Sirius unconsciously shifted a little bit in front of me in a protective gesture. I didn't notice because I was too busy staring in the direction of the noise, but if I had I would have melted at how adorable it was.

"Oh! Please forgive Mandy for scaring the little Master and Mistress!"

My eyes widened at the familiar squeaky voice, "Mandy?" Crawling to the edge of the bed I looked down to see Mandy, my houself, standing nervously in the middle of Sirius' bedroom.

"Little Mistress must come home! Mistress Palmer is frantic with worry!"

I blanched at the thought of mother being home when I was out. I'd completely forgot about her, and I didn't even leave a note to tell her I might not be there. "I'm sorry Mandy. I didn't know how to get back!"

Mandy's eyes widened at the apology (still not used to be ping apologized to by anybody), and I felt Sirius shuffle towards me. "You apologize to your houselves?"

I looked at him with furrowed brows, "Of course I do. They may not be human beings, but they're intelligent creatures that were using as a type of slave. They deserve a bit of recognition for what they're doing, and you can never go wrong with an apology. Besides," my eyes twinkled, "you get on an elfs good side and they can be a very advantageous best friend."

Sniffling came from Mandy, "Mistress Alex be Mandy's friend?"

I smiled softly, "Of course."

She squealed loudly, and with tears filling her eyes she launched herself across the room and wrapped her wiry arms around my throat in a choking hug. I choked from the pressure, but made no move to push her off. Instead settling on patting her back comfortingly.

Sirius noticed my increasing lack of air and tried pulling Mandy off, "Let her go you stupid elf, you're choking her!"

Mandy's arms immediately disappeared from my neck, and I took grateful gulps of air. "Oh Mandy is so sorry! She should have known! Stupid! Stupid elf!" She went over to the small desk beside the bed and started banging her head in the corner.

Sirius and I both lunged for her, "Mandy stop!"

I wrapped my arms around her middle while Sirius valiantly tried holding her thrashing arms against her body. "Mandy be's a bad elf!"

"No Mandy you're a wonderful elf!" I reassured her, "But if you don't be quiet right now we'll be in a shit load of trouble."

Mandy gasped, "Little Mistress should not be using such language!" Though after that she did stop struggling. We let her go so the three of us could stand in a triangle.

"How mad is mother?"

Mandy looked at me with her bulbous eyes. Her hands were wringing her new, cleaner pillowcase nervously, "She is worried cause she is not knowing where you are."

I nodded, but frowned, "How'd you know I was here then?"

Looking even more nervous Mandy snapped her fingers, and a familiar pouch fell into her hand, "Mandy finds this in front of fireplace, she did. She saw address slip inside and came to find yous."

I took the pouch from her hand and shoved it in my pants pocket, "You didn't tell mother where I was?"

She shook her head nervously, but I didn't care as I swept her up into my arms, "Mandy you wonderful little elf. I love you!" I felt completely relieved knowing my mother didn't know exactly where I was. Sure she was probably panicking really badly, but I wasn't sure how she would feel knowing I went through the Floo by myself to a prominent dark Pureblood family's house.

"Yous love Mandy?"

Setting her back onto the floor I nodded, "Yes I do." Tears welled up in her eyes, and I looked away to give her privacy.

Sirius' eyes met mine, and I saw his eyebrows were high on his forehead, "She seems pretty useful. Too bad our houself is an old grouch." He was frowning, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Are you nice to him?"

He grimaced at the thought, "Ugh, no. He hates me, but likes Regulus for some reason." At my confused look he elaborated, "My little brother. He's a year younger than I am."

I nodded at the information, sort of remembering how he had a brother a year younger than he was, "Wish I had a brother."

He grimaced again, "No you don't. I'd do anything to be an only child."

I shrugged, "It's not all it's cracked up to be. Gets pretty lonely."

Mandy's small hand suddenly grabbed onto mine. I looked down to see her anxious eyes staring up into mine, "We must be going!"

With a resigned sigh I nodded down to her, "Alright." Looking back up at Sirius I sent him a sad smile, "Seems like this is goodbye." From the way I said it it sounded as if I would never see him again.

Sirius must have interpreted it that way too because his eyes widened anxiously, "We'll see each other again right?"

I opened my mouth briefly to give him my answer, but it transformed into a smirk, "I think you can bet on it."

He smiled in relief, and held out a hand for me to shake. Rolling my eyes I stepped forward, my hand slipping out of Mandy's, and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. "I didn't get to know a little about you to be sent off with a handshake as a goodbye."

It was only a moment of hesitation before I felt his arms wrap around me as well. It seemed a little awkward, and I could only guess that he didn't get hugs often–if at all.

When I released him my fingers grabbed onto the end of the ribbon tying his hair back, and when I backed away his hair came free, brushing over his shoulders. "You look better this way," I commented with a critical eye, "more…carefree."

Grabbing onto Mandy's hand I waved at Sirius with the green ribbon between my fingers, "I'll owl you." I barely saw him nod before my surrounding disappeared with a pop.


	10. Chapter 10

_Writing_

* * *

When Mandy popped us back home it was to the complete darkness of the attic. At first I thought I had gone blind, but Mandy quickly reassured me I was alright. There was a rush of magic all over my body before I was popped out into the forest. Mandy instructed me to start walking home before popping away.

Not really knowing what just happened I started walking towards the house like Mandy told me to.

It was about ten minutes before the cottage came into sight, and a few moments after breaking through the tree line the front door burst open and mother cam flying through the door. Barney ran alongside her before easily taking her over.

He barreled towards me, but this time I was able to sidestep him. He flew right passed before scrambling back at a much slower pace than before. By the time mother reached me Barney was happily licking at my face with his paws on my shoulders.

Mother shoved him off of me before sweeping me into her arms, "Where have you been?" She pressed her mouth to my forehead for a long moment, "I was worried."

"Sorry mother," and I was because I knew the type of panic a mother goes through when their child is out of sight when they shouldn't be. "I was…" I remembered the forest, "checking out the forest. You hadn't been home, and I had nothing else to do."

Mother exhaled heavily, "Alright, just–leave a note next time so I know."

I nodded, "Of course."

We spent the rest of that night watching tv. It only worked because there were no wards around the house. The first TV we got ended up fizzing out from the magic mother used on it, and we had to get one delivered the mundane way.

The next morning I woke up before my mother (like always), and remembered telling Sirius I would write to him. I ripped out a piece of paper from the journal I used for spell ideas and used a mundane pen to write out the letter. I could live with parchment, but there was no way I would be using a quill and ink. Not even in Hogwarts.

 _Sirius,_

 _I told you I would write, so here you go. I'm not too sure what you expect to come from this. A pen-pal? I don't know, but you seemed pretty upset at the thought of me leaving, and since I'm not sure exactly how long it will be until I see you again I decided letters would be second best._

 _I do know one thing–I won't be flooding for awhile._

 _Lucky for me my mother doesn't know where I really was. Mandy used her elf magic to clean the soot off of me, and then brought me to the forest around my house. I used the whole "went for a walk" excuse._

 _Your pen-pal,_

 _Alex_

Hooter was more than happy to finally be sending letters to someone. It seems just letting him roam around the forest wasn't enough for the intelligent bird. He needed to have some sort of purpose, and sending mail was it.

Sending mail soon became a regular thing for me and Sirius. We found out a lot about each other through our letter, but unfortunately we hadn't seen each other face to face since my tumble through the Floo.

Our letter became such a common occurrence that I hadn't realized mother didn't know about it until she said something. "Who keeps sending you letters honey?"

I looked up from Sirius' most recent letter. His mother just realized he was sending regular letters to someone, and he didn't know what to tell her. It seemed I was in the same boat, "What?"

"I've noticed you've been getting letters every day now for the past week. I was wondering who they were from."

"Just…someone I met from Diagon Alley," I prayed to God mother wouldn't see through my lie. I didn't do it very often, so hopefully she wouldn't be able to tell the difference just yet.

Mother looked thoughtful, "Did you meet them when you insisted on going to Diagon alone?"

I remembered that day. I had finally gotten around to reading that Animagus book, and the information inside was so intriguing, a magic so amazing, that I knew I wanted to be an animagus. To be able to shift into an animal that represented my personality. The only problem with figuring out _what_ my animal was, was that I needed to make a potion.

Naturally I didn't want my mother to find out what I was doing. Considering I wouldn't be registering it was a very _illegal_ thing to do.

In order for her to not find out about anything I was doing I needed to go to Diagon Alley by myself, so I could collect everything required to find out what my inner animal was. It was actually a rather simple potion to make, but it was supposed to take several days.

All in all it was the perfect concoction to start testing my potion making skills.

"Yeah. I met him in the apothecary."

"He?" Mother waggled her eyebrows.

Had it been anyone else doing that to me I would have played along, but this was my mother. That made it disturbing, "Gross, mother."

She chuckled at me, "Go reply to your boyfriend."

Grimacing in disgust I left the dining room table to go up to my room. The messenger hawk followed me up to my room. Hooter was staying at Sirius' house to recuperate, so he sent his family bird instead. The hawk was rather intimidating, and both Sirius and I agreed to try and refrain from using him.

On my reply I told him my mother asked me as well, and my excuse was that we met in an apothecary in Diagon.

In his response letter he told me that he did not enjoy potions. Another thing he enjoyed rubbing into his family's face. As the heir to the Black family he was supposed to be prim, proper, good at everything. If there was something he didn't like then he kept it to himself instead of bothering somebody with his personal problems.

After my spontaneous visit it seemed he enjoyed taking every chance he could get to act out against his parents. He told me they hadn't understood what was going on at first, thinking he was ill, but healers had no diagnosis–saying he was just hitting a defiant stage in his life. A stage that's been lasting for about a year now.

Sirius took immense pleasure in telling me everything he's been doing to antagonize his family. He changed his rooms colors from silver and been to red and gold, put up posters of famous mundanes on his walls, and even began showing signs of his devilish pranking that he would exhibit in Hogwarts. Something I was looking forward to seeing for myself.

Something started feeling _real_ to me when Sirius said he met the Potter family. Charles and Dorea Potter who had a son named James. The day before their meeting Sirius confessed his worries about the boy being just another stuck up snob-in-the-making, and from what I could remember that definitely was not the case, and I wrote as much.

That "real" feeling turned out to be me realizing that, in less than a year, I would be going to Hogwarts. A magical school that was part of a fantasy story in _both_ of my previous lives. I might have felt different had I just been born with some sort of gene that gave me magical abilities. Even accept there being a school to help me develop them. But I'm in England about to go to Hogwarts with characters from films and books.

My life has become part of a fantasy story.

And I loved it.

Once I sent Hooter off with my latest letter I contemplated what I would do once I got to Hogwarts. I was pretty sure Sirius went into Gryffindor, where the Marauders would be born. But where would I go? Should I try to get into Gryffindor as well?

 _No_ , I decided, _I'll let the hat put me wherever he wants. As long as it isn't Hufflepuff._

From our letters I noticed Sirius had no idea I was living in Britain. I couldn't understand why at first until I remembered my accent was decidedly _not_ British. It was American with a French hint to it.

This also meant that he had no idea I would be coming to Hogwarts. I had yet to tell him otherwise, and I wasn't sure why I hadn't said anything yet. I was going to tell him in my last letter but decided against it. It would serve to be a nice surprise for him to see me again after several years apart.

I also haven't told him about my quest to become an animagus. He would become one later on anyway, so there was no need to rush him. Besides he was actually his age, so he could botch up his transformation _and_ the potion. Of course I could do it as well, but it wasn't as big a possibility.

When I finished my potion it looked exactly like it was supposed to, and I thanked my lucky stars it worked on the second try. The first time I added something too early and it blew up. Thankfully Mandy loved me and cleaned it all up.

When I took the potion my surroundings had immediately changed into an illusion. I had been wandering in the middle of the forest on four legs. I'd been pretty slow, sometimes stopping to dig into the dirt with my claws. My vision evaporated when my creature-self wandered up to a dark cave.

With a little research I learned I had been a bear of some kind. I didn't understand why until I started reading more about them. They could be considered as a symbol of rebirth. After that I thought it fit me rather well.

I also added any books I found about bears to my growing collection of reading topics. Mother thought I was an absolute genius. Reading and understanding everything I read. Though she doesn't know I can only understand them because of my technical age, and for all we knew I wouldn't be able to actually do the magic the books describe.

Of course by now I could wandlessly form a ball of light while I struggled to wandlessly loft anything. It seemed I had some trouble with charms. Once I got the feather to touch the ceiling I deemed it a success and moved on to a bit of transfiguration. So far my match had a wonderful silver shine.

Now I was waking up on my eleventh birthday. The age I would be eligible to go to Hogwarts. At first it was like any other day. I got my letter from Sirius first thing in the morning, fed Hooter and went downstairs to feed Barney.

Going downstairs was when things became different. Mother made me a special breakfast like she always does when it was my birthday. Chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream, strawberries, and sausage links on the side. Usually I didn't eat breakfast because I was never hungry, but I ate these for my mother. She liked making meals on my birthday. It gives Mandy a break.

When lunchtime came around my day became even better. A tawny owl with wild feathers pecked at the kitchen window. There was a letter clutched in his talons, and when mother opened up the window he flew inside and dropped the letter next to my plate. The owl didn't stay to wait for a reply letter before flying back out the window.

Blinking down at the letter in astonishment I carefully picked it up, and held it lightly between my fingers. Written in elegant script on the back of the envelope was my name, Alex S. Palmer, my bedroom, and the address of our cottage. Flipping it over revealed a wax seal of a shield with a lion, snake, badger, and raven surrounding the a capital H. Beneath it, on a banner, was the Latin phrase, "Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus".

It reminded me of the phrase engraved on mothers ring. That was Latin for "Know your strength, keep your courage". At least that's what it would be interpreted as. Definitely wasn't a direct translation.

"Well," mother commented when I was left staring dumbly at the wax seal, "aren't you going to open it?"

Closing my gaping mouth I meticulously cut through the seal and opened the flap. I took out the pieces of parchment and unfolded them.

 _Dear Ms. Palmer,_

 _We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

 _Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later then July 31._

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _Minerva Mcgonagall_

 _Deputy Headmistress._

The other piece of parchment was the list of all the school items I would need for the school year.

 _Uniform_

 _First-year student will require:_

 _ **Three sets of plain work robes (black)**_

 _ **One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear**_

 _ **One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)**_

 _ **One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)**_

 _ **Please note that all pupils clothes should carry name tags.**_

 _Course Books_

 _All students should have a copy of each of the following_

 _ **The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)** by Miranda Goshawk_

 _ **A History of Magic** by Bathilda Bagshot_

 _ **Magical Theory** by Adalbert Waffling_

 _ **A Beginners Guide to Transfigurarion** by Emeric Switch_

 _ **One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi** by Phyllida Spore_

 _ **Magical Drafts and Potions** by Arsenius Jigger_

 _ **Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them** by Newt Scamander_

 _ **The Dark Forces: A Guide Self-Protection** by Quentin Trimble_

 _Other Equipment_

 _1 wand_

 _1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)_

 _1 set of glass chrystal vials_

 _1 telescope_

 _1 set of brass scales_

 _Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad_

 _PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS_

I looked up from the pieces of parchment with excitement and apprehension written across my features, "It's my acceptance letter to Hogwarts."

Mother held out her hand in a silent request for the papers, and I readily handed them over. She took a few moments to look through everything before sighing, "It looks like a shopping trip is in order."

I smiled giddily, "I've already got a few of the books on that list."

Mother smiled as well, but she wasn't as excited as I was, "Alright. Now we just need _everything_ else."

I giggled, "The authors of the books have weird names."

"That they do," mother agreed. "Now why don't you go send them a response. We can get everything tomorrow."

Readily agreeing I raced up to my bedroom where I wrote a formal letter of acceptance with my pen and parchment. Slipping it into an envelope I set on writing a response for Sirius. It took everything in me not to write down about my acceptance to Hogwarts, still wanting to keep it a surprise.

"Here you go Hooter," I handed him Sirius' letter first before holding up my response for Hogwarts, "Drop this one off first. Give it to Minerva Mcgonagall at Hogwarts."

Hooter, well, hooted and held one letter in his talons and the other in his beak. He took off out the window and I watched him until he was well out of sight. The smile on my face widened. I was going to Hogwarts.

* * *

 **AN: This chapter went by super fast. She basically went from nine years old to eleven like that *snaps fingers*. On the plus side she'll be in Hogwarts by, I believe chapter 12. Next chapter is a trip to Diagon where a certain Dark Lord makes his presence known to the Wizarding World. Poor Alex.**


	11. Chapter 11

Mother made sure Mandy knew to let Barney out every few hours, and to make sure dinner would be ready for us for when we got back from shopping. It irked me because mother never seemed to say please or thank you. I always found myself doing it for her, and I knew Mandy was starting to get used to it because she doesn't burst into tears as often.

We apparated to the Alley, and I was very grateful we didn't have to go through the Floo. One botched up experience was enough, even if it did introduce me to my only friend in this life.

The first stop we made was Madam Malkins. We bought seven pairs of black robes and one casual, dark blue pair. Along with seven black ties, a name tag I would never wear, a pointy black hat I also would never wear, and dragon hide gloves.

Next we went into Flourish and Blotts to get all of my school required books I didn't have. Along with any others that caught my eye. There was also a shop that held quills and ink, but I adamantly refused to get any. There were parchment and journals I was more than happy to get, but I would stick to pens.

We got the pewter cauldron and brass scales from the apothecary. The telescope and crystal vials were found in other small shops, leaving my wand as the last item on the list.

I didn't have the best memory of what Ollivanders was supposed to look like, but it looked a little dusty on the outside. The inside proved much the same, only there were boxes upon boxes of wands decorating every available space of wall. Some were even in piles on the floor.

It was while mother and I were observing the shop that Mr. Ollivanders himself mysteriously appeared from behind some shelves.

"Ah, hello." We both jumped at the unexpected voice and turned to see an elderly man with white hair and glazed blue eyes. "I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with you two."

The sentence made me share an odd glance with mother. I took the initiative and stepped forward, "I'm here for my wand."

Ollivander nodded, "I figured. Come, come." He ushered me forward to stand on a small pedestal made with a wave of his own wand. Another flick sent a tape measure flying towards me to measure every inch of my body. Even my nose.

"What is your name my girl?"

I answered without taking my eyes away from the tape measure, "Alex Palmer."

He raised a white eyebrow, "Nothing else?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, this man seemed to know everything, "Alex Palmer-Winslow-Fox."

Ollivander nodded, "Strong families." He reached up to a shelf, and his hand hovered for a few moments before grasping a dusty box, "Every Ollivander wand has a powerful substance as its core. Unicorn hair, dragon hearstring. No two Ollivander wand is the same, just as no two unicorns or drag ins are the same. And, of course, you won't find a better wand."

He took the first wand out of its box, "7 inches, ash with a dragon heartstring core."

Taking the wand by the handle I didn't feel anything special. No kind of connection. I knew it wasn't a match when I waved it and a shelf of wands went flying to the floor.

Jerking backwards I hastily passed the wand back to Ollivander. He took it back with a "not that one", and went to find another box.

"Here," he pulled out another wand, this one a little longer, "8 3/4 inches, redwood, Phoenix feather core."

Taking the wand I went to give it a wave the same way I gave the other wand, but Ollivander plucked it out of my grasp before I had the chance to try it, "Not that one either."

He shuffled back into the shelves, flicking his own wand at the ones that fell to return them to their place.

It was a few minutes of waiting before Ollivander came back with one more wand. He opened the lid and handed it to me, handle first, "11 2/3 inches, oak wood with a veela hair core."

Carefully taking the wand I immediately felt a warm heat rush from my hand to the rest of my body. It was the same feeling I got when I used wand less magic, only ten times stronger. I could see why witches and wizards chose to use wands. It was easier than wandless.

With a simple flick of my wand I had blue and green sparks shooting out of the tip. _Third times a charm._

Both mother and Ollivander politely clapped, "A powerful wand. Good for transfiguration and defense."

He wrapped my wand back inside of its box, and when he handed it to my mother I decided to ask, "Do you have any wand holsters?"

Ollivander didn't look at all surprised at the question, "I do. I believe there might be one your wand can fit into for 11 galleons."

I smiled, "Yes please!"

Ollivander went back into his shop to find a dragon hide holster I could fit my wand into, and I looked back at my mother innocently, "I can have one right?"

She narrowed her eyes playfully, "I don't know…"

I beamed, "Thanks."

Ollivander returned from the back of his shop with a simple black holster, "That will be 18 galleons in total."

Mother handed over the money, and we left the dusty shop happily. I immediately strapped the holster underneath my blue sweater and inserted my oak wand. The feeling of finally obtaining a wand filled me with a bubble of warmth that made my hair turn neon green.

"Is there anything else you'd like to get before we head home?"

I briefly thought over the question. It was only about four o'clock, so dinner probably wouldn't be ready for another hour or two. "I wouldn't mind getting a broom."

Mothers eyebrows raised in surprise, "A broom?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "And maybe a quidditch set." I wanted to see what the game would be like.

Mother sent me a stern look, "First years aren't allowed their own brooms."

"Not at school," I pointed out. "It won't hurt anybody if I get one and use it until school starts. Then I can keep it here and use it during breaks." Mother sighed, but I knew she agreed with me, and we made our next stop the quidditch store.

There were a lot of children inside of the store, and the amount of people made it hard to get around the store.

I was getting ready to shove my way through the crowd when somebody bumped into me from behind, sending me to the floor. The act pushed me over the edge, and my hair changed to a vivid red. I wouldn't have been surprised if my eyes turned red too. "What is the matter with you!"

"You were the one in the way."

I spun around to yell at the boy face to face, but was met with the familiar grey eyes of my only friend, "Sirius?"

He looked at me oddly, "Do I know you?"

My chest ached a little at the possibility of him not remembering what I looked like. Of course it was very possible he didn't since I was covered in soot at the time. I smiled softly, "That's no way to treat a girl you know. Remember what I told you? You need confidence."

Now he was really looking at me weirdly, but I gave him a few more moments to think before his eyes widened in recognition, "Alex?"

My smile widened, "In the flesh."

His features contorted into a smile just like mine and he lifted me into a tight hug, "Alex!"

I stuttered through his name, trying to regain my breath, "S–Sirius!"

"Put her down, mate. She can't breathe with you holding her like that."

At the sound of the unfamiliar voice Sirius set me back onto the floor, and we both turned to see a messy black-haired boy staring at us with hazel eyes set behind a pair of round wire glasses. "James! This is my friend I was telling you about!"

James–and didn't that name ring a bell?–scrutinized me suspiciously, "She's a girl."

Sirius and I blinked at him owlishly. "Yeah…?" Sirius trailed off confusedly.

"But you said her name was Alex."

I crossed my arms, "So? Just because my name is Alex I have to be a boy?"

James narrowed his eyes at me, "It's a boys name."

"Fine then." I closed my eyes for better concentration, and when I heard twin gasps I knew it worked. Now instead of being eleven year old Alex Palmer I looked like a carbon copy of James. Just without the glasses.

I opened my eyes to see both boys looking at me with amazement. James most of all, but both breathed out, "Wicked."

"That explains why your hair was red instead of black," Sirius commented.

"What else can you do?" James asked eagerly.

I shrugged, "I can change my appearance into anything really. I'm still working on animals though." I smiled mischievously at him, "Are you okay with me being a girl?" For emphasis I made my hair into straight blue locks, and orange eyes.

James nodded with a wicked grin, "Yeah. I was just surprised anybody other than me could put up with Black," he jerked his head towards Sirius, "He's a handful."

"Oy!" Sirius exclaimed in mock-hurt, going so far as to put a hand over his chest, "I resent that."

"Besides," he continued as if he didn't hear Sirius at all, "he's constantly going on and on about you. 'Alex this', 'Alex that'." James' voice turned taunting, "I'd say he has a crush on you."

Sirius spluttered denials while I just smiled amusedly. You don't go through two life times without losing a bit of morals or modesty, "You think so?"

James nodded gravely, and Sirius' continued denials sent us into fits of laughter. He waited for us to stop laughing before glaring at us, but there was a twinkle of humor there that let us know he wasn't angry.

"So Alex," James moved the conversation forward, "what are you doing here in Diagon? You don't sound British."

"That's because I'm not British–" I wasn't able to finish my train of thought before a loud bang sounded from somewhere out in the streets. There were a few short screams while everybody else in the shop dropped into whispered mumbles. Everybody congregated towards the windows to see what was going on, but that plan was quickly shot when a green spell shattered one of the windows, spraying glass everywhere.

James, Sirius, and I all ducked down like everybody else. I was looking around with a lot more calm then other people. Even some adults. Though I had two adulthood a under my belt.

"What was that?" Sirius whispered.

I answered him, "A green spell broke the window."

James and Sirius were both a little wide-eyed. "Green?" James asked.

With furrowed brows I nodded, "Green."

More explosions sounded from outside, and screams started drifting in through the broken window, sending everybody in the broom shop into a panic.

Dozens of feet threatened to trample the three of us and I swore I heard someone calling my name, but I couldn't go off trying to find who was calling for me. I needed to get myself out of the dangerous situation I was faced with. Not to mention I had two other boys in danger next to me.

I changed my appearance to allow myself to pass as a seventeen year old boy, but I kept the blue hair and orange eyes. "Come on," now that I was tall enough I could swing one of the boys onto my back and lift the other into my arms.

I pushed my way out of the shop by going out the broken window. There was no point going through the door like a surprising amount of people were trying to do.

Seeing the lights of dozens of spells being cast from the wands of black robed people with white masks made me realize it might have been a better choice staying inside, but that would run the risk of getting trample on. Or at least James and Sirius getting trampled.

Sirius' voice whispered into my ear, making me realize he was the one on my back, and James was the one in my arms holding my neck in a death grip, "Alex what's going on?"

It hurt my heart to hear his voice filled with fear and confusion. I was confused and a little fearful, yes, but not on the level of an eleven year old. At that moment I was their rock, "The Alley is being attacked, and I have a hunch on who is doing it." If my memory was correct then those robed people were called Death Eaters, and the man orchestrating this was Lord Voldemort.

"I want my parents," James' shaky voice reached my other ear, and my heart ached for the two scared little boys I was now responsible for until this nightmare was over.

"Don't worry James," I soothed him as best as I could, "This will all be over before we know it, and then we can find your parents. Yours too Sirius." In response the two boys tightened their holds around my neck, and I was finding it harder to breathe.

I was running blindly–like everybody else–trying to find somewhere I could hide, or at least the boys could hide. It just crossed my mind how not a single spell had come near us, when a sickly purple light came speeding from the corner of my eye.

In reflex I dropped down onto one knee, and the purple light hit the side of a wall. I watched as it ate away at the wall like acid.

Twisting my head to find the source of the spell I saw one of the robed figured pointing his wand at the three of us. The tip of his wand started glowing a sickly green color, and my muscles tensed in preparation.

Sirius saw the man two and started crying questions into my ear, "Alex why aren't you. Moving?! Alex? Move! It's the killing curse!"

Barely registering the words Sirius was speaking I watched as the light left the wand before launching myself forward. It got us out of the way of the spell, and me back onto my feet.

"I need you boys to hide," prying James' arms from around my neck proved harder than I thought, but eventually I got both boys onto the ground. "Find an alleyway or something that you can hide in." My eyes never left the advancing Death Eater, and I hesitantly pulled out my wand.

James protested, "We can't leave you!" Sirius immediately agreed.

"You will do as I say!" In frustration I pointed my wand at the advancing Death Eater and shouted, "Stupefy!"

To all of our surprise the red spell shot out of the end of my wand, and the Death Eater redirected it with a simple flick of his wand.

Seeing such a powerful display had me worrying even more, and not just for my own health, "Do as I say, dammit!"

My shout had the boys reeling in shock, and they both scurried away with a final worried look. I didn't watch to see where they went, but I could only hope they made it somewhere safe.

The Death Eater made his way closer, "You should have run along with them."

I ignored the taunt and stayed silent, instead pointing my wand at the cloaked man, waiting for him to make the foray move.

He haughtily raised his wand, so sure that he would be able to easily take me out. That would be his downfall. "Crucio."

Sidestepping the red curse I also made a small step closer towards the man. I had to build some sort of surety before firing my own spell. I'd only ever preformed two.

"Stupefy. Rictumsepra." Both spells I dodged, and I took a step closer for both.

By now I had taken a deep breath, doing whatever I could to settle my nerves, and I pointed the wand for a second time, "Stupefy!"

Just like the time before that it worked, and also like before it missed. I hadn't wanted to try anything else in case it ended up not working on the first try like _Stupefy_ apparently did. Reading about a spell is a lot different then actually performing it.

Another _Crucio_ was dodged before I could take a relatively large step towards the man and thrust my wand in front of his face, "Lumos!" I knew for a fact this spell would work. Why wouldn't it when I could do it wandlessly?

The tip of my wand glowed a bright blue, blinding the unknown Death Eater. He brought up his hands to shield his eyes, and I took my chance to kick him in the stomach. I would have kicked him I the balls, but, well, I couldn't see them beneath all of those robes.

Like I had hoped for the man bent forwards in pain, and I pointed my wand at his head, "Stupefy." He dropped like a sack of potatoes.

I stood there, panting in exhaustion I didn't know I felt and fear for the fact that I just survived through the most dangerous situation in my entire lives.

"Alex!" Two small bodies rammed into me, one on each leg. I looked down to see James and Sirius looking up at me with amazement. "That was bloody fantastic!"

I chuckled at James' remark, "Well, as amazing as that was it may be best not to tell anyone about it."

They looked scandalized, "Why not?"

"Because nobody would believe an eleven year old girl took down a Death Eater in the form of a seventeen year old, blue haired boy, with her new wand."

Both boys pouted, and Sirius relented, "Alright."

Looking up I found my eyes scanning the chaos that was still going on. There were plenty of other Death Eaters still rampaging about the Alley, and it made me shake my head. There were more citizens than attackers. If they all just banded together and fought back we wouldn't be having a problem.

As I was mentally criticizing the actions of the running witches and wizards my eyes found a pair of red irises staring straight at me. They belonged to a tall man with very pale skin, thinned out features, and dark wavy hair. My eyes traveled down his black robed body to see a white wand held loftily in long, spindly fingers.

I looked back up into his crimson eyes. They were a rather unique color, and it took a moment for me to realize exactly who they belonged to. There's only one man with eyes like that.

"Boys," fear made my words get caught in my throat.

"Look James," I looked down to see both boys bent over the body of the Death Eater I'd taken out, "It's Lord Macnair."

Sirius gasped, and I filed the vaguely familiar name into the back of my mind before ushering the two away, "Boys we need to go. Now." Pointing my wand at the body it took me a few moments to get my jumbled thoughts in order so I could remember the right incantation. "Incarcerous." This time the spell didn't work on the first try, and after two more failed attempts I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. After holding it for a few seconds I let it out and tried again. To my great relief, ropes jumped out of my wand and wrapped around the downed man.

"Come on," grabbing onto the boys arms I tugged them away from the rather open area.

"What's wrong Alex?" James tried pulling his arm from my grasp.

"The man leading all of this is here right now. And he saw me."

Both boys stilled in my hands, but their legs thankfully kept them moving forward. "He saw you!?" Sirius sounded mildly hysterical.

His worry was not helping mine on any level, "Yes he did, so let's hide now."

We barely made it five steps before a green light went whizzing right passed my head. I ducked on instinct, and spun around, pulling the boys behind me protectively.

Standing there behind me with his wand held lightly between his fingers was the red eyed menace himself. He didn't have the snake visage like in the movies, but instead he still held a human like appearance. The only thing wrong with him was his red eyes, unnaturally pale skin, and his rather thin body figure.

"I applaud you," his voice held a power so great it wasn't hard to see why people joined him, "You took out one of my most loyal."

I said nothing. Choosing to do the same as I did with Macnair and stay silent.

"Not going to say anything?" I didn't do anything, but that was answer enough. "That's a shame. I would have loved to learn your name. You seem like a very powerful boy–much like I was in my youth." I sneered at the comparison. Not liking having any similarities with Voldemort.

He saw my disgust, "Now, now. No need to be like that. I could teach you, you know? How to be great. What people you should mingle with." Voldemort looked at the two boys wrapped around my legs, both petrified with fear, "Being seen with the heir of a bloodtraitor family, and the Black family's own troubled heir is most disgraceful."

I leached my jaw, but it couldn't prevent me from speaking. Thankfully I made sure my voice was a little deeper to sound like a boy's, and it had a more prominent French accent, "I'm afraid none of those things really matter to me. Though, if you think I should be hanging around the right crowd then you definitely aren't it."

He raised a humored brow, "Oh? And why not?"

I smiled without any meaning, "Because you're a liar. A _liar_ , Tom Riddle."

Voldemorts eyes flared in anger, and his nice façade melted away, "Where did you hear _that name_?!"

His reaction made me want to smirk, but fear held me back, "I don't think that's very important, seeing how you've changed it."

Voldemort sneered, "I think wrong, _boy_ ," he spat my name as if it would offend me, "nobody knows who I am."

Dozens of pops sounded throughout the alley, and men and women wearing red robes started taking out as many Death Eaters as they could. One even found Macnair.

There was one more pop that sounded from somewhere behind me, and both Voldemort and I looked back to see an elderly man in flamboyant robes.

My mind was trying to wrap around the fact that I was looking at the famous Albus Dumbledore, when the elderly mans twinkling blue eyes fell on the two of us. His white eyebrows rose a fraction at my appearance, and when he saw Voldemort his eyes dimmed considerably. His wise voice carries over to us, "Tom Riddle."

The name shook me out of my moment of speechlessness, and I turned to smirk at the red eyed man who was steadily growing angrier, "Seems I'm _not_ the only one who knows who you are."

His crimson eyes flashed onto me, and he angrily flourished his wand, " _Crucio_!"

The spell hit me before I could do anything about it, and I immediately felt thousands of white hot pain stabbing me at every available surface. Never before have I felt a pain this intense. Not even a stubbed toe could measure up to this.

What felt like hours later the spell was finally lifted off of me, and it felt like I could finally breathe again. Two blurry figures were hovering above my head, and I blinked my eyes to clear my vision and see Sirius and James looking at me with terrified eyes.

Absently trailing my eyes over to see why I was no longer feeling pain, I saw Voldemort was locked in a duel with Dumbledore.

The sight made me smile. Dumbledore was the only one that could hold his own against Voldemort. Him and Harry Potter, but he wasn't born yet.

I looked back up at the boys, "Are you alright?" My voice had a croaky tone to it.

James snorted, "You're asking if we are alright?" He looked up at Sirius, "Your friend is crazy." His comment had us both chuckling. Too scared or in pain to do much else.

Another spell passed above us, and I got onto my elbows to try and find who had sent it, but nobody seemed to be looking over at us. The spell must have been a stray.

"Come on boys," I slowly got onto my hands and knees before shakily making it onto my feet. A few of my joints cracked, but they didn't hurt that much. "We need somewhere to lay low."

We eventually found an alley we could hide in, and I deemed it safe enough to change back into my eleven year old self.

"Are you alright Alex?" Sirius was looking at me with worried eyes.

I smiled gratefully, touched at both of their worry, "I'm fine you guys, don't worry."

"You're pretty cool, you know that?" James asked rhetorically. "Sirius might have been your friend first, but that just means you're mine too." He stuck out his hand, "James Potter."

I grasped it tiredly, "Alex–"

"JAMES!"

The three of us jumped at the frantic yell, and we cautiously looked out of the alley to see the Death Eaters and Voldemort were gone. Now parents were trying to find their lost children so they could go home.

"JAMES POTTER!"

James winced, "That's mum."

I chuckled, "Don't worry James. If anything she's more worried than angry." I know I would have been if I got separated from my children in all that chaos. "Go out and get her before she breaks a lung."

We left the alley and slowly made our way towards the frantic mother. James was yelling back to try and get her attention, but he wasn't quite loud enough.

It wasn't until a male voice from behind us yelled out to the woman, "Dorea I found them!"

We spun around to see a man with kind hazel eyes and messy dark brown hair looking down at us with such a heavy amount of relief it was nearly suffocating. "James," he pulled the boy into a string hug, and lifted him off of the ground.

Being coddled in such a way in front of his two friends had him struggling against his fathers hold, but I could see the tension drain from his body.

"James," the woman finally joined us, and I could put a face to the name Dorea. She had aristocratic features, black hair that was tied up into a bun, and dark grey eyes. "Oh, James." She joined the hug and Sirius and I were left to stare at the reunited family awkwardly.

"So," I tried making conversation, "Where's your family?"

Sirius grimaced, "They probably left when they had the chance."

I grimaced as well. In our exchanged letters I could tell his home life had become increasingly harder. Especially now when they finally realized his acts of rebellion aren't just a stage he's been going through, but actual rebellion to their way of life and thinking.

"Don't worry Siri," I threw my area over his shoulders, "you can always stay at my place for the night and send a letter."

He raised his eyebrows, "'Siri'?"

I shrugged sheepishly, "It's shorter than Sirius."

Our conversation got cut off, "Sirius! You're okay too!" He got dragged into a crushing hug as well, and James watched smugly from the sidelines. Happy he wasn't the on,y one his mother was smothering.

"And who's you're friend?" The man asked James and Sirius inquiringly.

"That's Alex!" James informed him excitedly, "And she took down a Death Eater all by herself!"

The adults looked surprised and worried. "Oh?" Dorea commented.

Sirius nodded in affirmation, but then he grew worried, "And she also faced that Voldemort guy."

Dorea and the man–who must have been her husband–stiffened at the information. Dorea's mothering instinct kicked in, "Are you alright honey?"

I nodded, but the boy both shook their head negatively. "She got hit with a crucio mum," James bit his lip, "She was screaming a lot too."

I shielded my eyes behind a curtain of smokey black hair. "It wasn't that bad," I mumbled with a shrug.

A sharp gasp told me otherwise, "I don't think so." A woman's hand gently grabbed onto my wrist, and when she held it out I saw my own hand was shaking slightly. "You could have possible nerve damage."

I tugged my arm from her hand, "Do you know how to fix it?"

The man answered me, "St. Mungos will have a potion you can take."

I grimaced, "Anything else?" After dying and being reborn in hospitals you get a little tired of them.

All four of them chuckled, and James responded, "Mum's a healer, she could give you the potion."

Dorea nodded after a bit of thought, "I could, but we have to find her parents first."

"Oh, um," I bit my lip, "just my mother, actually."

Sirius knew the real reason for me saying that while the adults seemed to realize there was a story behind that excuse. Thankfully they didn't say anything, and James was obvious as ever.

"What's your mother's name dear?"

"Meredith Palmer."

"Alright," Dorea silently held out her hand, and after a moments consideration I took it. James was holding onto his fathers hand, while Sirius walked beside me. Our hands brushed together in silent reassurance to let the other know we were there, and we were okay.


	12. Chapter 12

It was an hour before we finally found my mother. Completely panicked and yelling my name, much like Dorea had been doing for James. When we finally saw each other she broke out into a run and swept me into her arms. I allowed her to hug me and kiss my hair without a struggle. I'd have done the same if I were in her shoes.

Mother looked at the Potter's with tearful eyes, "Thank you."

The elder Potter's smiled. "It was no trouble," assured Dorea. "If anything we should be thanking your daughter." They all looked at me–mother with confusion.

All the attention made me bite the inside of my cheek and hide behind a curtain of pink hair. Having changed color from my embarrassment. "I didn't do much, really."

"I think you did quite a bit," commented the elder male Potter. "Enough to need a hospital."

"What?" Mother turned worried eyes onto me and started looking for any visual wounds.

Dorea walked up and calmly laid a hand on my mothers shoulders, "She'll be alright Lady–Palmer?"

Mother tore her eyes from me to look at Dorea, "It's Ms. Palmer, but just Meredith is fine."

Dorea smiled, "Meredith. Your daughter will be just fine, but she does need medical attention. The boys say she was hit by a Cruciatus curse."

Mothers arms tightened around me, "What?"

"Don't worry about it mother," I tried to reassure her, "Lady Potter said she could help me."

She nodded, "Alex didn't seem to like the idea of St. Mungos, so I offered my assistance."

Mother agreed, "She never did like hospitals."

"Can we go now mother?" I laid my head on her shoulder, finally feeling the effects of what went on today. "I'm tired." Holding up my hand for me to see I saw my fingers were shaking. No doubt from the…torture.

The thought made me cringe. I was actually tortured today, by none other than Lord Voldemort himself.

"Charlus could you take the boys?" I now finally had a name for the other Potter.

"Yes. Come on boys," Sirius and James grabbed onto Charlus' hand, and they disappeared with a crack.

Dorea grabbed onto my mothers shoulder, "Monty."

A pop sounded from the ground, "Yes Mistress?"

"Please take Ms. Palmers things to the manor."

I looked down to see all the shopping bags from our trip had fallen to the ground when mother picked me up. Only a second later they disappeared with a soft pop.

"I shall side apparate you."

Mother nodded and slipper her arm into Dorea's. We soon followed after the boys with a loud crack.

When we reappeared it looked like we landed in some sort of foyer. "Right this way." Dorea started walking off in a seemingly random direction, and mother had no choice but to follow.

Usually I would be wide awake at this time of night, but I was so tired. My eyes were drooping, and mother had to shake me a couple times to keep me awake. Each time I grumbled at her, but I knew I needed to be awake to take this potion.

Dorea led us into some sort of potions room. There were all sort of colored liquids lined up along the shelves, I was surprised she knew which one she needed.

It was a soft pink color, and I thought it would taste like bubble gum, but I was wrong. It tasted like old gym socks.

The experience was less than fun, but I knew I needed to take it, so I chugged it as fast as I could to try and skip over the taste.

When the vial was empty I handed it back towards Dorea with a grimace, "Wasn't there anything better tasting?" My hair was green from the experience.

Dorea chuckled, "I'm afraid not."

Before mother could pick me back up into her arms I jumped off of the table I had been siting on, "Thank you for the potion Lady Potter."

She smiled at me as mother took my hand in hers, "Just Dorea is fine, Alex."

"I'm afraid it's time for us to get back home."

I sighed, but agreed with my mother. I needed to go lie down and take a much needed nap.

Dorea started for the door, "I'll show you out. Of you'd like to apparate then you'll need to cross the wards. If you want to use the Floo then we have a fireplace you can use."

Mother took a moment to think about it, "Floo will be fine."

My body shuddered at the reminder of my last experience. Mother noticed, and when she looked down at me I looked up with an innocent smile, "If it's anything like apparition I'm walking home."

Both women laughed at my declaration, and Dorea answered for me, "I'm happy to tell you it's not quite like apparition. Though if not done right it can be very unpleasant."

 _Yeah, I knew that_ , I thought to myself.

"Alex!"

Two blurs shot towards me from down the hallway and latched onto my body, sending the three of us tumbling to the floor. The black haired blur had his arms wrapped around my neck, while the one wearing glasses was wrapped around my torso.

"You're okay now right?" Sirius asked. His voice was muffled from his face being pressed agains my neck.

"I'm fine," I wheezed out," but I would be better if you two weren't trying to break me." They immediately let me go, and I slowly pushed myself off the ground.

Charlus had apparently joined our group, and all of the adults were looking at us with amusement.

"Sorry Alex," Sirius scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, "We were worried."

I dusted off my clothes, "I could tell."

James sniffed, "I wasn't worried."

Sirius looked at his friend with raised brows and mischievous eyes, "No?" James looked at him warningly, but Sirius ignored him. "You weren't pacing your room trying to pull out your hair?"

I looked at James' hair, and sure enough it looked messier than before. I smiled, "Thank you for worrying James."

"Alright you two," Dorea sounded amused, "Alex needs to get home now so she can rest. She's had a long day trying to protect the two of you."

Both boys looked mock offended, "We were angels Mrs. Potter."

Charlus and Dorea smirked at Sirius' remark. "I'm sure you were," Charlus agreed.

"Say your goodbye's Alex," my mother commented. "We've gotta get home. No doubt Mandy's sick with worry," Mother smiled at this. She knew Mandy and I were fairly close.

"Who's Mandy?" Sirius asked, confused, "Is she your friend? I thought I was your friend?" His question didn't hold any mocking. He was honestly confused.

"What?" I started to tease him, "I can't have other friends?"

"Well no, it's just," Sirius seemed a little flustered, "you never mentioned any."

"It's okay Sirius. You're right, you're my only friend. Well," I looked at James, "unless you're my friend now too?" I felt like such a child. Talking about who's my friend.

James pursed his lips, but eventually nodded, "Yeah I guess."

"Then you're my first friend," I looked back at Sirius, and he seemed pleased about something. "But I'll probably make more friends once I head off for school." Sirius seemed downtrodden at this. "Oh don't be like that! You'll make more friends too you know."

"You'll still write to me when I'm at Hogwarts right?" He seemed honestly worried that I wouldn't.

"Of course I will." I stepped forward and hugged him for goodbye. "See you later Siri." Letting him go I walked up to James, but he knew what I wanted to do.

"No," he started backing up, and I gained a predatory grin, "No!"

I pounced on him, and I got my arms wrapped around his back before he could push me away, "Bye James!"

"Ugh, get off!"

I squeezed him as he continuously tried to push me away by my face, "Let me love you!"

"Eugh!" I finally let James push me away from him, "Gross!" He started wiping the front of his clothes, "Girl cooties."

I chuckled and stuck out my tongue, "You're the one acting like a girl. Getting grossed out by imaginary germs."

"I am not acting like a girl!" James denied hotly.

I shrugged, "Keep telling yourself that." Walking up to mother I grabbed onto her hand, "Ready to go." Then I turned to the elder Potters, "Thank you for helping me."

"It's the least we could do," Charlus smiled, and Dorea kneeled down to hug me, "We should be the ones thanking you. You saved our son."

I patted her back lightly, and the woman stood back up to continue leading us towards their fireplace.

The flames inside were already green, and all we had to do was throw in the Floo powder.

"Now remember," Dorea told me sternly, "You have to keep your mouth shut, or else you'll swallow the ash."

I heard a snort originate from where Sirius was standing, and I glared over without any heat. My hair as pink as my cheeks.

Mother let me go first, and I took a pinch of powder before stepping into the green flames. "What's our address?"

"Palmer House."

I smiled, "Like the hotel?"

Mother smiled, "Like the hotel."

Throwing down the powder I pronounced as clearly as I could, "Palmer house." Just like my last jaunt through the fireplace it was very dizzying, but I kept my mouth shut this time and didn't choke on any stray ashes.

* * *

 **AN: This one was much shorter than the last one, but I just needed to get Alex back with her mother before going off to…Hogwarts! Yes, I think I shall send her off in the next chapter.**


	13. Chapter 13

Five long months have gone by since the incident in Diagon Alley, and I haven't seen Sirius or James since then. Sirius and I have still been sending each other letters, and I wondered if that would just stop once we got to Hogwarts.

I would be finding out the next day because mother and I were on our way to Kings Cross station and I was vibrating on my seat.

Mother laughed at me, "Calm down, honey. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were excited to leave me."

I sighed, "Mother you know that's not why I'm excited."

She sighed, "I know Alex. But my baby is still leaving me for ten months!" Mother parked the car at the station, and popped the trunk.

"It's okay mother," I grabbed Hooter from the backseat while mother grabbed my trunk. "I'll be back during holidays as well, so it won't be a _full_ ten months."

Mother rolled her eyes at that, "Smartypants."

I chuckled and we both set off to find Platform 9 3/4. It took a few minutes to get there, and a few minutes to find just where the platform was supposed to be. It was only when we saw somebody walk through a brick pillar that I remembered how to get there.

"That three quarters part makes a little more sense now," I nodded in agreement to my mother's comment.

Hesitantly pushing my luggage cart towards the wall I broke out into a jog to gain speed and to get this over with quicker. I wanted to close my eyes, but I didn't want to accidentally push my cart off course. So I watched as the very solid looking bricks came closer and closer.

In the end, right when my cart would have hit the wall, I shut my eyes and waited for the impact that never came.

When I reopened my eyes there was a large red steam engine sitting on the tracks while hundreds of people were bustling on the platform. Families were hugging each other goodbye, and children were waving from their compartment windows.

A hand dropped onto my shoulder, "Well sweetheart," I looked up to see my mother looking down at me with a watery smile, "I guess it's time for you to go."

I smiled up at her reassuringly, "It's alright mom, I'll be back before you know it." She smiled at the name.

Mother bent down onto one knee and drew me into a tight hug. Her face was buried in my hair, and I felt her kiss my head a few times. When she pulled away she kissed me on the forehead and pet her hand down my smokey hair, "You'll write everyday."

I rolled my eyes, "I'll write to you tonight, okay?" After giving her one more hug I grabbed the handle of my trunk in one hand, and Hooters cage in the other. Mother put a featherlight charm on my trunk, and it made it easier for me to lug it up the steps of the train and pull it down the hallway between the compartments.

It took me two trips going up and down the train to find an empty compartment. It was near the front of the train, but I didn't mind it. I could set my trunk on the rack above the window and stretch out across the seats.

Hooter reminded me of his existence by hooting, and I opened the door to his cage so he could flap onto the seat. His eyes stared up at me in boredom. "Do you want to just fly to Hogwarts?"

True to his name he hooted at me.

"Alright, but I'm going to write Sirius a letter first." I received my usual letter from him that morning, and I had to send him my response. He wrote about how excited he was to be going to Hogwarts, and that he wished I would be going as well. He also confessed about his worries over what House he would be placed into.

Pulling down my trunk I took out a sheet of parchment and a pen. I told him how happy I was for him to be going to Hogwarts, and that I hoped we would get to see each other soon. In response to his worries I told him not to think about what his family wanted him to do. This was his decision to make, and his parents shouldn't have to be influencing him on it.

I tucked it into an envelope and taped it closed, "Give this to him after the sorting. Before he goes to bed." Hooter took the letter in his beak, and I opened the window for him to begin his long trek towards Hogwarts.

I smiled at the memory of when Sirius sent me his first letter. Apparently he laughed at me taping the envelop closed instead of using some fancy seal.

A soft knock sounded at the door of my compartment, and I turned to see two people my age, a boy and a girl, standing in the doorway.

The girl spoke up first, "Could we sit with you? Everywhere else is full."

I looked outside to see the platform was nearly empty, "Yeah, come on in." Grabbing onto my trunk I easily lifted it onto the rack.

"Whoa, you're pretty strong!"

I smiled amusedly at the girl, "There's a featherlight charm on it."

She blushed as red as her hair, "Oh."

"Do you need any help getting yours up there?" I looked between the two, and the boy just gave me a small sneer before lifting his own trunk. When I glanced at the girl her eyes held an apology for who I assumed to be her friend.

"Could you help me? I have a lot of books in here, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to lift it. Those stairs were hard enough!"

I chuckled along with the girl and took a step closer to help her with her trunk. We both grabbed a handle and went to lift it, but it only went up about an inch before thumping back onto the ground.

"Good lord," I panted, "it's heavier than mine." My trunk held every book I owned, but thanks to the bottomless compartment it took off most of the weight.

The girl blushed, "I know. Sev had to help me get it onto the train. We made quite the sight."

I laughed at the image, "I bet! Here," I waved my hand and my wand jumped into my hand. With a simple gesture I had the trunk slowly levitating up to the rack above.

When it was settled I looked at the other two and found them staring. She was staring at me with her mouth gaping open, and her friend "Sev" had amazement in his eyes. He was already building a mask, so he was able to keep his mouth closed.

"What?" I realized I cast the spell wordlessly. When I came home from Diagon I started messing with my wand and found that whatever I could do wandlessly came much easier with a wand. After a few tries I could even get it wordlessly. The spells I couldn't do wandlessly were the ones I couldn't do wordlessly. I figured I could become a fairly formidable opponent if I continued practicing wandless spells and then learned to do them wordlessly. "I just did some magic."

"But you didn't say anything!" The girl exclaimed.

I shrugged, "I didn't need to. Technically nobody _needs_ to say anything. Just think about your accidental magic. That was done wordlessly _and_ wandlessly."

Realization was in their eyes, and I smiled at them. I wasn't scared to show off my wordless spells, but I would keep my wandless abilities to myself. It would stay as my own secret weapon. Like my animalistic ability–which was coming along pretty nicely. I've memorized where all of their organs are in their bodies.

"I'm Alex Palmer," I held out my hand to the girl first. She was sitting next to her friend in the seat across from me.

She shook it happily, "Lily Evans."

The name was familiar to me, and that let me know that she was most likely an important character in the Harry Potter series. I didn't necessarily remember why, just that she was. I examined her features to see if anything would bring up previous memories.

She had wavy red hair–and it wasn't the orange-red kind of hair. It was a pretty red, like a fire truck, and it had darker red highlights. Her eyes were also a peculiar shade of green. They were like two emeralds that sparkled with childish innocence and happiness. She would be beautiful when she grew older.

"And what about you?" I looked at her darker friend. He was almost her polar opposite. Eyes such a dark brown they appeared black, pale skin, and black hair that looked a little greasy at the roots.

"Severus Snape." His name was familiar as well, but I remembered a little more about him. Like the fact he loved Lily.

The train suddenly jerked forward, and we looked out the window to see the many mothers and fathers waving to their children. I picked out my own mother and Lily and I leaned out the still open window to wave ask. I thought I saw a tear roll down my mothers cheek, but I couldn't be sure.

"So," I commented as I re-took my seat, "what shall we talk about?" Severus said nothing as he pulled out a potions book and began reading.

Most people might have been a little offended, but I just snorted at the move. I've had worse things done to me.

"I'm sorry about Sev," Lily apologized with a stern look to her friend. One that went ignored. "He's just nervous."

He shot her a glare that was rather menacing for a boy his age, but Lily brushed it off so easily I wondered how long they'd been friends for.

"Why so nervous?" I myself wasn't too nervous. I was ready to learn anything Hogwarts had to offer.

"Well, Sev and I are worried we won't be put into the same house."

I nodded. That would be a worry for two friends. I had wondered about whether or not Sirius and I would be in the same house, but I wasn't sure. "What house do you want to be in."

She smiled proudly, "Slytherin."

I stared at her with wide eyes before huffing in amused disbelief, "Slytherin? Why?"

Lily frowned at me, "It's a good house."

"I never said it wasn't," I reassured her. "I was just surprised because Slytherin doesn't have the best reputation."

"That doesn't matter," Lily immediately brushed it off.

"Lily you know that Slytherin has basically become a house for purebloods."

Now Severus was frowning as well, "Why should you care? Palmer isn't a pureblood name."

I sighed irritably, "I know it's not," _though Winslow and Fox are_ , "I'm just saying that Slytherin is known as the darker house for a reason. I'm not telling you to go into another one, I'm just saying to watch out. Purebloods are all interconnected, and they all pretty much know each other before going into the house. Neither Evans or Snape are pureblood names so you two could be targeted by the others."

Lily was still frowning, but she nodded anyway, "Thank you, but we're still going to try for Slytherin."

I chuckled with an easy going grin, "I don't doubt Severus could get into Slytherin. He's got the personality to be one." He glared at me and I just smiled at him, because he pretty much proved my point. "It's you I'm worried about," I looked at Lily.

She looked confused, "Why?"

"Because Slytherin is the house of ambition and cunning. Some say it's a for the darker sort. But when I look at you the first thing I think of is…warm. Caring."

Lily seemed disappointed to hear this, "What about Sev?"

I looked over at Severus and analyzed him as best as I could, "Cold. Maybe a loner. He has a much better chance of getting into Slytherin."

"And what house do you plan on getting into?" Severus spoke without looking up from his book. Though from the lack of eye movement he wasn't even reading it.

"I'm either going to be in Ravenclaw or Slytherin."

Severus sneered, "More like a Hufflepuff."

I snorted, "Please. With a name like Hufflepuff I'm surprised anybody wants to be in that House. Not to mention I can't even hear the name without waiting to laugh at it."

"Besides," I added, "Hufflepuff House is all about loyalty and hard-working. I can be loyal to my family and best friends, and I suppose I can be hard-working when it comes to learning magic. But that would belong to a more studious category that belongs to Ravenclaws."

"Why not Gryffindor? That sounds like a good house," Lily asked.

I thought about it, "Gryffindor is for the brave and courageous so…not as much as Ravenclaw. I have my brave moments," I thought about Diagon five months ago, "but I'd rather avoid dangerous situations than be brave and run into them."

Lily sighed, "I guess we'll just have to see what happens."

I agreed, "True. And whether or not we get put in the same House we'll stay friends." I looked between the two eleven year olds that I hoped to befriend. "I can consider you two to be my friends, right?"

My worries were dashed when Lily beamed at me, "Of course we can be friends! And when we're put in Slytherin we'll stick together."

I sighed, but nodded anyway. I doubted there was any chance for Lily to get into Slytherin. She was too nice. The others would eat her alive.

There was a sudden commotion outside of our compartment door before it was suddenly flung open. The three of us looked to see what was going on but three bright flashes obscured our vision.

I shut my eyes against the light, and I waited until the lights died down before re-opening them. When the purple spots disappeared I realized somebody was laughing. And quite hysterically.

Furrowing my brows in confusion I looked up at Lily to see that she was completely bald. Her eyebrows, eyelashes, and red hair were completely gone. A single glance at Severus showed he had the same problem, and feeling the top of my head revealed I was bald as well.

My eyes darkened with anger, and I saw Lily look at them in fright. By the level of anger I was feeling they had most likely turned black.

I've had my fair share of pranks pulled during my College days, but I never messed with another girls hair. You never, _ever_ , touch a girls hair. Whether you dye it, cut it, whatever. And–I looked at the people who were laughing–these _boys_ shaved it _off_.

I slowly rose from my seat, "You _bastards_." The four looked up at me, and I realized two of them were Sirius and James. But I didn't care, oh ho I didn't care in the slightest. "You never touch a girls hair. _Ever_." They just grinned at me, and it fueled my anger. "If you ever do this to me again I will _rip your dicks off and shove them down your THROATS!_ "

They finally started looking frightened, realizing they messed with the wrong girl. It pleased me more than it should have. "Now, will one of you tell me how to fix this?"

Sirius and James stayed silent, so I looked to the other two. The shortest one had baby blue eyes, and dirty blonde hair. He was looking at me with absolute terror, and I knew he would be no help to me.

The other boy was the tallest out of all of them. He had sandy brown hair with the most striking hazel eyes. He also had a few curious scars. One on his nose, and another on his chin. They were both small, but noticeable. "Can you please tell me how to undo this?"

The boy relaxed now that I was no longer yelling, "I think a finite incantatum will work. Though I don't know the spell. You'll have to get a teacher at Hogwarts to do it."

I nodded, "Thank you," and shut the door.

Taking a deep breath I forced myself to calm down, and when I re-opened them they were back to their blue/brown color.

"Well," I sighed as I went to my trunk, "that was interesting."

I heard a sniffle and turned to see Lily ready to cry, "I'm going to be bald for my first day in Hogwarts, I'll be a laughingstock!"

Severus sneered, but I could tell he was a little upset about the idea as well. No doubt he would get put into Slytherin and they would hold this against him for the rest of his schooling days.

"Don't worry guys," I opened my trunk, then went into the bottomless compartment to find the right book, "we'll take the charm off."

After a few moments of digging around I heard Lily's transition from crying to anger. Her face was as red as her hair, and she looked ready to blow a gasket, "What is the matter with them?! They thought this kind of thing was funny? That was bullying!"

"It was Sirius Black, James Potter, and two other boys I don't know," Severus and Lily looked up at the new information. "Sirius and I are actually close friends, and I met James a few months ago, and became friends with him too."

"They're your friends, and they did this to you?" Lily sounded horrified.

I shrugged. My moment of anger now gone. "They don't know I'm here."

Severus sneered, and I assumed it was an expression he used often, "They're your friends, and they don't even know you're here?"

Taking out a book I started flipping through the pages, "I never told them I was coming. I'm sure you both have noticed my accent?" I looked over at them to see them nod. I had to hold back a laugh because they looked so ridiculous being bald. The humor was obvious when it happened to others.

"It's rather odd," Lily mused, "I've never heard it before."

"My mother and I moved here from America. I accidentally met Sirius, and we've been sending each other letters ever since. The thing is, he also noticed my accent and assumed I wouldn't be going to Hogwarts. I don't really know why he did. Maybe he thinks I still live in America and that I'm going to an American school." I shrugged, "Who knows."

Scanning the page of the book I was holding I found the spell, and took out my wand to practice the wand movements.

"What are you doing?" Lily was looking at me oddly–as was Severus.

"I'm going to get our hair back, now hang on."

Sitting down I pointed my wand at Lily, "It might take me a few tries, but I think I can get it."

Moving my wand in the correct sequence I said the spell (finite), but nothing happened. After one more failed attempt I tried for a third time, and watched as red hair burst off the top of her head and grow to her shoulder blades. Her eyebrows and eyelashes also grew back.

Lily grabbed handfuls of her hair and brought it in front of her face, "Yes! Thank you Alex!"

"Don't mention it. It's just another useful spell," pointing my wand at Severus I watched as his hair grew back as well. His even lost the previous greasiness.

"What about you?" I looked into Lily's questioning eyes and opened my mouth to tell her I could just grow it back but stopped.

"Oh yeah," pointing my wand at my head I paused to wonder why I didn't tell them before shrugging. I guess it would be something between Sirius, James, and I. "Finite," I could feel my hair growing out of my head, and it was a very odd experience.

Lily couldn't stop touching her hair for the rest of the train ride, and Severus continued reading while Lily and I Had occasional conversations. Whenever it went silent I started reading the book I was currently on. It was about magical creatures, and I was on the last chapter.

I just grabbed onto the next book I wanted to start reading when Lily commented, "We should probably change into our robes now. We'll be at the station soon."

Trading my book for a pair of robes I automatically began changing. My jeans and sweatshirt was replaced with a white button down shirt, a black robe, black flats, and black sweatpants. At first it was a grey skirt, but my life as a guy changed my taste on clothes.

Fastening my tie I closed my trunk and took a seat on the bench. I saw Lily and Severus both awkwardly looking at anything but me. Apparently my lack of modesty affected them.

"We'll go on," my tone was saturated with amusement, "get changed."

Lily and Severus looked at each other, and Severus' blush went from light pink to dark red. It seemed his crush started early.

The two of them did end up changing in the compartment at the same time, but they were as far away from each other as possible and they wouldn't look at each other for the rest of the ride.

The comm. system told all of the passengers to leave their trunks on the train. I had no trouble following this, and I led the three of us out of the compartment and onto the platform. From there I had no clue where to go until a loud voice called for all first years. We looked, and our eyes widened at the sight of a giant of a man holding an extremely large lamp.

The sight of this man sparked something in my memory, and I know this man also played some part in Harry Potter's life. Harry seemed to know a lot of people.

The large man, who introduced himself as the gamekeeper, Rubeus Hagrid, told us we would be riding across the Black Lake in small boats.

Without much of an option we followed Hagrid towards the tiny wooden boats. "No more 'n four to ah boat!"

Lily, Severus, and I all climbed into our own boat. We waited for everybody else to find one before they automatically slid from the ground and sailed across the lake. I looked over the edge to see that the boats were moving without anything pushing or pulling them.

"Look," Severus gestured to another boat with his chin, "it's your friends."

Lily and I looked up to see Sirius and James rocking their boat. The sandy haired boy was gripping the edge while rolling his eyes, and I knew he would be a good friend for those two. The other looked ready to pee himself.

"Oh," I sighed, "To bad I don't know any breaking spells." Lily gave me an odd look, but I just shrugged. Though there was one thing I could try.

Taking out my wand I pointed it at the water beside the boys boat. Giving it a little wave I watched as a ball of water slowly rose from the lake. It got higher and higher, and I nudged it over before dropping it.

I hid my wand and watched as the ball of water broke over the boys heads. James and Sirius stilled in their rocking motions, and the hazel eyed one watched them with amusement, while the other was too surprised to do anything.

From beside me I heard Lily begun laughing, and that gained everybody else's attention. When they noticed the state of the two boys they began laughing as well. Even Severus let out a chuckle or two.

The two boys looked around to see who could have possibly pulled something over them, and they saw the three people they pranked earlier that day. Their hair had grown back, which meant on of them must have been able to preform a _Finite_. The black haired boy was looking at them with sick amusement, and James and Sirius both silently vowed that they would get the little sneak back.

"Duck!"

Everybody turned at Hagrids voice, and saw a large rock formation coming out of the lake. They immediately ducked so as not to hit their heads, but I noticed something.

"Alex!" Lily hissed my name, "Duck, or you'll hit your head!"

"Don't be ridiculous Lily," I crossed my arms, "The rock isn't even that low." As proof i stayed sitting up, and when we passed under the rock my head was still a good foot from hitting it. "Hagrid has to duck because he's a giant. He just automatically assumed we needed to too." Lily and Severus slowly sat up, and realized I was right.

When all of the boats escaped from beneath the rock we all saw the most breathtaking scene. I had seen many beautiful things, but this is one of the few times one has taken my breath away.

It was Hogwarts castle, seven floors of absolute magic with every window glowing with orange light. It's reflection was mirrored in the very lake we were crossing over. It was absolutely picturesque, and I knew I needed to find a way to store this memory forever.

The boats made their way towards the shore, and docked in front of a set of stone stairs that led up to a large ornate wood door.

All of us eleven year olds walked up to the stairs, and Hagrid went up to the door to knock three times. When he stepped back the door immediately opened to reveal an elderly woman wearing green robes, a matching hat, and a pinched expression. "Thank you Hagrid."

The woman turned around with a loud "follow me" and we were led into a large entrance hall. Large enough to fit my house in.

We were led across the stone floor towards another set of large doors–larger than the front ones. Behind them we could hear loud muffled voices, but instead of passing through we were led into a small chamber room.

Once we were all settled inside the woman called our attention, "Welcome to Hogwarts. I am Professor Mcgonnagal and I will soon be leading you into the Great Hall where the start-of-term banquet is being held. But before the feast begins you will all be sorted into your Houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because while you are here your House will be like your family. You will have your classes with your house, sleep in the house dormitories, and spend your free time in your house common room.

"The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history, and produced their own outstanding witches and wizards. While at Hogwarts you will be awarded house points. Any rule breaking and your will lose them. At the end of the year, the house with the most points will be awarded the house cup. I hope each of you be a credit to whichever house you are sorted into.

"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I shall return when we are ready for you," and with that she left the room.

Everybody in the room broke out into worried murmurs. Severus stayed silent, while Lily was bouncing with nerves. "How are you two not nervous?"

I shrugged, "I've been nervous so many times, it takes a lot for me to feel it." Sadly it was true. "Though if it makes you feel better I won't leave the castle if I'm put in Hufflepuff."

Tension seemed to ease from both of my new friends shoulders. "You would leave because of _that_?"

I looked at Lily, "Probably not. But I will definitely be writing up a petition to change the name of the house. And if not the name then the animal. I mean a badger? Really?"

Lily huffed a laugh, "You are so weird Alex."

Our conversation was interrupted, "It seems you three got your hair back."

We turned around and saw Sirius and James looking at us with their two other friends backing them up. I smiled at Sirius, ready for him to see me and pull me into a hug but he just glance over me without an ounce of recognition.

This confused me greatly, and Lily seemed to share my confusion, because we looked at each other from the corner of our eyes.

"It wasn't exactly hard," Severus sneered at the four boys. "I've seen better spell work from werewolves."

Something about this comment made the sandy haired one flinch, but nobody seemed to notice but me. I filed the reaction away for later.

Severus' comment had Sirius puff up in anger, "I have plenty of spells to show you, worm!" Sirius got ready to rip out his wand when the door opened to reveal Mcgonnagal.

"Alright you lot, the Sorting is about to start. Form a long and follow me." Everyone shoved themselves in a line, with my toe getting stepped on, and we followed her out of the chamber and towards the Great Hall.

Just like the outside of the castle, the Great Hall was absolutely amazing. Candles floated near a seemingly roofless ceiling, and four long tables stretched out in front of a single table, where all of the professors were sitting.

And sitting in front of that head table was a rickety, four-legged stool. There was a ratty hat and a rolled up piece of parchment on the stool. Mcgonnagal picked up the scroll and stood there without saying anything.

Just as us first years were growing confused, near the brim of the hat a rip formed and the top crinkled to form a face in the fabric.

 **(AN: Not writing the song because it would take a long time and, really, would you even read it?)**

The Hall burst into applause and Mcgonnagal unrolled the parchment, "When I call your name you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted. Edmund Abernathy!"

A young boy with bronze curls walked up to the stool in a seemingly calm way, though I could see his nervousness anyway. The hat was put on his head, and a moment later the brim ripped open, "RAVENCLAW!"

There was polite applause from the blue and bronze table, and Abernathy ran to the open end of the table with a smile on his face.

"Sirius Black!"

I watched anxiously as my best friend, who hadn't recognized me, walked up to the hat with tense shoulders. He sat on the stool, and gripped the edges with white knuckles. There seemed to be a small argument before the hat yelled out, "GRYFFINDOR!"

There was surprised silence. Sirius himself seemed to be surprised, but he grinned with happiness. My grin probably matched his, and I brought my fingers up to my mouth to give a sharp whistle. It cut through the silence of the Hall and it broke everybody from their revere to give their applause. James, however, was rather enthusiastic.

"Lily Evans!"

I squeezed Lily's hand for reassurance, and watched as she walked up to the stool. The hat was placed on her head, and as there for several moments. She seemed to be arguing worse than Sirius had, but in the end she lost.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

More polite applause, but by the look on her and Severus' faces they were less than pleased.

"Remus Lupin!"

The sandy haired boy was next. I watched with intrigue as the hat was placed on his head. More and more familiar names, and I have yet to place their roles.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Alex Palmer!" My heart stuttered and I chuckled silently, _There are my nerves._

Walking up to the stool I slowly took my seat and glanced over at the Gryffindor table. I expected to see grey eyes looking back at me, but found Sirius making funny faces at James. Before I could watch for much longer the brim of the hat fell over my eyes.

 _Well now, this is very interesting. The most interesting I've ever encountered really._

I bit my lip, _'Why?'_

 _Why? Well I'm sure you already know my dear girl. You've lived two lives before this. Both of which this one was a fairy tale. I've encountered similar stories, but they usually don't remember, or this is usually their second life._

 _'Please don't tell anybody!'_ I begged. _'I don't want envy body knowing.'_

 _Not to worry, not to worry. Students thoughts stay secret with me. Now let's see…oh yes. Studious, cunning, and a hint of courage when necessary. You are loyal and hardworking, but you would take the Hufflepuffs by storm. You do not have that same level of bravery a Gryffindor has. You'd make a more tactical retreat–much like a Slytherin._

 _Yes…Ravenclaw or Slytherin. You are very sneaky. You have two lives that you've never told anybody about. Good at keeping your cards close to your chest. But you have such a thirst for knowledge!_

 _'I have a question!'_ I interrupted him, _'Could you tell me why Sirius didn't recognize me?"_

 _Ah, the Black boy. From what I've gathered he hadn't recognized you because he doesn't know what you look like. Now…as I was saying–_ RAVENCLAW!"

I sighed with relief, a little happy that I hadn't been placed in Slytherin, and went towards the Ravenclaw table. I took my seat across from Edmund, on the same side as anot her Ravenclaw first year that was sorted before me.

"It's nice to meet you," Edmund stuck out her hand excitedly, "I'm Edmund Abernathy, in case you didn't remember."

I shook his hand distractedly, "Alex." He was a little put off that I wasn't paying that much attention, but I was too focused on what the hat told me. Sirius doesn't recognize me because he doesn't know what I look like. But that didn't make any sense! I've met him twice now he would have seen–

I blinked at myself. _Not necessarily_. Sirius knows I can morph. He's seen me with various hair styles and eye colors. But he doesn't know what I truly looked like. Not to mention he was too wrapped up with making dumb faces at James (who, along with Peter Pettigrew, was placed in Gryffindor).

My time thinking was interrupted when Severus was called to the hat. He seemed to be having a similar argument with the hat, but just like Lily, he lost. Lily stared after him gloomily while he walked to the Slytherin table.

When the sorting was finished Dumbledore stood up from his golden chair and spread his arms as if to hug the whole room. "Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our announcements I would like you to enjoy," he clapped his hands and the tables filled with food, "our banquet!"

Everybody immediately dug into the food, and the first years marveled at the magic used before digging in themselves.

"So," I commented as I fingered the Ravenclaw patch now sewn into my robe, "we're the only first year Ravenclaws?" For emphasis I looked at Edmund, then the other two boys that got sorted into our house, then myself.

Edmund looked around as well, "I guess so. But that's okay!" He still kept his bubbly attitude, and I was worried it would eventually kill my nerves. "That just means we won't have to share a dorm with so many people!"

I nodded and smiled manically when I finally realized, "I'll get a dorm all to myself!"

Edmund frowned sulkily, "Lucky." It was only a moment before he was back to his cheerful self.

During the entire feast Edmund talked my ear off, but I was only half listening. I was trying to think of what I would do about my Sirius Situation. It went right through dessert, and was interrupted when Dumbledore stood back up.

The tables cleared of their food, and luckily I still had a treacle tart in my hand or else I'd have gone to bed without its sugary goodness.

"Now that we're all fed and watered, I have a few start-of-term notices to give you. First years please note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And I have been asked by our caretaker, Mr. Filch, to remind you all that no magic is to be used between classes in the corridors.

"Quidditch trials shall be held on the second week of term. Anyone interested in joining their house team should contact our resident flying instructor," Dumbledore gestured to a younger woman at the end of the staff table. "Now, bedtime! Prefects please show the first years to their new dormitories!"

With those final words all of the students stood up from their tables. An older boy and girl approached us three firsties, and led us out of the Hall and all the way up to the seventh floor to a secluded strip of wall with a brass eagle knocker.

To say I was tired was an understatement.

The two "prefects" looked at the four of us thoughtfully, "We've never had such a little amount of first years, but even so. We are the house of wisdom and brilliance. All other houses look at us as the smartest, and we do our best to keep that reputation. The three of you will not ruin it for us." The girl raised her brow, and while Edmund nodded, the other boy remained silent, and I raised a brow with the second unknown boy.

"Anyway," the boy prefect stepped forward, "This is where our dormitory is located. Nobody else in the castle knows where it is, and it shall stay that way," he gave us a stern look to which all four of us nodded to. "We are a close family, so should you three need anything just ask another house member.

"To get into the common room you will have to answer a riddle," he turned to the knocker, and the object suddenly animated.

"What come down but never goes up?"

It took me a moment, "Rain."

A door suddenly materialized behind the knocker, "You may enter."

The prefects opened the door, and we followed them into the round common room. It had white walls with a brick fire place, a blue rug, and bronze furniture. Bookcases were lined up on some parts of the walls, and each shelf was chalk full of books.

"There is a tradition that every seventh year has to leave behind a book before they graduate," the girl gestured to the bookcases.

The boy pointed to a set of stairs on the left side of the room, "Up those stairs are the boys dorms. "Those lead to the girls," he pointed to the stairs on the right side, directly opposite from the boys. "Breakfast in the Great Hall starts at six. You all get your timetables at seven thirty. Don't be late." With that the boy and girl went off to do their own thing.

"Goodnight boys." I immediately set off for the girls dorms, and the first door I came across had a good plaque with my name on it. I pushed the door open and found my own personal dorm room with similar looks as the common room.

It was round, with white walls, and a blue rug. The bed had blue sheets with bronze bed hangings. And in the bathroom the floor had blue tiles and bronze colored countertops.

I sat on the edge of my new bed, with my trunk situated at the end. There were windows with wide sections in between–probably for other beds. But I was completely alone. And I loved every moment of it.

* * *

 **AN: Ah! She's made it to Hogwarts! And Sirius doesn't recognize her! The dumbass. Neither did James apparently. Though he doesn't know her as well**


	14. Chapter 14

I woke up around seven the next morning. For me this was like sleeping in since I had to wake up at six for my mundane school. In the end I still had to rush because I had to get dressed, and brush my hair and teeth. I had no clue what books I would need for the day so I left my bags behind and left my dorm. I wondered how difficult it would have been to get ready if I had roommates.

Down in the common room I found Edmund waiting impatiently by the fireplace. When he saw me his features lit up, and I wondered how he could be so cheery. "Good morning Alex!"

I raised a brow, but nodded back, "Edmund."

I left the common room with Edmund running after me. We ended up walking together, and I had to endure his endless chatter. "What's your favorite color? Mine is brown. Isn't it funny how close that is to bronze! It's like I was meant for the house. Both my parents thought I would be put in Hufflepuff, but no-sir-e I was put in Ravenclaw. Did you want to be put in Ravenclaw? I couldn't have cared less, but the Sorting Hat sorted me where I'd fit best."

"Edmund!" My yell shut him right up, "Please stop talking and help me find the Great Hall!" We'd been walking for a few minutes and nothing looked familiar.

"Why not just ask for directions?"

I pointedly looked around to show that nobody was around, "Who are we gonna ask?"

Edmund pointed to a random painting, "Ask one of them."

I opened my mouth to tell him what a stupid idea that was, but I immediately shut it. It was actually rather brilliant. "Excuse me!" I walked up to the nearest painting of a woman drinking tea.

The woman set her tea down, "Yes?"

"Could you please direct us towards the Great Hall?"

"Oh of course! Such a polite thing! Nobody talks to us portraits anymore. Yes, just go straight down this hallway, take a right, then a left, and you'll run into the main staircase. When you reach the bottom floor go right and you should see the Great Hall doors from there."

I smiled widely, "Thank you Madam!" Grabbing onto Edmunds sleeve I rushed him down the corridor. If we waiting too much longer we would be late to get our timetables. The Prefect said they were passed out at seven thirty. I needed to eat a quick breakfast, then find my way back up to the Ravenclaw common room to get everything I would need, then I had to traverse the school in an attempt to find my classroom.

It was five minutes of running before Edmund and I made it to the Great Hall doors. The were propped open, and the tables already had students filling up the benches. The two boys sorted with us last night were sitting across from each other.

"Hey guys!" Edmunds cheeriness seemed to irritate the surrounding people, but I was learning to ignore him.

Instead I decided to learn my other classmate's name, "Hey guys." They didn't look up. "Eleven year old with the black hair, and you with the bronze, I'm talking to you."

THe one with black hair looked at me with haughty blue eyes, "Who are you?"

I smirked, "You asked wrong."

The haughty look was replaced by confusion, "What?"

I chuckled to myself but didn't explain. Only Sirius really knows how to approach a girl, "I just wanted to know your name."

He seemed to weigh me with his eyes, and I just sat there with raised brows, munching on a piece of toast. "It's Gabriel."

"Nice. I'm Alex." I looked into the darker blue eyes of the bronze haired boy. He just gave me a calm smile, "Brady." The conversation ended at that.

A short man with brown hair and a mustache suddenly handed me a sheet of paper, "Your time table, Miss Palmer." He had a nasally voice as well.

I took it, "Thank you Mister…?"

He chuckled, "Filius Flitwick. I'm your head of house and charms professor."

Professor Flitwick continued passing out the timetables, and I waved to him as he walked down the table, "Thank you Filius!" He just chuckled and waved back.

Another student from down the table said something that caught my attention, "Hey, look at that!" I looked to see them pointing at the Slytherin table. I followed the finger to see Lily's bright red hair sitting across from Severus. "Doesn't she know Gryffindor's don't hang with Slytherins?"

The guys friend snorted, "Guess not."

I sighed tiredly, "I'll see you guys in class." Standing up from my seat I grabbed my time table and walked over to the Slytherin table with my head held high.

"Hey guys," I sat next to Lily, ignoring the looks my actions received.

"Hey Alex," Lily sounded relieved. My presence must have reassured her. No doubt she noticed the looks everyone was giving them.

Though to be honest we made an interesting sight. A Gryffindor and a Ravenclaw actually sitting at the Slytherin table. Everybody automatically sat at their respective tables.

"You're going to sit here to?" Severus was sneering–as usual.

I just smiled at him, "Don't be like that. You know you love me." I stole a piece of his bacon, "I've got to go and get my stuff ready for classes."

"That's right!" Lily jumped up from her seat and grabbed her own timetable. "I'll come with you. Bye Sev." Severus gave a small wave goodbye, but didn't say anything.

Lily and I left the Great Hall, ignoring the looks everybody was giving us.

"Why did you sit by him Lily?" I wanted to know why she stayed after getting all of those odd looks.

"Because he's my friend. Just because he's from another house doesn't mean I shouldn't sit by him."

I nodded in agreement because that explained everything. Had Sirius realized it was me then I would have sat near him as well. I still had to figure out what to do about that.

"So do you know why Black didn't recognize you?"

Seems like Lily wants to know too, "Well we've only seen each other twice, and I guess each time he didn't get a good look at me."

Lily didn't seem to believe that, but I wasn't going to explain my morphing abilities just yet. Maybe when we grew to be closer friends I could tell her. "Well what are you going to do about it?"

I sighed, "I'm not sure." The situation would have bothered any other eleven year old, but as time went on I started to find it a little funny. Here I was, a girl he said was his best friend, and he didn't even recognize me.

"And don't forget he spelled your hair away."

"He's a prankster Lily. That's the kind of stuff he does."

"But it's not right!" She burst.

I set a hand on her shoulder and stopped us in the middle of the empty corridor, "Lily I want you to stop worrying about it. At least for now. I'll think about what I'll do, then tell you. Just know that I won't wait until seventh year to tell him I'm here."

Lily nodded, "That's good."

We continued walking, and made it all the way up the marble staircase to another hallway. I had to go down the hallway to the left while Lily had to keep going straight.

"I'll see you later Lily," I waved her along and started jogging the same path I took to get to the Great Hall. If I kept up this pace I should make it to my first class just in time.

The eagle knocker gave me another one of his riddles, and I stared at him for a few moments before guessing, "Nothing?"

Thankfully I was correct, and I was able to run up to my dorm room and pull out my bag. Just because I was a Ravenclaw didn't mean I was good at riddles.

Pulling out my timetable I looked for today, Wednesday, and found what books I would need. Apparently I had double Potions with Hufflepuff, then at midnight I had Astronomy with Gryffindor. Attaching my wand to my arm I grabbed my bag and shoved my potions book and astronomy book inside. I wasn't sure what else I would need (parchment and a pen), but I put the crystal vials inside of my cauldron, along with the brass scales, and carried them out of the tower.

I knew potions was somewhere in the dungeons, but once again I had to ask a nearby portrait where it was. The knight was more than happy to point me in the right direction, and I ended up being the fifth person to class.

"Ah!" A jolly man with a pudgy stomach smiled at me when I walked in, "Another Raven I see. Take a seat, take a seat!"

I sat at the table closest to the door. That way, if an explosion happened, I could get out first.

"Um, sir?"

The overly joyful man strolled over, "Yes Miss?"

"Alex Palmer, sir. I was just wondering if I needed anything besides these?" I pulled everything out of the cauldron, and set my potions book down on the desk.

"Ah. It seems you have everything you'll need."

I sighed in relief, "Thank you, sir. I wasn't sure what I needed for the class."

"You have everything you were required to bring. I provide the ingredients and other necessary tools." He walked away and I looked at his back oddly. Tools?

At eight thirty only two more people came in, and they were Brady and Gabriel. Edmund seemed to be missing, and the Hufflepuff's were looking around for their own missing housemates.

"That's quite alright! I didn't expect everybody to be on time for the first day. Hogwarts is a large castle you know."

 _No_ , I thought sarcastically, _I hadn't noticed._

"I am Horace Slughorn, though you may address me as Professor, or Professor Slughorn. I will be teaching you about the art of potion making. But, for today, I will be telling you the name of each ingredient you will be using this year, what each ingredient looks like, and what it does."

He turned to the chalkboard behind his desk and flicked his wand towards it. "These are frog eyes…"

I grabbed my pen and the first journal I came across to immediately begin copying the words magically written on the board. I didn't have time to re-write the picture into my notes, but with the description of the eyes I figured I'd be able to pick them out.

Slughorn was halfway through his explanation of Mandrake roots when the rest of the first years burst into the room. They were huffing and puffing–sprouting various apologies–but Slughorn just smiled jovially, "It quite alright! Everybody gets lost the first few days. Just make sure it doesn't happen again."

He returned to his lesson like nothing happened, and the late first years breathed sighs of relief.

I heard the chair next to me be pulled out, and I looked up to see Edmund taking out his own journal with ink and a quill.

I went back to my note taking, but I felt eyes staring at the side of my head. "What is it Edmund?" I whispered out of the corner of my mouth.

"Where's your quill?"

I shrugged, "They're too much hassle. Besides that, I've never used one before."

We grew silent as Slughorn looked across the room while explaining the merits of frog eyes compared to beetle eyes.

"How much easier?"

I paused in my writing to give him a long look. "Find out for yourself," reaching into my bag I grabbed another ballpoint pen. I had a whole pack of these in the color black to last me (hopefully) the whole year. Maybe longer.

Edmund took the pen with a confused furrow of his brows, "There's no tip."

Reaching over I wrapped my hand around the length and clicked the end with my thumb. Edmund gasped when the tip of the pen came out, "Genius."

"If, by the end of class, you find you like it, then you can keep it."

He looked at me excitedly, "Really?!"

I shushed him but nodded, "Yes. Now pay attention. I'm trying to learn." For the rest of class Edmund stayed blessedly silent.

Since it was a double class we had potions for a continued hour and forty minutes. It wasn't so bad since I was learning new information, but to be in a classroom for three and a half hours straight with no breaks taking constant notes, you get tired of it. Edmund almost fell asleep a couple times, but I always nudged him to wake him back up.

When the bell rang for the end of class, everybody sighed with relief. Our hands were cramping, and our butts were sore. Slughorn's happy attitude lasted through the whole lesson, and I internally applauded him for being able to stay standing for that long. Though I could tell he loved what he taught, so that was in his favor.

"Wow," Edmund was looking at me in admiration. "How could you stay awake so easily? You didn't even fall asleep once!"

I smiled at him, and in return he beamed back. It was the first time he'd seen me smile at anything, and it was because of him! "I enjoy learning new things, and potion ingredients is one of those things. Not to mention some of those ingredients could help in Herbology class."

"You're right. I hadn't thought of that," Edmund looked at the ground thoughtfully.

"I see you kept my pen," I was grinning now.

He blushed, "You were right. It was easier to use." He looked at me with wide light green eyes. "Where'd you get them?"

"They're from the mundane world. You know, just because they don't have magic doesn't mean they can't do amazing things." It was quite a spectacle to watch as Armstrong went to land on the moon. I was only three at the time, but I remembered watching it on tv with my parents.

"Well thank you."

I looked over to see him blushing. It made me raise my eyebrows, but I didn't comment on his unnecessary embarrassment, "You're welcome."

There was nothing else for me to do until Astronomy, but that wasn't until midnight. I ended up going to the library–which was absolutely magnificent–and going to the shelf nearest to the door and grabbing the first volume of a set of fairy tale books.

"What are you doing here?" Edmund hadn't stopped following me after Potions.

"I'm reading," my voice held an obvious 'duh' tone.

He blushed, "I meant why are we in the library."

I sighed, "I came here to kill time. You just decided to follow me."

"Oh," Edmund continued sitting across from me in silence until he sighed in boredom, "Cant we do something else."

Now I sighed with frustration, "Edmund if you want to do something else I'm not stopping you. I'm going to stay here and read for a few hours."

Thankfully he stopped pestering me, but he did end up leaving after a few minutes of doing nothing.

I ended up reading the entire fairy tale series. It was pretty good, and as I looked around the library my eyes lit up with an idea. I had seven years in this school, why not try reading every book in the entire library? Most people would think it mad, but my entire being lit up at the challenge.

Until the library closed I could be found in the darkest corner of the library with my wand tucked behind my ears and a _Lumos_ lighting up the end. I found any book that was first year level, and stacked them up next to my chair.

A woman cleared her throat form beside me, "Hem hem."

Looking up I saw the librarian staring at me sternly, "It's passed closing time."

I blinked owlishly, "Oh." I gazed at the formidable stack of books still beside me. "Is it possible for me to check all these out?"

She stared at me doubtfully, "No."

"Then can you keep them on hold for me? If someone needs one then you can give it to them, but I've decided I want to try and read every book in this library before I graduate. I'll most likely be in here during any free time I have."

The woman pursed her lips and thought about it for a few minutes before sharply nodding, "I will hold them behind my desk, but if another student needs one then I won't hesitate to give it to them."

I nodded graciously, "Thank you. But I will check out this one, if still possible." I held up the book I was currently reading, and she flicked her wand at the stack of books to make them float behind her.

She set the stack behind her desk, just like she said, and wrote down my name and what book I was checking out. "You have a week to return it. Now off to bed, it's almost curfew."

"Thanks," grabbing the book I jogged out of the library and headed for Ravenclaw tower. It was becoming a little easier to find my way towards the tower, and I no longer needed to ask for directions. I made sure to find certain portraits or statues to use as landmarks to find where everything was.

The eagle asked another one of his riddles, and I thanked my lucky stars I knew what it was. I made a mental note to have a fellow Ravenclaw walk with me because I wasn't going to get these right all the time.

I walked up to my dorm room and switched my potions book for Defense Against the Dark Arts and Charms. I wouldn't have Potions again until next Wednesday, same with Astronomy.

Even though it was only eight o'clock that was the curfew for first and second years. So I had four hours to kill. I ended up finishing my book from the library, and since I only took the one I grabbed my journal from Potions class and began studying everything we went over. According to Slughorn our next class would be all about how to properly slice and dice ingredients. Fun.

Studying only took about an hour, but that was all I needed. The other two and a half hours were spent reading a book from my trunk. I had yet to read it, and it was filled with random, but useful spells.

One of them was an alarm spell, and it made me think of my need for an alarm clock. I needed one since there was nothing in my dorm to tell time, and I currently had no clue what time it was.

That led to the usefulness of another spell in the book. It was called _Tempus_ , and it showed the time and date. After a few tries I was able to get it, and saw it was 11:28.

I thanked any God up there for that spell and hastily left my dorm. I liked to give myself a half an hour to find my class since I had no idea where any of them were. They should at least have classroom numbers. Or maybe a map, or some directions.

 _Now there's an idea_. I could make some sort of map. Or maybe a piece of paper that gave me directions when I needed them. Like a GPS! The ideas were endless, and I had the magic to do it.

Unfortunately I got lost again, and I had to wake up a grumpy portrait for directions. "It's a few halls down from here. By a portrait of Harriet stargazing."

Taking the vague directions I left as quick as I could. No need for the old man to get even more agitated.

Thankfully I was able to find the door leading to a spiral staircase. I took a few wrong turns to get there, but in the end I made it on time.

As soon as I walked in the door the woman directed me, "You will address me as Professor Vector. Please take a seat at the desk in the back of the middle row."

Not willing to make the stern woman wait I went right towards the desk she directed me to and sat down. I propped my telescope against my desk, then pulled out my pen and an unused journal.

More students trickled in, and Vector gave them the same introduction she gave me. They were all given various seats, and in the end is four Ravenclaws were seated apart. We had a rather dismal number of first years–especially with me being the only girl.

From the desk diagonal from me I saw Lily looking at me with an excited expression. She waved happily and I nodded back with a smile.

The person beside me chuckled, "You know Evans?"

I turned I my seat to see a familiar sandy haired boy with hazel eyes. "I do," I smiled, "You're Remus Lupin right?"

He looked surprised, "You know me?"

I smiled, but it lacked any humor, "Hard to forget the group of boys who made all of my hair disappear."

Remus stared at me for a few moments before recognition flashed in his eyes. It was soon followed by regret, "I'm really sorry that happened. It was James and Sirius' idea."

I hummed because I knew it was true, "How'd you guys meet anyway?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but Vector slapped a ruler against her desk, effectively ending all conversation. "As I said when you all walked in, I am Professor Vector. For tonight we will be learning about various constellations and what they look like."

"Excuse me, Vector?" Everybody looked to see none other than Sirius raising his hand, "Isn't it morning?"

Vector didn't look amused in the slightest, "As I was saying. Take out your quills and write everything I do." Just like Slughorn she flicked her wand at a chalkboard and had notes spread all across it.

When Remus asked why I was using a pen I wondered if it would happen with everybody I sat with, "I've never used a quill before, and pens are easier."

Remus actually knew what a pen was, unlike Edmund, "Huh. That's actually pretty smart. I think I'll get a pen next time I go to the muggle world."

"Here," I took out another pen, "you can use one of mine 'til you get one."

He took it gratefully, "Thanks, Alex."

I paused in my note taking to look at him, "You know my name?"

Remus smirked at me, "Hard to forget the bald girl who called my friends and I bastards."

I had to cover my mouth to prevent my laugh from echoing around the room. "Oh," I was able to choke out.

He patted my back, "It's alright. They deserved it anyway."

The rest of class was spent taking notes. Remus, Lily, and I were the only ones not yawning. Me because I never fall asleep until about two o'clock anyway, and the other two I didn't know.

By the end of class half of us were asleep on our desks, and Vector seemed to take pleasure in rapping her ruler next to their heads to wake them up. I actually found it funny as well.

"Goodnight Remus," I waved at the sandy haired boy as Edmund sleepily gestured for me to hurry up.

He waved back, "Night Alex."

On the way back to our common room Edmund was interrogating me about Remus. He was really getting on my nerves, and it was way to early to be talking to him. "I don't know what you want me to tell you Abernathy! He's just Remus!"

Edmund grew silent. I'd never called him by his last name before, and for some reason it bothered him.

We entered the common room and I immediately headed for the stairs to the girls dorms. Edmund called my name, but I just waved him off. I wanted to see if I had any books that could help me with my map idea.

* * *

 **AN: I am on fire with these new chapters. I'm even thinking of starting chapter 15 tonight. Should I? Or should I slow down?**


	15. Chapter 15

The first two weeks of school turned out to be easier than I thought. We just had to take notes on what we would be doing during during the rest of the year. The only difficult part was personal. Sirius had yet to recognize me.

It's not like we had many opportunities to talk. In Astronomy I sat next to Remus, and the only other class I has with Gryffindor was History of Magic, which sent everybody but me, Remus, and Lily to sleep. At least in that class I got to sit next to Lily. Then I only saw him in the Great Hall. My free time was spent reading or studying in the library, while him and his friends made themselves known as the school pranksters.

Sirius and I also continued our daily letters. Hooter always brought mine to my room in the morning. Screeching loud enough to wake me up. I would stop him, but he always woke me up on time so I left him. When I read the letter I wrote a reply right afterwards–like I've always done–and gave it to Hooter. But each time I told him not to send it until after curfew.

To try and take my mind off of it I spent my time studying bears, and trying to find an idea for a magical GPS of the school. By now I knew how to get to my classrooms, but it was still a pretty good idea.

One night while I was studying in my dorm room I started getting a headache. I tried fending it off by taking a break from reading and meditating, but it didn't help. Sighing with frustration I slowly broke out of my meditative state and quietly snuck out of the common room.

At this time of night the corridors were super dark, so I just used my wandless magic to create a ball of light. At least this way someone won't be able to track the spell to my wand.

A few portraits grumbled about the light, but most stayed asleep. I just needed to find one of the rooms of the castle I've never been to.

It took a good ten minutes before I found a promising set of doors. I was lucky I didn't run into any teachers prowling the halls.

Pushing open the doors I looked around the dark Hospital Wing, but I didn't see the Matron. She most likely had an office somewhere, so she was probably nearby. I would have just yelled for her, but there was somebody in one of the beds.

I quietly crept towards the bed to see if I knew who it was. They didn't seem very big, so they weren't much older than I was. I got closer and closer, and when took a peek at the head on the white pillow I found a sleeping sandy haired boy.

"Remus?" I furrowed my brows. He looked extremely pale, and his forehead was glistening with sweat.

"What are you doing in here? It's late!"

At the sound of a woman's hushed reprimand I spun around to see the matron glaring at me. "I'm sorry Madam. It's just that I have a pretty bad headache."

She sighed, "Then follow me. I don't need you bothering my other patients."

She led me towards a tall cabinet that was filled with various potion vials. I was handed a vial with a red potion, "Drink this, it should make it go away."

I downed the potion without complaint and handed back the vial, "Can you tell me what's wrong with Remus?"

At the sound of his name her eyes softened, "He has a sort of sickness that effects him every month. You'll have to ask him for more information than that."

Nodding in understanding I left the Hospital Wing to go back up to Ravenclaw Tower. I couldn't help but think that there was something about Remus that I should be remembering. No doubt it would explain why he was so sick.

It made me feel kind of bad. I considered Remus to be a good friend of mine, and he didn't tell me he had an illness. Although it was a personal issue, so I guess I had no real right to know.

I decided I wouldn't mention it the next day. It was Wednesday tomorrow, so we would be in Astronomy together. Sometimes he would tell me what he and the other three were planning, and I would give him ideas. According to him Sirius and James loved them, and they wanted to know who was the genius behind the prank ideas. Apparently Remus didn't take the credit for them.

He wanted to know if it was okay for him to tell them the ideas were from me, but I told him to make me anonymous.

Sirius and James took that as a challenge to find out who I was. This made it harder for me and Remus to talk because now they were watching to see who he spoke to.

I also accidentally gave Remus the idea of having a group name. He loved it, and the next prank they pulled they made sure to spread their new name as Marauders, prankster extraordinaire's. Remus also confessed one day while we were studying in the library that they labelled me as a trickster, just like them. I was like their silent benefactor.

All of that in a span of two weeks, and I'd only talked to Remus about four times.

The day after my visit to the Hospital Wing was normal as always. Edmund followed me like a lost puppy, and in potions Slughorn had us start our own simple potion. According to Slughorn my potion was flawless, and his rain of praise had me wanting to melt into the floor.

Astronomy was when I noticed something odd. Remus, punctual and always on time Remus, wasn't there. I chalked it up to his sickness and worked on my telescope alone. Distractedly noting an odd howling coming from somewhere outside.

I saw him in the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning, and I noticed he was extremely pale. He was a little shaky, and he had some small cuts and bruises on his face. His friends looked worried, but they didn't say anything. I wondered what illness could give people wounds.

Later that night I set aside the too-many books that I wanted to read and decided to practice my wandless magic. I hadn't done any since before school started, and I needed to get back into the groove of things. I used to meditate an hour a day, and practice wandless magic afterwards.

With a mental note I decided I would meditate from 11-12 o'clock, after curfew. Then I would do my wandless magic until I grew too tired. By now I could make a ball of light, levitate things, and turn a matchstick into a needle. Now I was working on the summoning charm, _Accio_.

During my free periods I would read the books from the library, then after curfew, up 'til 11 o'clock, I would study everything about bears. By now I knew where there organs were all located, and I was teaching myself about what bones they had. Then after that I would read up on the outside of their bodies. Once I had a good grasp on where everything was located I would try to start turning.

Time continued on, and I was finally starting to fall into a sort of routine. Go to all of my classes, read in the library during free periods, eat lunch, read until 8 o'clock curfew, then study my notes for an hour, read up more on bears, look up map ideas, then meditate 'til 12 (or 11:30 if it was a Wednesday), and practice wandless magic until I fell asleep.

Tuesday was a little different. Instead of reading in the library for my free period the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were set to go to their first broom riding practice. I was pretty excited, so I wasn't as short tempered with Edmund for his constant movement.

The instructor told us to step up to our brooms, and command it to come "up". Edmund was still talking my ear off, so at first I was a little distracted. My commands were making it shift around in the ground. "Edmund!" I glared at him, "Shut up and do what your told!"

His mouth snapped shut and he glared sorrowfully at his broom.

I sighed irritably and looked back at my broom, "Up!" It immediately shot into my hand, and I almost went off balance from the sudden motion.

Once everybody got their brooms in their hand the instructor told us to mount them. "I want you to mount it. Grip it tight! We don't want you sliding off the end."

I blinked owlishly and snorted. Everybody around me looked at me oddly, but I just waved a hand. "Don't," I stifled my chuckles, "Don't worry about it."

The instructor had us all lightly kick off the ground, and the whole class was pretty much spent leisurely flying. I waited until I was comfortable on the flimsy piece of wood before trying any tricks. None of them were death defying by any means, but I did small dives, and went as fast as my broom could go. It probably wasn't as fast as the broom I had at home, but for a beginner like me it was a good start.

Another thing I did once I was at full speed was a barrel roll. It was pretty exhilarating, but I almost lost my grip on my second try so I didn't do it again. Not that day anyway.

The bell for end of classes rang across the grounds, so we were instructed on how to properly land, and set down our brooms before heading for the castle. I wasn't rushing since I had nowhere important to be, but apparently somebody else was because as o was turning down another corridor to get to the library a body slammed into me.

We were both sent tumbling to the floor, and over the persons groan I heard somebody else laughing. "Nice job Sirius!"

The body pushed himself off of me, and he held his body up above mine. Sirius Black, for whatever reason, was the one who rammed into me, "Hello love."

I blinked rapidly and grinned at the endearment. He remembered my instructions–yet he can't even remember his own friend when he sees her, "Hello Sirius." He was still hovering over me so I shoved him off and stood up, brushing off any dirt that might have clung to me from the floor.

Sirius stood up as well, and when I looked up I saw the rest of his Marauder friends had joined him at some point. Remus smiled at me from his place next to James, "Hello Alex."

"Hey Remus, what are you four up to now?"

He shrugged with a wave of his hand, "Oh you know, this and that."

I laughed, "That sound exhilarating, I'm sorry I'm not a part of it."

Remus chuckled as well, and Sirius cleared his throat, "Well Remus, aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Oh. This is–"

"Alex!"

"Yes, this is Alex." I snorted in amusement, he completely ignored Edmund's interruption, "We sit next to each other in Astronomy."

"Alex?" Sirius' eyes lit up at the name, and James groaned, "You better watch out Alex. This ones got a crush who also just so happens to have the name Alex. The git doesn't even know what she really looks like."

"I do too know what she looked like!" Sirius glared at James, and they all ignored Edmund's sudden presence.

"Oh yeah," James crossed his arms, "Prove it."

"She has colorful hair and eyes."

Even Remus has his eyebrows raised, "Colorful hair and eyes?"

Sirius huffed, and I could have sworn his cheeks were pink, "She's a metamorphmagus."

"Ah," the blonde Marauder nodded in faux understanding, "So in other words you have no idea what she looks like."

"Shut up Peter!" Sirius hit his friend upside the head, "James doesn't either!"

"Hey, I've only met her once!" James had a pretty good argument.

It was nice to finally know why Sirius didn't recognize me. Now for me to figure out an amazing way to tell him. I wasn't just going to outright say it, oh no, that wouldn't be fun. "Well it's always a pleasure talking with you boys, but I've gotta run."

"Where are you off to?" Remus inquired politely.

Edmund suddenly pushed himself into the conversation, "It's none of your business what she does."

We all stared at him like he was crazy, and he blushed. But he was internally proud of himself for standing up for Alex.

"Right," I dragged out the word in awkwardness. "I'm off to the library."

Edmund sighed, "You always go to the library!"

"It's cause she's a Ravenclaw." I looked over to see Sirius shrugging.

"Wow," my time was dripping with disgust. "That's what you automatically think when a Ravenclaw says their going to the library? 'Oh, their only going cause their Ravenclaws. They have to be smart'." I snorted, "I didn't expect for the Marauders to be pulled into the house stereotypes, but I guess I was wrong. It's not like I would have gone to the library if I was a Gryffindor, or a Hufflepuff," I rolled my eyes. "I bet if I was a Slytherin and said that you would automatically think I was going to read something dark."

James and Sirius were both looking extremely guilty now. "I thought so. Now please excuse me, I have books to read." I asked around the Marauders to start heading for the library, and I heard Remus' voice, "Hold on Alex!"

I stopped walking–Edmund stopping right beside me–and waited until Remus was beside me before continuing on.

"I'm sorry about them." I waved away his apologies, "Don't worry about it. These prejudices have been here for years now. It's pretty much expected for the first years to learn them as quick as possible."

"Evans and her Slytherin friend don't seem to pay them any attention," Remus pointed out.

"For now. But what about a couple years from now? Do you really think Severus' house is going to let him hang out with a mundane-born? Let alone be friends with her? They really are a dark house, and even if you go in their light as the sun, they will taint you. That might be prejudice, but we have to face the facts."

Remus was nodding along with what I was saying, "Evans won't give up that easily. She's stubborn."

I laughed, "Yeah, she can be." Her and I talked during History of Magic. It was the only class we had that we sat next to each other in. Probably the best class for that since Professor Binns paid absolutely no attention to his class. I needed to get some kind of pen that wrote for me. Maybe there was a quill for it.

Remus chuckled at something, and I asked him what was wrong, "Nothing. I was just thinking about how much Evans hates James."

I laughed again, "Yes, she clearly expressed to me her strong hate for Potter." Remus laughed as well, and walking sulkily beside us was a put-out Edmund Abernathy.

When we made it to the library I grabbed my decreasing stack of books from behind the librarians counter. Most over read, but a couple were given out to kids who needed them.

"Why do you have so many books?"

Remus was sitting across from me and looking at the stack inquiringly. Edmund was next to me, and he silently wanted to know why as well.

"I've made it my goal to read every book in this library before I graduate."

Remus whistled lowly, "That's a lot of books. Are you going to read the restricted section as well?"

I gazed in the direction of the gated off part of the library, "I'm not sure. Not _all_ of those books can be dark, right? Maybe there are books in there about obscure Herbology plants that I don't know about."

He nodded, "Well if you do read anything from in there, show me first? Don't want you learning any dark spells." He made the last sentence a joke, but I knew he was completely serious. And I was okay with that.

"Sure thing Remus."

The three of us stayed in the library until closing. We finished any small assignments the teachers may have given us, and for the rest of the time we just read.

Well, Remus and I read. Edmund had fallen asleep about an hour ago.

"Come on," I pulled a confused Remus from his chair, and I brought my stack of books behind the librarians counter.

"What are you doing! And why are you leaving Edmund behind?"

"We have Astronomy tomorrow don't we?" Remus nodded. "Well last week we learned how to set up our telescopes. Do you need any help with that?" I stopped walking, suddenly nervous. Did he already know how to set it up?

Remus blinked in surprise, but it morphed into a smile of relief, "Please. I was worried I would have to ask Professor Vector during class."

I chuckled in amused relief, "She can be pretty scary sometimes."

"So now I know why we left the library," Remus paused to give a random portrait a random word. I looked at him like he was crazy, but that changed to surprise when the portrait swung open. "I trust you won't tell anybody where our common room is. Or the password."

I gave him an innocent look, "What are you talking about Remus?"

He laughed and continued his train of thought, "So I know why we left, but why'd you leave–Edmund?–behind."

"Because Edmund is clingy, and by the looks of it, only with me. I don't know why, but because of this I take every opportunity I'm given to get away from him."

Remus nodded but said nothing. He gestured for me to stay quiet, and he led me up a set of stairs that must lead to the boys dorms. He brought me to a door with four gold plaques, each one engraved with a name: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter.

Without even opening the door he sighed, "They're not here. Come on in."

I followed him in confusion. How did he know they weren't there? He must have been worried they would have been, which is why he wanted me to be quiet. But he didn't even lean against the wood to listen for them.

He walked over to the canopy bed on the far left of the room. I noticed interestedly that his bed had a lot of chocolate wrappers on or strewn around it. "Don't mind the mess," Remus swept a couple beneath his bed before digging around for his telescope.

"I would have thought a smart boy like you would have a clean room," my tone was teasing.

"Well," he scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment, "it's not that bad. My room at home is worse."

I looked around their dorm and saw clothes laying over everything. A robe was laying over a trunk, a pair of boxers were on one of the bed poles, garbage was laying everywhere. Compared to the rest of the room Remus' side was cleanest.

I heard a familiar hoot, and turned to see Hooter standing on one of the beds. My eyes widened in surprise, and he flew over to me and landed on my shoulder.

"Oh, that's Hooter. According to Sirius its Alex's owl. Well not your owl, the other Alex's owl."

I held up a hand, and had to keep my head turned away from him so Remus wouldn't see my uncontrolled smile. "Hooter?" I stroked his white speckled feathers, "What an odd name."

Hooter was looking at me like I was crazy, like he knew that I was pretending I had no clue who he was, and Remus was nine the wiser, "It may be odd, but it fits him. He hoots constantly, until Sirius opens the letter Alex sent. Not you Alex. The other Alex."

"I got what you meant Remus."

"He's a good owl though. I had a letter to send, and I wanted to borrow Hooter–since he was already in here and it was after curfew–but Sirius wouldn't let me. He said if Hooter didn't go right to Alex–his Alex–then he wouldn't get a letter back the next night." Remus tilted his head in thought, "He's rather selfish about things when it comes to his Alex."

My eyebrows raised, and I could look at him now without smiling, "His Alex?", though I wanted to smile really badly.

"His Alex," Remus confirmed. "That's what James, Peter, and I have started calling her. Sirius alway insists that she's not his, but I wouldn't doubt him being pleased with the term."

With a shake of my head I gave a small snort of amusement, "Sirius is special. Now come on," I started walking to the door, "we've got to learn this."

I led him out of the common room and towards Ravenclaw tower. He showed e the Gryffindor entrance, so this was only fair.

Remus looked at the knocker in confusion, and when it spouted off a riddle he looked surprised. "A secret." He grew even more surprised when a door materialized behind the knocker.

I looked at him sternly, "You will tell nobody where this is. Not even Sirius, James, or Peter."

Remus smiled before bringing a hand to his lips "zipped" it shut "locked" it, and threw away the key. "My lips are sealed."

We entered the common room and rushed for the stairs leading up to the girls dorms. I was already half way up when Remus called for me, "Aren't the stairs charmed not to let up boys?"

I paused, _Were they?_ "Well why don't you start walking up and we'll find out."

Remus hesitantly started coming up, and by the third step the stairs suddenly morphed into a slide, and we were both sent sliding to the bottom. I groaned, "Ugh. That didn't work."

"Told you," Remus groaned from beneath me.

"Alright hold on," I stood up and went back up to the halfway point of the stairs. "Come up as fast as you can. Skip steps if possible."

"What? How is that gonna work?"

I rolled my eyes, "Just trust me."

I heard him huff with doubt, before I heard him rapidly coming up the steps. He made it to the stair below me, and before they could change into another slide I put one hand on his arm, grabbed the back of his robes, and flung him as far as I could.

His foot hit the third stair from the top, and the rest of his body tripped forward. I groaned along with him, but at least his chest was on the landing. "Ow."

I opened my mouth to say sorry, but once again the stairs changed beneath my feet, "Ah!" I slid down for a second time, and waited for Remus' body to hit mine–but he never came. "Remus?"

"I'm still up here," after a couple seconds the stairs came back.

Jogging up the stairs I didn't want to risk them changing for a third time. No doubt I would have a few bruises in the morning. Along with Remus.

He was waiting for me at the top of the steps, "You're pretty strong."

I shrugged, "You weren't that heavy. Wait a couple years and you'll probably get too big for me to even lift." I made it to the top moved passed him to go to my own dorm room.

"Won't your dorm mates be upset I'm here?"

With a mischievous smirk I just pushed open my door, "I doubt it."

He entered first, and he looked at the only bed in the large room with an open mouth, "You're alone?"

I nodded proudly, "Yep!"

"But–isn't that kinda lonely?"

"No," I shook my head. "I like the space. And at least this way I don't have to fight for the bathroom."

Remus nodded in envy, "Peter has to fight for time in the bathroom. I wake up early, so I don't really have to, but Sirius takes _ages_ in the bathroom. James always jokes about him being a girl."

With a laugh I led him over to the window with the best view of the sky. They were all pretty good since we were at the top of the tower, but this one also had a good view of the grounds. "Here," I unlocked the latch and pushed open the window, "we can set it up here. I'll get mine so I can practice along with you."

When I brought over my telescope and showed him how to open the stand. We set them up side by side, and I brought over my journal so he could see my notes and know what each part of the telescope was called.

For several hours all we did was stare up at the stars. It was a very relaxing experience, and it was only broken when Remus announced that he should get back to his dorm.

"Are you sure? You could stay here for tonight"

He looked at me oddly, "Why would I do that?"

Taking out my wand I cast a quick _Tempus_ and we both saw that it was eleven at night. Way past curfew. "I don't mind if you want to stay for the night."

"But I have to go back. James and them are probably wondering where I am. I wouldn't put it passed them to search for me."

"Well if they did that then they would probably be doing it by now, and you wouldn't see them tonight anyway. If you'd like we can try to find a messenger spell."

"And how would we do that?" He raised a doubtful brow.

I snorted and went over to my trunk, "If there's a spell for that," I reached into my secret compartment and pulled out arm fuels of books, "then I've got it."

Remus looked at my collection of books with awe, "That's a lot of books."

Shrugging off the compliment I started looking at the titles of books in an attempt to find a useful spell. "We could maybe charm a piece of paper to find Sirius."

"Or I could go back to my dorm."

I sighed, "You could do that and risk getting in trouble, or you could help me find a way to keep you here." I paused, "That last part sounded pretty bad."

Remus laughed and pulled a book into his lap. When the title didn't sound promising he set it to the side, "Where'd you get all of these?"

"I've been collecting since I was about…four years old."

Remus choked, "Four?!"

I nodded like it was the most normal thing in the world, "Yeah. It's when my mother told me about the magical world, and I immediately started reading these books."

"You've read these books?"

"Every one."

That sent Remus into a deeper state of disbelief, "But most of these books are well passed the level of a first year–let alone a four year old!"

I looked around at the books now littered across my floor. I never thought about how somebody else would react to my reading habits, "Well I read them. And I know for a fact there's something here that can help us, I just don't remember which book it is."

So we sat there for a good hour, looking at book after book before I finally found something that could help. "Ha! Remus go write a note."

The steadily-growing-tired boy leisurely grabbed a piece of parchment from his bag and wrote a small note with the pen I gave him on our first day of classes. He folded it up, and I gave him an envelope to put it in. On the back he just wrote "To Marauders should they wish to know".

Looking at the book I practiced the wand movements before trying it on the letter. On the second try I got it to work, and the letter floated up into the air. I risked to the open window and pointed out, "Go find Sirius Black or James Potter."

The letter zoomed out the window and I smiled to myself, "Why use owls when people can just use that?"

"I don't know," Remus yawned. "Do you have a blanket I could borrow?"

I looked at him oddly, "There's one on the bed."

"But you're using that one."

His protest was funny to me, "Oh, you think you're sleeping on the floor! No were both gonna sleep on the bed."

Now Remus was looking at me oddly, "Together?"

"Sure. Why?" I gave him an amused look, "You scared of girl cooties?"

He immediately denied it, "No! I was just surprised."

"You're surprised a girl wants to sleep with you?"

Remus caught the double meaning, "Yes. Well no! I mean I don't know–"

He cut off when he heard my laughter, "It's alright Remus. We're just going to be on our own sides of the bed, okay?"

His huff made me chuckle, but he crawled under the covers anyway. "This beds pretty comfortable."

I nodded in agreement, "I know. Much better than mine at home."

"I think it's softer than the one in my dorm." Remus' voice was soft with sleep, and I just hummed, not wanting to bother his need for sleep.

For about half an hour I put all of my books back into my trunk,mind afterwards I decided to skip my usual practice of wandless magic. I've almost succeeded in summoning my pillow from across the room, but it could wait for the next night. Instead I crawled under the covers next to Remus, and with my back turned towards his I fell into an easy sleep.

* * *

 **AN: Follow shemarauder on Instagram. Writer of fanfics**


	16. Chapter 16

A terrible screeching noise sounded through my dorm room. It was familiar to me so I woke up easily, but Remus sat up so quickly he fell out of the bed. I was too busy laughing at him to help him off the floor.

"Have a nice trip?"

Remus grumbled irritably from his place on the floor.

Getting out of bed without trouble I walked over to Hooter and grabbed the letter from Sirius. I was midway through opening it when I realized something: Remus knows Hooter.

I stared at my owl with wide eyes before grabbing him and shoving him back out the window he came from. His indignant hoots were clearly heard through the closed glass, and I knew I needed to give him _a lot_ of treats to make up for what I just did.

"What was that?"

I turned around and casually waved the letter, "Just something from a friend of mine. He's always sending me letters."

"Aren't you going to read it?"

"Not if we want to be late," for emphasis I cast _Tempus_ and the time read 7:02am.

Remus cursed, "I need to get back to my common room!"

"Then go!"

He went to the door but paused, "Won't people see me?"

"Probably. But if you run fast enough they won't have time to question you. You might get lucky and they won't get a good look at your face."

Remus nodded in acknowledgment before bursting out of my room with a quick "Bye Alex!".

I leisurely put my Potions and Astronomy books into my bag. It was Wednesday so those were the two classes I would be having.

With my hair and teeth brushed, my custom uniform on (custom being pants instead of a skirt), my wand strapped to my right arm, and my bag over my shoulder I was ready to go in ten minutes.

When I left my room I intended to head straight for the common room where Edmund would be waiting for me. Instead I found a girl about a year or two older than I was standing outside of what must have been the door to her room, and in her hands were her bathing supplies.

"What are you doing?"

She huffed, but her cheeks turned pink from embarrassment, "I was complaining about how long my roommate was taking, so she shoved me out here."

I nodded slowly, thinking about what I was going to do next and whether or not I should do it. "You wanna use my bathroom?"

The girl looked at me oddly, "What?"

"I have the room to myself, and I'm done in there. If you want to use it you can."

She seemed hesitant, but took a step forward anyway, "We don't even know each other."

"I'm Alex Palmer, first year. You?"

She weighed me with her eyes before smiling gratefully, "Christy Walker, second year. It's nice to meet you Alex."

I went towards the stairs and I stopped when I heard my name being called. "Thanks for letting me use your bathroom."

I waved my hand, "Sure thing."

After that small encounter I went about my day like I usually would. Although I had a bounce in my step for the rest of the day. I even decided to take a break from the library and asked Edmund what he wanted to do. The amount of happiness that question extracted from him made me wonder why I hadn't asked before.

"Could we go do homework by the Lake?"

I smiled. It would be a nice change of scenery, "I'll need to get some things from my dorm, but yeah. The Lake it is."

We sat beneath a large tree growing by the lake shore. It wasn't tall, but the trunk was thick and there were roots sticking out of the ground that were comfortable to sit on once you found a good place.

"Could you help me with this?" Edmund showed me his transfiguration essay. I had just finished my own a few minutes ago.

"What do you need help on?"

With my help Edmund was able to finish his essay, and I was quick to finish charms.

"How can you write so fast?"

I thought about my first job as a teacher, and all the other essays I've had to write throughout my lives, "I've had practice." I pulled out my potions book, "Let's start on potions, then we can head inside."

Edmund agreed, and as I worked on my own essay I slowly guided him on the proper way to write one. I gave him a thesis, told him how many paragraphs he needed, how long the paragraphs should be, and what kinds of facts he should add.

rBy the time the sun started setting behind the trees of the Forbidden Forest I finished my essay, and Edmund only had a paragraph left to write, "We should head inside for dinner," to prove my point a cold gust of wind blew passed us. The beginning of autumn was starting to show itself.

"Alright," Edmund finished the sentence he was on before blowing on his parchment.

"What are you doing?" My tone was filled with amusement.

He stopped blowing and looked at me oddly, "I'm drying the ink."

"But you were using my pen." Edmund just blinked at me in continued confusion. "When you write with pens the ink doesn't stay wet. It drys right away." For emphasis I wiped a finger across his paper. Not a single smudge.

Edmund looked amazed, "But how does it dry so quickly?"

I shrugged, "I don't actually know. I've never bothered to find out." With that we packed away our things and headed up to the castle.

When we entered the Great Hall we headed for our usual spot, but a familiar voice stopped me. "Hey, Alex!" I turned and saw Christy waving at me from her seat next to two other girls. "Come sit with us!"

Looking at Edmund I decided to ask for his permission. We've always sat next to each other unless I joined Lily and Severus halfway through the meal. "Do you mind?"

Edmund worried his bottom lip, "Not really."

Bobbing my head I went over towards Christy and sat in the open seat next to her. "Hello Christy."

"Hey. This is Alex," she gestured at me and her friends waved with small 'hello's. "Alex this is Beth Bancroft," she pointed to the dark skinned gold with brunette hair and chocolate colored eyes, "and Eliza Davis," the second girl had blonde hair and dark green eyes, though not as pretty as Lily's.

Eliza stuck out her hand for me to shake it, "Halfblood. Dad was a wizard, mum a muggle."

Christy and Beth sighed, and I assumed it was normal behavior, "Halfblood as well. Mothers a pureblood, father," I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat, "a mundane."

When we dropped our handshake Beth hit Eliza over the head, "Do you have to do that with everyone you meet?"

Eliza only shrugged, "She wasn't offended."

Christy sighed irritably, "That doesn't matter. Other people might find it offensive." She turned to me, "Sorry about her."

"Hey Alex?" I looked at Beth, "Why'd you call your dad a mundane? Is it because of wherever your accent is from?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I'm from America. Mother and I moved here after some…family complications. Besides, I think it sounds less offensive." My accent was no longer as string now that I've been living in Britain for some years.

Beth nodded in understanding, "My parents are both muggles. It was quite a shock when Professor Mcgonnagal came with my Hogwarts letter! Of course after she explained my accidental magic it all made sense, but my parents still aren't very comfortable with the idea of magic." Beth sounded sad as she finished.

"It is a lot to take in," I nodded understandingly. "You could always try talking to them about it," I thought about my own father and wondered if things would have been different if I just sat him down and we all talked. "Maybe show them some of your school books so they know what your learning about. I'd say take them to Diagon, but that might be too much at once."

Beth was nodding to everything I was saying, "That's a good idea. I'll do that!"

"Hey!" Eliza was looking at me like she just realized something, "Aren't you the one who sits by that Slytherin and Gryffindor couple?"

"They're not a couple, but yeah."

"Oh yeah," Christy was nodding. "What's up with those two?"

I shrugged, "I met them on the train ride here, and they were already friends."

Beth hummed, "Well good for them for keeping the friendship alive."

We all nodded lightly, and grew quiet as the food showed up on the tables. For a few minutes the only thing heard was silverware against plates and the murmur of conversation.

"So Alex," I lifted my gaze from my mashed potatoes to look at Eliza, "I hear you have a dorm all to yourself."

"She does!" Christy exclaimed. "I hadn't realized how big our dorms were until I saw how huge her room was."

"Lucky," Eliza groused. "You get a room to yourself while I have to share with these two water hogs."

Beth and Christy snorted. "Us water hogs?" Beth pointed at Eliza, "Your the one that uses all the hot water. I have to get up two hours early just to take a thirty minute shower!"

Christy added her own two cents, "And then I have to jump in right after her!"

"Which leaves no water for me!" Eliza complained.

Beth raised a brow, "Well you certainly got enough this morning when you beat the both of us."

I laughed at their exchange. Most likely this wasn't the first time they've argued about this, "I usually leave my room by seven twenty, so if you guys are still having trouble after that you can use my bathroom."

They looked at me gratefully, "Really?"

I nodded, "Yes."

Charity hugged me, "You're my new best friend."

"Hey!" An indignant Beth threw mashed potatoes at us, "I'm your best friend!"

"Well I was her friend first," Eliza there corn at us.

In retaliation I threw a chicken leg dipped in gravy, "And now I'm her favorite."

Eliza gasped as the gravy covered her face. She brought up a hand to wipe it away while I left the mashed potatoes in my hair. "You dare!" Her tone was exaggerated, but she still threw her own piece of chicken at me.

"Yes I dare!" I went to throw my own mashed potatoes at her, but switched my target and rubbed them all over Christy's face.

Beth and Eliza was cracked up and Christy scraped off as much potato as she could. "You asked for it," she took her potatoes and wiped them across my face.

Wiping them away from my eyes I stared her down. While her eyes were on mine I reached for the gravy boat, and when I had a good grip on it I brought it up and dumped it in her head.

Some got on me, but it was totally worth it to see the brown gravy drip around Christy's wide eyes. "Oh," I tilted my head, "that looks good on you." Beth and Eliza started laughing again, and Beth nearly fell off her seat.

By now the four of us were gaining odd looks, and I caught one boy sneering and pointing us out to her friends. Reaching into the bowl of mashed potatoes I grabbed a handful, aimed, and chucked it right at his head.

The Slytherin immediately stilled. The white was darker than his own pale locks. He turned to me, and his blue eyes pierced into my darker ones. He was sneering, "You dare?"

I shrugged, "You were sneering. I thought they would make you feel better."

He continued to sneer at me while scraping out as much of the potatoes as he could, "You are a foolish little girl."

"Foolish enough to do it twice?"

He gave me a searching look, "I should hope not." He continued trying to get the food out of his hair and I sighed, "Isn't there magic that can get that out?"

The blonde boy stopped his actions and slowly brought down his hands, "Come." When he stood up from the table a few people followed him. They walked out of the Great Hall in sync.

"Wow Alex, that took guts."

I looked at the three girls, "Why?"

Christy scoffed, "'Why'? Because that was Lucius Malfoy. The son of the most powerful pureblood family in Britain."

"Oh," now I understood why everybody seemed so shocked by my actions. I should have recognized the hair. "Well then if I see him again I'll apologize."

"Yeah if he doesn't kill you first," Beth mumbled into her food.

I heard someone clear their throat from behind me, and I looked to come face to face with Filius Flitwick. "Hello sir," I usually called him by his first name outside of class, but he looked serious.

"Miss Palmer. I'm afraid I saw your actions towards Mr. Malfoy. Usually that would garner a detention, but since this is your first time acting out I will only take away ten house points."

I nodded, "Of course, sir." If only he knew I was studying to become an illegal animagus.

"Have a good dinner, and um," he looked at the four of us and I saw amusement spark in his eyes, "clean up before bed."

We all chuckled, "Yes sir!"

Flitwick returned to his seat at the staff table, an the four of us returned to our own plates. They were a little decimated, but that was alright.

When dessert appeared I stood up from the table. "Where are you going?"

"I'm not in the mood for dessert, so I'm going to take a shower and do something else," I answered Christy.

"Alright, have fun doing 'something else'."

My escape from the Great Hall was thwarted when somebody else called my name. When I looked I saw James waving me over.

Cautiously approaching I looked at Sirius to see him eyeing me as well, but there was still no recognition in his eyes. "What's up guys?"

"Nothing!" Remus glared at his friends, "You can go."

My eyebrows raised in surprise, "What?"

"We were wondering," James gestured to him, Sirius, and Peter, "if Remus really slept with you last night."

My grin was shark like, "All night."

Sirius wolf whistled, and Remus blushed hotly, "No we didn't! We just slept!"

"Yeah," I agreed, "We were pretty tired."

James and Sirius were laughing while Peter was giggling, and Remus just buried his face in his hands. "Ugh."

"It's alright Remus," I would have patted his back, but he was on the other side of the table, "You have nothing to be ashamed about."

As I walked away I heard Sirius' barking laughter smothering Remus' groaning. I wondered how he hadn't recognized me yet. My appearance could change sure, but not my voice. Maybe it's changed since the five months we were apart. I said a few words to myself as I walked up to Ravenclaw tower. I couldn't hear much of a difference, but I just now realized its lost the French hint it had thanks to being Édouard.

 _Well_ , I thought to myself as I hopped in the shower, _Sirius can be pretty dense._

The thought made me feel better, and for the rest of my shower I thought of when it would be best to reveal myself. This year? Or maybe later?

* * *

 **AN: I'm thinking later. Thoughts?**


	17. Chapter 17

Autumn was rapidly turning into winter. Homework was coming in by the bucket full, and I had to slow down on my reading to get it all finished. I was proud to see I had good marks in almost all of my classes. Theory was fairly easy, and I could do the spell correctly on the third or fourth try.

The one class I was having trouble with was Astronomy. When I told Remus they all looked the same he just laughed at me and tried pointing out the constellations. It worked, but only sometimes.

Some other things I was coming along with were my wandless magic, and animagus transformation. For my wandless training I decided to use my school books as a guide instead of randomly choosing a spell. I could already do _Lumos, Wingardium Leviosa,_ and _Accio_. Along with turning a match into a needle. Three were spells from the books so I was well on my way.

As for my transformation I suspected it was easier for me than anybody else since I was a metamorphmagus. I've already had experience changing my looks; though, I've never turned into an animal. It was odd to see my finger and toe nails turn black and sharpen into points.

Since I was a first year I wasn't allowed to go on the Hogsmead trips. This made it harder for me to go Christmas shopping. It occurred to me one day that I could just ask one of the teachers if I could go.

I brought it up with Flitwick, "Filius, can I go to Hogsmead for some Christmas shopping?" It was a Sunday, so students and a few teachers were going anyway.

Flitwick seemed hesitant so I tried something else, "If you'd like you can come with me."

"I'm afraid I can't go with you," my face fell, "but I will allow you to go–just this once!–to get your shopping done."

I squealed happily, "Thank you sir!" Pulling him into a hug I squeezed him before letting go and running for the front door.

From his place in the corridor Filius Flitwick smiled to himself, "A wonderful girl."

Snow crunched beneath my feet with every step I took. I'd never been to Hogsmead before, and I asked the sixth year Gryffindor's I shared a carriage with where everything was.

Honeydukes was apparently a candy store, so that was the first place I went to. I bought every bit of chocolate items that I could find. I knew Remus still had his monthly illness so I figured this would cheer him up. I would give him a few then save the rest for the future.

I bought a few things for Sirius and James, and then a Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Bean for myself. I've never had much of a chance to have magical candy before. Mother usually bought me mundane ones from the store. I had a good time buying licorice wands and sugar quills.

Another shop I knew Sirius would enjoy was Zonko's. It was a joke shop with the best pranking materials I never would have thought of. I bought a few for myself as well.

For my mother I found a fleece blanket. It was black on one side and had a grizzly bear on the other.

For Lily I found her namesake forever preserved in a glass bubble, and for Severus I had to ask a seventh year to apparate me to Diagon for potions supplies. At first the seventh year thought I was joking, but when he realized I was serious he actually took me. We made a time limit so nobody would find out we left, but we got everything we needed–if a little rushed. As thanks I gave him a couple galleons.

I had to walk all the way back to the castle. The bags were really heavy, and I was worried I would have to carry them the whole way, but an idea formed in my mind. With a simple flick of my wand I had them floating beside me thanks to _Wingardium Leviosa._ I would have done it wandlessly, but I didn't want to do it where someone might see.

Getting up to the seventh floor without anybody noticing proved harder. Most people didn't even care, but somebody might realize I was a first year with bags from Hogsmead. Like a teacher perhaps.

It took some stealthy looks around corners, and some much appreciated help from the portraits (once they knew what I was doing).

Solving the riddle so I could get up to my dorm I ignored the possibility of anybody being in the common room and went straight up to my dorm. Once the door was shut behind me I dropped all of the bags into my bed.

Now I just needed to wrap everything. The only problem was I had no tape or wrapping paper.

"Hm…" I thought for a few minutes before calling the only one who can help me in situations like these, "Mandy?"

After a beat there was a popping sound at the end of my bed, "Miss Alex!"

I opened my arms in time for the excited elf to throw herself at me, "Hey Mandy."

"Miss been gone for so long! The house be quiet without you."

I chuckled, "I'm sure. But Mandy I need your help."

She immediately nodded, "What does Miss need?"

"I need wrapping paper, scissors, and tape."

With another happy nod she popped away, and returned moments later with red, green, and blue rolls of paper. In her small hand was a tape dispenser and a pair of scissors, "Will Miss need anything else?"

I took the items gratefully, "No thank you, Mandy."

"Anything Miss needs, you just call Mandy," with that reassuring message she popped away.

Laying out the red paper I took out the dozens of prank items I bought. I sectioned it into four even piles and wrapped them into four individual presents. Two were for Sirius and two were for James. I would send Sirius and James a package through Hooter, and give the other two in person. Since they didn't know I was actually in the castle I figured I wouldn't give them any hints, the bastards.

For Remus I stacked five chocolate frogs on top of each other and wrapped them in blue paper. The rest of the candy I bought for him was put into my trunk. I ate Bertie Beans as I wrapped. Each one was different, and I got a nasty surprise when one tasted like bleach.

With the green paper I wrapped my mothers blanket and Severus' potion ingredients, along with vials charmed to be unbreakable. He mentioned the Marauders making him trip, and he broke a couple in the process.

The Marauders were known for targeting Severus, and Sirius even said why in one of his letters to me. Apparently they though Severus was the one who got them wet on the boat ride to the castle. Some of the things he said were actually rather horrible. "He's a slimy snake," a "lying rat", and the worst was when he boasted about all of the things he did to him. Charming his pants to fall down when he was mid-stride so he falls over, changing his underwear to white with red hearts, making his clothes disappear when he walked through doorways. They were all brilliant pieces of magic, but the way they were using it was just plain bullying.

Lily made sure to tell them exactly what she thought of them. According to her they were all bullying toe-rags whose heads were too big for their shoulders. She even asked a rhetorical, "How is Alex even friends with you?"

I had been standing next to her when she said this, and at first they all looked at me, but when they saw my confused look they knew she was talking about "Sirius' Alex". Which was really me, but they didn't know that.

Sirius got upset at that and started yelling about how to "Leave Alex out of this!" and "How do you know about her anyway!".

Lily looked panicked, so I jumped in, "I mentioned it to her." They accepted this, but apparently the remark really struck a chord with him.

I could tell in his next letter when he asked about any friends I had in school. I didn't use last names, but I mentioned Charity, Beth, and Eliza. We never saw each other during class, but I'd see them in the corridors, and sit with them during dinner. At breakfast I sat with Edmund while lunch was spent with Severus and Lily.

Hooter has, thankfully, forgiven me for shoving him out the window. It took two full bags of treats to get him to look at me, and half of another bag to get him to send my letters.

Something I started working on was the map idea I thought of. It didn't have to be anything elaborate, I just wanted to be able to ask for the quickest route somewhere, and then have whatever I was using tell me where to go. Like Siri on the iPhone. Which wouldn't come out for another couple decades.

I took a small journal and applied different spells that might have worked. Unfortunately none of the spells turned out how I imagined. I figured I would somehow need to connect the book to the castle wards–so it could have a blueprint of the castle, and then I needed some sort of variation of the spell _Point Me_.

The only problem was I had no idea how to connect a book to a ward.

One morning I sent Hooter off with a letter to my mother, asking if I could stay at Hogwarts for the holidays. That way I could utilize the library while nobody else was there.

I got my reply a few days later in the morning mail. He landed next to my plate, and I have him a slice of bacon before taking the letter. Thankfully mother said it was alright for me to stay for break.

I got up from my table to put my name on the sign-up sheet in the Ravenclaw common room (for students who were staying at Hogwarts for the holidays), when the Marauders joined me at the doorway.

"Alex my dear," Sirius settled his arm across my shoulders and I didn't bother pushing it off, "dear Alex. I couldn't help but notice the beautiful owl that gave you a letter this morning."

My breath got caught in my throat, _Is this it? Has he finally realized it's me?_ "Yes he's very pretty. Why?"

Sirius removed his arm and stood in front of me, effectively blocking my way, "Hooter is the owl I use to send Alex my letters. I haven't gotten a single letter from her for two days."

Internally deflating I got snappish, "So what?"

"I couldn't send her letter because you were using her owl!"

I threw my hands up in exasperation, "Why didn't you just use a school owl then?"

"Because we use Hooter!" Sirius snapped back. "How'd you even get him anyway? He only ever comes to my dorm."

With an irritated growl I shoved passed him, "If you can't figure it out then I'm not going to bother telling you!" He didn't stop me, but I heard him yell after me to "not use Hooter again!".

On the outside I screamed I frustration while I internally yelled at myself, _He's such an idiot! Hint after hint is slapping him in the face, and he just doesn't get it! He'll probably blame Remus or Peter for giving me Hooter, or something stupid like that. Honestly, he's so hopeless sometimes. If he can't figure it out for himself then I'm not going to tell him at all._

As it turns out Sirius went home for winter break, and I was a little relieved. I wasn't sure how I would have dealt with it if he was one of the few people to stay behind.

The people staying in the castle for break were me, a couple upper year Gryffindor's, Remus, Severus and Lily, a second year Hufflepuff, and Beth.

I gave Hooter my Christmas letters for mother, James, and Sirius, then used Mandy to send their presents. All of them together were a bit too heavy for Hooter, and there was the risk of him dropping one.

When Christmas morning arrived there was a decent pile of presents at the end of my bed. Mother gave me a knitted blue and bronze scarf, Beth Christy and Eliza all sent chocolate (like I did for them), Remus gave me a book that I was pleasantly surprised to note I haven't read yet, and Lily and Severus sent a joint gift of a charm bracelet. There was a lion, a snake, and a raven charm decorating the silver chain.

Sirius gave me a blue sweater while James sent a gold and red tie that I assumed to belong to him. Or used to.

Taking the gifts I hadn't been able to send I shoved them inside of my bag. It would have been nice to know how to get them at the end of their beds, but oh well.

I set out across the castle to try and find them all. Remus was eating breakfast so I set his next to his plate, and I found Severus and Lily in the library. Which was perfect since I needed to be there anyway.

Since I was looking for a book about connecting things to already set up wards I assumed it would be in the ward section of the library. Not to mention on a higher reading level.

I grabbed a book that listed all different kinds of runes, and some books on wards before taking a seat in my usual dark corner. Taking the ward book I looked through the table of contents for any promising chapters. This cycle continued for hours until I told myself, _One more book, then I'm done._

The one I found was rather thick, and listed a chapter on ward making. It was the best I'd found all day, so I checked it out with the rune book and took them up to my dorm room.

For the rest of the day I practiced my rune drawing. Thanks to my years of guitar playing I had some skill at it. I wasn't an artist by any means, but I was decent enough.

I found a rune that symbolized direction. I practiced writing it on a piece of parchment to perfect it before writing it on the inside corner of the journal's cover. On the bottom corner I wrote the rune symbolizing path and another that actually meant map.

With the warding book I found a chapter that mentioned a ward stone. It was something that connected all of the wards together. If I could find a spell that would reveal what wards were being used then that would help me connect them to the journal.

Flipping through the ward book I didn't find anything. This led to another trip to the library where I looked through simpler books. Those had a better possibility of having a spell that revealed wards.

Turns out I was right, and there was a spell that revealed wards. I thanked whatever God was up there and checked out that book as well. The librarian pursed her lips, but checked it out anyway.

Taking my three library books, a pen, my journal, and pieces of scratch paper I went out onto the grounds. Naturally I forgot gloves, a scarf, and my wool robe, but I was too excited to go all the way back up to the seventh floor and get them so I didn't.

Placing my wand on my open palm I took a deep breath, "Point me: Hogwarts ward stone."

I watched as my wand twirled around a few times and stop. It was pointing a little east of where I was facing. The fact that it actually worked made me want to jump for joy.

Taking off at a sprint I ran in the direction the wand was pointing me in. It was taking me straight towards the quidditch pitch, and I ended up going straight towards the stands. I tried walking around, but my wand continuously pointed towards the pitch. Eventually I realized the stone must have been _inside_ of the stadium.

To get inside I had to redo the _Point Me_ spell since I had no clue where it was. It was practically on the other side of where I was standing, but eventually I made it to the gate.

Once through the, apparently unlocked, gate I did the _Point Me_ spell for a third time and ran in the direction it pointed. I was ready to run to the other side, but once I passed the middle my wand pointed right back around. Screeching to a halt I slowly stepped backwards until my wand was spinning in lazy circles. Looking down I saw I was smack dab in the middle of the pitch.

I was not going to dig through the middle of the pitch, so I sat down and pulled everything out of my bag. After looking for another rune I thought would be helpful I practiced it on the parchment before adding it to the inside cover. "Bind" seemed fairly appropriate for what I was doing and figured it would be alright.

Taking my discarded wand I looked at the relatively simple spell. The wand movement was in the shape of a cursive L, and at the end I had to point it where the wad stone would be.

The spell was supposed to be easy, but it proved otherwise when I went ten tries before getting it right.

I knew I did it right because the space in front of me burst into a rainbow of colors while a sheet of parchment shot out of my wand with a long list of what must have been the wards. When the list was done the colors slowly faded away, and it took me a second to realize–somebody probably saw that.

Shoving everything in my bag without caring if I damaged it I raced for the gate and closed it behind me. There was no way I was going through the main entrance so I ran in a completely different direction that I was pretty sure led to the back of the castle.

I found the doorway that the first years used to get to the Herbology greenhouses. It was locked, but a few tries at _Alohamora_ unlocked it. When I got inside I shut the door as gently as possible. There was a sense of relief in me, but then I realized they could still see my footprints in the snow.

Now freaking out I ran in the direction of Ravenclaw tower. It was a tiring six flight run, but I made it–gasping for breath she doing so–and leaned against the wall with the eagle knocker. As usual he gave out his riddle, but I had to catch my breath before even attempting to answer.

I was let in and I immediately went up to my dorm room. Once inside I threw my bag in the direction of me bed and ran for the window. I stayed there for a good hour, and there was never any sign of a teacher heading out to check what happened.

It was a huge weight off of my shoulders. I didn't want to know what would happen if Dumbledore found out I was trying to find out what wards were protecting Hogwarts. Give me detention? Expel me? Think I was working for Voldemort?

The new Dark Lord was making himself very well known. Him and his Death Eaters had no mercy. They ransacked towns, and killed multitudes of mundanes. People were calling him darker than Grindlewald, and some were beginning to fear his name.

My first encounter with him actually made front page news. Of course it didn't look like me, since I had the body of a seventeen year old boy, but I was mentioned in several different newspapers. The journalists either wondered if I would step up again, or used me as a figurehead for courage.

In all honesty I hadn't done anything, but they caught me protecting James and Sirius then take down Lord Macnair. He was the head of a wealthy pureblood family. Emphasis on was. Now he's serving his time in Azkaban.

Sirius and James thought it was all very cool, but I was just grateful they don't know my real identity. This I had to stress with Sirius and James over letters.

Dumping everything out of my bag I made a mental note to try and avoid future confrontations with Voldemort. Nothing good could come out of them.

Finding the list that was made from my wand I skimmed through all of the wards that are being used to protect Hogwarts. There were a good thirty spells woven together to create one giant ward. From the names of some of them I pitied any soul who wished harm on this place. It was like a fortress.

Naturally I had no idea what any of the spells really did. I could make guesses, but nothing concrete. I would have to make another trip to the library to see of there were any books that could help me.

But for now I just really wanted to take a nap. All the excitement I just experienced was more than I had in a long time, and I haven't had a nap in years.

* * *

 **AN: Has her escapade gone unnoticed?**


	18. Chapter 18

After waking up from my nap I immediately wished I hadn't. My nose was stuffed up, i had a pounding headache, and my body was in a cold sweat. Placing the back of my hand proved that I most likely had a fever. It seems my jaunt out into the cold without anything to cover myself with gave me a cold.

It was a chore to get from Ravenclaw tower to the Hospital Wing. There were a few close calls where I almost threw up, but thankfully I could just lay my head against the cold stone walls and the urge would disappear.

When I finally made it to the Hospital Wing I took it upon myself to find a bed. The matron wasn't in sight, and I wasn't feeling up to searching for her.

I was laying on the crisp white sheets for about five minutes before the matron walked out of her office and saw me, "Oh dear! What are you doing here?" She bustled over to me and felt my forehead the same way I had, "Goor Merlin, you're burning up!"

She left my line of sight, and I heard a door creak open, followed by the clinking of glasses. The door shut and the matron walked towards me with potion filled vials in her hand. "Take this for the fever," she uncorked a lime green potion and I downed it with a grimace. "And this one," she handed me the red potion, "will send you to sleep. You should feel significantly better when you wake up."

Taking the potion without question I sighed a drowsy "thank you" before the darkness of sleep overtook me.

The next time I woke up the afternoon sun was drifting through the Wing's windows. I could breathe through my nose, and my head no longer felt like it was hit by a bus, though it still aches behind my eyes.

"Ah, good morning Miss Palmer!"

I turned my head to see none other than Albus Dumbledore wearing his usual flamboyantly colored robes. Today they were magenta with yellow swirls. "Hello, sir."

"We missed you at the feast last night," his eyes were twinkling madly behind half-moon spectacles, "Now I know why."

My lips twitched in a nervous smile, "I don't mean to be rude sir, but, why are you here?"

He chuckled and pat my hand reassuringly, "It's quite alright my dear. I just wanted to check on you. This weather can be quite dangerous to your health."

My chuckle was filled with nerves, "Yes Professor."

"Much too cold for anybody to be taking a trip to the quidditch pitch."

I gulped because I knew that he knew that I went out onto the quidditch pitch the day before. "I completely agree, sir."

"I hope that, should anybody go to the pitch, they don't find anything that could get them in trouble."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, "It seems I'm already in trouble."

"No my dear," he pat my hand again. "But it is safe to say what you did should not be done again." Dumbledore peered over his glasses seriously. His usual twinkle missing.

"I know sir. I don't plan to either."

"Then that's also good." He stood up, and the armchair he'd been sitting in disappeared, "I also believe it important to tell you the light show that appeared over the castle was quite beautiful." My cringe nearly had me under the covers. I didn't question who put them on me, and at that moment I didn't particularly care. "You must also know that those lights are not to be trifled with. They can be dangerous when the wrong person sees them."

"I know sir," my voice cracked. "I'm just doing a little personal project."

"Oh?" His eyebrows rose. "Well I'd love to see it once it's done."

"As long as it works." I smiled in relief when he chuckled. It seemed I wasn't in too much trouble, but I wondered how he found out.

Dumbledore bobbed his head before heading for the Hospital doors. When they shut the matron immediately shuffled out of her office and came over to me, "Let's see how you're doing then."

She waved her wand and a sheet of paper came out. It reminded me of when I the sheet of spells for Hogwarts' ward. "You're a little warm, but nothing a day of bed rest won't cure."

I bit the inside of my cheek, "Thank you ma'am. Could I spend the day in my dorm then?"

The matron hesitated, but only for a moment, "If you can make it up there without getting dizzy then yes. Otherwise you come right back here."

With a grateful nod I threw off the white sheets and slowly lowered myself to the ground. I felt so much better than I had on my trip to the Hospital Wing that I sashayed out the door.

I made it to the sixth floor before a dizzy spell finally hit me, but there was no way I was traveling back down three flights of stairs. My head was screaming at me by the time I entered the common room, and when I saw the stairs I had to climb to get to my dorm I debated whether or not I should just lay on the couch.

The idea of my soft bed was too tempting, so I pushed through the pain and dragged myself up the too-many-stairs to make it into my dorm. I'd never been so grateful to see my bed.

All of my stuff from my trip outside was still sitting on my bed. I didn't bother moving it when I dropped on the unoccupied side. My half-lidded eyes gazed at the items without really seeing them. Dumbledore knew what I did, but he wasn't angry and didn't punish me. Why? He also said the wards were dangerous, but only when others saw them.

Maybe…maybe by someone seeing them he meant someone tied to Voldemort. If he got his hands on the spells protecting Hogwarts then he would have the knowledge of how to invade the castle.

Well didn't that just make my mood even worse? I had what could possibly be the key to Hogwarts' downfall. These were probably things only Dumbledore knew, and now some (supposedly) eleven year old girl knew them as well. Not to mention I had to study each one to find out what they did–not that Dumbledore knew that, but he could assume that's what I'll do.

Slowly reaching over I plucked the list from the messy pile and squinted against my headache. None of the spells were familiar to me. Most likely it meant they weren't in any of the books I owned. It would make sense though. If these wards have been here for centuries then I was going to need an older set of books.

With a heavy sigh I let my arm fall to the side. My eyes closed, and I was dragged into the comfort that was sleep.

Hours later, when the moon was high in the sky, I woke up with a small jolt. I'd been having some odd dream, and it abruptly ended with something involving a cliff. I was never able to remember my dreams, but they weren't important anyway.

Sighing tiredly I happily noticed that my headache was gone, and I felt one hundred percent better. It was with great joy that I created a ball of light and began reading the beginner ward book. There was some rather enlightening information that I believed could be used on my map.

Pulling over the list of spells I looked for one with a more obvious title. It's not like I could go around trying to find thirty different books just to learn what they all were. Most of them weren't even necessary for me to use. I'd probably need one, maybe two of them.

There was one that sounded like some sort of analysis spell. It looked pretty good to me, and I was so ready to do this that I decided to use that.

If I could just take my journal and use a binding spell to connect it to the wards then maybe that would work. It sounded so much easier than whatever the hell I'd been trying to do before. I was just winging this whole thing.

One of the books in my trunk had something like a copying spell. Although I had no clue which one it was. It was like the messenger spell Remus helped me find. I knew it was here, just not where.

By now I was completely awake, and I could be seen sitting at the floor in front of my trunk with book after book stacked on top of each other.

The sun was just peeking above the treetops of the Forbidden Forest when I finally found it. It was a simple copying spell that would usually be done on somebody's notes, but I hoped it would work on other spells.

I pointed my wand at the runes in my journal and looked at the spells directions. It just said to use the spell ( _Effingo_ ), and then right afterwards say what I wanted to copy. All in all it seemed relatively simple.

"Effingo Collocare." Nothing happened. "Effigies Collocare." Flipping through the pages I tried to find any visible signs of the spell, but there wasn't any. Looking down the list I tried another one, "Effingo Resolvere." Still nothing.

With a frustrated sigh I shut the journal. There must have been something I was missing. I was probably going about this all wrong, but I had no idea what it was. Probably because I didn't even have a single year of magic schooling under my belt.

Rolling up the list of spells I tucked it into the book I was currently reading and started organizing everything out of my trunk. I put all of my dirty clothes on the floor against one of the windows while my many books were stacked, and pushed against the wall next to my bed with the spines facing out. It was much easier than putting them all back into the trunk.

There was a knock on my door, "Come in!"

The door swung open to reveal Beth waiting for me, "You want to get some breakfast?"

Nodding my bed I put the books with the list of spells into my trunk and closed it. For now that's where it would stay until I figured out how to best dispose of it. "Let's go."

Closing the door behind me Beth and I made our way through the common room and out of Ravenclaw tower.

* * *

 **AN: I was honestly thinking of waiting until their fifth year for him to find out. I know that's a long time, but I'd like to think there's a method to my madness**


	19. Chapter 19

Winter break ended quickly and soon all of the students were back in the castle. The teachers wasted no time in assigning everybody homework.

During break I had put off my journal, and now that I was busy with the sudden influx of friends and class work I forgot all about it; though, it was still tucked in my bag. I hadn't realized how many people I knew until they were all taking up my schedule. Lily and Severus weren't bad, neither was Remus. Edmund and I continued doing our homework under the tree by the lake, and Christy, Beth, and Eliza started pulling me into "girls night" every few days a week.

I didn't let those nights interfere with my animagus transformations. My hands were slowly turning into paws, and brown fur was beginning to make its way up the rest of my arms.

Classes were passing quickly and were fairly easy. The hardest part of my days was watching Sirius continue to be obvious to who I really was. Lily occasionally asked what I was going to do about it, but each time my answer was "I don't know". I don't go out of my way to talk to him or James, but Remus and I were getting pretty close. He even introduced me to Peter once, but I didn't talk to him often.

Spring break was spent at home where I watched tv with mother and an overly happy Barney. Hooter came home with me as well so I could send Sirius our daily letters. Unfortunately they were no longer daily since our sudden distance made Hooter's travels longer.

After break I went back to Hogwarts to finish off my first year. As finals were coming in, and teachers were throwing on piles of homework I finally realized the year was almost over. I was twelve by now–a birthday celebrated by only Sirius and my mother since I never told anybody else about it–and I took a moment to walk around the school and take everything in.

"What are you doing?"

I paused one walk at the familiar voice, "I'm just going for a walk." I looked at Sirius and felt an ache in my heart.

He looked at me weirdly, "Why?"

"Because the year will be over in a few days," I turned around and continued my leisurely walk.

"So what? We'll be back in a few months," despite his words he fell into step beside me.

"Even so. Next year will be over before we know it, and then the next year and the next. We only have so much time to spend in these hallways, and I want to be able to remember every nook and cranny."

We walked for several minutes before Sirius sighed, "Well this is boring."

I huffed, "Where are your friends?" _Besides me._

"Remus is in the … _library_ ," Sirius mock shuddered at the word, and I shook my head at him, "Peter is packing his trunk, and I don't know where James is."

"Doesn't 'your Alex' like the library?"

Sirius looked at me suspiciously, "How would you know?"

Automatically I replied with, "Remus." He was always my go-to response.

"Remus seems to tell you a lot about my Alex."

Hearing him personally call me his made me smile slightly. The fact they gave me that name was kind of adorable. "We talk in Astronomy class. She comes up sometimes." It took a conscious effort on my part to use myself in second person.

"Why does he talk about Alex?" Sirius demanded.

"I don't know, Sirius. Maybe he likes her," it was an off-handed comment, but it made Sirius narrow his eyes.

"He likes her?" He whirled around and stood in front of me.

"What? No! Ugh," I rubbed my face with my hands, "I just said that as a joke, okay?" I thought of something, "Why'd you get so worked up about it?"

Sirius relaxed, "Cause she's my best mate. I have to watch out for her."

That was one of the sweetest things I'd ever heard someone say about me. So sweet I couldn't have stopped myself from hugging him if I tried, "Sirius that was the nicest thing you've ever said!"

At first Sirius just stood there with his arms limp, but then he began struggling against me, "Get off, Alex!"

I immediately let go. I wasn't "his Alex", so any affection I gave probably wasn't appreciated. "Sorry."

He huffed and made a show of brushing off his robes. "Have fun on your walk," with a wave of his hand he walked in the opposite direction.

I watched him walk away with a sad sigh. A whole year in the same castle, and not once did he recognize me. It wasn't completely his fault, even though there were some telling hints. I never outright came up to him and told him I was "his Alex". I also haven't changed my features outside of my dorm room. That would have been a pretty good give away.

"Hey Alex!" I spun around to see Edmund coming my way, "Ready to go home? Cause I am!"

I smiled at him. Edmund was a good friend: funny, loyal. He had his faults of course, but doesn't everybody? "I'm ready as I'll ever be." Taking my place beside him we started walking up to Ravenclaw tower.

* * *

 **AN: I know this one was super short, but I had a bit of writers block and decided I needed to wrap up first year. We still have six more to get through.**


	20. Chapter 20

Summer break was a great way to unwind from the stress of my first year. There was homework that needed to be done, but I got that out of the way soon enough. Now all I had to worry about was sending letters to everybody.

I had to use Hooter to send all of my letters. Lily occasionally wrote, Severus sent a single "have a good summer" letter (to which I responded in kind), then Beth, Eliza, and Christy sent me letters as well. Eliza and Christy thankfully had their own owls we could use, but Hooter had to fly rather far to reach Beth. This left Sirius. Our daily letters were struggling under to come daily by using just Hooter, so I used Hooter to send my letter, and Sirius sent his own hawk with his response.

Unlike during spring break Sirius was home, so our letters reached each other within a day.

I could tell all of this flying was tiring Hooter out, so I made sure to keep his water and food bowls full. Along with a treat or two on the windowsill.

During the summer I remembered Lily giving me her address in one of her letters. It made an idea spark in my mind, and I went to Diagon to buy her what was, in my opinion, the cutest gift ever.

Lily had been understandably surprised to see me on her doorstep, and even more surprised to see a brown and white calico kitten with a pink bow tied around its neck.

At first all Lily could do was stare, but then she smiled happily and ushered me inside, "Hello Alex! What are you doing here?"

"I decided to surprise you. Is that okay, or are you busy?"

Lily shook her head, "No it's fine, and you did surprise me." She scratched the kitten behind her ear, "And who's this?"

"I don't know," I handed the kitten over, "you haven't named her yet."

The kitten was laying contentedly in Lily's arms, not knowing she was a complete surprise. "You want me to name her?"

"She is yours."

Lily's eyes changed from confusion to shock, "What?"

"Yeah," I shrugged like giving people kittens was an every day thing, "I never found out when your birthday was, so I figured she could be your belated–or early–birthday present."

Lily was staring at me with a gaping mouth that only shut when a woman's voice sounded from what must have been the kitchen. "Lily, who was at the door?"

Her mouth snapped shut, and she called back, "It's Alex!"

Footsteps sounded, and from the doorway leading to the kitchen was a woman with wavy blonde hair and kind blue eyes. "Oh! It's nice to meet you. Are you one of Lily's friends from…school?"

I wasn't sure what the hesitation was for, "Yeah, we met on the train." The woman relaxed. She must not have been sure if I was from Hogwarts or a mundane school.

"Mum, look at what Alex gave me!" Lily held out the kitten. On cue the kitten opened her brown splotched nose and meowed.

I saw the woman's blue eyes soften, "She is adorable, but we don't have anything to take care of her with."

"Oh don't worry," I waved my hand dismissively, "I can get everything."

The woman's eyes widened in surprise, "I couldn't ask you to do that!"

"That's okay. I got the kitten, so I can get all of her supplies. It's the least I could do considering I just dumped her on you." I turned to Lily, "You can come and help me pick everything out if you'd like?"

Lily nodded excitedly, "Can I mum?"

Her mother stood in thought for a few minutes before deciding, "That's fine. We'll have to go tonight though. She'll need food and a litter box…" she trailed off in thought and disappeared into the kitchen. She came back out with a purse over her shoulder. "Petunia!"

There was silence before a door from the second floor could be heard opening, "What?!"

"Come down here!"

There was an irritated sigh that had me smiling. I'd gone through two teenage years, and dealt with my own teenagers once. Hopefully during this life I could handle any teenager that came my way.

"What?" The girl standing at the base of the steps was older than both me and Lily. Her arms were crossed, and her dull blue eyes narrowed. She had a fairly long neck, and her features looked naturally pinched. Her hair was a straw blonde. I had to wonder how she and Lily were related.

"Your sister's friend is here, and she brought a gift."

I have a thoughtful frown, _Sisters? They look absolutely nothing alike._ "It's nice to meet you, Petunia was it?"

She sneered at me, and when she saw the kitten her eyes widened, "What is that?!"

Her high-pitched shriek made the kitten flatten her ears, and Lily brought her closer to her chest in a protective gesture, "Alex gave her to me. It's a belated birthday gift."

Petunia scoffed, "Birthday gift? Your birthday was back in January."

I blinked rapidly, "Wow I really did miss it." I turned to Lily, "If it makes you feel better mine is April 14th."

Lily smiled, letting me know it was alright, "January 30th."

Petunia sneered, "Well aren't you two the best of friends now. Does she go to the freak school too?"

Before Lily or her mother could say anything I placed my foot forward, " _She_ does go to Hogwarts. And _she_ is standing right here."

Petunia flushed, "It doesn't matter anyway. You can't do any of your–your _freakish_ magic here."

I chuckled darkly, "Can't I?" With a mental push my entire body changed into the spitting image of a twelve year old Édouard Beaulieu.

Everybody in the room took a surprised step backwards. "Alex!" Lily's tone was surprised, worried, and reprimanding all at once, "You can't do magic outside of Hogwarts! You'll be expelled!"

"You can't do magic with a wand," I pointed out. It was odd since a metamorphmagus could only change their looks, not their voices. I was a boy with a girls voice, "I'm a metamorphmagus, which doesn't require a wand, and I can't get in trouble for it."

Lily gasped, "I read about them! You can change your features into anything!" I nodded, and as proof I turned into an exact replica of Lily.

"Oh my," the faint voice came from Lily's mother, "There's two of you."

Worried about the woman's reaction I switched back to look like my usual self. "So," I coughed awkwardly, "shall we go?"

Mrs. Evans nodded, "Yes, that's a wonderful idea. Petunia you'll have to come with."

"What?" Petunia stomped her foot. It was so childish I snorted, which gained a glare that wouldn't scare a kitten, "Why do I have to go?"

"Because your father isn't back yet, and I can't leave you home alone."

"I'm thirteen years old mum! I can take care of myself."

"Ha!" Everybody looked at me, but my eyes were trained on Petunia's, "So you're saying if a man with a gun breaks into your house you can incapacitate him before he shoots you?"

Petunia flushed in embarrassed anger, "I can lock the door."

"What if he breaks through the window?" No retort was given, and I took that as a victory.

"Well," Mrs. Evans cleared her throat, "let's head to the market now."

"Oh!" I scratched my head in embarrassment, "I only have galleons on me since I'd planned on going to Diagon Alley."

Lily gasped, "Could we go to Diagon, mum? We could get my school supplies as well."

Mrs. Evans nodded, "I see no problem with it."

"Yes!" Lily jumped up and down cheerfully. Something her new kitten didn't like at all. She squirmed out of her arms and bolted from the room. Her actions made Lily smile sheepishly, "Oops."

I laughed, "Come on. We can get my stuff as well."

Lily immediately started shooting off questions, "You got your results? What were your grades?"

We filed out of the house, and Petunia sat up front with her mother while I answered Lily's questions in the back, "I got an Outstanding in everything except Astronomy. In that class I got an Exceeds Expectations. The theory was easy enough, but I can't find a constellation to save my life."

Lily laughed, "I got the same as you, but my Exceeds Expectations was in Defense."

"I could try helping you in Defense," I offered.

"That would be really helpful. I only need help with the spell casting itself. Theory is easy. If you'd like I could help you in Astronomy?"

"No thanks, Remus is helping me."

Lily nodded in understanding, "Does Sirius know it's you yet?"

I sighed, "No I haven't told him, and he hasn't figured it out either."

"You should tell him," Lily scolded me.

I agreed, "He deserves to know, but I'm not sure how to tell him. It's not like he would realize it at first anyway since we're both named Alex. He'd think I was messing with him."

"Does he know you're a metamorphmagus?"

"Yeah."

"Then change your features in front of him," Lily said it like it was the most obvious solution ever. "You could go in looking like whoever, and then confess and change back into your usual self."

I nodded along to what she was saying, "That could work. Should I do it during the school year then?"

"Probably. It might be easier for him to believe that way."

Mrs. Evans suddenly parked by the curb, "We're here!"

We all filed out of the car. Lily and I had to lead the way to The Leaky Cauldron since her mother and Petunia couldn't see it.

The inside was as dingy as always. Lily would have asked the bartender to open the way to Diagon Alley, but I pulled her forward, "I know how to get through."

When we were in the back alley Petunia made a derisive remark, but we all ignored her and instead watched as I tapped my wand on the correct bricks. Anything Petunia would have said was stopped as she saw the bricks slowly file apart.

Diagon was magical as always. From the people dressed in robes, to the shops with moving pictures in the windows. Instead of getting the kitten her supplies we got our school things first.

We went to the bookstore and bought two of each book on the list. One for me and the other for Lily. As for me I also got a few books to read in any free time I might have during the school year.

Lily would have bought more quills, but I stopped her by pointing out pens were so much easier. She exclaimed about how she "didn't think of it!" and just bought more parchment. Along with the books and parchment we got a couple new school robes since the others were now too small, and new potion utensils.

Our last stop was the pet store. Lily had a fun time picking out a pink collar and some toys, while her mother found the food and cat litter.

"Do you think Rose would like this?" She held up a small toy mouse filled with catnip.

I raised a brow, "Rose?"

Lily nodded, "That's her name."

Petunia, who was standing some ways behind us, scoffed, "That's a stupid name."

I saw the hurt flash in Lily's green eyes, and before she cod open her mouth I retorted, "It's better than _Petunia_."

Petunia whirled around with red cheeks, "It is not!"

I chuckled, "Isn't it?"

Before any more words could be thrown Mrs. Evans came back, "Are you girls ready?"

We nodded, though Petunia's was more angrily, and we brought all of the kitten items up to the counter. The guy rang them all up, and I put all of the required galleons on the counter. Any change was put back into my money pouch.

on our way back to the car Mrs. Evans asked if I wanted her to carry any of my bags. "No thank you, Mrs. Evans."

"None of that 'Mrs. Evans' stuff. Call me Heather."

"Yes Mrs. Evans," I said her last name teasingly this time.

All of the bags were put in the trunk of the car, and we all got into the same places we were in before. Lily was animatedly talking about how she was going to meet Severus the next day, while I listened quietly. There was only one time when I tried to meet with Sirius, but his parents had him under house arrest.

Back at the Evans home I helped them bring in the bags, but I kept mine in my hands. "How are you getting home Alex?" Lily asked.

"The same way I got here. Mandy!"

A pop sounded in the living room with us, "What does Miss Alex needs?"

"Could you take me home?"

Mandy bobbed her head, and I heard four different voices ask, "What is that?!" The fourth voice came from the front door, and we all looked to see a tall man with dark brown hair and light green eyes staring at me and Mandy with startled eyes.

"Samuel!" Heather went up to what must have been her husband, "This is one of Lily's friends from school, Alex."

Samuel nodded in hesitant understanding, "And what is that thing next to her?"

"Oh!" Mandy suddenly exclaimed, "Are yous all muggles?"

"Mandy," my tone was reprimanding. "That wasn't nice to ask."

"Mandy is sorry," she bowed to the occupants of the room. "I be a houself."

"What's a houself?" Lily was looking at Mandy in open curiosity.

"We are help for wizarding families!"

I grimaced, "Their kind of like the slaves of the wizarding world." It wasn't the nicest thing to say, but it was true.

Lily and her mother gasped, "Their slaves?"

Mandy shook her head, "No! We be houselves! We love doing what we're told!"

I chuckled, "Come on Mandy, let's go." She grasped my hand, and I looked up to wave goodbye to the Evans family, "Bye. I'll see you in school Lily." They all waved back (except for Petunia), and Mandy disappeared with a pop, taking us both back home.

* * *

 **AN: Someone suggested having Remus find out who she is first, and since I had been thinking of it as well I'll be doing that. I know it's taking a super long time for Sirius to find out, but I want it this way. Her accent has changed–however slightly–he also doesn't know her last name at Hogwarts since he wasn't paying attention during the sorting. He'll find out, it'll just take a while because I'm setting everything up. I'd tell you what, but that would give it away.**


	21. Chapter 21

All too soon it was September 1st, and I was on the Hogwarts Express to go back to the castle. I was sitting in a compartment with Christy, Beth, and Eliza for the end of the ride. When I first got on the train I said hello to the Marauders before Edmund dragged me off. He and I talked about what we did for break before I left to find Lily and Severus.

When I found them we talked about our summers, like I had been doing with Edmund. I was pleasantly surprised to see Lily had brought Rose, the kitten I'd given her several days earlier. Severus didn't find her nearly as pleasant. Lily and I thought that was pretty funny since the kitten sat in his lap the entire time I was there.

After sitting with them for a few hours I decided to find Christy and them. We got caught up with each other, and afterwards Beth challenged Eliza to a game of Exploding Snap. I didn't play since I had no idea what it was, but I had fun watching the cards blow up in their faces.

"How can you play this game?" I asked them. They only shrugged and said it was fun. It made no sense to me, but I didn't bother trying to stop them.

At one point the trolley came by, and I bought myself a pack of Bertie's Beans. I enjoyed the surprise each bean gave me. Hershey chocolate would always be my favorite candy, but the Beans were a close second.

When the train was pulling into the station the four of us got off and rode in the same carriage. It was my first time riding in one, and it surprised me when I realized there was nothing pulling them. "Where are the horses?"

Christy closed the carriage door, "There aren't any."

"Then how is the carriage moving?" They all looked at me like I was stupid, and said, "magic" at the same time. It made me blush in embarrassment. I probably should have known that, but there was something about it that bothered me. Not knowing why it did I just brushed it off as nothing.

"I hope we get more Ravens than last year," Beth commented.

"Same," Christy nodded. "It's not fair that Gryffindor always gets most of the first years."

"I'm sure there will be more than last year," I absently reassured them. The three of them began guessing how many first years would become Ravenclaws. Beth bet four, Eliza bet three, Christy bet five, and I bet six. There weren't that many first years to begin with, so one of us would most likely have the correct number.

The ride to the castle was the quick part. Once inside the Great Hall we all had to wait at the table for Mcgonnagal to lead in the first years. I hadn't realized how long of a wait it was since I had been in that side chamber last year, but now that I was waiting to eat dinner I impatiently counted the seconds.

When the Hall doors opened it allowed Mcgonnagal to lead in a large group of eleven year olds. They all looked extremely nervous, though some tried to hide it.

Just like last year Mcgonnagal stood next to the rickety stool while the Sorting Hat began singing its song. The look of surprise on the first years faces were priceless.

I leaned closer to Beth, "Do you think I looked like that last year?"

Beth looked thoughtful, "Probably."

With a huff I looked back to see the first eleven year old be sorted into Hufflepuff. Four sorts later finally gave us a new Ravenclaw, to which we clapped politely. When we got to three first years Eliza was looking anxious, but that changed when we were given our fourth member. We actually made it to five before the sorting finished. Two boys and three girls.

"Ha," Christy exclaimed mockingly, "I was right "

I was tempted to throw my food at her to get rid of her unnecessarily smug face, but I held back. It would most likely dissolve into us throwing food at each other like we had last year.

"So Alex," I looked at Eliza, "can we still use your bathroom in the mornings?"

Her question made me chuckle, "If you really need to, then yes." My answer pleased all three of them.

When dessert was finished the Prefects led the first years up to the tower. The rest of the house was already on its way up the main staircase, and it was pretty crowded since the Gryffindors were going up as well.

I was bumped into more than a few times. At one point I was shoved away from my friends and almost fell down the stairs. With the amount of times I'd been knocked around before that it made me angry. So angry that my hair turned a deep red color.

I closed my eyes and started taking deep breaths, "I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm okay, I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

My eyes snapped open to see a familiar boy standing right in front of me, "Remus?"

He looked at me in confusion until his eyes lit up, "Alex?" The light was gone, and confusion came back to take its place, "Did you dye your hair?"

"Uh…" my name was called from further up the staircase. I recognized the voice as Edmunds, and in reflex my hair returned to its smokey black color. "Yeah!"

Remus was looking at me with wide eyes, and the confusion there strengthened, "Did your hair just–?"

"Hey!" I was never so relieved to hear Edmunds voice, "What are you doing? We're supposed to be heading for the common room." Edmund stopped right next to me, and he made a small "oh" when he realized why I wasn't walking. "Hello Lupin."

Remus' eyes flicked towards Edmund, and he mumbled a "hello" before returning his eyes to mine. "Alex your hair…"

I smiled cheerfully, "Is a wonderful color, I know. Now," I hooked my arm through Edmund's, "I'm afraid we must be off to Ravenclaw tower. Come along Ed." Not bothering to say goodbye to Remus I began dragging Edmund up the staircase. He made no objections, and instead helped me hurry along. Thankfully he didn't question why.

Our walk was silent, but on the inside I was a rambling mess, _Does Remus know? Does he know I'm Sirius' Alex? It was just one little morph, and yet it could give me away. Although that wouldn't be altogether bad. If Remus shares his suspicions with James and Sirius, then they could finally piece together all of the clues I'd purposefully (and accidentally) left behind. At least now Sirius can pull his head out of his arse and finally realize I've been going to the same school as him. For the past year!_

Edmund suddenly shook my arm, and I looked around to see we made it into the common room. "Thank you Edmund," I patted his hand before releasing his arm. I started walking towards the girls dorms when his voice stopped me, "Alex?"

Looking over my shoulder I placed one foot on the staircase, ready to climb up, "Yes?"

He was blushing, and I wondered why, "You can call me Ed, if you'd like."

It was such a random statement. At first I just raised an eyebrow at him, making him blush even harder, but then I remembered I had called him Ed when I lead him away from Remus. I shrugged, "Alright."

He was still blushing, but there was a beaming smile on his lips, "Alright."

With an awkward smile back I started up the stairs. It was still early, and I wanted to practice more of my animagus transformations. I'd been practicing over the summer, and I was getting really close to finishing. Maybe a week or two and I'd be ready to test it out.

* * *

 **AN: Did you know when I first started writing this I hadn't planned on Alex and Sirius being friends? Like they wouldn't have even talked to each other until fifth or sixth year. It just kinda happened, and now I'm rolling with it.**


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning I sat with Edmund for breakfast. I would have joined Severus at the Slytherin table, but Flitwick was going to pass out out timetables. The entire time I was waiting for my timetable I could feel somebody staring at me. I casually glanced around the room before spotting Remus gazing at me with hard golden eyes.

I immediately ducked my head to look at my plate. I hadn't looked at him long enough to know what he was thinking, but from his stare I could hazard a guess that he wasn't happy with me.

The only reason I could think of for why he'd be angry was if he fir hired out I was Sirius' Alex. He had every right to be angry since I was supposed to be Sirius' best friend, yet I've been hiding myself. I'd hate to think how upset Sirius will be when he finds out.

"Good morning, Miss Palmer."

Happy for the interruption I looked to see Flitwick holding out a sheet of paper. "Thanks Filius."

He chuckled when I said his first name–as usual, "Your welcome my dear."

Scarfing down the rest of my food I bolted out of the Great Hall. If Remus stared at me any longer I might have exploded from nerves

Looking down at the sheet I searched for Thursday's schedule to see I had History of Magic for my first period. The fact made me groan aloud. History class was so boring, and it was made worse since Professor Binns was a ghost who droned on and on about Goblin Wars.

The schedule was a little better when I saw I had Transfiguration for second period, then lunch, then Herbology with Slytherin, and Defense with Gryffindor. Astronomy class was at midnight, as usual.

After going up to Ravenclaw tower to get the required books I headed for the History of Magic room. I was the first one to enter the room, but that was probably because nobody liked being in here longer than they needed to.

Thankfully the class wasn't a double period, and it was only an hour of mind numbing learning before the bell rang. Everybody jumped out of their seats as if they were on fire and raced for the door.

Transfiguration passed much faster than History, except Mcgonnagal gave us homework. It wasn't overly much, but there was enough to groan about.

Herbology class would have gone by without a hitch if the Slytherin I was working next to didn't spill her inkwell into my bag. Why she had ink out at all made me question on whether or not it was an accident. Since it was the end of class our Professor hadn't even noticed before walking g right out of the greenhouse.

I had to walk all the way up to the Defense room with an ink covered bag. It wasn't so bad, but everything inside needed to be cleaned. Especially my books.

When I walked into the classroom I had been heading for a desk in the middle of the room when a hand grasped the back of my robes. The hand dragged me down into a seat, and when I turned to give the person a piece of my mind the words got caught in my throat.

"So, you're Alex?" Remus was looking at me critically.

"Um," I wanted to make sure we were on the same page, "what do you mean?"

Remus scoffed. It was a rather foreign gesture coming from him, and it surprised me. "You know what I mean. You changed your hair color in a way only a metamorphmagus could do. Last year you used Hooter to send mail when Sirius and 'Alex'," here he gave me a hard look, "are the only ones who he ever goes to. You also seem to know certain things about 'Alex' that none of us have told you. Let's not forget the looks you're constantly sending Sirius when he's not looking."

My mouth was opening and closing in the impression of a goldfish. Remus really was a smart boy if he was able to put all of that together. Of course, anybody could probably figure it out if they tried. Sirius seemed busy doing other things. Like pranking. "So you know?"

He nodded, "I know."

It felt as if a huge weight had finally lifted from my shoulders. "Finally!" I banged my hand on the desk causing a few people to look over. "It's nice to know at least one of you has some sense!"

Remus looked confused, "You're not upset that I found out?"

"No," I looked at him as if he were crazy. "Why would I be upset?"

"I figured you didn't want anyone to know, since you didn't say anything to Sirius last year."

I sighed heavily, "It's not that I _didn't_ want you guys to know. I just didn't say anything because Sirius didn't recognize me in the chamber the day we were sorted. I understand why he didn't on the train, since you four spelled my hair away."

Remus looked sheepish, "Yeah. Sorry about that. You know how Sirius is."

I laughed at that, "Yes, I know how he is." Sirius was more than happy to share his pranking adventures with me. Sometimes the pranks were pulled on the whole school, and Sirius would later tell me in a letter how he did it. He would mention Remus and James helping out while Peter did whatever Peter does. It was interesting to see how their minds worked. For twelve year olds they were wicked smart.

"So you didn't tell Sirius, your best friend, that you were in Hogwarts because he didn't recognize you?"

Clearing my throat a little I gave a shrug of my shoulders, "When you put it that way it sounds ridiculous, but it's true. He's my best friend, he should have recognized me. My accent practically gives me away!"

Remus grimaced, "That's true. Your voice is pretty noticeable. But it must not be as heavy of an accent from when you guys first met."

"Yeah, but hello!" I drew an invisible circle around my face, "He's seen me with these features before!"

He squinted his eyes at me, "Really?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Although, it was when Diagon Alley was attacked. But we went to James' place right after, so if anything James could have recognized me."

Remus groaned, "Those two are denser than I thought."

Our conversation was interrupted when our new teacher, Professor Higgins, began introducing himself. I leaned closer to Remus so I could whisper, "What happened to Professor Bark?"

"She got killed in one of Voldemort's raids sometime during the summer," Remus whispered back. "I've heard this position is cursed. Nobody teaches Defense for more than a year."

My eyebrows furrowed, _I feel like I should have known that._

"Alright class!" Higgins clapped his hands together, "Begin reading chapter one in your books!"

Remus and I immediately flipped open to the first page and began the assignment. From the amount of reading I've done over the years I was able to finish in twenty minutes. Remus finished ten minutes after me.

"So are you gonna tell Sirius that you're here?"

I glanced at Sirius from the corner of my eye. He was sitting next to James, and the two of them were throwing bits of paper at each other instead of reading. "I'm planning on it, but I wanted him to be able to figure it out."

Remus nodded, "That makes sense, but this is Sirius we're talking about. He can be smart when he wants to, but he's bloody dense the rest of the time."

I scoffed, "I've noticed."

"Do you know how you're going to tell him?"

"I was thinking of doing it in a similar way I did with you." When Remus looked confused I elaborated, "I'm going to use my morphing abilities to change my looks."

"And you'll do this soon," Remus had a look that dared me to argue.

I stole one more glance at Sirius, "I hope so. I don't have many opportunities to talk to him."

Remus hummed, "I'll help you out with that. Just make sure you tell him."

With a grateful nod I began changing my fingernails into bear claws. I wasn't worried about Remus noticing since he knew I was a metamorphmagus, and he could just brush it off as me morphing.

As I was sitting there I couldn't help but hear him mumble to himself, "A whole bloody year! Unbelievable."

It brought a smile of amusement on my face, but also one of excitement. I was finally going to tell Sirius I was in Hogwarts. There was also some apprehension mixed in.

When the bell rang for the end of class Remus joined the rest of the Marauders while I headed for Ravenclaw tower. My bag was still covered in ink, and I needed to find a spell that would clean it.

The longer the ink stayed on my bag the larger the chance of it staining. Hopefully whatever spell I used would take the stain out as well, but I couldn't be sure until I tried it.

Going up to my dorm I took everything out of my bag and laid them on the floor one by one. The last item I pulled out of my bag was the journal I'd failed to make into a map. It wouldn't have interested me if it hadn't been for the distinct lack of ink. I made sure to flip it over and examine all the pages, but I couldn't find a single drop anywhere.

"What?" I spent a good five minutes looking at the journal uncomprehendingly. I dabbed my finger in whatever wet ink was left and smeared it on one of the pages. My bafflement only increased when the ink disappeared. As if it sunk through the pages. I checked the next page to make sure it didn't bleed through, but it was gone.

"That's…not possible. Where's the ink?"

One the question escapes my lips a blossoming of black ink suddenly spread across the page. I dropped the journal with a surprised yelp. My breathing was labored, and for a few moments all I could do was stare blankly.

Snapping out of my stunned stupor I dove for the journal and flipped to the page where the ink had magically appeared. It was still there, and at first I didn't understand what it was. It occurred to me that I was looking at an aerial view of my dorm room. There was a black dog with my name written above it, and an X was right next to me. At first I didn't understand what the X was for, but when I looked down I saw all of my ink covered things still laying on the floor.

 _Oh my god_ , my jaw threatened to hit the floor, i _t worked. It worked!_ I jumped up onto my feet and began dancing around the room. My map actually worked. It stumped me for close to a year, and all I needed was to put ink on it.

Which, now that I thought about it, made perfect sense. A map isn't a map unless there's something written on it. Blank pages aren't going to direct you anywhere.

I desperately wanted to try it out, but I still had to find a way to clean my things. I cast a quick _Tempus_ to check the time, and saw it was almost dinner time. An idea went off in my mind, and I quickly pushed all of my things into my bag. Even my journal. It was something I'd actually made without any knowledge on the subject whatsoever. I wanted to protect it from any prying eyes.

For now I would ask one of the teachers to fix my bag. They would be sitting at the head table, and it'll be easier to ask them to do it then trying to find a cleaning spell in the hundreds of books in the castle.

* * *

 **AN: I realize how ridiculous the whole Alex/Sirius situation is right now. If this somehow happened in real life you need to slap your friend across the face. Just work with me here.**


	23. Chapter 23

Remus and I met up several times after that Defense class. Our meetings were usually in secret, but our friends noticed our random disappearances. Edmund was the one who noticed mine, and was insistent upon knowing who I was talking to. Sirius, James, and Peter all noticed their studious friend disappearing at strange times and teased him about meeting up with girls.

After those confrontations Remus and I had to be even more secret about everything. He wasn't sure how we were going to accomplish it, but I told him not to worry about it. I had it covered.

Remus doubted me, but he didn't know about my map. When I started experimenting with my journal I discovered something I hadn't expected. For the journal to become a map you had to verbally ask how to get somewhere. If I wanted to know how to get to the Great Hall I would say, "Show me to the Great Hall."

Ink would immediately blossom onto the page. My name would be on the very bottom of the page, while an aerial view of Hogwarts corridors would appear in a trail that lead down to the Great Hall. As I walked down the corridors shown my name would move along with me.

What surprised me was the fact that the names of anybody else walking down those corridors would appear like mine would. It would definitely help let me know who else was coming my way. The other thing that surprised me was when I'd first experimented the map lead to to a wall.

It confused me so badly I stood there staring at the wall for several minutes. Occasionally I would glance down at the map to make sure I was going the right way, but the map showed I was supposed to go forward into what looked like a small hallway.

I tried knocking on the wall a couple of times, but that only scraped my knuckles. I wanted to think my map was broken in some way since the corridor I was standing in still continued down to the main staircase. With that in mind I asked the map to show me a way to the library.

The new route lead me in another direction, and this time I didn't have to try and walk through any walls. From the library I asked my journal to lead me back to Ravenclaw tower. When the journal lead me to one of the bookcases in the back of the library I knew it was no accident when I was brought to that wall.

Taking it upon myself to find out what was so special about this bookshelf I began removing book after book and then replacing them a moment later. Nothing happened with the first shelf, but when I grabbed the book on the very edge of the second shelf I heard a small click come from the wall next to me.

With wide eyes I watched as a square of about three feet in height and width slid away to reveal a dark passage. It was so dark the light of the library didn't even penetrate it.

I replaced the book so I could crawl closer. My wand was out, and my lips parted to cast the spell _Lumos_. Before I could utter the word the wall slid back into place.

Scooting backward in shock I stared at the wall with wide eyes before reaching over and removing the book. Just like before the small section of wall slid away and I was stuck staring at the dark tunnel. Taking a deep breath I shoved the book back into its spot and dove towards the passage.

I half expected to run into something as soon as I jumped through, but nothing happened. When I turned around I watched as the wall slid back into place, leaving me alone in absolute darkness.

I was fine for all of two seconds before I started freaking out. Being in the dark didn't usually scare me, but with this being an entirely new place and I was unable to see my nose it was really creeping me out.

My hand moved on its own. With a single movement I had it sticking out, palm up. A silent _Lumos_ had a blue orb materializing above my hand. The sudden light had me squinting, and after blinking a few times they were able to adjust enough for me to look around.

It looked like an endless crawl space. The walls were only three feet high, and three feet across. The same perimeter as the doorway leading into it. I was too tall to walk through, so I had to get on my knees while one hand was outstretched with the light, and my other had the journal.

It was a good ten minutes of awkward knee shuffling before one of them suddenly dropped. I had to bring down my hands to keep myself from tumbling downwards, which ended up in me losing my journal, and my _Lumos_ fizzed out of existence.

My breathing was heavy as I tried to regain my bearings. From the position of my knees and hands I was on some sort of slant. When I moved one hand forward I felt the floor disappear like it had with my knee. Turning the hand over I lit another _Lumos_. The light it gave off was enough for me to see that I had almost fallen face first down a set of stairs I'd completely looked over.

Huffing at the trouble this was putting me through I started crawling down the stairs like a three-legged dog. I must have gone down about twenty stairs before the floor finally leveled back out. Moving around my hand I saw the same small 3x3 tunnel, and laying next to one of the walls was my journal.

Snatching it up from the ground I fingered the now damaged corners. The fall must have been pretty unforgiving.

Flipping through the pages I finally found the one covered in ink. It showed I only had a little ways to go before I needed to turn left.

Hoping I wouldn't be in this tunnel for much longer I started shuffling my knees–thanking whoever was listening that I preferred pants instead of a skirts. Otherwise my knees would be completely scraped.

I probably continued for about five feet before my hand hit a wall. I moved it around in attempt to see if this was where I was supposed to turn, but it looked like a dead end.

Sighing in aggravation I looked down on the map to see I needed to turn left into another corridor. Lifting my gaze from the journal to the wall in front of me I started noticing something odd about it. It wasn't grey, or stone. Instead it was a dark brown color, and when I pressed my fingers against it I felt a rough parchment.

Closing my journal I stuck one corner into my mouth so I could have free use of my hand. With it I was able to feel around the edges of the odd material until–in the top left corner–my fingers sunk into the paper. At first I thought I ripped it, but then I heard a sharp click and watched as a sliver of light emerged from a crack that formed between the stone wall and the parchment.

Placing my hand against the parchment I slowly pushed it open to see even more light filter through. The paper opened even further until I was able to stick my head out of the passage way.

Looking up and down the empty hallway I opened the odd doorway even further before glancing down. There was about four feet between the passageway and the floor. With a little maneuvering I was able to back out of the passage feet first.

Once my toes hit the floor I dropped the rest of the way and cut the _Lumos_. I reached for the open section of wall and pushed it back into its place. When I saw what the parchment was I had to blink in shock. Apparently the parchment was the back of a 3x3 painting of a small farm.

Taking my journal out of my mouth I flipped back to the map and started walking in a random direction, letting my thoughts wander about what I just found out.

My journal had successfully been turned into a sort of GPS, which was exactly what I wanted. What I hadn't known would happen was the fact that it would be able to find the secret passageways of the castle. Those secret passages must have been faster routes that would get me around the castle quicker.

This also meant there could be secret rooms this map could lead me too, and I could use one of them to meet Remus in.

"Show me to a room I can have secret meetings in."

The part of me that doubted it would work was quenched when I saw the previous route to Ravenclaw tower be wiped away, and get replaced by a different route.

Resisting the urge to jump up and down in excitement I started speed walking in the direction my map wanted me to go. At one point I found myself heading straight for a suit of armor, and as much as I wanted to explore more mysterious places I wasn't in the mood to stand there for who-knows-how-long trying to find how to get it open.

By looking at the map I saw an image of a staircase, so I knew I needed to get upstairs somehow. Changing my direction had an interesting affect on the map. The original route stayed in place, but my name broke off from the inked corridors and was floating on the blank parts of the page.

Magic was truly astounding.

I used the main staircase to go up several flights of stairs. By the time my name reached the same height as where the room was supposed to be I was on the seventh floor. It was a couple of wrong turns later before I finally found where I was supposed to be. I recognized this corridor rather well. It was near Ravenclaw tower and the Gryffindor common room.

Looking at the Barnabas the Barmy tapestry I carefully pushed it aside. According to my map this was supposed to be where I came out of. Possibly the same passageway that connected to the armor several floors down.

The only problem with this secret room was the fact that the door wasn't visible. It's apparently supposed to be right across from the tapestry, but there was nothing indicating there should be a door there. Logically that made sense, but right now it was annoying.

Going up to the wall I began feeling around for anything that might indicate it was behind a glamour, or a notice-me-not. When nothing came out of that I began pressing several stones to see if any of them were a secret button that you would pressed and it revealed the door. That attempt also failed.

I resorted to walking beside the wall and inspecting the corner where wall met floor. When I didn't see anything the first time I turned around and tried again. Just like before there was nothing to see so I stood up and walked back in a huff.

Tiredly rubbing my temples I began pacing. I needed to find this stupid room so I could have somewhere to meet Remus. Maybe there were other rooms I could try and find, but they wouldn't be any easier to open. This just meant I needed to find a spell that revealed passageways, or at least how to open them.

Opening my eyes I looked down at my journal to think of any other ways I could find a room, when I caught something from the corner of my eye.

With slow movements I turned my head to see a red door that hadn't previously been there. Glancing around as if somebody else was there and playing jokes on me I slowly approached the door.

With my right hand I reached for the gold handle and slowly turned it until the door shifted inwards. After a small pause to collect my thoughts I pushed the door open hard enough to let it swing by itself.

Just from my place in the doorway I could see a roaring fireplace, and set up in front of it was a tall backed armchair punched into a long table that seated six more regular armchairs.

With cautious steps I entered the room, and a torch lit up on either side of the door. The sound of them lighting startled me.

Releasing a shaky breath I closed the door behind me before moving further into the room. It was rather dimly lit, the only light being the fireplace and torches. The floors were a dark brown hardwood that matched the table. The walls were bare and painted a cream color.

The only real color in the room were the chairs. There were five chairs in total. Two armchairs went down either side of the table, all of them red. The tall backed chair was black.

Approaching the black chair first I eyed the rather thin cushioning. It didn't look very comfortable, and when I sat in it I found my observation to be true. What it needed was a thick cushion, and the arms needed to be far enough apart for me to be able to sit with my legs crossed.

To my astonishment I watched as the chair changed underneath me. Had I not been so frozen I would have junked out of the chair and run to the other side of the room. Instead I stayed in the chair and watched as the arms spread another half a foot, and my body sunk into what felt like a bed of pillows.

I closed my eyes with a groan of appreciation. This chair was officially mine now. Remus could sit in one of the armchairs.

I don't know how long I sat there for before opening my eyes. When I looked at the blank wall across from me I immediately sat up. The door was gone.

Scrambling out of the chair I ran around the table and hit the wall with my hands. I started feeling around to see if the door was hiding, but all I felt was stone.

Then, right in front of my eyes, I saw the same red door slowly materialize beneath my hands. Blinking in astonishment I fumbled with the doorknob before pulling it open and stepping out into the corridor.

Closing the door I waited until I saw the door slowly melt away until there was nothing but a blank wall.

I looked around and still, there was nobody around. Taking out my wand I cast a silent _Tempus_. The red numbers showed it was well after curfew.

Letting my arm hang limply by my side I stood in the middle of the corridor before punching the air. I just found an amazing room because of a map that showed secret passageways. Not to mention I made the map myself. I felt so accomplished.

Now all I had to do was figure out how I made the door appear, and then tell Remus about it.

* * *

 **AN: I thought about having Alex finding a different room, because having her become an animagus and use the RoR makes this story pretty similar to Officially Lost, but then it happened anyway.**


	24. Chapter 24

The next opportunity I had to talk with Remus was during our Defense class. Usually I would sit by Lily and he would sit by Peter, but when we needed to confirm a meeting time we sat beside each other. We would be questioned about why we sat next to each other, but I was able to brush them off and change the subject. So far it seemed Remus was able to do the same.

Today when I sat in what was usually Peter's seat I took out my book and pen and set them on the desk in front of me. When they were situated I finally looked over at Remus to see his skin was paper white. His breathing was a little erratic, and his eyes were more gold than their usual hazel.

A pang of concern pierced my heart. I tried asking him about it last year during Astronomy, but he waved me off every time I asked. If I tried again now I would only get the same answer about him having some monthly illness.

"Remus?" My tone was as quiet as I could make it. I noticed loud things seemed to irritate or hurt him around this time of the month.

His gold eyes connected with my blue, "Yeah?"

"I found somewhere we can meet. Do you think you can make it tonight?" I knew the answer before he even said it.

Remus grimaced, "Not tonight. My illness is acting up."

I sighed, but I also had a small smile tugging at my mouth. Every time he got sick I would go down to the Hospital Wing and leave a bag of chocolates with the Matron for her to give him before he was released. Whenever I ran low on chocolate I would order some out of a catalog I had my mother send me.

"Then the next time you feel better I want you to meet me on the seventh floor in front of the Barnabas the Barmy tapestry."

Remus nodded his head very lightly, and for the rest of class we sat in silence. Professor Higgins was going over a spell we would be practicing later that week, and we were taking notes on its history.

When class was over Remus was swept away by the rest of the Marauders while I went up to the seventh floor.

I found the same strip of wall that the door appeared from. Looking around to make sure nobody was nearby I stared at the wall contemplatively. Last time the door appeared after I finished pacing.

Twisting my feet to the left I walked a few steps before turning around and walking back. My eyes never left the wall, and because of that I was able to watch the same red door materialize from the stone. It was an amazing thing to see because it looked like the door was being carved from the stone before being painted red.

"Amazing," I breathed.

Reaching for the gold knob I opened the door and stepped into the same room that had appeared last time. The only difference I could see was that the black chair had been spun around to face the fireplace, and there was an office desk in front of it.

Closing the red door I watched it disappear back into the wall before moving towards the desk.

Pulling out the chair I tentatively sat down in the plush cushion. When it turned out to be just as soft as the last time I sank into the chair with a sigh of contentment. This room knew exactly what I needed. A comfy place to unwind and do my homework.

The only homework I had to do for today was Transfiguration, Charms, Defense, and History of Magic. Those were the only classes I had today and homework was given in each one. It was easier to keep track of what work I needed to do if I finished it right away.

After finishing all of my work I stuffed it back into my bag. I was finished with everything I needed to get done and now, I wanted to finish what I was almost done with.

Pushing away from the desk I got out of the chair to walk over to an open part of the room. I needed the space for my transformation.

Sitting down with my legs stretched out in front of me I watched my hands turn large paws. The brown fur traveled up my arms, covered my head and torso, then stopped at my feet–which were now another set of paws. To check if my ears had changed I brought up my hands-turned-paws to feel around my head. I knew they had changed when I felt small round tufts sticking out from farther up my head.

Closing my eyes for more concentration I focused on my arms and legs. I felt a small tingling sensation, but nothing more. Each focus resulted in the same thing until the sensation changed into pins and needles. It got worse and worse, and I was beginning to think it would become so painful it would reach the level of the Cruciatus Curse.

I should have known that wasn't possible. The Cruciatus curse is like having thousands of hot knives stabbing into every inch of your body. This pain was only in my arms and legs, and it only reached a light burning sensation before it was over.

When the pain was gone I couldn't see anything. My body was ready to panic, but then I opened my eyes to see myself still inside of the strange room. Apparently I'd closed my eyes from the pain.

With difficulty I pushed myself back into a sitting position. I didn't know why it was so difficult until I saw what my arms and legs looked like.

Instead of having human arms and legs I now had the limbs of a bear. It had been so painful because my bones were rearranging themselves into new positions. If I tried to stand up on my back legs I would end up falling over because they were placed differently than usual.

The next thing that needed to be changed was my head and torso. Just like with my limbs there was a terrible burning from the base of my spine to the top of my head. I had to clench my teeth to prevent any sounds of pain from escaping, and it felt like it lasted forever.

When the pain finally went away it took a couple moments of harsh breathing before I could unclench my jaw. I laid on the floor for an indefinite amount of time; allowing my breathing to even out and my muscles relax.

The first thing I noticed that was different was my breathing. It was a lot rougher than it usually was, and I could automatically hear the animalistic quality to it.

Blinking open my eyes I saw something sitting in between them. Making myself go cross-eyed I realized my nose and mouth elongated into a brown snout. With a flick of my tongue I could feel the sharper teeth now lining my gums.

It took small, careful movements before I was able to push myself onto my four paws. It took a while longer for me to get used to the feeling of standing on four legs. My new muscles couldn't handle all of my weight for too long, and I had to sit down before my legs gave out.

To try and get my legs working a little better I stretched them out one after another. Had anyone been there to see a grizzly bear stretching out her limbs they would have been very confused.

When my legs were suitably stretched I pushed myself back onto all fours and was pleasantly surprised to see it didn't tire out my muscles as quickly as before.

The next step was to start figuring out how to walk on four legs. One of my front legs had to go first, then the opposite back leg, then the other front and the other back. There were several stumbles before I was finally able to get myself into a smooth gait.

I walked three laps around the room to get the hang of using four limbs before trying to go faster. Running the bear equivalent of a jog resulted in even more trips. These were slightly more painful, and I knew when I changed back I would end up having several bruises on my body.

When I could make three laps around the room without tripping I slowed back down into a walk. My breathing was heavy from the amount of unfamiliar movements my body wasn't used to.

I brought myself to a slow stop. My eyes slowly glanced around the room, and I finally began feeling a sense of disbelief and amazement. I just accomplished an amazing piece of magic in Hogwarts castle. I was officially an animagus.

This also made me realize I didn't know what I looked like as a bear. If I wanted to see myself then I would need something to show my reflection.

On cue I saw the farthest wall shimmer away to be replaced by an entire mirror. With it covering the entire wall I could see myself lumbering forwards. At first the sight of a large grizzly bear freaked me out, but then I remembered it was supposed to be me.

Seeing myself in the body of a bear was surreal. There was nothing that would give away the fact I was an animagus. I looked like a real bear, and if anyone else were to see me they would probably think the same thing.

Getting up close to the mirror I examined every part of my face. My pink tongue was hidden behind sharp teeth, my shoulders had the same hump a brown bear would have, and my eyes were the same natural blue color they usually were.

After getting an eyeful of my body in the form of a bears I sat back on the floor and closed my eyes. With a few moments of concentration started feeling my entire body begin tingling. The sensation was all over my body, and was getting stronger by the moment. Before the sensation could turn painful it disappeared.

I opened my eyes to see the bear was replaced by my usual human self. Smokey hair and all.

Jumping up with an excited "Yes!" I ran over to my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Rushing out of the room I quickly made my way through the empty corridors up to Ravenclaw tower. When I successfully made it inside I went up to my dorm room and laid my bag at the end of my bed.

Checking the time with a quick _Tempus_ I saw that it was just passed curfew. I must have spent several hours on my homework–missing dinner–and the rest of the time spent working on my animagus change.

Thinking of my animagus had a smile growing on my face. I wanted to spend more time working in that form, but beard weren't exactly quiet. If I changed in my dorm room somebody would probably hear me.

I could have always gone back to the secret room I found, but I wanted to test my senses. What would it be like to wander in a natural habitat? The only place around here that I could try it on would be the Forbidden Forest.

Throwing a cloak around my shoulders and strapping my wand to my arm I left the common room to make my way through the castle. As an extra precaution I changed my looks into that of a thirteen year old Édouard. That way if I ran into anybody they wouldn't know who I was.

In the end I was able to get to the castle entrance without any trouble. Whether or not I made it to the forest without being seen I couldn't be sure. If someone did see me then they only would have seen a back dot rushing across the grounds.

Once I was in the safety of the tree line I was able to relax. Nobody would be able to see me shift into my bear form. I could feel the dirt shifting beneath my claws. If I tripped I was able to roar without having to worry about waking anybody up.

While I was making my way through the trees I heard an eerie howl. It stopped me dead in my tracks, and I glanced at the surrounding trees warily. Any previous movement in the forest was still after such a howl. It made the fur on the back of my neck stand in end.

When nothing else happened I started walking forward again. I was still tense from the unfamiliar noise, but I didn't let it stop me from exploring my bear form.

The noise may not have stopped me from exploring, but the collision of something large ramming into my side certainly put a hold on things.

I was set off balance and ended up rolling onto my back. The large thing ended up rolling with me and I heard its angry growling. I tried just pushing it off of me, but I couldn't get a good grip on it with my claws.

In pure frustration I ended up roaring loud enough to scare a flock of birds that had been resting in a nearby tree. It was also enough to get the other animal scrambling off of me.

Rolling onto my back I roughly shook my head before looking around for the animal that attacked me. When my eyes landed on an oversized wolf I knew I found the culprit.

I could automatically tell something about this wolf was different. It's paws were the size of mine, it's golden eyes were feral, and saliva was dripping down from its jaw. The only normal thing about this wolf was its russet fur.

This animal was obviously looking for some sort of fight, but I wanted no part of it. Maybe if I was comfortable in the body of a bear then I would defend myself no problem, but I just learned how to shift a few hours ago. I had no chance of winning any fights.

As I was thinking about this my breathing was becoming more labored. It was rough, and the occasional grunt would escape me. I was obviously an animal in distress, and the wolf was picking up on that.

I watched as the wolf took a step forward. A short, distressed roar escaped me as I took a step back. I didn't want the wolf coming any closer because that would most likely result in him attacking me.

The wolf dragged his tongue along his lips, getting rid of any residual drool. His ears were perked, and while his eyes were still feral there was something else I couldn't quite read.

For several moments we just stared at one another. I wasn't sure if I should have been getting more relaxed by the silence or more stressed.

The first one to make a move was the wolf. He took a step forward and paused when I growled warningly. We continued staring, never breaking eye contact, and he took another step. For every step he took I would growl at him, but he didn't falter.

He only came to a complete stop when he was two feet away from me. I could see his nose twitching and hear him sniffing the air for my scent. I took a cautious inhale and could smell the trees, the grass, and I could also smell what I could only describe as chocolate mixed with dog.

I hadn't realized we'd been leaning closer and closer until our noses brushed together. The sudden clod sensation startled me so bad I jerked back with a snort. The wolf wasn't as startled as I was, but his nose was twitching.

I stared at the wolf shrewdly, and he returned the look. This time I deliberately leaned forward to smell the air around the wolf. He let me get close enough to sniff at his ears, but I cod feel the burn of his gaze on the side of my head.

When my nose reached his neck I could hear him scenting my own neck.

Something about that action seemed to change the wolfs demeanor. He still had that look of a wild animal, but it wasn't as dangerous. In fact he seemed much more playful now.

He had me chasing him around and out of the forest towards a large willow tree. It was pretty new, and students have been messing with it because the tree was practically alive, and it was not a happy tree. At all. It's been dubbed the Whomping Willow.

This crazy wolf was running straight for the roots of the tree and I roared out in warning, but he didn't need it. The wolf was fast enough to dodge for the roots of the tree and hit them. I didn't know why it wanted to hit the roots, but I figured it out when the tree stilled in reaction. Whatever that wolf hit stunned the tree.

I was able to follow the wolf down a to new that was hidden in the roots of the tree. It was a tight squeeze, but I was thankfully able to get through without getting stuck.

The rest of the night was spent relaxing in an old rickety building that I've only seen while in Hogsmead. The residents called it the Shrieking Shack. Looking at the scratched up walls with dried spots of something I didn't want to think about, it was easy to see that the Shack wasn't haunted by a ghost, but a lonely wolf.

We rolled around the upstairs room. Tearing up floorboards, running over beds and getting tangled in the sheets. It was the most fun night I've had in a long time, and it made time fly faster than I expected it too.

I noticed the wolf was getting less rambunctious. I didn't think anything of it, and when he finally laid down I was actually grateful. I'd been up the whole night running around playing with this giant wolf when I should have gone back inside hours ago.

When I saw rays of light peaking through the morning clouds I took it as my cue to leave. Depending on what time I made it back to the castle I might have been able to make it to the castle on time. There was a good chance breakfast would be starting soon, and I had no chance of getting any sleep. Today's classes would be difficult, and I could only thank whoever was listening I didn't have Astronomy class the next night.

I was limbering my way towards the door when I heard a low whine from behind me. I thought the wolf was just whining because I was leaving so I turned around to huff at him, but what I saw surprised me.

He was curled up in the floor of the room. Every hair on his body was standing on end. His tail was tucked between his legs, his ears were against his head, and low whines were emanating from deep within his chest.

His limbs were twitching, and his limbs were contorting in obvious pain. I didn't know what to do. I had to watch in horrified fascination as the wolfs body suddenly lost all of its hair. The legs shortened, the tail disappeared, his paws turned into hands and feet, and his head contorted into that of a young boy with short auburn hair.

The boys breathing was labored, and I knew the transformation he just went through was very painful. Probably worse that what I went through when I first changed into a bear.

I saw the boy start moving and I took that as my cue to get out of there as fast as possible. If he saw a bear standing over him he would definitely freak out.

I was halfway down the staircase when I heard a weak voice call out, "Hello?"

It was full of exhaustion and fear, but what struck a chord with me was the fact that it was familiar. I automatically tried to respond "Remus?", but all that came out was a small roar.

Hearing myself do that I rushed down the rest of the stairs and ran as fast as I could towards the small tunnel that lead back outside. In my rush I got stuck so I had to change back into a human form. With my hands looking more masculine and the lack of long smokey hair I knew I looked like someone else, and that was fine with me. All I needed to do in that moment was get back to the castle and think about what just happened.


	25. Chapter 25

There wasn't much time for me to process what happened the previous night. When I returned to the castle there were students already eating breakfast in the Great Hall. I had to force my aching muscles up seven flights of stairs to get to Ravenclaw tower.

My first class was double transfiguration. I was distracted for the entire class. Part of the distraction was trying to keep my eyes open, but that struggle eventually faded away. The other distraction was the thought of Remus. Last night had started off completely normal before transforming into something else. Remus' monthly illness wasn't just some sort of cold or flu, he turned into an animal. A completely feral animal that had attempted to attack me.

After thinking of Remus as a feral animal immediately had me feeling bad. He was such a nice guy. Nothing about him pointed to being a feral wolf. But now that I thought about it his sickness made sense. He was always getting sick during some point of the month, his senses become more sensitive, and he's always craving some sort of raw meat. I always joked with him about being so hungry he would eat a cow. He never found it as funny as I did, and now I could see why.

He was a werewolf. Werewolves were painted in a bad light in the Wizarding Community. Dark creatures that wouldn't hesitate to rip you to shreds. I always found this funny since there were movies in my past lives about werewolves and vampires. Now I was facing a situation where one of (who I consider to be) my closest friends turns into a wolf every full moon.

It made sense why he would be hesitant to anyone about it. I doubted the other Marauders knew about this. With that thought in mind I knew I needed to confront Remus about this. He was dealing with it all by himself. The only people who probably know would be his family, and he's only going to be seeing them two months of the year for the next six years.

When the bell for class finally rang I collected my stuff and rushed out of the room. Edmund called my name but I just shouted something unintelligible back. It was lunch hour and would be the first opportunity I had to talk to Remus. He would probably be out of the Hospital Wing by dinner, and I wanted to catch him before then.

Cautiously entering the Hospital Wing I looked around the room until I spotted the only occupied bed. Closing the door as quietly as I could I scurried over to the side of the bed Remus was facing. His eyes were closed so I reached out to poke him awake when his voice startled me, "What are you doing here, Alex?"

I opened my mouth to ask how he knew it was me but quickly shut it. He probably heard me come in then caught my scent when I came closer. Could he smell me? I suddenly grew self-conscious and made a mental note to take a shower later. "I need to talk to you."

His eyes cracked open and I noted, with some relief, that they were back to their usual hazel color, "What about?"

"About last night."

After the words left my mouth Remus' eyes shot open. All traces of drowsiness were now missing, "Last night?"

I chewed the inside of my cheek in thought of what to say next, "There's a reason you've been getting sick every month isn't there? And not just because of a flu."

Remus slowly sat up from the bed. His worry filled eyes never left mine, "W–What do you mean?"

To hopefully ease some of the tension from his body I gave Remus a gentle smile and placed my hand on top of his fisted one, "I mean that I know, Remus. I know."

The worry was slowly morphing into horror. My attempt to smooth his nerves hadn't worked. "I'm not sure what you're talking about, Alex."

"Remus," I spoke his name slowly while staring into his eyes, "I was there last night. I was with you. I heard you while I was leaving the Whomping Willow." Remus paled further when I mentioned the trees name.

"You…you know," his voice was exceptionally quiet. I had to strain my ears to hear what he said. "You said you were there…" his incredulous eyes were glued onto me, "how could you have been there?"

Quickly glancing around the Hospital Wing to make sure we were alone I clambered onto Remus' bed and sat on his legs. Remus pulled his legs out from underneath me with a humored huff, leaving us sitting on both ends of the bed with out legs crossed and knees touching. "This is a big secret. I could get in major trouble for this, alright?" Remus' eyes hardened with understanding. "I figured I could tell you this since I know about your…furry little problem."

Remus' eyebrows flew up his forehead, "'Furry little problem'?"

I scratched the back of my head with a shrug, "It just kinda…came to me. I think it fits." Remus sighed and nodded uncaringly.

Awkwardly clearing my throat I continued on the conversation, "I've been working on becoming an animagus, do you know what that is?" It took a couple moments of thought before Remus' eyes widened in understanding. I continued before he could say anything, "I went outside last night to get used to my form, which is when I ran into you."

"You're an animagus?" Remus breathed. I just nodded in response since the question was rhetorical. He seemed to be trying to wrap his head around the fact that someone found out about him being a werewolf because they were wandering in their illegal animagus form.

"Alex!" Remus gripped me by the shoulders with desperate eyes, "You can't tell anybody! You can't! Please, don't tell anybody! I'm finally able to be normal here!"

"Whoa, whoa!" I grabbed onto Remus' forearms to stop him from shaking me, "Remus why would I tell anyone about this?"

His grip slackened and confusion mixed with his worry, "What do you mean? Why wouldn't you tell anyone?" Remus' hands moved to his lap and his eyes followed them, "I'm a monster."

"Remus," my voice held a reprimanding tone, "you are not a monster."

He glanced up at me with furrowed brows, "What?"

I gave him an odd look, "How could you think you're a monster?"

Remus' confusion was easy to see, and I could practically feel it in the air around us, "You mean you don't?"

It broke my heart to see this twelve year old boy think he was a monster. This is something he has absolutely no control over, and he thinks I'm just going to go spill his secret to everybody. "Remus I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal. So what if you turn into a raging wolf? It's only for one night. The same shit happens to girls once a month, only that lasts for about a week."

That last part didn't make complete sense to Remus so he decided to forget about it. The fact that I seemed to not care about him being a werewolf was a bigger anomaly, "You don't care that I'm a werewolf?"

I chuckled at his disbelief, "Of course not," I reached forward and squeezed his knee comfortingly, "we're friends. Friends stick together no matter what."

It was silent for a few moments as my blue eyes stared into Remus' hazel. My staring allowed me to see the glossy hue that slowly formed over his eyes. Tears pooled on his bottom lids and spilled over one by one. "You don't care," he breathed. "You're still my friend."

I huffed sadly. Remus has obviously had a bad experience with people knowing about his "furry little problem". Mundane's wouldn't take that sort of information very well, and werewolves have a bad reputation in the Wizarding World. All in all its not smiled upon to be a werewolf.

"Do the rest of the Marauders know?"

I saw the answer in his eyes before he could say anything. "No."

"Remus," his name came out as a sigh, "they need to know."

He glowered, "Like how Sirius needs to know you're his Alex?"

We descended into a tense silence. We were staring at each other for a tense couple of moments before Remus signed regrettably, "I'm sorry Alex–"

"No, no," I held up a hand to cut him off, "you're right. You are absolutely right. Sirius deserves to know who I really am. As does James, to a certain degree." I paused to gather my thoughts, "It seems we both have something we need to confess."

We stared at each other before chuckling at the same time. Our laughs were apparently contagious because we began laughing, and every time we glance at one another we would fall into a deeper round of hysterics. Our laughing fit lasted for a good five minutes, and by then the both if us were leaning on one another for support.

"Ah," I wiped the tears of mirth from my eyes, "why are we laughing?"

I waited until his laughter completely finished before getting my answer, "I'm not sure."

We chuckled a little bit more, but didn't fall into full blown laughter. Eventually our amusement faded away completely, and we were left in companionable silence.

The silence was only broken when I spoke up, "You know, we're gonna have to tell them eventually."

Remus grimaced, "I know." I pulled him into a comforting hug that we both of needed.

"Remus? Alex?"

We broke our hug and turned to see Sirius, James, and Peter standing in the doorway of the Hospital Wing. Sirius and James were eyeing me with varying degrees of suspicion while Peter isn't seem to know what to make of my presence.

I smiled slightly and nodded in silent hello. When I got three nods in return I looked back at Remus with a determined expression, "Remember what I said," and in a quieter voice I added, "they have to know."

Hopping down from the bed I waved goodbye to the boys before maneuvering my way out the door.. According to the time it was getting close to dinner. Like usual I would sit by Christy, Beth, and Eliza, but before I did that I would tell Edmund why I ran off in such a hurry earlier. Not all the details of course, just that I went to go visit Remus. He knows I'm fairly close with the hazel eyed boy, but for some reason he doesn't seem to like that.


	26. Chapter 26

Standing outside of the painting that led to the Gryffindor common room gave me a great view of the moving staircases. I had the strongest urge to spit and see how far it would fall before something stopped it. The urge was squashed when the portrait opened up behind me. Several Gryffindors have already come out, each one giving me strange looks, but this time it was Remus.

"There you are," I gave him an amused smile to show his lateness didn't bother me.

He sent a sheepish smile back, "Sorry. The boys weren't letting me leave without some answers." "The boys" he referred to would be Sirius, James, and Peter.

I just shrugged, "You can just tell them we're hanging out, I don't mind." We started walking through the halls with me slowly leading us to the hallway where I found that secret room.

"I did tell them I was hanging out with you," Remus insisted, "they just wanted to know every detail about what we were going to do."

"Well, what did you say?"

He sighed frustratedly at the thought of his friends constant nagging, "They were trying to get me to 'admit' that we were a secret couple having meetings in the middle of the night."

I gave him a strange look, "Why would they think we were doing anything like that?"

"Ever since Sirius came back after his snogging session with some third year Hufflepuff, girls are all Sirius and James seem to talk about." Remus glanced at me, "Don't tell anyone I said this, but James has now made it a bit of a competition to see which one can snog more girls."

I shook my head exasperatedly, "Twelve year olds are so immature. No offense." Sirius was now thirteen, but he's decided to take advantage of being a teenager and chase after girls. I shouldn't say anything against that considering I'll be doing the same thing. Though I'm only twelve in the physical sense.

Remus waved it off, "None taken."

We stopped in front of the large expanse of wall. Opposite the wall was the Barnabas the Barmy tapestry. It meant I was in the right place. "It's right here," I murmured to myself. I hadn't fully figured out how the door would appear, so I decided I would try and do the same thing as I had last time.

Remus sent me an odd look when I started pacing back and forth, "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting the room for us to meet it."

I've paced a few times now but the door wasn't appearing. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. The door appeared after I walked in front of it a few times, so why wasn't it working now? I needed the room to meet with Remus in!

After mentally grumbling about needing a secret meeting room a door started appearing in the stone wall. I watched its appearance with satisfaction and Remus watched it with awe. It was the same red door that appeared before. Entering the room showed the same meeting table with four arm chairs, and a black chair at the head of the table.

"What is this place?"

I watched Remus examine the room as I draped myself onto the comfy black chair, "What do you think?"

Remus slowly pulled out the armchair to my right and took a seat, "This is amazing. How'd you find this place?"

My eyes wandered around the room as I shrugged. The lighting wasn't that great in here, but that was because the only light sources were the torches on the wall by the door and the fireplace. Maybe get rid of the torches and put some sort of light over the table.

All of a sudden the torches disappeared, making the room even darker. Remus and I shared a worried glance before we were blinded by a sudden light. We both shielded our eyes from the onslaught with shouts of surprise. "What is going on?!" Remus asked.

I had to blink spots from my vision, "I don't know." Looking around the room I tried finding the source of light, and hanging from the ceiling–right above our table–was a chandelier. It was made from four black iron bars. They connected at the top and came down in arcs. The ends curled out and wrapped around white tubes with flame shaped light bulbs screwed into the tops.

"It's a chandelier," Remus stated. I nodded in agreement. "Where did it come from?" All I could do was shrug and make undecipherable noises.

The chandelier had come out of absolutely nowhere. It made a lot more light than the two torches did, and I was grateful for that, but it confused me on how it appeared. It happened right after I thought that the room needed better light. My chair also changed after thinking it needed to be more comfortable.

"I think it changed because I wanted it to."

Remus sent me an odd look, "What do you mean?"

"Well," I looked around for something to use as an example when my eyes landed on the chair he was sitting in. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I thought about ways to change it.

Maybe a nice cream color, and make the back a little taller.

At first nothing happened. It took several moments where my determination for the chair to turn became stronger and stronger. Before my eyes I watched as the red fabric bled into white, and the back of it stretched to cover Remus' entire back. It wasn't as tall as mine, but it looked pretty comfortable.

The moment Remus noticed his chair begin changing he jumped up and watched it from a few feet away. When it was finished he looked up at me for some sort of answer, and my victorious smile seemed to put him at ease.

"The room changes to give me whatever I really want or need," my voice was in complete awe. Magic truly was a wonderful thing.

The information seemed to amaze Remus as much as it did for me, "Would I be able to do it?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I've only been in this room two other times. Try it out."

Every second that ticked by had Remus' face grow sterner and sterner with concentration. After a while he started looking a little constipated, and since nothing was happening I decided to stop him, "I don't think it's working Remus."

He let out a long sigh, "I guess not. But why would it work for you and not me?"

I briefly contemplated the possibility of wandless magic. My abilities were definitely improving, but I was no where near able to vanish items and conjure others out of thin air. Wandless magic also required a lot of effort to accomplish the task. It only got easier after practicing the same spell over and over again. "It must have something to do with the room."

Remus sat down in the now white chair and slowly relaxed into the cushions. Now that I knew and accepted his status as a werewolf Remus seemed to have become a lot closer to me. Sure he still spent all of his time with the Marauders, but there was a certain air of comfort that now rested around him whenever we were together.

I figured I would dive right into the conversation, "Have you told them yet?"

He shot down my question with one of his own, "Have you told Sirius who you really are?"

"That's a no, then." I sighed, "We are so horrible."

Remus sighed as well, "We aren't that bad. At least we're trying to figure out how to tell them." Just thinking about revealing his secret made his palms sweat.

I noticed his reaction, "Hey," I waited to continue until he looked at me, "there's nothing to worry about. I'll be there right next to you, confessing my own secret."

His shoulders slumped in defeat, "At least they won't look at you in disgust, and hate you for it."

"Remus," I snapped, "they would never do anything like that. They're your best friends." He continued to silently mope,so I reached over and hit him upside the head.

"Ouch!" He rubbed the back of his head, "What was that for?!"

I rolled my eyes playfully, "That didn't hurt."

Remus grumbled to himself while rubbing the back of his head.

"We're gonna have to do this eventually," I went back to our original topic of conversation.

"I know," he finally stopped touching his head, "but now they're even more busy playing Quidditch."

"Oh yeah," I mused with a small smile. Sirius he'd written in his letters about how he and James tried out for the Gryffindor team. James was seeker and Sirius made beater. He also wrote about how their practices went, and several tactics he and James were coming up with. I've had several urges to go to my own houses Quidditch captain and give away the tactics. In the end I didn't do it.

"So you boys are all busy with pranks, girls, and Quidditch. I'm busy studying," practically everything under the sun, from school work to wandless magic, "and trying to hang out with all of my friends equally."

Remus nodded, "Pretty much. None of us have much free time."

I rubbed my face with my hands, "Next year won't be any easier since we'll be given more classes."

We fell into a heavy silence that was finally broken by Remus, "What is your animagus?"

I grinned excitedly, "You wanna see?" Whether he said yes or no didn't matter because I was already getting out of my seat.

Remus turned in his seat to watch as I crouched down to all fours. I felt a little subconscious, but I had to push those feelings aside to focus on my transformation. The last time I changed was the full moon.

As usual I changed my limbs first. Then my body changed from the tip of my nose to my tailbone. All of the hair on my body was replaced by brown fur, my nose elongated into a snout, my teeth grew longer, and my joints moved to the sides of my body to allow myself to walk on four legs.

When I felt the end of my transformation I blinked my eyes a few times to get used to the change in vision. Once my eyes settled on Remus I saw his wide eyed expression. It amused me enough to give a few chuckles. It sounded odd laughing as a bear. Like breathy grunts.

"Alex?" His eyes showed his nervousness. He wasn't sure if I was still me or if my mind was now that of a bears.

After I nodded my head Remus cautiously reached out his hand and set it on the top of my head. When I didn't make any moves against him he started running his fingers through my fur. "A grizzly bear," Remus breathed, "Alex this is brilliant!"

I huffed in agreement. It was quite the accomplishment for someone to become an animagus. Especially since I was rather young, physically. I probably had an easier time since–according to Gringotts–my magical abilities were being a matamorphmagus and an animagus. Becoming an animagus was something everybody could do, but as an ability it probably helped the process.

"You still have your own thoughts." I could hear a slight jealousy to Remus' voice. He probably loses his when he becomes a werewolf.

A whine escaped my throat and I tilted my head to lick at his hand. Remus chuckled in disgust, "Oh, gross!" He wiped his spit covered hand on his pants.

Walking up closer to Remus I started nudging at his legs. He tried getting away from me and asking what I wanted, but I couldn't exactly answer him. I continued to nudge him until I was behind him, then I shoved my snout between his thighs until he was straddling my neck. He was very confused and shouting questions but he eventually fell back onto my shoulders.

"Alex what are you doing?!" I just huffed in acknowledgment and kept walking forward with Remus on his back. "Are you giving my a piggy-back ride?"

I bobbed my head with a groan, and Remus chuckled, "You're a strange one Alex," he scratched behind my ear, "very strange indeed."


	27. Chapter 27

By the end of second year Remus and I still haven't confessed that he was a werewolf and I was "Sirius' Alex". Instead we came up with a plan to tell them on out first day of third year. It gave us an entire summer to gain the courage required to tell them. Remus especially since his secret was a little more emotional.

Instead for the rest of second year I continued to split my time between my studies and my friends, and every full moon I would join Remus in animagus form. He tried stopping me the first few times, but I snuck out anyway. He gave up after finding me sitting there every morning waiting for him to change back.

The two of us also took to studying in the the Secret Room whenever we got the chance. Those times were usually near or after curfew, but we were okay to take the risk because we found out the room could help us with dueling. It gave us these dummies that would change colors depending on how well a spell was casted at it.

Everybody in the school seemed to notice my close relationship with Remus. Especially my friends. Whenever we weren't with our friends people would find us in the library. Some thought we were a couple, but those rumors were never taken seriously.

My friends certainly liked to tease me about it, although Edmund seemed to be irritated by it. I had a funny feeling I knew why he got so defensive about Remus, but I kept my suspicions to myself.

Severus sneered at the thought of me being friends with three of the Marauders. The group has definitely made their mark in the school with their pranking and took pleasure in targeting Slytherins. Severus especially. Lily wondered why I haven't confessed to Sirius yet about my identity but I assured her he would know next year.

Christy, Beth, and Eliza thought it was adorable. Always teasing me about us two little nerds being in love. I always rolled my eyes at them because the conversation changed into them wanting information on Sirius. For a thirteen year old he was very handsome. His aristocratic features accentuated his eyes, and his black hair gave his skin an alabaster look. Sirius was the focus of a lot of girls in Hogwarts.

The train ride home was a quiet affair. I kept my nose buried in a book to pass the time quicker. We were probably half way home when I realized Edmund had joined me sometime during the ride.

When he looked up at me I smiled sheepishly, "Sorry. I hadn't even noticed you."

He smiled back, "That's alright. It must be a pretty good read."

I shrugged, "It's alright compared to some things I've read, it's just that whenever I started reading a book my brain pretty much tuned out everything going on around me."

Edmund nodded, "Yeah, that happens to me too. Sometimes I get distracted though." Something about the sentence made him blush so I didn't ask about what distracted him.

Returning to my book I spent the rest of the ride invested in the rules of Quidditch. Halfway through the book Edmund had to force the book away from my face so I could see that we had made it to the station. I sent him another sheepish smile, though he seemed nothing but amused with me.

Giving my friends parting hugs whenever I saw them I made my way towards my mother and gave her the biggest hug I could. She pulled back and looked me over critically, "You've grown."

I grinned, "Finally."

Mother took my trunk and kept her other hand on my shoulder. I squeezed my eyes closed in preparation of apparition but it still made me feel queasy. Hopefully one day I would get used to it because it was an easier way to travel.

Once home I let Barney jump all over me before heading up to my room to unpack. Most of my clothes went into my closet, as did my school books. I left the books I read for fun inside my trunk. As for my school uniforms I always got new ones because I outgrow the others. I kept the ties though.

With Hooter I opened his cage so he could fly onto the perch I placed in the corner of my room adjacent to my bed. I gave him fresh water and food before opening the window between my bed and the perch. Below that window I had a desk for when I wrote out my letters to Sirius or anybody else. It had the journals I wrote my letters in, different colored pens strewn across the top, and the items I found in the shoebox from the attic. The bird figurine was in the top left corner next to the Floo powder, and the quarts was on top of the bag.

I penned out a quick letter to all of my friends to tell them I made it home safely and that I hoped to see them sometime during the summer. I gave all eight letters to Hooter with the instructions to go to Sirius last. I was intent upon letting him know who I was on September 1st, no sooner and no later, because that's when Remus was going to confess.

With nothing else to do I called Mandy into my room so I could give her a hug. I do it every year, and it never failed to make her tear up. It makes her so happy that's probably why I do it.

The beginning of my summer wasn't too exciting. I met up with Christy and Beth a few times for shopping and hanging out, and then I met up with Remus to hang out at his house. We hung out there because I wanted to know his address. It allowed me to go there on the full moon and find out what he did during it.

Turns out his parents lock him up in the basement. It made me so angry that they would do that to their child, but unfortunately it was a necessary precaution. Either way I unlocked the doors with wandless magic so I could sneak down their and spend the night with him in my bear form.

He was very surprised to see me in the morning. If not a little angry. At least he expected it to happen in July so he wasn't as upset about it. Underneath all of that anger was a sense of relief that made me continue to join him during the full moons.

I also went over to Edmund's house and met his parents and vice versa. His mother was a kind woman with the curly bronze hair and brown eyes Edmund inherited while his father was a burly man with lighter brown eyes and the same facial structure Edmund had. Both of them were magical, but they were mundane-born so technically he would be a half-blood.

When Edmund met my mother he remarked on how cool she was and "wished his mum was like that". He noticed my father wasn't home so he asked about it, but I immediately threw up an emotional wall. My defensive response hurt him and I immediately apologized.

"I'm sorry Ed. My fathers kind of a sore subject here. He didn't take too well to mother and I being magical." I didn't elaborate in the subject. Only Sirius knew the full story about why we left him behind in America.

Edmund's eyes became sad because he could at least draw a conclusion to why he would have to be left behind, "You don't have to say anything Alex, I understand."

I smiled lightly but doubted he knew what it was actually like.

In July I met up with Lily and saw the now one year old rose. She was definitely a beautiful cat, and I wished I was able to get one. There had to be non-allergenic cat in the magical world.

I also got to see Severus that day since Lily wanted me and him to do some bonding. The two of us would never close like he was with Lily, or like I was with Remus and Sirius, but I liked to believe I could rely on him when I needed to.

Same as last summer Sirius said his pare at weren't letting him out of the house, and he couldn't have visitors they didn't approve of. He told me he was practically in a living hell because the people they approve of are stuck up purebloods.

Thinking about Britain and its thoughts in blood status always had me rolling my eyes. Their views were so narrow minded here, and purebloods always seemed to think they were at the top of the food-chain. It was really irritating.

I did, however, get to visit James. He to,d me in one of his letters that he would love to have "the girl Sirius loves" over at his house so he could learn more about me. He even invited Peter and Remus because he still thinks I haven't met them.

Little does he know.

Remus and I had to be careful with what we said about each other. Remus knew me almost as well as Sirius did, and he had to act dumb about a lot of things. I was ready to yell out that it was me, Alex Palmer, the same Alex that goes to Hogwarts with them and is best friends with Sirius Black. It only took a look at Remus for him to know what I was thinking and shake his head negatively.

We would tell them our secret at the same time when all of them were in the same room.

The four of us ended up playing a game of Quidditch in the manor's backyard. Remus, Peter, and I all had to borrow a broom. It was hard to watch Peter ride on a broom with how shaky he was. It was almost painful. Remus wasn't too bad, but he said he preferred books.

James could see how good I was on my broom and wanted to see how well I played on each position.

First he had me play Chaser with Peter as the Keeper and him and Remus as opposing Chasers. My goal was to get the quaffel into the rings Peter was trying to guard.

Dodging passed James and Remus proved to be fairly challenging, James more so than Remus. He seemed to have a knack for flying. Getting the quaffel passed Peter was easy, almost laughably so.

James praised my skills and moved me onto the Keeper position. This time I had a little fun with it and tried a few more daring stunts. When the quaffel was close enough I could reach out to eat her catch or hit it away. One time I had to grab onto the broom with both hands and drop down so I could kick the ball away. That move made James cheer for me fairly loudly.

Next I tried the Seeker position. The three of them went off to play their own game while I had to find the snitch. Out of all the positions I found this one to be the most boring. The waiting could get pretty tedious, and all I had to pass the time was to watch the three of them throw around the quaffel.

A glint of gold from the corner of my eye was all I needed before I rocketed in that direction. My eyesight was fairly good so I found where the small golden ball was located relatively quickly. The hardest part about the chase was when the snitch decided to take quick, almost ninety degree, turns. At one point the snitch was shooting straight up, just out of my reach. I pulled off another daring move by pushing down the broom so I could stand on the end of the handle. It gave me the height I needed to grab the snitch and a heart attack when the broom started falling from underneath me. I had to fall down with it so I could grab the handle and pull myself back on.

The three boys had seen the risky maneuver, and James looked at me with childish awe, "That was amazing. I've never seen anybody do that before. I'm going to have to try that next year."

When he said that I remembered he and Sirius were a part of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Their house won the cup last year because of James' amazing Seeker skills.

The last position he made me play was Beater. Remus wanted to stop after seeing me pull off such risky moves without hesitation, but James ignored him. I was given a worn out beaters bat they found in the same shed we got the brooms and released a bludger.

Having one of them come hurtling towards you was much different than watching them during a game. The only reason I didn't duck away from it was because my old baseball skills from my life as Édouard crashed into my body. I held the bat with two hands, now only controlling the broom with my legs. I kept my eyes on the bludger, and when I deemed it to be close enough I swung my arms around and hit it with a loud _crack_.

The four of us watched it fly into the distance and James whistled, "Wow Alex, you've got an arm Sirius would be jealous of." That was a definite compliment since Sirius was on the Gryffindor team as a beater.

With my "tryouts" over James wrapped an arm around my shoulders, "You're pretty good at all of the positions, but Beater is definitely your spot."

I smiled and offered jokingly, "So am I worthy to become friends with the great James Potter?"

He puffed out his chest, "Well of course! Anyone who likes Quidditch is a friend of mine."

"What if Severus likes Quidditch?"

James grimaced, "Almost anyone."

Remus and I chuckled at him as the four of us walked back into the manor. The elder Potter's were kind enough to let me stay for dinner, but I had to leave soon after. The boys were sleeping over but I hadn't asked my mother if that was okay so I decided I would go home and spend the rest of my summer with my family.


	28. Chapter 28

In late July I received a letter from Hogwarts with a list asking me what classes I would like to take for my third year. I kept Defense, Charms, Transfiguration, and Potions. I also kept Astronomy even though I wasn't as good at that class. I dropped History of Magic since I learned more on my owns then Binns would ever teach. The extracurricular classes I chose were Care of Magical Creatures, Ancient runes, and Arithmacy.

Early August was when I got a letter back with the supplies I would be needing for each class. Now that I was thirteen mother thought I was mature enough to buy my things in Diagon Alley by myself.

My trip to the Alley was uneventful, although I did write a letter to see if Lily wanted to meet up for lunch. She wrote back in affirmative and I went early so I could get the required books and potions supplies. Once I had all of those things I met her in one of the cozier restaurants lining the Alley walkways. To my surprise she also brought her parents and sister.

Petunia brooded sullenly throughout the entire thing while I held pleasant conversation with Lily and her parents. Lily was happy to inform me that Rose was doing just fine, and they would be buying her more food that day.

I paid for our lunch since it had been my idea to meet up. Lily wanted to do our shopping together since we had most of the same classes, but I told her I'd already gotten all of my books so we went our separate ways.

I grew about an inch over summer break so I had to buy an entirely new wardrobe. Seven pairs of black slacks that were closer to sweatpants, seven white button up long-sleeved shirts, three black cloaks to put over my clothes, and two pairs of new black shoes. Those would be my uniforms throughout the school year. Different from what everybody else wears, but nobody seemed to mind before.

For everyday wear I just got the same type of outfit just in different colors.

I went back to Flourish and Blotts for a few more books to read in my free time before going off to buy the newest broom in stock. Ever since my practice in the Potter's backyard I decided I would try out for my houses Quidditch team. Hopefully I'll get a spot.

The rest of my summer was spent mostly in my room with a book in hand.

September 1st rolled around and I got my trunk packed up with all of my books and new clothes before mother apparated me to the platform. We hugged goodbye before I climbed onto the train to find a compartment.

Nobody joined me in the compartment so I spent the entire ride by myself. The fact that the door was locked with the blinds pulled down may have been a little off putting to anybody who would want to come in.

The only time anybody knocked I opened the door to see a nervous Remus. When he saw it was me he relaxed, "Can we talk?"

Nodding my head I stepped aside so he could come in before closing the door and re-locking it, "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you about tonight." Remus was sitting on the bench opposite from me with us both leaning against the window.

My eyebrows furrowed, "What about tonight?"

"We agreed to tell the others about our…secrets, when we were in bed."

"And you don't want to?" One of my brows rose.

He shook his head hesitantly, "You know how I feel about telling them. I'm just saying that I can't do it tonight because, well, I'll be busy."

My confusion was palpable as I tried to figure out what he meant. I took a closer look at his face to see if it would give me any clues. He looked pretty pale, a bit of a sweat shining on his forehead, and his hazel eyes were a little more yellow than usual.

I nodded in understanding, "I see. So tonight's no good, but tomorrow for sure?"

Remus nodded in relief, happy I knew the full moon was tonight. He would have to go straight to the hospital wing after dinner, and because of that he wouldn't get to tell the rest of the Marauders he was a werewolf. Since I would be with him then I wouldn't be telling them I'm Sirius' Alex.

I sighed, "That's alright Remus, it's not your fault."

All he did was smile before looking out the window. I went back to reading my book, but when he continued to stay in my compartment I glanced at him over the cover, "Not that I don't enjoy your company, but what are you still doing in here? Weren't you with Sirius and them?"

He dragged his hand down his face with a tired nod. It cause me to laugh, "What did they do?"

"Sirius won't stop going on an on about all the girls he's been snogging. Either the ones from last year or new ones during the summer. James is the same."

I giggled, "Sirius mentioned those in his letters."

Remus looked at me with exasperation, "Does he ask you if you've had your first kiss?"

"No," I shook my head negatively. "He's asked me about boyfriends, but not first kisses. Does he ask you that?" When he nodded I grinned, "And have you?"

He groaned, "You're just as bad as him!"

I laughed at that, "Maybe. Why does this bother you?" His blush made me smile, "You haven't had your first kiss yet."

Remus huffed, "And I suppose you have?"

All I did was shrug, not agreeing or disagreeing. I haven't been kissed in this life but I've had plenty experience in my last two. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing's wrong with it." He grimaced, "They just tease me about it all the time."

"Alright," with a decision in mind I got up, set down my book, and sat down on the bench next to Remus. He looked at me with confusion. "Let's kiss then."

He spluttered, "What?!"

I shrugged, "Why not?"

"We'll be–because we can't! I'm not–and you're not–it wouldn't be right!"

"'Wouldn't be right'?"

"You're Sirius'!" Remus exclaimed.

I frowned at him, "I am Sirius' friend, nothing more. Besides its just a kiss between friends to help one another out. It won't mean anything." I held up my hands, "If you don't want to do it just say so."

He pursed his lips and turned his attention to the window. The sun had just set, and that was enough to let us know we would be reaching Hogwarts soon. I was surprised none of the Marauders haven't come looking for their werewolf friend.

His shoulders suddenly tensed and I watched as he turned to face me. There was determination in his eyes as they narrowed on my lips. I waited patiently for him to make the first move since I didn't want to rush him into it.

"It doesn't weird you out that I'm a werewolf?"

I rolled my eyes, "You know I don't care about that Remus. You shouldn't have to mention it."

With a deep breath to steel his nerves Remus quickly leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. There was no tell tale spark that people get when they find someone they love–which relieved me. Remus was a friend to me and nothing more. The kiss was just an innocent press of our lips. No tongue or anything, and it only lasted about three seconds. It was one of the most innocent kisses I've ever had.

When Remus leaned back from the kiss his cheeks were flaming red and he was biting his lip, "So, uh, how was that?"

I blinked owlishly before laughing at his question, "It was fine Remus, don't worry. I can tell you'll be an amazing kisser when you're older," and that wasn't a lie.

He smiled sheepishly, and while the blush on his face faded it didn't fully go away, "And you're okay with it?"

"I'm the one who suggested we do this, shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Remus waved away my question, "Still. I want to make sure it didn't freak you out or anything."

"What, that I kissed a werewolf?" He nodded. "If anything that makes me feel like a badass. Go up to people like, 'Yeah, I kissed a werewolf'." A grin made its way onto his face as he chuckled, but I could tell it still seemed to weird him out. "Remus don't be like that. Just because you're a werewolf doesn't mean your any different from me or anyone else. We bleed, we cry, we have two eyes, ears, feet. Everyone has something that sets them apart from others, and yours just so happens to be a little special."

Remus' eyes turned glassy during my speech, and when I finished he wrapped his arms around me with his lips next to my ear to whisper, "Thank you."

I patted his back and he leaned away towards the window. He gave one last smile of appreciation before saying his goodbyes and leaving me in the compartment by myself.

With him gone I changed into my white shirt, black pants, and my black robe with my blue and bronze tie draped over my shoulders. I was too lazy to tie it so I left it alone, allowing the top two buttons of my shirt to be undone and let me breathe easier.

The kiss didn't see, to change anything between Remus and I, and for that I was grateful. He made a wonderful friend despite all of his worries about being a werewolf. The kiss also made me realize I could let a little bit of Édouard shine through my personality. I was a teenager now, a safe age to start exploring. Nothing sexual of course, just kissing. I won't break my V-card for another year or two.

I decided I would think more about that later as I turned my attention to what would be going on tonight. We'd planned on telling the boys about me being Alex and Remus being a werewolf, but the full moon hindered that. I'd spend the night roughhousing with him in my bear form, and then maybe tomorrow we could tell them about us. That or once his strength returned. Either way the truths would be coming out within the week.


	29. Chapter 29

Once Remus was completely healed from the affects of the full moon he told me to meet him in the hallway outside the Room of Requirement after dinner. I agreed and was currently standing across from the Barnabas the Barmy painting as I waited for him to show up.

When he did I was surprised to see Sirius, James, and Peter walking behind him. At first I didn't know why they were there, but it hit me as soon as I looked into his worried eyes.

I chewed the inside of my cheek nervously, "Ready?"

He sent his own nerve filled smile, "As I'll ever be."

Pushing away from the wall I paced in front of it until the familiar red door began appearing. The sight had the other three Marauders gasping.

"Remus," Sirius spoke up, "what's going on?"

Because of his nerves Remus didn't say anything. I could tell his upcoming confession was giving him a lot of anxiety so I answered the question, "We have to tell you two something and Remus wanted us to do it here." Grasping the handle of the door I pulled it open to reveal the room Remus and I always used.

The five of us filed inside and I sat in the comfy black armchair at the head of the table like I always did. Remus sat in the red armchair on my right since that's where he always sat. Peter sat next to him while Sirius sat to my immediate right, across from Remus, and James sat on his right, across from Peter.

Remus and I looked at each other, both of our eyes filled with anxiety, "Shall I go first?"

He nodded gratefully, "Please."

Taking a deep, shaky breath I leaned forward in my seat to look Sirius directly in the eye. "Remus and I have…a secret to tell all of you," my eyes flicked to look at James and Peter before falling back onto Sirius.

James tried to joke, "Are you two dating? 'Cause that's not much of a secret." The serious air hanging around me and Remus prevented anyone from laughing.

"My secret involves mostly you, Sirius."

His eyebrows rose, "Me?"

I nodded, "You have a friend named Alex who you're always sending letters to." He nodded suspiciously. "What would you do if I told you it was me?"

He scoffed, "How could she be you?"

I raised an eyebrow, "How couldn't she?" Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see the look on his face, "My name is Alex Palmer. I grew up in America until I was eight years old, my mother and I let because my muggle father couldn't take that his family were magical freaks, I am the heiress of the Noble houses of Fox and Winslow, my dogs name is Barney while my owl's name is Hooter. My favorite color is blue. I've written to me best friend, you Sirius, since I was nine after I tumbled out of your fireplace. The next time I saw you it was in Diagon Alley in the Quidditch shop where I met James. Then the Alley was attacked and morphed into a seventeen year old boy to protect you two. Took down a Death Eater named Macnair and was crucioed by Voldemort." I took a very deep breath after my monologue before taking on another piece of information, "I'm also a metamorphmagus."

My breath was coming in short pants while I tried to reign in my nerves. Most of the things I said were meant to prove to Sirius that I was really his Alex. The situation with my father was something only he knew, and if I wasn't his Alex then I wouldn't have known at all.

When I felt someone brush the tips of their fingers against my cheek my eyes snapped open to see Sirius looking at me with shining eyes, "You're my Alex?"

I nodded feverishly, "Yes. Please believe me."

"You…" his voice trailed off until it came back with an edge, "Prove it."

Without a second thought I changed myself to look like a carbon copy of him. Peter gasped while James laughed, "That's definitely you Alex. I've had a hunch, but since Sirius didn't say anything I thought I was imagining it."

With James believing me my body relaxed and I morphed back into my usual self, "You believe me?"

"Of course! Now that I'm thinking about it there have been a bunch of signs pointing to you being Sirius' Alex." He rolled his eyes at himself, "We're pretty dense for not noticing."

I chuckled in agreement, but my worries were not completely gone. Sirius was sitting in complete silence, not having said a single word besides asking for the proof.

"Sirius," his grey eyes snapped up to meet mine, "do you believe me?"

All of us were frozen in our seats. The only noise in the room belonging to the crackling fireplace behind me while the anticipation in the air grew thicker and thicker. I threatened to have a nervous breakdown from how long he sat there staring at me with no emotion.

When he slowly started nodding all of the air in my body left in a gust of air. I laid back in my seat with a hand pressed to my chest, feeling the rapid beat of my heart, "Thank Merlin."

I heard a chair being pushed away from the table and I looked up to see Sirius hovering over me with an angry expression, "What I can't believe is that you, my best friend, went two years without telling me you were here. Two years, Alex! I thought we were friends! Did you not trust me? Do you not like me enough to tell me you were here?"

"Of course I wanted to tell you!"

"Then why didn't you!" his voice echoed around the room. "I thought we were friends! Best mates! We tell each other everything!" He suddenly sneered, "At least, we used to. Our friendship obviously doesn't mean that much to you."

"Sirius, please listen to me! You are my friend! The most amazing friend I've ever had in my entire existence!" When he didn't move I plowed on, "I didn't tell you, not because I didn't trust you, but because I didn't know how to do it. When we were being sorted I thought you would have recognized me right away, instead you were busy making faces at James." James looked guilty at this. "Then I thought you would have remembered me when you heard my voice, but you still didn't."

Sirius grimaced at that, "You do sound exactly the same. With your metamorphmagus abilities I didn't honestly know what you looked like so…yeah. I guess I didn't recognize you because I'm a complete idiot."

I smiled softly, "Yes you are." He sent me an indignant look that made me smile, "You said it, not me. Besides I didn't really make an effort to get you to recognize me. I would have preferred if you found out before Remus though."

Sirius' eyes snapped towards him, "You knew she was my Alex?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably, "I found last year on the first day."

"And you didn't tell me?!"

Now that his anger was no longer on me I felt a little relieved, but then immediately felt bad for Remus, "Sirius don't be mad at Remus." His grey eyes locked onto my blue. "I didn't want him to say anything because I wanted you to find out for yourself."

Sirius exhaled a heavy breath before pulling me out of my chair and crushing me against his chest in a hug. He buried his nose into the side of my head and took a deep breath before slowly releasing it, "I can't believe you didn't tell me, and that I didn't see it."

James smiled, "I can. You're smart, mate, but you can be pretty dense."

Sirius glared at him and playfully cuffed and moved to cuff him upside the head, "You're dense too for not recognizing her."

"Yeah, but she's your best mate. Probably more so than I am."

Hearing James say this made me smile a little sheepishly and duck my head so my hair covered my face. I knew how close the two of them were, and hearing him say that warmed my heart.

"Alex?" I looked at Peter. "I'm Peter Pettigrew."

There was a beat of silence before James, Sirius, and I began laughing with Remus chuckling along. Sirius and I fell back into our seats until we could get out laughter under control. "I know who you are Peter," I wiped tears of mirth from my eyes, "but it's nice too formally meet you. I'm Alex Palmer."

Taking a deep breath I looked at Remus, and when he looked back I saw him pale a little bit, "Are you ready to tell them?"

His hands shook above the table top and he put them into his lap where he balled them into fists. "I've also been keeping a secret from you guys for the past two years."

Sirius sighed loudly and I kicked him under the table, "Shut up. It's hard enough for him to do this as it is."

With a sullen look in my direction Sirius hunkered down into his chair and stared at Remus expectantly. It made him take a deep breath and I stretched my left hand out over the table, palm up, in silent invitation.

Remus immediately grabbed onto my hand. I hid my wince at the amount of force he behind his white knuckled grip but made no move to let go of his hand.

"I'm…" he tried to take a deep breath but it got caught in his throat. He gave a few loud coughs before shouting it out, "I'm a werewolf!"

Peter, James, and Sirius all leaned back in surprise, stunned by the loud admission. I saw fear build in Peter's eyes and I waited for him to do something that would destroy their friendship, but James swooped in, "So that's why you always disappear every month!"

"Oh yeah!" Sirius slapped his hand against the table top. "And why you always get so pale around notes times and come back with scratches. Doesn't happen as often now though."

Remus was looking between the two of them with a lost expression, "Aren't you scared?"

Sirius scoffed, "Of course not. Why would we be scared? You're Remus, the most gentle person I've ever met."

James was nodding along, "Yeah. So what if you change into a wolf? It's only for one night a month, no big deal."

With every word that came out of their mouth Remus sagged with relief and his grip on my hand loosened until it was just sitting on top of mine, "You don't mind?"

"No, we don't mind."

I squeezed his hand with a smile, "I told you they won't care." He smiled back.

"So," Sirius' eyes were narrowed onto our joined hands, "anything else you want to tell us?"

I frowned thoughtfully before shaking my head, "Not that I can think of. Remus?"

"Nope."

"Nothing?" James stressed. "No new relationships?"

I raised a brow at the two of them, "No." My hand slipped out of Remus' as I sat back into my chair, "Why? Have you two found anyone?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "I'm not about to tie myself down with some needy girl."

My eyebrows rose in surprise, "No, but you seem content with dragging them into the nearest broom closet to kiss the life out of them."

"Jealous?"

I snorted, "Not in the slightest." An emotion flickered in his grey eyes, but it was gone so fast I brushed it off as a trick of the light. "Do you guys have any questions about any of this?"

Peter raised his hand and I gestured for him to ask with amusement in my eyes, "So, uh, you guys found out one another's secrets and started hanging out because of it?"

We nodded and I answered, "Yup. People were always saying we're secretly dating, but I didn't bother trying to correct those rumors."

"How did you two find these things out anyway?" James asked.

"I saw her hair change colors on our first day back last year," Remus replied. "Later on I just put all the pieces together. It wasn't hard since Sirius tells us practically everything about her." Sirius had a slight blush dusting his cheeks when I glanced at him.

"I found out he was a werewolf by, well…" I bit my lip. I couldn't tell them I knew because of movies and books in previous lives I lived, so I would have to tell them the way Remus thinks I found out.

"You guys know what an animagus is right?" James and Sirius nodded while Remus explained to Peter what they were. When they finished I continued, "I was testing out my form out in the Forbidden Forest on the night of a full moon when Remus, um, attacked me."

The three boys were staring at me with wide eyes. "You're an animagus?" James breathed in amazement.

"And Remus attacked you?" Sirius tacked on.

"Well he didn't exactly know it was me," I defended. "A wizard, or witch, doesn't keep their human mind when in their werewolf form. Even if he hadn't been a werewolf at the time he wouldn't have known it was me."

"I thought you said no more secrets," Sirius accused.

I held up my hands defensively, "It never came to mind."

James was smiling wickedly, "What's your form?"

With mischievous eyes I pushed back my chair until I deemed it enough space and crouched onto all fours. Now that I've done this several times to help out Remus I've become pretty adept at the change. It only took a couple of seconds to complete it, and the reactions made it worth telling them about it.

Peter looked absolutely frightened at seeing a grizzly bear not six feet away. Remus was indifferent since he's seen it so many times. James and Sirius were both looking at me in amazement before scrambling over to dig their hands into my fur. Their voices mingled together but I understood that they thought I was "bloody brilliant" and needed to teach them to become animagi as well.

I rolled my blue eyes before reverting back to my normal self. The boys immediately pulled their hands away and returned to their seats. "I don't see why I can't teach you," they cheered, and even Peter gave a small but excited smile, "But you need to know, right now, that becoming a animagus isn't something to be taken lightly. If you aren't careful you can get really messed up. Stuck as half an animal and unable to change back. It takes a lot of patience to pull off."

The boys nodded seriously. "It'll be alright Alex," James assured me, "we're completely patient."

All I could do in response was sigh, "We'll start another day. It's too late to do it now, and you guys have to take a potion to figure out what your animagus is before trying to turn into it."

James and Sirius mock saluted before rising out of their seats. Peter scrambled to follow while Remus and I stood patiently. Remus, James, and Peter strode towards the door while Sirius lingered behind to look me in the eye, "I've missed you, Alex."

I smiled softly, "As have I. I really am sorry I didn't tell you."

He sighed, "I know, but it would have been nice to know my best mate was in the same school as me. You could have gone into Gryffindor and been a Marauder with us!"

I chuckled, "That's alright Sirius, I can live without being a Marauder. Pranking isn't really my thing anyway, it's yours."

Sirius pulled me into a quick hug as we exited the Room of Requirement. I returned it without hesitation, and when we let go of one another Sirius rushed to catch up with the other three boys while I watched them go with find eyes. The meeting went a lot smoother than I anticipated. No uncontrollable fits of anger, and I could fall asleep tonight knowing my best friend wouldn't be ending our friendship any time soon.


	30. Chapter 30

Now that Sirius and James knew who I really was they made it a point to drag me to the Gryffindor table for almost every meal. It would have been every meal if I didn't make it a point that I have other friends to sit with. My usual eating schedule was now messed up because for first and second year I could eat breakfast with Edmund, lunch with Lily and Severus, then have dinner with Christy, Beth and Eliza.

The Marauders new camaraderie with me was noticed by the entire school. I could barely be seen walking around without Sirius practically glued to my hip. It was funny at first, but it was rapidly becoming frustrating.

Edmund came to my rescue one day and I was able to lose Sirius as the two of us ran off to our common room.

"What's up with you and Black?"

I looked up at the ceiling in exasperation, "Sirius and I have been friends for years now, but he only recognized me after I told him who I was."

"Wait," I looked at Edmunds confused face, "he didn't know who you were for two years?"

I snorted, "Yup."

"That's horrible!"

"I guess, but it didn't really bother me. If anything it was amusing." Waving my wand I checked the time. "I've got to go, Ed. See you later?" He nodded and his green eyes watched me walk away until the common room door closed behind me.

I had to leave Edmund behind because earlier that day I'd made arrangements with a third year Hufflepuff boy to help him with his Defense homework. I didn't think much of it, but after just ten minutes of studying I could tell he didn't need any help at all. "Why are we here, Ryan?"

He looked at me with wide eyes, trying to look innocent, "I need help with my Defense essay."

"No you don't. I haven't said a single thing for the past five minutes while your quill is flying over that page with the information you've already found for this. Why am I here?"

The fake innocent look was replaced by insecurity, "Well, uh, you know that you're really pretty right?"

My eyebrows rose incredulously, "Not really. Why?"

Ryan fidgeted under my piercing stare, "You're the prettiest girl in our entire year and I wanted you to know that."

That was the day I gained my first, proper make-out session as Alex Palmer. Compared to what I could remember as Édouard it lacked the experience I was used to, but that didn't matter. The innocence certainly made up for it.

Apparently Ryan bragged about the experience because Sirius confronted me about it, "You snogged Ryan Chapman?"

I looked up from the potion I was making to see Sirius standing opposite from me with his arms folded across his chest. James, Peter, and Remus were watching the interaction from the table we always sat around. "I did."

Sirius' eyebrows furrowed, "Why?"

"Why do you snog girls?"

His mouth opened before snapping shut with a clack. When he failed to provide an answer I waved the other boys over, "The potion's done. All you need to do," I poured the potion into three vials and handed one to everyone but Remus, "is drink that. You'll have a vision that will give you hints to what you could be, and when you wake up we'll figure out what you guys are."

James, Peter, and Sirius all glanced at each other before looking at the potion in their hands. Sirius broke first and knocked back the potion in one go. His eyes were squeezed shut in preparation, and when nothing immediately happened he opened one eye. "Is that–" his sentence went unfinished as his body skunked back on a chair I had the Room conjure.

Peter looked even more scared after seeing his friend collapse, but James just knocked back the potion as well and I got another chair for him to fall in. "Go on Peter, it doesn't hurt or anything." To make him feel better I got another chair and had him get comfortable in it. Once he felt a flash of courage he drank some of the potion.

"All of it Peter."

He sent me a pained look before gulping down the rest of it. There was a pained look on his face before it slackened from passing out.

Remus and I stared at their passed out forms before finally looking at each other. I shrugged, "I'm gonna do some homework. They might take a while."

We sat down at the table and I pulled out everything I would need for my Care of Magical Creatures essay. The class was becoming one of my favorites because I've always been an animal lover, and to have them be magical animals made it ten times better.

Half an hour later Sirius woke up with James not too far behind. They looked at each other with dazed eyes before smiling and exclaiming, "Wicked!"

I looked up at them from my half finished essay, "What did you guys see?"

Sirius dropped into his seat on my right and leaned forward eagerly, "I had black fur, ran and walked on four legs, howled and barked, and scared people."

My eyebrows rose on the last detail, "I was going to say you were a dog, but the last one is throwing me off."

"I only scared wizards though," Sirius pointed a finger at me. "Other people, muggles I think, would pet me, so I'm definitely some sort of black dog."

Remus hummed, "So you're a big black dog that wizards are scared of?"

"Oh!" we all looked at James. "Could you be a grim?"

Sirius gasped, "Can I? That would be bloody amazing. I'd get to scare everybody mum invites for tea."

"No," I snapped. "Not unless you plan on registering your form. In that case you can ask Mcgonnagal to continue teaching you instead of me since she actually knows how to do it. If we are doing this together, in secret, then we can't tell or show anybody else."

"Alex," I looked at an incredulous Remus, "you aren't registered?"

"You technically don't have to register until you're of age, but," I shrugged, "I'm still not gonna do it."

"You could get sent to Azkaban for that!" Remus exclaimed.

"It's not like anyone is going to look at a grizzly bear and think, 'Oh no it's an animagus!'. Besides what if I have to run away from the law? Hiding in the wild as a bear is the last place they would look."

Sirius nodded, "I have to agree with Alex on that one."

Peter groggily sat down with us now that his vision was over, "I'm not gonna register."

We all looked at him in surprise. Of all people in this group he would be the last to do something so law breaking. "Why not?"

Peter looked at me in embarrassment, "I'm a mouse."

There was a beat of silence before Sirius let out a bark of laughter, "That fits you so well!"

"So Peter's a mouse, and Sirius is most likely the grim," James listed. "I'm some sort of forest animal."

I frowned thoughtfully, "Do you walk on four legs?" He nodded. "Are you big?" Another nod. "The first thing that comes to mind when I think of a four legged animal in a forest is a deer. Could that be it?"

"Probably, since I had hooves."

I scoffed, "That little detail would have helped."

"So," Sirius looked at me excitedly, "when can we start?"

I looked at their excited faces and shook my head amusedly, "You can't just start changing right off the bat, you need to study more about your animal. Things like their skeletal structure and where all of their organs are placed. How different their senses are set up compared to ours. Sirius has to figure out if he's actually a grim or just a dog who hates wizards. Peter, you have to find out what kind of mouse you are since there are different kinds. James also has to find out what kind of deer he is."

When I listed all of the things they had to figure out their faces lost their excitement, and it was replaced by despair. "We have to study?" James asked forlornly.

I nodded, "Well yeah. I studied for, I think three years, before trying to start my changes." The thought of studying for years at a time had the boys paling. Remus always was the studious one in their group. I've never seen the other three step foot in the library for anything.

Asking the Room for help I saw three bookcases appear on the wall to my left. The other boys looked at it in surprise and I walked over to see each case had a theme. "James," I put my hand on the first case, "you can read these. Peter you read those," I pointed to the case next to it, and then the case after that, "and Sirius read those."

"You want us to read?" Sirius looked green.

"If you want to become your animagus then yes, you'll have to read."

The three boys groaned pitifully and dragged themselves out of their seats to grab a book. I walked over to Remus and sat down in my chair to finish my essay, "Those boys are hopeless."

Remus chuckled, "They were your friends first."

I snorted, "I know." I looked over at them when I heard books being thrown. Sirius glanced at me, and when he saw me staring back he smiled, but the moment was ruined when Peter pelted his chest with a book, causing the three boys to start wrestling. "I wouldn't change them for anything."

* * *

 **AN: Two chapters in one day! Sorry about that. This one isn't too interesting but whatever.**


	31. Chapter 31

James, Sirius and Peter may not have liked studying their animals, but they took it very seriously. They didn't want to mess up their transformations because they were careless. It helped when I turned into my bear form to show them how much fun it was to be an animal.

Constantly changing with my matamorphmagus and animagus abilities had Sirius calling me "Switch" instead of Alex. James caught on to the nickname outside of the Room of Requirement and it spread to Peter and Remus. They were the only ones to call me that since nobody else understood the meaning behind the name.

The three other Marauders spent all of their free time reading up on their animagus forms. I felt a swell of pride every time I saw them with a book on they're hand that wasn't prank related.

With the reading James figured out he was a stag. Sirius confirmed he was a grim–which pleased him to no end. Peter found out his form wasn't a mouse, but a brown rat. The information struck a chord in me, and when I meditated on it I remembered how the Harry Potter movies mentioned them as animagi with Peter being a traitor.

The risk of Peter falling into the hands of the Dark Lord weighed heavily on my mind. I kept watchful eyes on the skittish blonde boy and couldn't help but agree that a rat fit him rather well.

I mentioned it to Sirius one day.

"Don't you think it's odd that Peter would be a rat?"

Sirius turned a page in the book he was currently reading to learn about grim's, "No, why?"

"Well, why isn't he something like a mouse? Or even a bird? Both are skittish, yet he's a rat. Not the most amazing creature."

He snorted, "That's why he doesn't want to register. You know Peter doesn't like his animagus form as much as we like ours."

I gave a resigned sigh. That was very true, but just because he doesn't like it didn't mean the animal didn't reflect what was already inside of him.

"Why the sudden interest, Switch?"

All I did was shake my head and return to my Charms essay, "No reason, Siri." The threat of war was relatively new to the Wizarding World. Voldemort's first appearance was that day in Diagon Alley all those years ago, but now he was biding his time by targeting mundane towns and collecting more followers. Third years wouldn't be worrying about it, so I would have to bring it up again at a later time.

Outside of my studies I found time to look at the bulletin board in the Ravenclaw Common Room and see when Quidditch tryouts were being held. That was why, on a chilly autumn morning, I was standing out on the pitch with my broom in one hand, a bat in the other, and my eyes glued to the Ravens trying out for Chaser.

The Keeper position was fought for next, and after that the Beaters. I threw one leg over my broom and shot into the air. It was harder to control your broom with only one hand, but I could do it by using my thighs for extra help. Something the other positions didn't have to rely on as much.

The goal was to hit the bludgers at one another until only one rider was left on their broom. We had spells and extra padding on to prevent any serious damage, but it would still leave some nasty bruises, and a fall from too high in the air could snap your neck.

Fighting for the position was me, a sixth year, two fourth years, and the boy from my year named Gabriel.

A quick shot from Gabriel had one of the fourth years tumbling from their broom. I quickly retaliated by swooping in the path of the bludger and hitting it straight at the third year boy. I saw his look of surprise before he was hit right in the stomach. I winced in sympathy but moved my eyes onto the remaining two opponents.

The sixth year was floating on his broom in a rather lazy fashion. It irritated me to see his arrogant expression. Him believing he was better and a shoo in for the position. I glanced at the fourth year girl and saw her readying herself for a bludger. Moving my broom right in between them I pretended not to notice as the crazy ball was hit straight towards me. At the last second I leaned to my left, making me spin around my broom until I was hanging upside down.

The bludger flew right over me and I watched as it sailed straight into the other boys dominant arm. He screeched like a little girl and I laughed as his broom jerkily dove towards the ground from his loss of control.

Pulling myself upright I looked around for any sign of a bludger but found none. When my eyes failed me I closed them and let my hearing take over. As an animagus some of the traits of your animal is partially transferred to your human form. It's why Sirius' laughter is bark like, and Peter seems to really like cheese. My senses were heightened since my form was a bear.

If my ear could twitch it would have. The sound of whistling wind came from my direct left and my eyes snapped open at the same time I twisted my body to bring my bat against the oncoming bludger. The sound it made resonated over the pitch and I watched it shoot back at the fourth year who brought up her own bat in defense, but the force knocked it out of her hand.

A whistle from down below had us landing on the ground. It felt good to stand on solid ground. Flying was an exhilarating experience, but after a while it will make anyone sore.

The team captain, some Gregory Wood, announced that the results would be posted in about a week. During that week I planned my birthday gift for Sirius. It wasn't until November 3rd, less than a month away, but I still didn't have anything. I could get the usual candy and prank items, but that didn't feel good enough.

Buying him a gift obviously meant I would need to leave the castle, but the only time students were allowed to leave was on Hogsmead weekends. I debated leaving through a secret passageway after classes but decided against it. Instead I waited until Friday evening before approaching Albus Dumbledore.

I couldn't tell the Marauders because Sirius would whine and complain about wanting to come with, both to leave the castle and to see what I was getting him. Not telling him would probably give him a heart attack should he figure out I wasn't in the castle. That would result in the teachers finding out and it would all be one big mess.

I haven't given the old headmaster much thought the last two years while in Hogwarts. He never approached me and I never approached him because we never had a reason to. I was just a student and him a teacher the kids would go to for certain types of help. I suppose I could have gone to Professor McGonagall or Flitwick, but I wanted to meet Albus Dumbledore.

His light blue eyes really did twinkle behind his spectacles. Some might say it was from wisdom but I think it was more of a universal amusement that said "I know things others don't!". I wasn't sure if I should have been worried or not.

"Sir, I was wondering if I would be allowed to leave the castle."

His white eyebrows rose, "Why is that, Miss Palmer?"

"Sirius' birthday is coming up," I explained. "I wanted to get him a gift from Diagon Alley because then I would have privacy."

"Can you not find what you need at Hogsmead?" Dumbledore's voice held only curiosity.

I pursed my lips, "I wanted to get him something a bit more…special. Diagon has a lot more options then the village does, and I'm going with the Marauders for the upcoming trip this weekend so I would be with Sirius the whole time." The black haired boy pretty much demanded I went with them, and I didn't argue. There were other weekends for me to hang out with my other friends.

"I'm not sure it would be wise for you to go by yourself, Miss Palmer," the twinkle in his eyes dimmed. "News of a dark lord has been spreading. If he attacks Diagon you would be in trouble."

"Isn't everybody in trouble?" I asked lightly. "Voldemort already made his move yesterday by attacking a small magical community miles away from here. I imagine he would rest his troops before attacking a big place like Diagon Alley."

Dumbledore looked surprised, "You speak his name without hesitation."

I smiled a little, "If I fear the name then I would only increase my fear of the thing itself. Voldemort is nothing but an attention seeker. He's preaching pureblood supremacy right? I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't even a pureblood."

Dumbledore regarded me with a calm, calculating expression. "Indeed," he muttered.

I changed the topic before I said anything stupid, "About Diagon Alley, sir, can I go?"

He reached over his desk to pop some sort of caramel candy in his mouth, and I waited patiently for him to finish. I was 175 years old. Enough time for me to know he was stalling to think of a proper response.

"I will allow you to go, but," he held up a hand and rummaged through his drawer before pulling out a tattered charm bracelet, "when you are done, or if there is any trouble, say 'Headmasters Office' and it will bring you here."

I attached the bracelet to my wrist with a small thanks. "How will I get there?"

Dumbledore led me over to his fireplace, "Are you familiar with Floo?" My answering groan made him chuckle. "Go to the Leaky Cauldron. I believe two hours will be enough time for shopping, yes?"

"Yes sir." Taking a handful of the silvery powder I stepped into the green flames and threw them down with a loud "Leaky Cauldron!". My body was immediately sucked through dozens of fireplaces before I was shoved out into the lively pub connected to the Alley. When landing I stumbled only slightly.

With only two hours to shop I made my way through the Alley as quickly as possible. My eyes flicked over every shop until I found the pet store. A mischievous grin stole over my features and I entered the store swiftly. When I left I had a bag of owl treats and food for Hooter, some toys for Rose, and a dog collar for Sirius. Just a little gag gift since his animagus was a grim.

I didn't know what to get him for his birthday, but I found some fuzzy socks to give to Dumbledore on Christmas.

In the end I bought him a wand holster and a warm cloak in my favorite shade of blue, along with the newest broom on sale I knew he didn't have, and a kit to clean it with. I bought myself the broom and kit as well even though I wasn't sure if I made it onto the team.

The shopping went off without a hitch, and I found myself dumped in Dumbledore's office from the bracelet portkey. I was left as a heap on the ground with my bags strewn about, and Dumbledore only chuckled at me.

"Find everything you need, Miss Palmer?"

I grumbled irritably, regretting the socks I bought him, and pushed myself up from the ground to collect my bags, "Just fine, Headmaster." Handing back the bracelet with a polite nod I set off for Ravenclaw tower with a determined air. I would check to see if the Quidditch results were up, and after that I would retreat to the peaceful atmosphere of my dorm room to wrap the presents I bought that day.


	32. Chapter 32

As a Marauder that made Sirius, along with James, Remus and Peter, the most popular guy in school. Which was why the entire Gryffindor Common Room was decked out in all sorts of decorations with a buffet table covered in food and drinks and a giant cake in the middle that I asked the elves to shape into a 3D grim. Everybody at the party sent it wary glances, but as the night wore on it went ignored.

I was the only non-Gryffindor invited to the party. No doubt Christy, Beth and Eliza would be drilling me for details the next morning, but for now I was content to weave my way through the crowd with a cup of firewhisky in hand. Occasionally I would be engaged into a conversation. Sometimes it ended in a nice make-out session. Usually that was with a guy, but two were girls.

The guy I was currently with got ripped away from me, and my eyes snapped open in surprise to see Sirius glaring icily at the fifth year. When the fifth year disappeared into the crowed Sirius looked me over critically, "He didn't hurt you did he?"

We had to yell in order to be heard over the music and talking. "No," I rolled my eyes. "Honestly Sirius, we were just kissing. And don't you say another thing about it," I held up a hand to stalk him, "you make-out with people all the time."

He huffed and crossed his arms.

Seeing this made me chuckle, "I have presents for you."

His grey eyes shone, completely forgetting about what we were talking about, "Where?"

The commanding tone had my eyebrows rose up my forehead, "I'm not too sure you deserve them."

"No! I need them!" Sirius gripped my shoulders and shook me, "I'm sorry please forgive me where are they?!"

I pushed his hands off of my shoulders and nodded my head towards the stairs leading up to the boys dormitory, "I'd rather open them somewhere quietly." When he started to waggle his eyebrows I hit his chest, "Nothing like that. I'll meet you up there."

Without waiting for Sirius to answer I slipped by him and rushed up the stairs. The third door on the right had four gold plaques, each engraved with the name of a Marauder. Knowing this was their dorm I strode inside and reached into my pockets to pull out the shrunken gifts.

The door burst open, allowing four boys and the thumping music from the common room to pour inside. I raised an amused brow as I smirked down at the heap of boys, "What's the hurry?"

They grumbled at me while trying to shove each other away so they could stand up. I waited patiently until all four of them were standing before picking out Sirius' bed and sitting on his trunk. "These," I held up the wrapped presents, "are for you."

He ripped them from my hands with an excited grin, plopping himself down next to me so we were squished together, "What are they?"

"If you open them then you'll find out."

Sirius waisted no time ripping through the first gift. It was the smallest of the five and I sat with a shark-like grin as he pulled out the black dog collar.

There was a brief five seconds of silence before James cracked up. He fell back onto his bed with his arms crossed over his stomach and tears of mirth slipping across his temples and into his messy black hair. "That–" he gasped "–is brilliant!" Peter nodded along with his own subdued chuckles while Remus wiped his own tears from his eyes.

Sirius was glaring at me, but the affect was reduced by the amusement I could see dancing in his grey eyes, "Think this is funny, do you?"

I shrugged, not bothering to hide my smile, "I actually think it's hilarious." My own blue eyes locked with his and I couldn't bring myself to look away. He really did have gorgeous eyes. I'd never seen any that particular color in any life. I couldn't imagine him with any other color.

A deliberate cough from across from us broke whatever spell had been over us and I shook my head. Sirius blinked a few times before playfully narrowing his eyes at me, "I'll get you back for that."

He picked up his next gift and 'ooh'ed over the wand holster. It was made from dragonhide and I asked Ollivander to make it especially for Sirius' wand. The other boys admired it while Sirius opened up the blue cloak I'd bought. He rubbed the material with his thumb and forefinger, "Thanks. I was in need of one of these."

The last two items for him to unwrap were the ones I was most excited about. He seemed excited too because the shape gave away what the broom was.

Without hesitation he tore into the paper and whooped when he saw it was the newest model, "Alex you're amazing!" Sirius jumped off the trunk and pulled me into his arms to plant a bug, wet kiss on my forehead.

I rubbed the saliva away with a disgusted expression, but his happiness made me feel better about it, "You're welcome."

"Aw, Switch!" James whined. "Why don't I get a broom?"

"Because it's not your birthday," I said frankly. Another happy exclamation let me know Sirius had opened the broom kit.

James spluttered, "But we're friends! Friends are supposed to buy their friends new brooms."

My eyebrows rose incredulously, "Really? Then where's my broom?" I made a show of looking around the room, and when I obviously didn't find it I gave him a questioning expression.

He huffed and crossed his arms while Remus chuckled and Peter brined minutely.

"Thanks Switch," Sirius slung his arm over my shoulders, "you did good."

I rolled my eyes, "Of course I did." Slipping out from under his arms I turned to face the whole room, "I have an announcement to make, and I thought I'd wait to say it until tonight."

Remus' eyebrows rose, "And what would that be?"

"You…" I paused to look each one of them in the eye, building the anticipation, "are looking at the new beater for the Ravenclaw quidditch team."

James immediately grinned, "Nice job, Switch!" He walked over and clasped my forearm, "I knew you were meant for the sport. You could give Sirius a run for him money."

"Oi!" Said black haired boy gave James a playful shove, "I'm way better than her."

My eyebrows rose, "That's what you think."

Peter gave a small 'ooh' at the challenge while Sirius smirked. It was quickly replaced by a worried expression, "But what if you get hurt?"

I snorted, "I'll be fine Sirius."

James nodded, "She's really good Sirius."

Remus walked over to join the four of us, "I think it's great." We shared a small smile, not noticing the flicker of suspicion in Sirius' eyes.

I suddenly remembered something, "Have you boys been studying?"

James and Sirius groaned while Peter frowned. They knew I was talking about their animagi transformations. They wanted to start the changes already but I knew they weren't ready since they've only been studying for a few months. To have a safer transformation they needed to know their forms inside and out.

"Get to it men!" I gave each one of them a parting hug. Sirius lingered a second longer, but I brushed it off. He didn't seem to notice it. "I'm off to my own dorm where it's quiet enough for me to hear my own thoughts."

The boys said their parting goodbyes before I made my way down to the common room and wove my way through the throng of people before finally approaching the portrait hole. Slipping out was easy enough, and I was halfway down the hall when I heard someone shout my name. Spinning around I felt a small smile grow on my lips, "Hey Lily."

She gave me a smile of her own, one much brighter than mine, "Where are you off to, Alex?"

"I've got to get back to my common room before curfew. That and I've got some homework to do."

Lily nodded in understanding, "Lucky. I have to deal with that for–probably the rest of the night."

I shrugged, "If you want you can pack a bag and come crash in my dorm."

Her eyes widened, "Am I allowed to do that?"

"I don't see why not. I mean, I think there was some rule against showing people where the common room is, since its a secret or something, but that doesn't really matter. Remus has stayed with me before."

Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline, "Remus stayed with you? When?"

I bit the indies of my cheek thoughtfully, "I not sure. Last year? Maybe the year before."

She huffed but didn't press the issue, "I guess I'll stay with you."

"Alright," I nodded. "I'll wait here while you get a bag." After watching her disappear back into her common room and waiting ten minutes to come back out we finally made our way towards Ravenclaw tower.

Lily had a disgusted expression on her face that amused me. Her nose was all scrunched up, and had she been anyone else I would have kissed the crease between her eyebrows. But we were close friends, and I didn't make moves like that on friends of mine, "What's wrong?"

"I saw Marlene making out with Black."

A surge of jealousy flowed through my chest, but I immediately stomped the absurd feeling away. Where had that come from? "Who's Marlene?"

"Marlene McKinnon," Lily supplied. "She's one of my dorm mates, and we became friends first year, but now all she talks about is boys."

I laughed, "What's wrong with boys?"

"There's nothing wrong with boys in general," she defended. "I'm just saying the way she talks about them is…gross."

I hummed, "Is she a slut?" Lily immediately gasped and whacked me in the arm.

"Ow!" I rubbed the now sore spot, "What was that for?"

"For saying–you know!" She waved her hands wildly in the air in front of her.

My eyebrows raised in amusement, "No I don't," I copied her movements, "know."

Lily flushed but trooped on, "You can't say that about people! It's rude."

"Oh honey," I simpered, "the truth hurts. Besides," I pressed a hand to my chest, "I'm a slut."

She gasped, scandalized, "No you aren't!"

I chucked, "Oh, I'm definitely slutty. Sure I'm still a virgin, but that doesn't change the fact I like to kiss any guy–or girl–that walks passed me."

Lily looked at me with a mixture of amazement and horror. "Well–But–You–Ugh," she sighed gustily, "at least you don't advertise it."

Now I outright laughed, "Gee, thanks for not defending me a little more Lils." She immediately started apologizing, but I wave it off. "Don't worry about it." Lily knew how my mind worked since I spent time studying with her and Severus. Usually I would finish before them and I would point out people and rate them on a 1-10 hotness scale. Lily would be fighting off a blush in the beginning before ignoring it while Severus just altered between scowling and smirking.

Lily and I finally made it to the eagle knocker and we answered the riddle before the wall slid aside to let us in. We entered quietly and raced for the stairs in case there really was some rule against other house members from coming into other house common rooms.

When we made it to my dorm room without a hitch Lily gasped. I looked around to see what was wrong, but when I didn't see anything I looked at her, "What?"

"You don't have any roommates?"

I shook my head and she groaned, "Lucky."

Laughing slightly I walked over to my trunk to pull out a pair of pajamas. I changed in the main dorm while Lily insisted on going into the bathroom. I reminded myself that people aren't as comfortable around others without clothes like I am.

When she came out in a green dressing gown I noticed her eyeing my simple grey sweatpants and large t-shirt, "What are you wearing?"

I looked down and shrugged when I saw nothing odd, "My pajamas. They're comfier than a moo moo."

Lily looked at me indignantly, "It's not a moo moo! It's a night gown."

Waving my hand dismissively I walked to a desk I'd bought and asked Mandy to place in here. It had all of my homework set up on it, and I took my seat in the comfy office chair. It was nothing compared to the chair on the Room of Requirement, but it worked, "Do you have any homework Lils?"

She shook her head and got comfy beneath the bed covers, "No, I finished it all."

Nodding my head in acceptance I turned off all the lights except for a few candles on my desk to let me see what I was working on.

It was well passed curfew by the time I finished my essays for Care of Magical Creatures and Ancient Runes. With a feeling of accomplishment I snubbed out the candles and let my eyes adjust to the darkness before making my way to my bed and slipping next to a sleeping Lily.


	33. Chapter 33

For Remus' birthday the boys obviously wanted to throw him a wild party like they did for Sirius and are currently planning for James. Unfortunately the party air was subdued because the full moon that month just so happened to be on the same day. It meant Remus waited in the Hospital Wing with me, James, Sirius and Peter sitting with him in silent support.

"There's always next year, mate," James slapped him on the shoulder and Remus tried to give a grin but came out as a grimace.

"Did you at least have fun today?" I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

He nodded with another smile, this time it wasn't forced, "Yeah, today was fun." We all smiled along with him. The four of us made it our goal to make Remus forget about the full moon and instead focus on pranking, birthday food, and Sirius forcing me to play as a circus bear while messing with the abilities of the Room of Requirement.

I'm pretty sure James took pictures, but I have yet to find them.

The click clack of high heels against the stone floors announced Madam Pomfrey's arrival, "What is this? Shoo, the four of you! Visiting hours are over, and it's almost curfew!"

We all scrambled off Remus' bed. My blue eyes locked with his golden, a silent message passing between us where I nodded almost imperceptibly. His shoulders drooped slightly from relief, knowing I would accompany him again that night.

Remus was always going on and on about how dangerous it was for me to be out there with him, telling me that it isn't actually him but a monster he has no control over and no memory of the following morning. I ignore him every time. My being there prevents him from injuring himself once he's a werewolf. All of his scars are results if bad full moons–which were practically every single one of them–but I'm there for the wolf to let off steam and roughhouse with.

We break eye-contact and I follow the boys out of the room and trail behind them for a little bit. Sirius is the first one to notice the distance, "Switch?"

I look up, "Hm? Oh, sorry, I'm a bit tired after today." I gave him a glare but he ignored it because we both knew I wasn't angry about being a circus bear.

"We'll come on then. You can take Remus' bed, he won't mind." He started walking forward but suddenly spun around with wiggling eyebrows, "Unless you'd like to sleep with me?"

His actions cause me to laugh while James rolled his eyes and Peter chuckled weakly. "I'm afraid tonight I'll be going to my own dorm room."

Sirius looked confused, and his playful aura dropped, "What? Why?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Because I feel like sleeping in my own bed tonight." Since I spend a lot of late nights with The Marauders, whether it's helping them plan pranks, find spells for said pranks, or study their animagus form, I sometimes sleep over at their dorm. Once in a while I'd sneak over to Lily's dorm so I could hang out with the girls.

There were five girls in her dorm. Including Lily there was Marlene McKinnon, Mary Macdonald, Sara Vallory, and Carly Winch. Of course I was closest with Lily so I would sleep in her bed. Rose was loved by all the girls and seemed to have become the mascot for the entire girl dormitory.

My only reason for ever avoiding them is because they always ask me about The Marauders. Wanting to know how I became friends to see if they could do it too, and then, wanting pointers on how to get their attention. Mostly James and Sirius though.

Lily always complained about them whenever they were brought up. She tried to keep the insults to a minimum since she knew I was close with them, but it was hard for her. Their pranks were nothing but bullying tactics in her eyes, and I could admit that a lot of their antics could be considered bullying, especially when Severus was involved. Even I got testy with the boys when they made pranks for Severus. They've actually stopped planning his pranks when I was around because I would always warn him what they were. That actually brought the two of us closer, something Sirius and James weren't happy about.

James asked Lily out a couple weeks ago and only increased her hatred towards him. He did it in the middle of the Great Hall where everybody watched her slap him in the face with a loud and clear "No!". Now I was stuck with him mooning over her, the first girl to turn him down, and him coming to me for dating advice to get on her good side. Apparently dropping his arrogance and apologizing to both her and Severus were not options, and I was useless.

The full moon was almost like my own little get away from the drama. That and hanging out with Christy, Eliza and Beth. Of course those three wanted details on Sirius' love life as well so Edmund or Severus were another two I could escape too.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," I waved Sirius, James and Peter away and I started walking in the direction of Ravenclaw Tower. When I was out of sight I pulled out my map to find the closest secret passage so I could get to the first floor.

Since I was using only secret passages I didn't run into and straggling students. I was also able to get onto the grounds easily and run for the Whomping Willow.

The tree was still as I approached and I sent a stunner at the root that caused the tree to go still. Now I could crawl into the passage without having to worry about the crazy tree trying to hit me.

The stairs to the second floor squeaked with every step I took. The entire shack was so run down and full of cobwebs I wondered if I should ever clean it out to make it nice, then I entered the room Remus and I usually stayed in during the night and saw the destroyed bed and cracked walls and decided against it.

Going over to the ruined bed I crawled on top of it and morphed into my animagus form. This was how Remus found me and he silently ran his shaky fingers through my coarse brown fur.

Neither of us made a sound as the full moon finally made its way into the sky. It was torture to hear Remus' bones break and snap into a new place. His screams slowly turning into howls as his body broke out into his russet brown fur with his nail elongating into claws to fit his brown paws and teeth becoming needle sharp.

The boy turned werewolf stood on all fours, not moving a single muscle. His head was bowed and tiny whimpers of residual pain escaped from his muzzle. Now used to his reactions I grunted loud enough for him to hear. His head snapped to the right and his golden eye settled on me. The Remus I knew was gone and in his place was a rabid wolf.

Wolf-Remus turned his body around completely to put both eyes on me. It was completely silent, only broken when I moved my heavy body from the rickety bed. When I made it to the floor I settled onto my haunches and waited for him to come to me.

It wasn't long until he recognized my scent as pack and trotted up to me to smell my neck. I grunted playfully and nudged him away from me, starting off our night with a long bought of roughhousing that put another crack in the walls.

The night was going pretty well. That should have been enough to alert me something would go wrong.

I only knew something was off when Wolf-Remus went completely still. His nostrils flared as he smelled the air. I took a discreet sniff but only smelled dust, old wood, and grass from outside.

There must have been something else his werewolf nose could smell because his hackles raised and pupils dilated. The next moment he shot out of the room and down the stairs. I didn't know where he was going or why, but it couldn't have been good.

It was much harder to chase after him as a bear, but I would have to deal with the lumbering form.

When I squeezed myself out of the passageway I looked around wildly for where Wolf-Remus could have gone. When I finally found his rigid form my heart stuttered to a stop.

Standing in front of the ready-to-pounce werewolf were three frozen forms. James potter was in front with a brave expression covering his fear. Sirius was right behind him with a similar façade of bravery, and Peter was huddled behind them looking absolute terrified.

He was going to pounce on them at any second and that wasn't enough time for me to run over and push him away. To help them I need to act right then and there, so I did the first thing I could think of:

Change back into a human.

None of them have even noticed me and it gave me the opportunity to take out my wand and throw a stunner at Wolf-Remus. It wasn't strong enough to take down a werewolf, but it was enough to get his attention. Wolf-Remus whipped his head around, and when he saw me, another human, his lip pulled back in a ferocious snarl.

I kept my eyes on Wolf-Remus' golden but spoke to the boys, "Get back inside!"

Placing my wand back into its holster I started running towards them. Wolf-Remus saw it as some sort if challenge and started racing towards me too. Sirius yelled something I didn't catch before my body violently changed into that of a bear and I collided with Wolf-Remus head on. The force cause the front of our bodies to rise up to avoid breaking bones, and I twisted my body to fall away from his.

Wolf-Remus shook his head, not expecting so much force when hitting against a human. When his eyes landed on me he realized he had attacked his pack. Guilt immediately set in and he cast his eyes around wildly for the human he had tried to attack. Unfortunately he ended up seine James, Sirius and Peter escaping up to the castle and he felt anger. His prey was getting away.

Any moves to attack them were thwarted when I lunged forward and slammed my body against his. I stumbled a little while he completely toppled over.

Wolf-Remus couldn't understand why I was fighting him. We were pack, and pack are not supposed to attack each other. As alpha he would have to make sure his pack member knew it.

Quick as lightning the werewolf lunged from his position on the ground and sunk his teeth into my left foreleg. I immediately roared in surprised pain and tried pulling it out of his mouth, but that made him bite down harder. With his neck right in front of my face I bit down to try and pull him off.

Thanking Merlin that he let go I hobbled backwards on my three good legs and sunk down against the ground. The boys were nowhere in sight so they must have made it back to the castle. I was relieved because now I only have to worry about myself.

Wolf-Remus was pleased with my actions, interpreting them as an act of submission. He nuzzled my neck and trotted away to the Whomping Willow. Without much of a choice I heaved myself onto my legs, testing the bitten one, before limping after him. Relief coursed through my veins knowing the boys were safe and the bite wouldn't affect me as a human–as long as it didn't get infected.


	34. Chapter 34

The next morning, when Remus changed back into his human self and saw the bite on my arm, he freaked. All the blood rushed out of his face and he frantically looked over the wound while giving me the "I told you so" speech about full moons with him being dangerous. I told him the bite really didn't bother me since I got it in my animagus form, meaning it won't change me into a werewolf. That relaxed him–if only marginally–but it all rushed back when I told him the reason for getting the bite.

That is why he curled into a horrified little ball in the Hospital Wing bed when the other three Marauders cautiously walked in.

When Sirius saw me sitting on the opposite end of Remus' bed with my arm wrapped in blood stained bandages he rushed over to pull me into his arms. "Alex, are you alright?"

I allowed myself a brief moment to relax in his arms before pulling back and hitting him upside the head, "No thanks to you three! Idiots the lot of you! What were you thinking? Going out on the grounds when you knew, _you knew_ , Remus was going to be out there?"

Sirius pulled away to stand next to James. Peter was on James' other side, and I noted his inability to look at Remus, while barely able to look me in the eye.

"We knew he was out there," James defended. "The whole reason we went was because you were out there too."

I thoughts halted, "What?"

James and Peter looked over at Sirius. I followed their example and saw him staring at his feet. "We couldn't find you in Ravenclaw Tower, or anywhere else in the castle. If you weren't anywhere _inside_ the castle then you must have been outside." He glanced at my arm, "I guess we were right."

"What do you mean 'you couldn't find me in Ravenclaw Tower'? Did you follow me there?"

The three of them shared hesitant looks. James and Sirius seemed to have a silent conversation, and I waited patiently for them to stop shrugging shoulders and raising eyebrows before looking at me determinedly.

"We made something," James took over. "This is a secret only the four of us know," he sent a hesitant look at Remus, who had yet to move, "and I–we–are only telling you because you're practically a Marauder anyway."

I sighed through my nose, "What is it?"

James cautiously reached into his pocket before pulling out a folded up piece of parchment. He pointed his wand at it and spoke, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Watching where the tip of his wand met the paper I saw ink bloom across the page. The angle from where I was sitting and he was standing made the words upside down, but I could still read "The Marauders Map".

"What does a map have to do with you risking your lives against a werewolf?" The last word cause Remus to flinch.

James started unfolding the map to show me its contents, "This map shows everybody in the castle, and when we couldn't find you that was when we knew you were no longer there. Sirius, being the worrywart he is, was practically panicking–" Sirius shouted denials but we both ignored him, "–at the possibility of you being out there with Remus. That made Pete and I worry so the three of us went out there to search for you and make sure Remus hadn't, um, killed you." James flinched at his own words, but not as violently as Remus.

"Well he obviously didn't!" I snapped. "This," I held up my arm, "only happened because I had to protect you three blockheads from getting _yourselves_ killed. I was perfectly safe in my animagus form, werewolves aren't as violent or rabid around animals like they are with humans. I've been doing this for the past year now, I can handle myself."

Sirius looked shocked, "You've been doing this for a year?"

"Of course," I confirmed. "My presence as his pack mate helps his transformations be less painful. He no longer gets any bruises or scars–unless our playing gets a little rough, then we both get wounds. Nothing we can't fix with a quick episky or bruise balm."

Peter looked at my bandaged arm, "What about that? He bit you. Turned you into a monstrous wolf like him!"

My snarl very much resembled my bear counterpart, making Peter quake in his shoes, "Remus is _not_ a monster, and you'd best remember that." Sirius and James were looking at him disapprovingly as well. "He bit me because my defending you was the equivalent of me challenging him as alpha. Not to mention fighting a werewolf won't

leave you unscathed, regardless of the reason for why it's happened.

"As for becoming a werewolf myself it's not going to happen because he bit me while I was a bear. Werewolf bites don't affect animals, therefore animagi can survive a bite unscathed–infection at worst." I looked over at Remus' traumatized form and set my hand on his knee, "Even if it did affect me I wouldn't hate you for it Remus. I know very well how dangerous it can be for me to join you on your full moons, but I don't regret a second of it."

He cautiously peeked out from where his head was hidden between his knees, "Peter's right Alex, I'm a monster. People should hate beasts like me."

I wanted to slap Peter so bad right then, and by the looks of it so did James and Sirius. "You're not a monster Remus. Being a werewolf isn't something you can control, even then you only turn one night a month. But the rest of the month…Remus your the nicest guy I've ever met!"

His bloodshot eyes stared at me in shock, "What?"

"Of course! You and your love for books and crazy addiction to chocolate. You're so compassionate, caring, honest. If we weren't such best friends I would seriously consider dating you!"

Remus snorted while a strange look passed over Sirius' features that all of us missed.

James was smiling, "Alex is right Remus. Hell, I'd date you myself if it wasn't for my Lily-flower." Hearing the pet name for Lily made me groan. Just another thing I'll have to warn Lily about so she doesn't fall for the urge to strangle him the moment she hears him say it.

Remus gave the two of us smiles, "Thank you, guys. It means a lot to me to know I can rely on you to make me feel better."

"Oi!" Sirius pushed forward, "I'd date you too!"

I couldn't help it, roaring laughter escaped from me, causing me to fall back against the bed while Remus and James fell into their own fits of laughter. Peter had his own small grin as Sirius smiled at me, happy to know he was able to make me laugh put side of pranking people.

When I caught my breath I had to wipe tears from my eyes, "From the sounds of it you'll have to beat people off of you with a stick."

Remus and I shared a look that threatened to bring us another round of laughter, "Unfortunately."

I snorted and the five of us descended into a companionable silence. I was happy with the fact that the four of the, at least had a reason for being out there instead of just deciding to take a stroll. Their worry for me was flattering, but it nearly got them killed.

"Can you boys please promise me to never do this again?" I looked at Peter first before moving on to James, then Sirius. Our eyes connected, and for some reason my heart skipped a beat when I noticed what a beautiful shade of grey they were, but I brushed it off to convey how serious this was to me, "You put not only yourselves, but me in danger. Stay in the castle on full moons."

James looked at me slyly, "Any other night is fair game?"

I rolled my eyes with a put-upon sigh, "Yes, you can go out on any other night." He high-fived the other boys for getting my approval for going out and setting up pranks.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders, "Well just have to join you after we've mastered our own transformations."

Remus and I looked at him with wide eyes while James grew excited and Peter more pale. "Oh no, nu uh," I shook my head, "it's too dangerous." Remus nodded in agreement, "Alex is right. You've all seen what I can do, and I've already hurt her once. I'm not even gonna let her come with me any more!"

"Now wait just a minute," I moved my attention from Sirius, James and Peter to look at Remus with raised eyebrows. "You're not going to 'let me'? Remus you don't 'let' me do anything. I join you on full moons because I want to help you. There's nothing you can do to stop me, so you're going to have to accept it."

"But I bit you–"

I cut him off, "I don't care, Remus. I honest to God don't care. If we want to get technical it wasn't really you, it was your…other half. Your wolf half. He was making sure I knew my place–despite the fact I would step in should an occasion like this ever happen again."

"Alex…" Remus didn't know what to say to my stubborn resolve to continue helping him on full moons.

James was there to fill the silence, "And there's nothing you two can do to keep us three from joining you. Alex we would be taking the same risks as you so don't be a hypocrite."

I huffed and looked at Remus, "Now I know how reluctant you feel when I say I want to come." All he did was smile tiredly.

"We'll talk more about this another time," I jumped down from the bed. "For now, Remus needs to get his rest and I need to get ready."

"What about your arm?" James asked.

"My robes will hide the bandages, as long as I don't decided to roll them up at some point during the day I'll be fine." I had to roll up the now bloodied sleeve of my sweatshirt so I could wrap the wound.

I looked back at Remus, "I know you cleaned it out as best you could but I'm going to ask my houself to see if she can help make sure it doesn't get infected. And maybe something for the scarring." The word "scarring" made him grimace and curl in on himself, making me sigh sadly, "It's not like I haven't gotten scratches and what not before."

"But they healed!" Remus yelled. "Magic easily healed those, but that bite is going to stay with you forever no matter how faint the marks are. A mark from a werewolf never heals Alex."

"I know Remus," He looked up in surprise, amazed that I was so calm and accepting that he ruined the perfect skin on my left forearm, "and I'm going to wear these marks with pride because they show I protected my friends."

He continued weakly, "But…the scars…"

"Remus get over it!" I snapped. "It's not even that bad!" That was true. There were only about five hole marks from where his teeth punctured my skin. It would have been worse if it was more than an alpha reprimanding a pack mate. "If they bother you that much I can always glamour them. I'll probably have to do that anyway once they're healed to avoid suspicion."

Sirius rose a brow, "Suspicion?"

"People might recognize this as a werewolf bite, then they would assume I was a werewolf unless I told them I was only bitten in my animagus form. Neither of which I want to happen so it's best I keep this," I waved the bandaged arm, "out of sight."

The boys agreed with my logic and we left the Hospital Wing to let Remus get some rest. I sighed happily at the thought of a hot shower and made my way in the direction of Ravenclaw Tower.

"Just to be clear," I turned to look back at Sirius, "you are going to your dorm this time, right?"

I smirked, "You'll just have to check your map and find out." I continued down the hallway with Sirius' playful demands echoing after me. Not like he had much to worry about. There was nothing to keep me from that shower to get cleaned up. Then I had a houself to call.


	35. Chapter 35

Sitting alone in a train compartment on the Hogwarts Express I stared down at my left forearm deep in thought. The bite mark I'd received from Remus several months ago was now a light scar. It would have been worse had Mandy not given me potions to remove infection and an ointment that prevents scarring.

Thankfully whatever infection that was once there had been completely removed. That alone helped prevent the scarring. Even with the ointment the scars did not completely fade away. I was okay with that. Remus, naturally, was not.

Even though they faded the scars were still visible. Anybody could see them if they looked, so I used my morphing to make them disappear. I had to do this even when in private because Remus would flinch if he saw them or just stare at them guiltily. I would need to have a talk with him about it in the future.

A sound from outside my compartment door had me rolling down my sleeve while making the marks disappear. My sleeves were enough to hide my arm, but morphing was an extra precaution.

The door slid open to reveal a smiling Edmund. I gave him a small smile in return. In the past year we haven't interacted much. Sometimes we met up and did homework together, or I'd spend a meal with him in the Great Hall. Otherwise I passed him in the halls or during class.

"Hey Alex!" He took the seat across from me.

I sent a small smile back. "Hey Ed."

The nickname made his smile widen. I was beginning to get the impression he had a crush on me. I should have seen it sooner since I believe it developed sometime during first year. While having a crush as an eleven year old would have been adorable it now made me worried. I didn't feel that way for Edmund, and I don't think I ever would. Heck I haven't felt any love related feelings for anybody in _years_. A lifetime actually.

"Have any plans for the summer?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Probably just stay home and relax or meet up with friends. Unless my mother thinks of something else to do. You?"

Edmund pursed his lips. "I think my family and I are going to France in July. You're welcome to come, if you'd like." A blush spread across his cheeks and he ducked his face to hide it.

A sigh threatened to escape me. I had nothing against him, really, but I was worried I would end up leading him on and that's not something I want to do. "I'm not sure Ed. I'll have to ask my mother, but I'll send a letter your way once I know."

He looked relieved. "That's fine. I'll talk to you later then. I was hanging out with Gabriel and Brady but I wanted to ask you in person instead of over letters."

Nodding in understanding I watched him walk out of the compartment. He really was a nice kid, but I really didn't think I could ever be in a relationship with him. I shouldn't have to be worrying about this anyway, I was only thirteen! Snogging is probably the most I'll be doing with anybody for several years.

I was startled out of my thoughts when more people crashed into my compartment. The four of them ended up tangled on the floor, and my eyebrows rose. Their disgruntled comments towards one another had me smirking amusedly but didn't speak until they found their seats. Sirius sat on my right with Peter on his other side, while James and Remus sat on the other bench.

"Why are you hiding out in here Switch?" James rose a questioning eyebrow.

I hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe it was so I could find some peace and quiet away from you hooligans."

Sirius threw a casual arm over my shoulders. "First: we are much too good looking to be hooligans, and second: you couldn't stay away from us no matter how hard you tried."

I rolled my eyes but inwardly agreed. I loved these boys, and no matter what they did I could never stay mad at them in the end. Although, Peter was a questionable case, but I never let in on how I really felt about him. I still wasn't too sure how I felt. Not betrayed, since he's still just a thirteen year old boy who hasn't done anything, but there's definite unease when I'm around him.

"What do you want?"

Sirius pressed a hand to his chest with a wounded look on his face, but James ruined it when he said, "She's onto us." It got him a kick to the shin courtesy of Sirius.

Remus spoke up, hoping to deflect the other two from wrestling on the floor. "Sirius and James came up with an idea."

James took over from there. "We thought that, since we gave you a nickname, we could get one too!"

Sirius nodded. "Your name obviously describes how you're able to change your appearance all the time, and how you can switch into an animal form. The four of us came up with names for ourselves." He kept his voice hushed so nobody passing the compartment would notice.

Taking out my wand I muttered a notice-me-not spell so no one would notice out compartment door. Remus caught on and cast a privacy spell so we could talk more freely.

"Alright, hit me."

The boys laughed for a moment before James went first. "I've been reading up on the outside of a stag's body, like its fur and hooves, but the antlers were what got me. I think they're absolutely wicked and I wanted my name to be based on those. One day I started thinking about them. How they forked off like prongs–and bam! Prongs."

Peter went next. "Mine was pretty difficult since I'm just a rat. Nobody likes them and there are no cool characteristics like a stags antlers. The only thing I about turning into a rat that I might actually enjoy would be its tail. Sirius said their tails look kind of like a worm and we all settled on Wormtail."

Just looking at Peters face you could tell he wasn't the biggest fan of turning into a rat, and the name wasn't anything special either. Who wanted a nickname with the word worm in it? To make him feel a little better I nodded thoughtfully. "That's pretty creative."

While Peter gave me a small smile Sirius took the stage. "Being the majestic creature that I am it was very difficult to come up with a name worthy enough for me."

Scoffing loudly I slapped him on the thigh. "Cut it out drama queen."

He huffed. "You ruin all my fun." Nonetheless he continued, "Besides the fact I'm a Grim I'm technically just a big black dog. I didn't want anything original like Floppy so I thought of the most recent thing I studied about my form, and that was the pads on its feet. I just played around a little and came up with Padfoot."

I gave him a wide smile. "That's a really good name. It's too bad because I would have loved to call you Blackie." Sirius spluttered while the other boys laughed at him.

When Remus shared his name he wasn't very enthusiastic about it. He only shrugged and explained, "The one thing thats always tied to a werewolf is the full moon. Since my wolf only comes out on the full moon we all decided to use Moony."

"Well," I sighed and looked at each of them, "I wish my name was as cool as yours."

James scoffed. "Who cares about your nickname? You're a metamorphmagus and an animagus. You switch into whate we you want, so if anything I wish my magic was as cool as yours."

I smirked as Remus and I removed the spells we'd put up. "You're absolutely right. I'm amazing."

Now James narrowed his eyes. "I change my mind. Your arrogance is rather off-putting. Your magical wickedness is evil and I want no part of it." He sniffed delicately and raised his nose in the air haughtily. "Let's get out of here guys."

The four of them stood up while we all laughed at James' acting. They made me promise to find them on the platform before we all disappeared for the summer before leaving the compartment one by one. I made sure Remus was last so I could hold him back.

Waving the other boys on I closed the door and faced him. Now that we were alone I could focus on his guilt much more easily.

"Remus you need to stop." I kept my voice low so the three outside wouldn't hear. "I know what you did to me is eating you up inside, but you need to realize what happened was in no way your fault."

He avoided eye-contact. "But it is my fault. I shouldn't have done it in the first place and now you'll have those scars for the rest of your life!"

Thrusting out my arm I pushed up my sleeve to reveal the scars. "Look at them." He didn't look. "Damn it boy, I said LOOK!"

With startled eyes Remus lifted his gaze from the floor. He met my eyes first before they drifted over my arm. The five little scars made the pain flash across his face like it always did when he saw them, and I was done with it.

"Remus I'm not going to ignore how you feel, or sugarcoat this. You need to get the fuck over it." My choice of language had his eyes widening. "The scars are mine. They're on my body and it's my fault how they got their. I don't blame you in the slightest because for starters it technically wasn't even you, and if we're going to be pointing the fingers of blame look at Sirius, James, and Peter because they were the idiots who ran outside on a full moon on the off-chance I might be out there."

My little speech seemed to have a positive effect. "Remus this happened months ago. Nobody is blaming you for it except for yourself, and it seriously needs to stop. Not only are you hurting yourself, but it's making me extremely uncomfortable and I can't let go of it even when I'm safely around you go because I know how shitty they make you feel."

Remus looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry that I've made you feel so bad about them. I understand now that it wasn't really _me_ attacking you, but it still sucks to know I'm still the one you got them from."

I sighed and lowered my sleeve. "I know. I'm sure if I was in your shoes I'd be feeling similar, but it still needs to stop. Please just try not to feel so negatively over it anymore."

"I'll try."

Knowing that's the best I could ask for I stepped forward to give him a brief hug before letting him leave the compartment. When the door opened the other three almost fell in since they'd been leaning their ears against the door.

With a snort I shooed all of them away before locking myself away in my compartment. The rest of the ride was spent in a comforting silence. A way for me to think about everything that's been going on recently.

Voldemort. His dreaded name was making its way into the Daily Prophet. Attacks on muggle towns and muggleborn wizards/witches spread terror through Britains magical community. Before his attacks had been few and far in between, but now he was getting bolder. Already people were afraid to say his name. Instead referring to him as You-Know-Who or He-Who-Must-Not-be-Named. All of my friends were starting to do it as well except for Sirius, James, and Remus. The four of us thought it was ridiculous to fear a name so we continued to use it.

Thinking about Voldemort had me questioning what I would do about him–if anything at all. Regardless of two lives worth of knowledge this was my first magical life. Any previous knowledge I have comes from a movie series I began to forget about. Only meditating gave me clearer memories on Harry Potter.

With my meditating came the reminder Voldemort split his soul. They were called whore-somethings. I didn't know, but I did remember what he made to be his soul-keeping objects. The locations were hazy, but with time I think I could remember where they all were.

Another dilemma focused on whether or not I would tell anybody. Dumbledore would be the smartest choice. Leader of the light and that group. Order of the…Phoenix, I think. He would actually be able to get them since he knows a lot more about magic than I do. Telling him would raise a lot of questions I did not want to answer, and it could also possibly result in his death courtesy of the ring. I could warn him about it of course, but again, questions.

I could tell Sirius and the others. Maybe not yet since they were only thirteen, but I could. No doubt they would question me, but telling anybody about this would lead to questions. I could always think of answers to those questions so it wasn't impossible for me to tell someone, just distasteful.

I knew I would eventually tell _somebody_ about them. It was just a matter on who and when. Dumbledore with his questionable authority, or my friends. Saying it like that made the answer obvious, but I know what Dumbledore would do with Harry. Maybe he had good intentions, but he definitely manipulated Harry's life to get a specific end result.

Sighing gustily I looked out the window and spotted the platform out in the distance. Thoughts of the future war weighed heavily on my mind and would continue to do so until Voldemort was dead. The fact that I had some idea on how he would die could be bad if any unsavory characters found out about it. It's part of the reason why I haven't told anyone I've lived other lives because if people question it I would most likely slip information about the Harry Potter series.

For now I would continue to meditate and store any memories of Harry Potter in a safe place somewhere inside my mind. Once I was older I would try my hand at occlumency so I could have a safe place to protect my memories from previous lives.

With a sigh I got up as soon as the train stopped. Back at the castle I had Mandy pop my bag home so I didn't have to lug it around on the station. It made squeezing through the crowd much easier, and I gave Lily and Severus their hugs, Edmund a goodbye pat on the shoulder, and one big group hug with the Marauders, before I made my way over to my mother.

I made myself look like the happy thirteen year old girl I was supposed to be so mother wouldn't get suspicious. Some sadness must have leaked through because as soon as our apparition trip was over mother asked what was wrong.

"Nothing. Just thinking about how I'm almost halfway done with Hogwarts already." Now saying it out loud added to the real reason I'd been feeling depressed.

After dinner I spent the rest of the night meditating on my bed with Barney at the end of my bed and Hooter asleep on his perch. I was able to pull my thoughts together and decide that I would focus on my Hogwarts education. I could continue reading my books and practicing wandless magic to become stronger. Then I could worry about Voldemort because when I decide to act it will bring the end of our resident Dark Lord.

* * *

 **AN: idk, should I make this the last chapter and continue this into a sequel? It's already the 35th chapter. Aren't you guys bored by now? Feedback please.**


	36. Chapter 36

The first two months of summer passed rather slowly. I stayed home for the most part to hang out with Barney and my mother. Lily invited me over a few times, as did Christy and Beth, but otherwise I stayed home until it was time for school supply shopping.

Mother and I went on a Sunday afternoon. Diagon's streets were pretty busy since I wasn't the only student there to get supplies. As was our usual routine we grabbed the required books first, then I got more parchment and journals–skipping the quills and ink since I still just used pens. There were a few potion supplies that I needed to get and that was it. I saw no point getting a new broom because I didn't want to try out for the team this year. Being beater was nice, but the position involved hurting other people and it always caused me to feel bad.

We finished buying food for our animals, and just as mother tried to apparate us home–she couldn't. I gave her a confused look while she stared towards the sky with dawning horror. If her expression hadn't been enough to freak me out then the screams echoing throughout the Alley certainly did the job.

Mother tightened her hold on my hand and jerked me into a run. It would have been a good idea if a group of robed wizards with familiar white masks hadn't suddenly apparated in the area we were running towards.

Red and green spells immediately spring from their wands, causing even more screaming and panic. All of the chaos would be easy for somebody to get lost in, and of course I ended up being one of those somebody's. Somehow I lost my grip on mothers hand and no amount of looking helped me find her. Yelling wouldn't be heard over the screaming crowd.

I continued to get pushed and shoved by the panicking wizards and witches running by me. No doubt I'd have some bruises and frankly it irritated me. Every single one of them ran away instead of banding together to fight. The amount of Death Eaters was minimal, yet it sent people into a frenzy.

This was the second raid I've experienced first hand. The first time I had to focus on protecting Sirius and James, but right now I could focus on myself.

Like before I made myself older, but this time I refrained from giving myself exotic colored hair and eyes.

Now looking like a twenty year old Édouard Beulieu with dirty blond hair that hung messily against my shoulders, and cold grey eyes sitting above aristocratic cheekbones. The change in body type forced me to magically alter my clothes so they would fit. They were black sweatpants, a tight-fitting black tank top, and my casual robe.

My height gave me a better vantage point to try and look for my mother. I felt panicked the second I lost my hold on her hand, and I can imagine what kind of panic she's feeling right now. It was bad enough with the initial panic the Death Eaters induced, but add on losing your daughter in this crowd–I wouldn't be surprised if she had a panic attack. I certainly felt like having one.

Thinking through the panic I took out my wand. Ideas of dueling a DE were quickly discarded. I'm a third year with absolutely no experience dueling. Sure I know some hexes and a jinx or two, but those won't protect me against a man twice my age and spells I've only ever heard of.

To find mother I tried going in the direction I'd last seen her. Trying to push through a crowd that had no real direction except to "run away" was practically impossible. I only got a few feet a minute. With panic slowly creeping up on the edges of my vision it made it that much harder trying to look for mother.

I haven't said this to myself for a long, long time, but I wanted my mom.

Loud cracks of apparition signaled the arrival of even more people. Freezing in fear I looked in the direction of where the noise came from. Brandishing their wands stood a group of about a dozen witches and wizards. They definitely weren't DE's because their cloaks were bright red and the wore no masks. Whoever they were started engaging in duels with the DE's.

Thankful for the group of people not afraid of Death Eaters I continued my search for mother. I don't know how she could have gotten so far away in a crowd like this, but unfortunately she did.

My progress–minimal as it was–ended abruptly when a body suddenly fell right in front of me. I didn't have time to stop, so I ended up tripping over their head. Groaning from the impact I scrambled onto my hands and knees as quick as I could. Being on the ground was asking to get trampled on.

Turning around to see who I tripped over made me jerk back in shock. They wore a Death Eater mask and the black robes. Someone must have knocked him out. Although kicking him in the head probably helped with that.

I noticed the people running around us kept a wide berth. The idea this gave me was stupid. Utterly ridiculous. But people avoided Death Eaters like the plague, and that gives them room to walk freely. The need to find my mother and make sure she was alright brought out my inner Gryffindor.

So, stealing the mans outer robe and mask, I made my way through the crowd much easier. People practically threw themselves out of my way, and had the situation been different I might have laughed.

Trying to find one person in a panicking crowd turned out to be much harder than I thought or ever hoped for it to be. Sure I had people getting out of my way, but that didn't show me where mother was.

"Where are you going?!"A hand slapped onto my shoulder and spun me around. I whipped up my wand as if it would help me, but the guy scoffed. "Quit playing games, boy, and let's go! We got what we came for."

With his hand still on my shoulder the man, the Death Eater, apparated us away. My already panicked mind worsened. Did they know I wasn't a Death Eater? Have they kidnapped me to torture me in the dungeons?

The second we landed in what looked to be some sort of foyer my nerves, combined with the sickening feeling of apparition, made me throw up the lunch I'd eaten earlier that day.

Everybody around me sneered in disgust, and I heard one guy scoff, "Bloody hell, why do we always get stuck with the newbies?"

Another cloaked Death Eater snorted. "Why don't you ask The Dark Lord and find out?"

The first of the two waved his wand to banish the mess I made. "Let's go kiddies." The two of them began heading further into the building. The other six figures followed after them while I hung in the back. I planned on slipping into some random corridor to hide as soon as possible, but there was another figure I hadn't noticed until just now.

She had luscious brown locks that swept passed her shoulders. I could only see them because she wasn't wearing the garb of a Death Eater. She actually looked rather familiar and– _it was my mother._

A whine got caught in the back of my throat. Dear God, why was she here? Merlin, _how_ did she get here?

Any plan to escape unnoticed flew out the window. There was absolutely no way I would abandon my mother just to save myself. I would protect her with my life, just like she would do for me.

I stayed in the back of the group trying to think of a way to get the both of us out of here without detection. First step would probably be to tell her I was there, but the rest of the steps still needed to be thought of.

Our group stopped in front of a set of intricate doors. The head DE knocked three times and waited until a shiver inducing voice called. "Enter."

The doors swing open and the two lead DE's grabbed my mother by her arms and yanked her forward. More than anything I wanted to step forward and beat them off of her, but I knew that wouldn't help either of us out if this situation. All I could do was play follow the leader. When the others formed a line, I joined them. When they bowed I bowed. I was more than happy to bow though. It meant I didn't have to look at Voldemort any longer.

The two Death Eaters forced my mother into a kneeling position. "We found the girls mother, my lord."

After a heart stopping silence Voldemort finally spoke. "Her mother?"

I could feel the DE next to me shake at the sound of his voice. I didn't blame them considering I had chills going down my spine as well.

"Yes, my lord."

The DE who spoke suddenly dropped to the ground screaming in agony. My body went still as his piercing screams echoed throughout the room for at least half a minute, though it felt like an eternity.

The screaming ceased, but I couldn't revel in the silence for very long. "I told you to bring both. If that wasn't possibly then to just get the girl. Neither of which you did! You all failed!"

I could feel dark magic filling the room. It licked at my arms with malicious intent and I shuddered at the feeling.

Mothers voice was filled with nerves, yet stayed fierce. "What do you want with my family's? We've done nothing to you."

Voldemort chuckled, but it wasn't a happy sound. "Not me, no. Though I do seem to remember a story of her throwing food at the Malfoy spawn." I could see mother close her eyes in shame and I winced. "But that doesn't concern me. I had wanted her instead of you because she would be a good asset."

My eyes widened behind the stolen mask. He wants me to be a Death Eater? Was he serious? Playing beater was the most violent thing I've ever done and I decided I couldn't do it for a second time!

"You want my daughter to become one of your followers? To be no more than cattle?"

I swear to god if mom gets herself killed I will bring her back just to kill her all over again. There's no way I would sit by and do nothing. Did she not think about me while she gambled with her life? I'm only fourteen, I need my mother!

"Lady Palmer I assure you her position would give her a lot of respect." Voldemort sounded like he was on the edge of cursing her. "I've heard she is very gifted I her studies. I only wish to help her."

I wanted to laugh at that one. He really is insane.

Mother seemed to think it was funny too, and apparently didn't feel afraid to laugh like I was. "You really think she would want to join you? Or that I would let her?"

Voldemort smiled maliciously. "I'm afraid she doesn't have much of a choice. She will join me."

My mother obviously didn't like that. As proof I saw her spit in his direction. It didn't hit him, but the sentiment was there. "Then you are a fool."

He sneered down at her, and I saw the anger in his eyes reach new heights. "I can see you will prove to be a thorn in my side. I cannot have you trying to protect Miss Alex because, well, it would be very annoying."

"You will not touch my daughter!" Mother was beginning to sound desperate. The situation reminded me of the day we left father, only worse.

"You think you can tell me what to do? Who I can and cannot recruit? She would flourish here. Don't you see that?" He sighed in mock sadness. "It appears I have no other choice. Your presence will do nothing but hinder me, and I can't have that."

The tip of his wand began glowing a sickly green color. All of my panic throughout the day finally cam to a head and I lunged forward. "Wait!"

Voldemort's red eyes snapped to me. I couldn't hold his gaze for long and quickly ducked my head down. "You dare get in my way?! Crucio!"

What I could only describe as molten lava filled my body. With the added feeling of white hot knives stabbing into every pore on my body. The sensation happened once before, but I forgot all about it. Now the memory echoed throughout my head as I writhed on the floor screaming in agony.

The spell lifted and I was left as nothing more than a twitching mess. "That was quite the scream." The comment gained shaky chuckles. "I didn't know someone could produce a sound so high pitched."

I ignored Voldemort's jab at my girly scream and focused on mother. She was looking at me in confusion, and changed my eyes to their usual dark blue color to see if she would notice. I knew she saw them when her eyes flashed in recognition, only for her to pale moments later. She released a shaky breath and I saw her mouth the words "I love you" followed by "I'm sorry".

Not two seconds later a green light flared to life somewhere behind her. The light then wrapped around her and traveled across her body before she limply fell to the floor. Mothers vacant eyes stared back at me, trapping me in place.

"My lord, would it not have been better to keep the woman as leverage against the girl?"

Voldemort hummed. "I suppose you're right. Unfortunately I cannot change what has happened. Now leave, all of you." I felt somebody grab onto my arm, and in my shocked state I allowed them to pull me up from the floor. "And you," Voldemort was looking right at me, but I couldn't focus on him. "It would be wise of you to never show such disgusting chivalry again."

The words went completely over my head. I couldn't understand them. My thoughts weren't making any sense. Why is mother on the floor? She needs to get up. We have to go. I want to go home now, will she please take me home? I want my mom.

"Come on Randy." The doors swung shut behind me. Cutting off the burning sight of my mother laying out in front of Voldemort's desk. "I know we're new here, but you should be used to a little death."

At the mention of death I emitted a pained whine. Nothing was making any sense. Mom needed to come back now. We were gonna make s'mores in the fireplace tonight. She promised.

"Randy, why is this affecting you so much?" The woman's voice barely registered. "I get that what happened is messed up but life sucks like that."

Rage churned deep inside my gut. I whipped out my hand to hold her by the front of her robes and I shoved her up against the nearest wall. "That's all you have to say?" I screamed directly in front of her face. "Life sucks but oh well! Let's move on as if we haven't just killed an innocent woman! Ripping away the mother of a fourteen year old. Fourteen! What's gonna happen now?" My chest heaved with every breath I took.

"I think you need to go home. Cool down a little bit." Someone gently pulled me away from the woman and brought me down the deserted hallways. "This really affected you, huh?" I remained silent. "Can you get home from here?" Silence. The man groaned. "Look man I'm not gonna babysit you. Either apparate home, use a portkey or do something." The man turned on his heel and disapparated.

My jaw worked silently as I thought of the something to get me home. "Mandy." The hoarse whisper died away and a loud pop followed after. The looked at me with wide eyes. "Little Mistress?"

Tears made their way down my cheeks in rivers and when I opened my mouth again all I could get out was a sob. Mandy immediately grabbed me by the hand and popped me away from the foreboding place that was now tainted with the death of the only family member I had left.


	37. Chapter 37

_Writing_

* * *

Mandy and I collapsed on the safety of our living room floor. With all the panic and shock now gone my mind quickly processed the condemning information of my mothers death. My heaving sobs were ugly and loud, and I couldn't care less.

"Mommy!" My voice was thick, and my nose was runny. "Come _back_! I need you; I can't do this alone! Why did you _leave_?!"

Something wet danced across my face and I opened my eyes. Through my blurry vision I saw Barney sitting in front of me. His sad brown eyes pleaded for me to tell him what was wrong.

"Barney she's gone!" I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer so I could wrap my arms around his neck. "He killed her! Why would he do that?!"

A loud hoot came from above us and Hooter swooped down the stairs to land on the couch behind me. Reaching out with one arm I shakily ran my fingers through the feathers on his chest. "She's dead." My voice was no higher than a whisper, and hard to decipher from the thick quality it held. "He killed mother." The strength in my arm failed and it fell to the floor with a soft thump.

"Little Mistress?"

My shoulders slumped and my head dropped so I faced the rug. I tilted my head and hummed to let Mandy know I heard her.

"Are yous," there was a pause, but because I wasn't looking I didn't know why. In all honesty I couldn't bring myself to care, "yous are saying Big Mistress is d–dead?"

My chest constricted, and it felt like my heart was getting ripped out of my chest. I couldn't find the strength to say anything so I gave another choked sob and nodded.

Mandy let out a distressed noise. "Who killed Mistress?"

Slumping backwards I pressed the side of my face against the couch cushions. I heaved a huge sigh and whispered, "Voldemort."

The next sob that rang out wasn't mine. It triggered more of my own tears, but these fell silently. "What will little…What will Mistress do?"

Hearing the change in title pulled a low groan that made my chest vibrate. The sound distantly reminded me of what a wounded bear would sound like. "I'll, um," I swallowed thickly, "need to go to Gringotts…get things in order." Barney shifted closer and snuffled my ear and cheek.

Weakly pushing him away I heaved myself off the edge of the couch. "Need to let them know." My next sentence only came out after several deep breaths and clearing my throat. "I've got to get the f–funeral ar–rangements." Even if I had no body to bury.

"What will happen to Mistress? To Mandy?"

Rubbing my face tiredly I sighed helplessly. I wished with all my heart my last two lives had made it easier to get through someone's death. As Katie I lost grandparents, both parents and two uncles to old age. They were hard, but easier to get through because I knew it was their time and they went to a better place. Same as when I was Édouard when I lost my parents in that life.

Now? There was nothing natural about mother's death. He murdered her. Right in front of me and I _saw it_. I could do nothing but watch when I should have pushed her out of the way or revealed myself. If I just agreed to become a Death Eater she would still be alive.

"I don't know, Mandy, but we'll get through it." I looked at her with blazing eyes. "I will not let Voldemort get away with this. His reign as Dark Lord will come to and end, and I'm going to be the one to do it."

Mandy gasped. "No, Mistress can't! You's will get hurt!"

"Mistress most certainly will!" I snapped. "Mandy he killed mother," the anger building up went back to a low simmer. "Whether it's tomorrow, next month, or even next year, I'm going to kill him. Are you going to help me or not?"

She looked at me with sorrowful eyes. "Mandy will help Mistress."

I closed my eyes in relief. "Thank you." Lacking the will to get out my wand and use magic I asked her, "What time is it?"

"It be's ten in the evening."

My eyes snapped open incredulously. "That's it?" Only seven hours ago mother and I left the house to go shopping.

Reaching into my pockets I pulled everything out while another tear slid down my cheek. Mother teased me about needed to pull my own weight, so she shrunk everything down and made me carry it all in my pockets. "Can you un-shrink these, Mandy?"

She snapped her fingers without a word, and I shifted through the bags until I found the loose pieces of parchment. "And get me a pen?"

I grabbed the pen that appeared in the air next to my head. Now that I finally needed to focus on something I realized the house was completely dark. The only provided light came from the moon. Mandy must have seen my struggle because the fireplace suddenly flared to life.

The whooshing noise it made caused me to jump and I stared at the cracklings flames in blank surprise.

"Mandy is sorry for scaring Mistress Alex!"

Blinking rapidly to remove the spots from my vision I gave my head a little shake. "It's alright Mandy. Ask next time though, okay?" She nodded guiltily and I turned back to my parchment.

Unable to write on the rugs surface I slowly dragged myself over to the fireplace. There I had more light, and hardwood between the rug and hearth where I could lay the parchment.

"Would Mistress like for Mandy to turn on more lights?" She asked tentatively.

"No."

"What about–"

"I said 'No' Mandy!" Immediately after yelling I took a deep breath. "Forgive me, Mandy." I looked into her glassy green eyes and felt even worse. "It's been a long day."

She shook her head rapidly. "No, Mistress! Mandy should have known better then to push you right now."

Smiling shakily I cleared my throat. "I would love a glass of water."

As soon as I finished she popped away and I heard noise come from the kitchen. The familiar sounds had my lips twitching in a mockery of a smile.

When she popped to my side with the glass of water I took it silently. Not feeling the strength to say thanks or produce a real smile. I actually felt dead inside.

Holding the glass of water I noticed the water inside sloshing around. Setting it aside I held my hands up to the firelight and realized my hands were trembling. I slowly curled and uncurled my fingers, feeling the soreness in the joints, and then realizing I felt sore absolutely everywhere.

The memory of getting hit with Voldemort's _Crucio_ came to the forefront of my mind. I winced at the echo of pain it held. I'd forgotten all about it. Too shocked by the events that played out afterwards to focus on it.

"Is Mistress alright?"

I sighed helplessly. "I will be. If I need you for anything I'll call." A moment later I heard a pop, signaling her disappearance to somewhere else in the house.

Not trusting myself to keep a good hold on the glass I left the water off to the side. Gripping the pen in my right hand as firmly as possible I brought the tip against the parchment and began to write.

 _Dear Sirius,_

 _I'm sorry for giving this to you so late–or early depending on when Hooter gets this to you. I know you wanted to meet up before school started, but I'm not sure if I can._

 _If you get this letter after the morning paper then you'll know about the attack on Diagon Alley. If it's before then, well, then there's been an attack. Mother and I were there. We got separated–_

Wet spots dropped onto the paper, and I raised a shaky hand to my cheek and found tears silently falling from my eyes. I hadn't realized how much it would hurt to write this, but I should have known better.

 _–and I did my best to find her. Even going so far as to steal a Death Eaters cloak and mask so people would get out of my way quicker._

 _I don't know if the idea was smart or stupid. Stupid because I ended up getting found by another Death Eater and apparated to Voldemorts lair, or smart because I found out my mother was with them._

 _He killed her. Mom's gone and I don't know what to do. She…_ _was the only family I had left. Now all I have is a houself, an owl, and a dog._

 _I'm all alone Sirius, and I've no idea what to do next._

 _Love,_

 _Alex_

Folding the parchment into a small rectangle I set it to the side and grabbed another sheet of parchment.

 _To Mr. or Mrs. Potter,_

 _I hope this isn't too much to ask, but I would be grateful if you could send one of those potions that heal the after affects of the Cruciatus curse. I got in a bit of trouble today._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Alex Palmer_

I wondered if I should explain more about the reasons behind getting hit with _Crucio_ , but decided against it for now. If they wanted one before sending the potion that was fine, but at that very moment I couldn't find the energy to explain the death of my mother for a second time. Even if it was just over a letter. I wouldn't be getting replies until the next day, so I could get some rest to clear my head.

"Here Hooter," folding up the second letter the same way I did the first one, I wrote Sirius' name on his and Mr/Mrs Potter on the other, "send these to Sirius Black and the Potters. You know James Potter?" He hooted. "His parents."

Ha snapped the parchments into his beak. Sending me the bird equivalent of a searching look he shuffled his wings before flying up to my room where he could get out through the open window.

Staring blankly into the flames I wondered what was going to happen to me. I could try emancipation, but if that didn't work I might have to go to an orphanage since technically I wasn't old enough to live on my own.

I didn't know what to do. I was always well into my adult years when my parents died. Technically my father was still alive, but he held no memories of me and hated magic so he wasn't an option. Usually I could go on with my life as usual, but there were questions now that needed answering. Would I be the one to plan a funeral? Could I get emancipated or would I be shipped off to an orphanage or my father? Who was even going to come to her funeral? She didn't have any friends that I knew of. I just told Sirius because I needed somebody else to know what happened. He's my best friend, my lifeline–next to revenge on Voldemort. Sure I had Lily, Christy, Beth, Eliza, Edmund and the other Marauders, but Sirius? He's becoming my everything.


	38. Chapter 38

_writing_

* * *

A loud screech startled me awake. As a response I jolted up from my position on the floor, but immediately regretted it. Every muscle in my body was sore, my joints ached, my head was pounding, and the sleepy haze around my mind left me confused.

Another screech, the same kind that woke me up, had me looking at the coffee table to see Hooter. He stared at me with his big yellow eyes, and for a moment I wondered what he wanted. Blinking slowly I glanced around the room until my eyes landed on a white mask sitting innocently on the living room rug.

Memories from the night before flashed behind my eyes. Emotions were quick to follow. The whirlwind of pain, sorrow, loss, depression, anger, and helplessness brought tears to my eyes and I choked on the sob making its way up my throat. The amount of tears I've shed in the last few hours were understandable, and probably wouldn't be the last.

Sniffing loudly I crawled towards the table to see two letters tied to Hooters leg. Reaching out to take them I dragged my limp fingers through his feathers with a detached "good boy". Both letters had my name on the envelope so I opened one that looked like Sirius' handwriting.

 _Alex,_

 _I got your letter after the morning paper. It–I'm–I don't know what to say. It shocked me. I can't even imagine what you're feeling._

 _But I want you to know you're not alone. True you've got your houself (Mandy?) and Barney and Hooter, but you also have me. I'm willing to help you whenever you need it, so don't be afraid to come to me–even though I'm not very good with emotions. I know she was the only family member you had–probably shouldn't have brought that up. Sorry._

 _I would offer my house if you ever needed somewhere to stay, but even I don't want to be here. All I can give is my support._

 _You're my best mate Alex. I've known you longer than I've known James. If you still don't want to meet before the first then you can bet I'll meet you on the train. One hug from me and you'll feel good as new!_

 _Love you,_

 _Sirius_

Folding the letter back up I set it aside. I felt relief. Knowing I had someone out there willing to lend me a shoulder to cry on was the only thing I needed. Material things like a house isn't something I cared about. Reading his words about giving me his support made my chest feel a little lighter. It wasn't much, but I knew it will help me heal.

Taking the other letter I opened it and a potion vial immediately fell out. Holding the letter in one hand I read the contents while keeping the potion in my other hand.

 _Alex Palmer,_

 _I've heard many things about you from my son–all good of course. I also seem to remember a few years ago when you saved him and Sirius from Voldemort and his Death Eaters. You needed a potion that night as well, we're you at Diagon yesterday during the attack? You should be more careful dear._

 _You should have seen the potion inside the envelope. It will heal you from the after effects of the Cruciartus. Hopefully it's not too late to help you. Your body can only take damage like that for so long._

 _Send my wishes to your mother,_

 _Dorea Potter_

Voldemort's name made anger curl in my gut. When she mentioned mother my sadness dampened it, and caused more tears to escape me.

Setting down the letter I uncorked the vial and downed the potion in one go. The results were immediate. My muscles no longer burned, my bones stopped aching, and I could move without my joints protesting.

Using the edge of the coffee table I stood up from the floor. My balance remained steady, and I could release my grip without worrying about falling over. At my new height I could easily see the shopping bags holding all of my school supplies, and between those bags and the front of the couch was a white mask.

Stashing the letters into my pockets I slowly grabbed all the bags. My eyes never left the mask. Ready as if the mask would spring up at any second to attack me. Of course that never happened and the mask reminded stubbornly still.

Looking down at it I transferred the bags into one hand so I could bend down and carefully pick it up. Once again the painful memories flashed through my mind. A pained whine was my first reaction, but soon I was sneering at it. Turning to the fireplace I walked over and placed it on top of the blackened logs that had been a roaring fire the night before.

Over the years my studies in wandless magic have gone rather well. I made it through the first year curriculum and was now finishing up second year. Transfiguration was the hardest spell work I had to accomplish. Even with a wand I found it to be a challenge, but in the end I practiced over and over until I finally got it right. Once the spell is accomplished I could move on. My magic gets stronger the more I use it without a wand, so once the task is complete I'll have no trouble producing the same result.

The spell I needed now was one from first year. I raised my arm towards the fireplace and aimed my fingers. Taking a deep breath for better concentration, I held it for a second, the released it. With a wiggle of my fingers fire shot out and enveloped the mask. The burnt wood kept a weak flame, but I watched with a small sense of satisfaction as the mask blackened before slowly melting into nothing.

My use of wandless magic sent the usual rush of warmth through my body. I relished the feeling for as long as possible until it faded away; leaving me hollow.

Walking over to the staircase I slowly made my way up, telling myself I needed to keep going and not allow myself to crumple into a sad little ball. When I reached the top I nearly did collapse.

The master bedroom had always been directly to the left of the stairs. Why I didn't think of it I'm not sure, but seeing the door still partially open had me breathing a little heavier than a few seconds ago.

I hesitated for several long moments before reaching to grasp the knob. After a pause I went to push it open further–but I stopped. Instead I pulled it towards me until it clicked in place. One day I would go in there to go through her things and revel in the good memories I had with her, but not today. The pain left behind by her death was too much, the wound too raw.

Turning right I trudged down the hall to my room. Everything inside hadn't been touched since the morning before. For a brief moment I could pretend everything was okay. That the last twenty-four hours hadn't happened and mother was sitting on the couch watching tv.

Another tear sliding down my cheek broke the peace. I roughly wiped it way and sighed irritably. Now was not the time to cry. I had plenty of time to do it later, but today I needed to go to Gringotts.

In Diagon Alley.

Groaning from my emotional pain I pulled my trunk out of the closet. I tossed it onto my bed and opened it to reveal the empty compartments. Removing the letters from my pocket I then stripped down and shoved them in the right compartment where clothes were kept. I forgot to burn the thick black cloak that also blanched to the Death Eater.

I put on a clean pair of panties and a bra then stuffed the rest into the trunk. Over that I put on formal black robes instead of sweats like I usually wore. Tearing my cloaks, sweatshirts, and long-sleeved shirts from their hangars I crammed them into the trunk. Next came my shorts, slacks, jeans, and sweatpants. The compartment was getting full, and thankfully I only had three pairs of shoes, one of which I needed to wear today.

The left compartment held my school books, while the bottomless compartment kept my winter clothes, books I've collected over the years to read in my free time, and other miscellaneous objects. It was also the place I had to put Hooter's perch in.

Taking the journals out of the shopping bags I laid them flat so I could place the fourth year curriculum books on top. Next I put in the potion ingredients. Thankfully all in safe containers so they couldn't mix and had no chance of accidentally breaking. I rolled up the loose parchment and dropped it in the bottomless compartment to keep them from getting creased.

Closing the little doors to the bottomless compartment I reached up so I could close the trunk. It slammed shut, and the loud noise made me flinch.

I shook it off and mumbled the password to my secret compartment. With a tug of the handle it slid open. Going back to my closet I grabbed my broom and guitar. I set aside the broom, but held the guitar reverently. My fingers danced over familiar chords, playing a random tune.

Mother and father gave this to me. Now I've lost them both.

Sighing in a sad yet resigned way I carefully placed the guitar into the secret compartment. The broom went in right after and I roughly slid it shut.

Waving my hand I levitated the trunk off my bed and herded it out of my room. Keeping it in front of me I made sure not to let it hit any of the walls. The entire time I did my best to ignore the door that led to mothers room and descended the stairs. It took a lot of maneuvering, but I did finally make it to the bottom.

"Mandy."

She popped into existence to my left. "Yes Mistress?"

"Do you know where," I swallowed thickly, "mother kept the vault keys?" Mandy nodded. "What about bank statements, or any papers she received from Gringotts?"

"Yes Mistress. Mandy be's knowing where," her ears drooped, "last Mistress kept them."

Pain shot through my heart, but I took a deep breath and continued only now my voice was even quieter. "Please get them for me."

Mandy nodded solemnly and disappeared. After a moment or two she reappeared in the same place as before. This time she had a stack of papers and a pouch where the vault keys must have been kept in.

Taking the items with shaking hands I put the pouch in my pocket with the letters from Sirius and Mrs. Potter. I held the papers in the crook of my arm and grabbed my trunk with the other hand.

"Is Mistress leaving?"

I sighed. "I'm going to Gringotts to see if I can get emancipated. If I can't then I would have had to pack everything anyway so they could ship me off to wherever…orphans go. If I can then I'm going to live somewhere else because I can't stay here." Memories of mother were everywhere. One day I would come back, but that would be once I could walk in without wanting to breakdown and son hysterically.

"What abouts Barney and Hooter?" Mandy pointed out.

Humming thoughtfully I went into my trunk to get out more paper and a pen. Setting them on top of the trunk I penned a quick letter.

 _Sirius,_

 _Your support is all I can ask for. Now that I'm alone I have to go to Gringotts to get things in order. This also means I might end up getting shipped off to an orphanage somewhere, so I need you to watch Hooter for me until September._

 _I'll explain everything when we get to Hogwarts._

 _Alex_

Folding up the parchment I wrote his name on one side then grabbed another sheet of parchment.

 _Mrs. Potter,_

 _I regret to inform you my mother and I were in Diagon Alley during the attack. I made it home but mother, she didn't make it. I won't be able to pass on your message._

 _Alex Palmer_

 _P.S. Thank you for the potion._

Folding the parchment and writing Dorea Potter I whistled. Hooter glided onto my shoulder from wherever he had previously been perched.

"Take this to Dorea Potter first, and then go to Sirius Black." He snapped the letters into his beak. "And stay with Sirius. I'll see you on the first."

I grabbed the handle of my trunk and tried picking it up, but it was way too heavy. A snap of Mandy's fingers had it weighing no more than a feather. Nodding in thanks I walked to the front door and opened it. Hooter took off from my shoulder and I stared after him until he was no more than a dot in the sky.

I walked onto the porch and closed the door behind me. "Mandy?" She popped beside me. "Are you able to bring me to Gringotts? I don't have a portkey and can't apparate."

"Yes Mistress." She reached out her hand and grasped my robes.

A hooking sensation behind my gut, similar to a portkey except not, and then I felt like I was floating. The sensation only lasted a second, but I enjoyed it all the same. Not the hook but the floating. Reminded me of flying.

The hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley was heard behind me. This place got attacked a few hours ago. Mother was kidnapped and killed. Didn't these people know that?

"Mistress Alex?" I looked down to see her giving me a reassuring look. "It be's okay."

Taking a shaky breath I nodded. Slowly walking up the front steps of the white building I was grateful for Mandy's presence. It gave me the courage I needed to not turn around and hide.

I got in line to wait for the main teller, and after about thirty minutes of waiting it was finally my turn and I felt a lot more relaxed then when I'd first entered. "I'd like to speak with the goblin managing the Fox and Winslow vaults."

The goblin rang a bell sitting on his desk, and another goblin rushed to his side. "Bring her to Slipaxe."

Vaguely recognizing the name I followed after the little goblin until we came across a door. The goblin knocked once before hobbling away. Looking between the retreating goblin and the door with wide eyes I slowly reached for the doorknob and pushed it open. Mandy followed me inside, still gripping my robes and not letting go anytime soon.

I set my trunk next to the chair sitting in front of Slipaxe's desk then took my seat. Reaching into my pocket I pulled out the pouch with the vault keys then set them and the stack of papers on his desk. Not in the mood to wait longer than I had to I continued. Like ripping off a bandaid. "As a result of yesterday's raid my mother was captured and killed. I would like to talk about emancipation."

Slipaxe set down his quill and rifled through one of his desk drawers. "You will have to fill out a petition then." He slid the paper over the desktop and I looked it over. "A copy will be sent to the Ministry once you have paid the fee of one hundred galleons. Usually one would need a legal guardians permission. Your case seems to be an exception since you don't have any."

I looked away from the form. "My father doesn't count?"

"Your mother removed him from the list. She was the only one listed to take care of you. With her gone you will have to fill out her death certificate," he handed me another sheet, "and a copy will be sent to the Ministry records."

Taking a steadying breath so I wouldn't break down I nodded lightly. "Do you have a pen?"

Instead of a pen he passed a quill and ink well. My mouth opened but no sound came out. I'd never used a quill before, always choosing to use pens because their easier. I regret that choice now.

Dipping the quill I scraped the excess ink from the sides and tip before slowly bringing it to the paper. The death certificate was the first one I filled out. I had to put her name, date of birth, date of death, then I had to explain how she died. "Do people read these?"

Slipaxe shrugged but otherwise said nothing as he worked on his own papers.

Sighing in agitation I decided not to give the complete truth. If I did and someone read this then they would know I'd been in Voldemort's lair and lived. So I wrote about seeing one of the DE's throw a killing curse at her, making her fall into another DE just as he apparated away. That way they couldn't question not finding her body after the attack.

Once I finished I blew on the paper to make the ink dry. There were a few smudges here and there, but overall it was okay.

Pushing it over to Slipaxe I began filling out the emancipation form. Putting my name, birthday, and reason for why I wanted the emancipation. On the bottom there was a line for me to sign my name, and another one for parent signature. I had nothing to put there so I left it blank and gave it to Slipaxe.

I waited patiently for him to finish his work. When he did he grabbed the emancipation form and stamped something over the line for parent signature. I couldn't see what it was before he stashed both papers into a folder.

"The papers will go through the Ministry records. The office in charge of emancipations will look over your claim and you will get your answer within the week."

Taking a shaky breath I released it slowly. "Is it possible for me to stay in Fox Manor?"

Slipaxe shook his head. "As a minor you are not allowed to stay anywhere without supervision. Should you be emancipated then you can, but not until then. I suggest staying with a friend."

I nodded in disappointment. "Thank you." Standing from the chair I asked one last thing. "Mother had the head rings since she was the Lady of both families. She also had a pouch connected to the Fox vault. Is it possible to get those back."

He nodded and I said a quiet thank you before leaving the room.

"Mandy?" She looked up at me. "Take me to Hogsmead and then go back to the house. I'll take care of myself for the week. All you need to worry about is Barney."

"But Mistress isn't–"

"Please, do as I ask Mandy." I said firmly.

With a sad nod she popped us away with the familiar hook and weightless sensations. When it stopped I opened my eyes to survey the familiar surroundings. It was much calmer than Diagon, and for that I was grateful.

"Thank you, Mandy. I'll call if I need anything."

"Yes Mistress Alex." She popped away with a bow.

Glancing at the buildings around me I set off in the direction of The Three Broomsticks. Hopefully they offer rooms and I could rent one of them out until I knew if I'd been emancipated or not. If I am fantastic, if I'm not…who knows what will happen to me.


	39. Chapter 39

Madam Rosmerta was hesitant to let me stay considering my young age, but she did agree. I spent the first day in sorrow, remembering the reason for why I had to stay in Hogsmead instead of home. Then I cried myself to sleep from feeling completely alone. Barney's familiar weight not at the end of the bed and the murmur of a tv replaced with the murmur or occasional yell from bar patrons.

The next morning I woke up feeling irritated. My dreams were nothing but nightmares I couldn't wake up from. I was still living one considering mother wasn't alive, and that part of my dream unfortunately remained true.

My surroundings confused me until I remembered I was staying in the Three Broomsticks until further notice. Thoughts of mother didn't hurt as much as the day before. Of course they still hurt, but not as sharply as before. The only thing that caused me real pain were my nightmares because they made me relive the moment of her murder over and over again.

My anger against Voldemort hit me with a vengeance. My only solace were thoughts of killing him.

I spent my second day sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed and meditated. Usually during meditation I cleared my mind so I could think more clearly. This time I was actually organizing my thoughts and memories. From my brief interaction with Voldemort I realized how lucky I was he didn't use legilimency on me. Of course there's the possibility if he had mother would still be alive, but I squashed thoughts like those. Regrets wouldn't bring her back.

Now I could focus on my meditation so I could set up my occlumency. With my mind protected I wouldn't have to worry about anybody finding out about my two other lives. On the off chance of somebody finding out about them I want it to be because I wanted to tell them, not because they ripped it from my mind.

So I spent the day in bed. First I had to think of a mind-scape. A place where I could place my memories in the way I wanted to. After ten minutes of contemplation I decided to use the Eiffel Tower.

I removed the entrance to prevent anyone from actually be able to get in. As for my memories I put them in the apartment at the very top. I knew there was an apartment there, but since I had no idea what it looked like I decided to make it a bedroom similar to the one from home.

For the minimal amount of memories I still held from my life as Katie Manchester I put them inside a large hole in the wall, then hid the hole behind a standup mirror. The memories as Édouard Beulieu were stashed under loose floorboards that I covered with a bear skin.

Those memories didn't need to be organized because they weren't me. Not anymore. I was Alex Susan Palmer now. Born April fourteenth in 1960. I had nine wonderful friends–ten if I counted Severus. Sirius being my closest friend that I trusted with everything I had. Maybe now I didn't have a set of parents to rely on, but that didn't mean I was alone.

Taking my memories in this life I put them in a separate room I decided to hide behind a bookcase. Since I loved books I covered the walls of the small room with bookshelves. Each book represented a memory. Starting from the top of the left bookshelf I put my youngest memories then worked my way down as I got older. Since I was only fourteen there weren't that many. Barely filled the one bookcase. That didn't matter since I would get more as I grew older.

With a sense of satisfaction I made sure everything was hidden before slowly leaving my mind and returning to consciousness. The sun seemed to have set hours ago, so I changed into pajamas and drifted off.

The next morning I woke up starving. Understandable since I hadn't eaten since lunch the day mother died. Even then I threw it up, so I made my way down to the pub.

There were a few people seated at tables or the bar, but I ignored them all as I took a seat near the window. Gazing out I remembered the Hogsmead trips I'd take to buy Remus chocolate or get Christmas presents.

My first happy thoughts in four days ended by a warm voice to my left. "Can I get you anything honey?"

Looking up at Madam Rosmerta's caring smile I tried returning it, but I lacked the will to do so. "Could I get scrambled eggs, sausage, and butterbeer?"

Her smile turned sad. She obviously knew something was wrong. Why else would a fourteen year old girl stay at an inn instead of home with family? My trunk suggested I ran away, but I wasn't going to offer any information.

Rosmerta came back with my plate and a bottle of warm butterbeer. I managed a small "thank you" before digging in. It felt good to have a full stomach. Made me feel rejuvenated.

Not sure what to do with my plate, and not wanting to it on the table, I brought it up to the bar where Rosmerta was cleaning some mugs. "Madam?" She looked up from her task and smiled gently when she saw me. "Is there somewhere I should put my plate?"

My question amused her. "You could leave it on the table, but I'll take it this time."

She reached over the bar but I felt bad. It lunch hour approached and it was starting to get busy. "Do you need any help?" Her eyebrows rose and I plowed on before she could refuse. "At least with cleaning the dishes and tables."

Madam Rosmerta looked me over with a skeptical eye. "How old are you?"

"Fourteen." I replied politely.

She shook her head. "You're too young, hun. That would be considered child labor."

"I'm not asking for a job." I said dismissively. "I'm offering my help."

Rosmerta didn't say anything at first. Her eyes traveled from mine, to the people still coming into the pub looking for somewhere to sit, then back to me. "You can't use magic."

I shrugged. "Then I'll do it the muggle way."

"Dishes aren't the only dirty things here."

"Obviously."

A wet rag slapped onto the counter. "Scrub the tabletops, and make sure not to leave behind any smudges or sticky spots."

I grabbed the rag with a victorious grin. "And the chairs?"

"And the chairs." She confirmed. "Now get! I want those tables clean before people sit there."

For the rest of the afternoon I helped Rosmerta. All I did was clean dishes and tables since I was too young to take orders or cook. Rosmerta assured me, after the rush hour passed and help was no longer needed, that I helped tremendously. During busy times she used magic for cleaning even though she preferred the muggle way. It cleans better than magic.

After eating a steak dinner I wandered back up to my room. I grabbed my transfiguration book from second year and settled into bed. When practicing my wandless magic I focused on one subject at a time. I completed Charms and Defense since those were the easiest. Transfiguration was a pain in my ass.

The next two days were spent in a similar fashion as before. Ate breakfast, helped Rosmerta (Rosie as I teasingly called her and she pretended to hate), then meditated and practiced wandless before bed.

On the morning of what would be my sixth day staying in The Three Broomsticks an imposing owl pecked at the window. Scrambling out of bed I flung open the window so it could glide in. Ignoring his creepy gaze I took the important looking letter and he immediately flew away.

Ripping open the cream envelope I pulled out the pages of parchment. The very top was a formal letter from some lady in the Ministry. I don't know what the whole thing said since I stopped after reading "You're request for emancipation has been accepted…".

I wasn't happy about the emancipation considering the reasons behind it, but knowing I could live on my own and not worry about orphanages took the weight off my shoulders. The rest were official papers for me to keep. Basically stating I was an emancipated youth.

Gathering everything I took out of my trunk and putting it back I waved my hand and made it float behind me. I needed to go to Ollivander to remove the trace from my wand. Until then I would use whatever wandless magic I could.

Downstairs I found Rosmerta scrubbing down the counter of the bar. "Rosie!" I sang.

She huffed, but from the look in her eyes I knew she didn't actually hate the nickname. When she saw my trunk she became more subdued. "Time for you to hit the road, Alleycat?" The nickname had been retaliation for her own. At first it was Al, then Allie, and it evolved into Alleycat.

"Yes ma'am." Taking out my money pouch I reached in to grab a handful of galleons. "How much do I owe you?"

Rosmerta left the rag on the counter then grabbed a white piece of paper from somewhere behind it. "Including your breakfasts and dinners it comes too…one hundred fifteen galleons."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "That's it?" I knew it was fifteen galleons a night, then all the meals. It should have been at least a little more, but Rosmerta denied it. With no option I handed over the money and took my leave. Before closing the door behind me I called back, "I'll see you during the school year!"

She acknowledged me by waving a hand. I grinned then shut the door. We only met a few days ago yet we grew close. Close enough to give one another nicknames, but not for me to tell her why I stayed there.

"Mandy?"

A loud pop was my only warning before she attacked my legs with a hug. "Mistress! Mandy be's worried about you! Haven't called in days!"

Hearing her gave me a sense of familiarity that made the corners of my mouth lift in a hint of a smile. "Mandy can you take me to Gringotts?"

With a nod she grabbed onto one hand while I used the other to grab my trunk. She popped us to the steps outside of Gringotts same as the time before. "I'll call you when I'm done." Mandy bowed happily then disappeared with my trunk.

Taking a deep breath I climbed the white marble steps into the large building. Just like last time I waited in line so I could ask the teller for Slipaxe. He looked at me strangely after saying the goblins name but a goblin led me to his office. Once inside I took a seat in front of his desk.

"My emancipation was accepted and I would like to see about other affairs." Slipaxe raised a bushy eyebrow and I took that as a sign to continue. "Since I've been emancipated does that mean I can take my place as Lady of Fox and Winslow?"

He nodded. "Recognition as an adult from the Ministry will allow you to take your position as Head of both families. As Head you will be responsible for your family vaults and other such affairs. To start you must turn over your heiress rings."

Silently willing the rings to reveal themselves I slowly removed them before setting them in the middle of his desk. Slipaxe placed them in a drawer and pulled out a box. Inside were two familiar rings that made the breath in my throat get caught. Those were mothers rings.

"The Fox ring goes on the pointer finger of your right hand, while the Winslow ring goes on the middle finger of the same hand."

Swallowing the small lump in my throat I shakily picked up the Fox ring and slid the silver band over my finger. The ring immediately changed to fit perfectly, and the same happened with Winslow.

"It seems the rings accepted you."

I looked up confusedly. "And if they didn't?"

He ambled toothily. "Nothing pleasant."

Clearing my throat nervously I clutched my hand to my chest. "Did my mother have a will of some sort?" I've thought about a funeral for mother, but I've had to go through so many in my pasts. A funeral is the right thing to do, but not something I want to go through again.

"She did not."

I sighed but nodded. No doubt she never got around to making one. "Do either Winslow or Fox have a family graveyard?" Old families have private graveyards don't they?

"There is one located on the outskirts of the Fox Estate."

"Okay." Then I could have a private burial. Burying what, I don't know. Maybe something at the house could be used.

Slipaxe slid two folders across his desk with a familiar pouch resting on top. "These are your financial affairs of both families. A list of all real estate are in the first folder. The pouch holds the keys to your family vaults."

Taking the pouch and attaching it to my belt I opened the first folder and took the house listings. Winslow properties were all in the United States so those were out. Fox only had two places and I decided not to live in one of them.

"Is it possible for my elf to take me to Fox Estate?"

"Only outside of the grounds. You will have to claim the estate before you can enter safely."

My eyebrows furrowed. "How do I do that?"

"When you get to the front gate place your hand on the crest and state your name, and claim your position as head of the family. The wards will attach themselves to you, then you may come and go as you please."

Humming in acknowledgment I hugged the folders to my chest. As I stood up I asked one last question. "When was the last time someone lived at the estate?"

Slipaxe paused to think. "Several decades. Around three generations before you. After so long the wards may be weak so they will use a lot of your magic. I suggest you rest as soon as you make it up to the estate."

"Thank you for your time Slipaxe." His eyes widened briefly in surprise but he nodded to me before I slipped out.

Next on my list of things to do was visit Ollivander. Just like my visit when I was eleven the shop was a dusty mess. Ollivander appeared from behind the shelves. "Alex Palmer. Oak wood, 11 and 2/3 inches with veela hair core. I trust it is aiding you well?"

I smiled politely, though it felt fake. Seems I no longer smile unless I actually feel happy. "I need the trace removed from my wand now that I'm emancipated."

His white eyebrows rose. "What about your mother?"

The smile I'd managed to maintain finally slipped away. "I'm afraid she passed away a few days ago."

Ollivander frowned. "I'm terribly sorry for your loss, and for reminding you of it." He held out his hand. "I'll need your wand then."

Removing it from its holster I handed it over and watched as he waved it in several intricate patterns, all the while chanting something under his breath. The tip of my wand flashed white at the end of his chant and he sighed in accomplishment. "That'll do it." He handed my wand back to me and I flashed him a grateful smile. "Thank you sir."

He waved me out the door. "No problem at all dear."

Outside of the wand shop I breathed a tired sigh. Now I could finally get to Fox Estate where I could, hopefully, take a nap. "Mandy."

I waited a moment before she popped right next to me. "Mistress called for Mandy?"

"Can you take me to the gate of Fox Estate?" When Mandy shook her head sadly I panicked. "Why?"

"Mandy not knowing where the Estate be located."

"But I have the address. Will that help?" When she nodded I sighed in relief and plucked the paper with Fox Estate from the folder. "Here."

Mandy studied the address until she had it memorized then grabbed onto my hand. Without any more prompting she popped us away.

When I regained my bearings I saw an iron gate wrapped in vines. Ripping most of them down to reveal a silver fox I laid my hand on it like Slipaxe told me too. "I, Alex Palmer-Fox-Winslow, claim the Fox Estate?" I wasn't sure what to say so it came out as more of a question.

Apparently wording didn't matter overly much because I felt something inside of me snap–like a cord tethering itself to something deep inside of me. When the sensation began making me feel drained I realized it was the wards attaching themselves to me and replenishing their magical reserves.

"Mistress Alex?"

"Pop us across the lawn would you, Mandy?"

She nodded carefully and took my hand. I closed my eyes to relish the floating sensation before it quickly ended. Opening my eyes sadly I immediately fell speechless and felt nothing but shock.

I was standing in the middle of an empty, square court yard. That, in no way, was the surprising part. What stunned me was the brick mansion surrounding me on every side. The side of the mansion I faced had windows across the entire top half with a large set of double doors beneath them. To the left the walls came together at a ninety degree angle; however, in the right corner it curved out before coming back in and continuing passed me. That curve was part of some sort of three story tower.

Branching away from the third story of the tower was a single floor being held up by four separate brick pillars. Passed those I could see for acres until a line of trees made their way across. I wondered how much of it was part of the Estate.

The bricks ended at a ninety degree angle and another three story wall stood there. That wall ended with another tower where a brick wall connected itself from there to the first part of the Estate I saw.

All in all there were three stories, two towers, and stuck in the middle was a courtyard. Maybe not a courtyard so much as a large square patch of grass.

My smile stretched across my face and I looked down at an equally impressed Mandy. "I love old pureblood families who have money."

* * *

 **AN: I feel like I botched the explanation of the Estate. Basically it's brick, has three stories with two towers diagonal from each other.**


	40. Chapter 40

No doubt the inside was just as beautiful as the outside. Unfortunately I couldn't enjoy it because A) everything was covered in dust with white sheets thrown over the furniture, and B) connecting to the wards exhausted me and my magical core. Mandy had to lead me through the Estate before depositing me in the first bedroom she found.

I didn't wake up until the next afternoon. Almost an entire twenty four hours. At first I didn't realize the time because little to no light reached inside the room. I had to stumble off the bed, walk through the pitch black room with my arms put like a zombie–which did not help when I stubbed my toe on a wall right after my hands touched it.

Despite my pain the I put my hands on it, briefly marveling at the velvet material, and used it to feel my way around the room. Now I walked slower to prevent any more toe stubbing.

The wall disappeared at the same time my foot tapped against something. It started me until I realized id finally come across a window. Grappling against the thick and heavy drapes, it took me a minute before a beam of sunlight finally broke through.

Yanking the drape to the left I squinted against the assault of light. Blinking rapidly to remove the spots decorating my vision I leaned towards the window. This bedroom overlooked part of the property. The tree line was about a hundred yards away, about half the size of what I'd seen yesterday so I figured this was a different part of the yard.

Looking through the window I realized I'd only uncovered half of it, so grabbed the other drape and pushed it to the right. They didn't slide across a rod. To keep them open I had to put them behind a hook attached to each side of the window. One for each drape.

The thing my leg hit against ended up being a beautiful black hope chest with green accents. I had to scramble over the thing to organize the drapes, which ended up disturbing a bunch of dust and the white sheet slipped to the floor.

Turning to examine the rest of the room I gasped sharply and sat on the hope chest. The room was huge and beautifully done. The floors were dark hardwood, but the walls had a base of black velvet material. Decorating that were detailed vines and leaves crawling all over the walls, but not in velvet. Running my finger over a dark green vine I couldn't tell what they were made of, but over all it gave the wall an interesting texture and design.

The black four-poster held a queen sized mattress. Tied to the posts were more black curtains and the bed had a green down comforter with black pillowcases. Obviously still rumpled after laying on it all night.

Against the wall on the right of the bed was a black door with a gold knob. Cautiously walking over I pushed it open and sucked in a sharp breath. While dusty I could tell the black tile floor would be beautiful. The toilet and cabinets were black as well while the counter was dark green marble. The shower and bathtub were combined. The inside of the tub was white, but the outside had more black tiles.

Leaving the door open I stood in the bathroom doorway. From where I was standing the bed was on my right and across the room was a brick fireplace with two dark green armchairs and a wooden table in-between them. On the right side of that same wall was another door. Cutting diagonally across the room I opened it to see a large walk-in closet.

Standing in the middle of the room, where the only light came from the large window, I couldn't help but think a Slytherin would love this room.

Directly across from the window was one last black door. Cautiously pulling it open I stepped out of the green and black bedroom and shut the door behind me.

The contrast between the dark bedroom and the light hallway I was now in surprised me. I expected the same dark colors throughout the house, but that was not the case.

There were six doors in this hallway, three on each side. The doors were painted red while the walls were a light grey. Instead of wood floors or carpet, they were white marble. I'd never seen marble floors before, but I loved it. The hallway didn't have windows, so the lighting came from two beautiful chandeliers. Other decorations sat between the doors, ranging from paintings, a fox statue, and busts.

Now awake and refreshed I felt very excited and couldn't wait to explore the rest of the house, so that's exactly what I did.

First to be explored was that hallway. Each red door belonged to a bedroom that had the same set up as the room I woke up in but different colors. The walls were the biggest difference. All of them had only one color and no velvet. Otherwise they all had the large window overlooking the property or courtyard–depending on what side of the hallway the room was on. They had the fireplace, a full bath, a walk in closet, then a four-poster queen sized bed. Each room had a main color–red, orange, purple, etc.–with silver accents.

This hallway was on the second floor while the floor above it was the same, making twelve bedrooms in total. The first floor had a beautiful kitchen and formal dining room.

To travel from floor to floor I found a door leading into a dark spiral staircase made of stone. Those stairs were the towers that could be seen from outside. The tower at the back right of the house held went up two floors and the floor to the third had a hatch leading into an overgrown conservatory. The tower at the front left of the house was the same, but the third floor was an owlery. Hooter would love it here, though he would be the only owl there.

Branching off of the owlery was that one floor being held up by pillars. It was just one long hallway. No rooms. But there were portraits. All of previous Fox members. There weren't very many, but they were happy to see me and talk to someone.

The end of that hallway had a door that opened up to another hallway. On the third floor there were two doors on the same side of the hall. The other side had windows facing the courtyard to let in natural light. Although there were more chandeliers for when it was night time.

Behind those two doors I got lost in the library that continued all the way down to the first floor. I could live in that library. True it wasn't as big as Hogwarts', but still.

I finally found the master bedroom on the second floor across from the library. It was twice the size as any other bedroom I'd seen that day. Two windows overlooked the courtyard while a king sized canopy bed sat in between them. The sheets and canopy were grey, but the comforter and pillows were navy blue. The walls were the same grey color and navy drapes hung over the windows. Instead of armchairs in front of the fire it was a sofa.

The ensuite was also twice the size of the others. With grey tiled floors, a large shower, and double sink. Even the closet was huge. A room all on its own.

Connected to the master was a study accessible from the hallway. There was one window behind the desk with a bookcase on either side. A fireplace with another comfy sofa, an exquisite rug, and two chairs in front of the desk.

While the library and master bedroom were impressive the foyer was just beautiful. Those white marble floors sparkled from the sunlight streaming in from the windows taking up the top half of the wall. Those were the windows I'd seen from the courtyard when Mandy and I first came here.

A mural painted the ceiling while an intricate chandelier hung directly from the middle. The walls were the same light grey as the hallways. Double doors led to the courtyard while another set directly across the room led to the rest of the property.

This Estate might as well have been a castle. I don't know how the Fox family could have afforded it. We were no where near as rich as the Malfoy's or Black's. I had to look over our money records to see the Winslow family vaults gained an interest of one hundred twenty thousand galleons a year. Fox gained two hundred thousand. Even with payments to this place and the cottage there was an extra forty thousand left over.

How did people live with so much money? I didn't know what to do with it, and I didn't have to worry about car payments. Hogwarts probably had a yearly tuition I needed to ask Dumbledore about.

I knew this Estate was already beautiful, but once all the dust was gone it would be stunning. However, the size of this place would make cleaning take days to complete. Even with Mandy's help. I doubted either of us knew how to manage the conservatory either.

"Mandy?"

Her pop of appearance echoed through the foyer. "Does Mistress Alex like the Estate?"

I looked around the room with a soft smile. "It's beautiful. However," I sighed and looked into her worried eyes, "this place needs some major cleaning. Not to mention the kitchen needs food."

Mandy nodded determinedly. "Mandy be getting to work right away!"

"Wait, wait, wait!" I startled her. "This place is way too big for you to clean all by yourself. Even if I decided to help you."

She looked horrified. "Mistress shouldn't be cleaning! Cleaning is for elves!"

"Yes! Which is why I wanted to ask you how you would feel if I got a few more?" Mandy started blinking rapidly, and I was surprised to see tears gathering. "Mandy?"

"Mistress be's replacing Mandy?"

It was my turn to be horrified. "No! No, Mandy. You're the best houself I've ever had!" As well as the only elf. "I just want to get you more help so you're not stuck cleaning this place all by yourself."

The tears disappeared. "Will elves take Mandy's job?"

I hadn't known Mandy had a specific job. "What job is that?"

"Taking care of yous."

Her admittance didn't see, to mean much to her, but it definitely touched my heart. "Don't worry Mandy. You can be my personal elf, and make sure to keep the other elves in line."

Mandy's eyes widened. "Mistress wishes for Mandy to be Head Elf?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

She shed a few tears of joy. "Mandy be's so excited! Don't worry Mistress. I be keeping the future Fox elves in line!"

Her happiness made me smile. Leave it to a houself to make my day better. "If you take me to a place where I can buy elves then could you get food for the kitchen?"

"Mandy would be needing money for the foods."

Since I'd fallen asleep without changing any of my clothes I still had the pouches I'd been given at Gringotts. One contained the vault keys and the others directly connected to the Fox and Winslow vaults. I gave her the pouch connected to Winslow. "Can you use this?"

She nodded. "With Mistress's permission."

"Then you can use this to buy food. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, the whole shebang. Okay?" I held out my hand for her to take. "Let's go to wherever the houselves are."

With a pop we disappeared from the foyer and stopped on the bustling sidewalks of Diagon Alley. Seeing the familiar streets hurt, but not as much as it would have a few days ago. A sign that I was definitely healing from mothers death.

Mandy left to go grocery shopping, and I looked at the shop that sold houselves. I could see two elves in the window looking at me curiously and I sighed. They looked so sad, and I could see the little padded cells they were in and knew this was going to suck.

I don't know how mother chose Mandy. All the elves here looked so pathetic in their glorified cages, and I wanted to take all of them. Unfortunately I had no need for the dozens of elves that were here.

"Hello there little lady." I looked up to see a beefy man giving me a fake smile that all people in retail learned to perfect. "Looking for an elf?"

"I need five." Including Mandy I figured that would be two per floor. If I needed I could get one or two. If six was too many then, well, I wasn't bringing them back here because that would be cruel.

"Five elves?" His brown eyebrow rose doubtfully.

"I just moved into the Fox Estate. One elf isn't enough so I need more."

"You're a little young don't you think?" I shook my head. "What about your parents?"

"We left father after he tried to beat mother to death a few years ago, and Voldemort murdered my mother." My blunt statements made his eyes widen comically. It made me want to smile, but that would definitely be inappropriate.

Not in the mood for any more small talk I raised my eyebrows expectantly. "I need at least one of the elves to be good with gardening."

The man quickly led me around his store to show off the "merchandise". He obviously didn't have a go opinion of elves, but that was a foolish move on his part. Elves were the most useful creatures.

After seeing every elf in the store we found an older elf who knew how to take care of plants. He was a little hunched over and had small droopy ears, but his calm blue eyes were bright. The elf said his name was Suller.

Another elf I decided on was a young little girl named Poppet. She just looked so full of life, and it was sad to see it locked up like that.

The last three elves I found were all boys. Klaus had dark blue eyes and looked bored with life. Dash had the customary floppy ears and a rather triangular head. Hammy looked completed nervous to be out of his cage and to have a new Mistress.

The man handed me a potion with a drop of blood from each elf stating I needed to drink it or else the elves wouldn't be tied to me. I did so with a grimace.

I left the shop with five elves shuffling after me. It felt weird to have five faces looking at me expectantly while people passed me on the sidewalk.

"Okay," I huffed out, "I'm Alex. You can call me Mistress, Mistress Alex, or just Alex. I really don't care. I already have a houself and her name is Mandy. I've made her Head Elf so I guess you listen to her."

"Why are you so young? Mistress." Klaus was staring at me dispassionately and tacked on the title at the end as an afterthought. Suller looked at him in disapproval while the others looked horrified at his disrespect. They also seemed to be waiting for what course of action I would take next.

"Because I haven't grown up yet, Klaus. I'm your Mistress now because I'm the oldest member of my family. Not to mention the last."

That seemed to upset the other elves. Their Mistress was so young and already lived on her own. Klaus didn't seem to care, but for a brief moment I saw something resembling regret.

"Mandy is currently buying food for the Estate. What I will need you five to do is help us clean it up. Suller," he straightened as much as his back would allow, "you're in charge of the conservatory. You can teach the other on when you find the time, but for now you're the only one who knows how to maintain it."

He nodded seriously. "I shall comply to Mistress' commands."

"Right." I felt so awkward with these new elves and I had no idea why. I wished Mandy was there.

"Alex is that you?"

Spinning around I felt a little relieved to have an excuse to stop talking. "Lily?"

Her green eyes lit up. "It is you!" She rushed up to me and gave me a hug. "How've you been?" She noticed the now curious elves. "And who are they?"

I looked at the elves with her. Pointing at Suller I went down the list. "This is Suller, Dash, Poppet, Klaus, and Hammy." Lily gave them an awkward wave, and all but Klaus bowed. He just scrutinized her with suspicious eyes.

"So," she cleared her throat awkwardly, "how've you been?"

I sighed heavily. "Not too great Lils."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

"Did you hear about the attack here a few days ago?" She said no. "Well Death Eaters attacked the Alley while mother and I were here."

Lily gasped. "Oh no. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but mother…she didn't make it."

Tears gathered in her eyes and she covered her mouth in shock. "She's…dead?"

I winced at hearing somebody else say it. "Yeah," I whispered.

She choked on her tears and she pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, Alex." I returned her hug fiercely. Now that I think about it it's the first hug I've had since mother died and it felt fantastic.

I took a shaky breath. "Thank you, but I'm fine." We let go of each other but clasped hands.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Her green eyes flicked between my blue. "Do you have anywhere to go? You can always live with us."

I smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry Lils. My mother is part of the Fox line, and they have an Estate I'm going to live in. You are welcome to visit any time, but it might have to wait until next summer since break is over in a few days."

Lily looked at me suspiciously. "Are you alone? You aren't of age yet, isn't that illegal?"

"I got emancipated."

She hummed in understanding. "Well I'm definitely going to visit you next summer." Her eyes darted to the elves. "It must be a big place to need so many elves." The disapproving tone she had told me she didn't like the idea of houselves.

"It is." I confirmed lightly. "Barney is going to love it. And I'm sure they'll do a wonderful job maintaining it."

Lily have me one last look. "Do you want to shop with us today? Severus is here. Petunia didn't want to come." She grimaced. "Said she didn't want anything to do with my freakish life."

I knew from several stories that Lily really did love her sister, but Petunia held no love for her and was openly voiced her dislike. Lily hoped Petunia would one day feel differently. I knew from memories of Harry Potter that she never lets up on her hate.

"Mistress shouldn't mingle with filthy blood."

Our eyes widened and we looked at Klaus with wide eyes. Mine were filled with horror and mortification while Lily was shocked and didn't know how to respond.

"Klaus," I breathed, "why would you say that?"

His head tilted confusedly. "Is her blood not filthy, Mistress?"

"Of course it isn't!" I denied. "Nobody has filthy blood."

He sneered. "Is Mistress a mudblood lover?"

I choked on air and the other elves began glaring at Klaus. Figures I would end up buying an elf that must have belonged to a pureblood at some point. "That," I said coolly, "was uncalled for. I don't want you to use that word ever again because it is a horrible thing to say. I assume your last Mistress was a pureblood?" He nodded while glaring sulkily at the ground. "Well she's not your Mistress any more, I am. You best forget whatever pureblood nonsense they put in you because that's not the way I roll."

"Poppet is sorry for Klaus!" She ran up to Lily and I thought she was going to hug her legs, but thankfully contained herself.

Lily looked very uncomfortable with the attention and I quickly reached into my pocket to grab the folded parchment with the Estate address on it. "Here," I kneeled down and held it up for them to see. "Go to this address. Suller you take care of the conservatory, the rest of you begin dusting." They studied the address before popping away.

Standing up straight I gave Lily an apologetic look. "I am so sorry about that. I had no idea he would be like that."

She sighed. "It's okay. Just don't get rid of him for it. He doesn't know any better."

I smiled because leave it to Lily to think about an elf's well being even after he insulted her. "Wasn't planning on it. So where's Severus and your parents?"

* * *

 **AN: I'm sorry for the confusion my updated chapters caused. And I did my best describing the inside of the estate so sorry if it sucked.**


	41. Chapter 41

Mr. and Mrs. Evans were delighted to see me and drew me into hugs. Severus was his usual indifferent self and just nodded. Naturally I ignored it and hugged him myself, even if he just stood there stiffly.

Lily's parents asked what I was doing in Diagon Alley. When I told them I needed houselves to man the Fox Estate they looked confused. It went away when I explained what houselves were. Like Lily they seemed uncomfortable with the idea of a creature resembling slaves, but they didn't say anything. Instead they changed the subject to my mothers whereabouts.

Lily immediately glared at them so they wouldn't say anything else. I was grateful for her trying to protect me, but I needed to talk about it if I wanted to move on. When I told them she died even Severus looked at me with shock and pity before he hid it behind a cool mask. Not wanting to go into detail I only told them about us being in the Alley when it got attacked and mother getting hit with the killing curse.

Mrs. Evans looked tearful and pulled me into a tight hug just like Lily did. Her father set a heavy hand on my shoulder and Severus gave quiet condolences. The rest of the shopping trip everyone made sure to steer clear of mentioning my mother, although the elder Evans' dropped hints for me to visit often.

After Lily and Severus finished their shopping for school supplies I said my goodbyes and called for Dash. I would've asked Mandy to take me home, but I didn't know if she was finished with shopping or not.

We appeared in the foyer and I gasped sharply. Dash immediately grew nervous but I held up a hand to forestall any worried tears. Even with the dirt and dust the foyer had been beautiful. Now it was utterly spotless. Sure it was the evening so the sunlight streaming through the windows wasn't as bright, but I could still see my reflection in the floors. "Who cleaned in here?"

Dash twisted his hands in his dirty pillowcase nervously. I made a mental note to get all of the elves a uniform of some sort. "It be Klaus and I. Suller be doing as Mistress says and is fixing the conservatory. Poppet be cleaning the dining room while Hammy cleans owlery. Mandy be back from shopping and gots dinner going."

I smiled at him brightly. "You two did an amazing job." Klaus may have some manners that needed to go, but I couldn't fault his efficiency. "What are you two doing now?"

His eyes misted over at the complement then answered my question. "Klaus be cleaning master bedroom and I be's cleaning the master study."

I nodded. Those would be the main places where I'd stay in this place. "Good. Tell the others to save the library for last so you can all work on it together." It was so huge I didn't want just one elf to have that on their shoulders. Dash bowed before popping away.

Even with the extra elves it took another day and a half before the Estate was completely clean. I took another day just to walk around the halls and inspect the landscape paintings and chat with the few portraits. I praised each elf for doing such a wonderful job. Dash and Hammy cried, Klaus seemed surprised someone would ever compliment him on something, Suller took it in stride (possibly because of a nice owner sometime in the past), and Poppet hugged me.

Barney also loved the house. Especially outside. It was nine acres with a large forest on the back half that thinned out the further around the property it reached. Barney had a lot more room for running, so I made it a point to go outside and chase him around.

Talking to Klaus had been…interesting. His whole life was spent serving a pureblood family. He had _not_ been happy when he found out I was a halfblood with mundane-born and "blood traitor" friends. I told him he needed to learn to like them because there would be times when I'll invite them over. He sneered, but he can't go against his Mistress so he had to agree.

The morning of September 1st rolled around and I took packed my trunk. When the master and study were cleaned I unpacked the clothes and books. All the books I already read went on the bookcases in the empty study while my clothes went into the closet. Now I had to re-pack all of my underwear, bras, socks, shoes, my five school robes, plus two cloaks for the winter, then three casual robes. Along with some tank tops, shorts, and sweatpants.

I felt bad about leaving Barney behind. Sure there were six elves to keep him company, but they aren't the best playmates. They have jobs to do.

Entertaining the idea of getting another dog I called for Mandy. "Yes Mistress?" I kept one hand on my trunk and stretched the other one for her to take. "You all know your jobs, but make sure Barney gets time outside."

Mandy bowed before grabbing onto my hand. We disappeared with a loud pop and traveled to the bustling platform full of parents sending off their kids. "I'll should be home for Christmas so I'll see you then." Mandy nodded and popped herself back to the Estate.

Weaving through the crowd I did my best to prevent my trunk from hitting people in the legs. Thankfully it never happened, and I boarded the train with little trouble. On the train it was much harder getting by. Sometimes I had to squeeze and shove my way through.

Eventually I came across an empty compartment in the middle of the train. I shut the door behind me, threw my trunk onto the overhead rack, and collapsed onto the bench with the my back against the wall next to the window and my legs stretched out in front of me.

The peace momentarily shattered when the train jerked forward. I almost fell off the bench, but I quickly gripped the edge and righted myself.

Shifting down a little I leaned my head back against the wall, bent my left leg so I could wrap my arms around my knee, then closed my eyes. Feeling the vibrations of the train going over the tracks soothed me into a half-conscious state.

It was a few minutes before my compartment door burst open, succeeding to scare me half to death. My left foot had thumped to the floor and my back straightened so I wasn't leaning against the compartment wall. All I got a glimpse of were worried grey eyes before their owner yanked me into his arms and picked me up in a hug.

"I've been looking for you everywhere." Sirius' voice was muffled against my clothed stomach.

I would have patted his back, but he had my arms trapped so I couldn't even do that. "I've been in here the whole time."

James sauntered into the compartment and sat next to the window in the seat across from mine. "Don't drop her, Sirius."

He carefully set me onto my feet, and proceeded to glare at his friend. "Shut up James."

Remus walked in and claimed the seat next to James. "It's been a while since they've seen each other. Let them hug."

I sat opposite from James by the window and Sirius sat next to me. Peter took the open seat beside Sirius. "You're just jealous cause you can't hug Evans like that without her yelling and hitting you."

James glared at Peter. "She loves me, okay? She's just in denial and doesn't realize it yet."

I snorted. "Like how you don't realize she actually does hate you?"

His hazel eyes narrowed but Sirius broke in with a change of subject. One I'm not sure if I liked. "Alex are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Siri." I looked at him and he searched for any lies. He found them, obviously, but I knew I was getting better.

"Alex." His tone held a warning.

I laid my hand on top of his knee. "I'm okay, really. We'll talk later."

Our staring contest was interrupted by James. "Why wouldn't you be okay, Switch?"

Sirius made a hand signal across his throat, obviously conveying to James that this topic should not be brought up. I, however, knew they would all find out eventually. "Don't worry Sirius." I grabbed his gesturing hand to bring it back into his lap. "Did you all hear about the attack in Diagon a few weeks ago?" They nodded. "My mother and I were there that day."

A gasp from Peter interrupted me. "Did you fight any of the D–Death Eaters?" He looked extremely pale. My vague memory let me know he does become a DE at some point, and this made me wonder how it ever happens.

"No, I didn't." Taking a deep breath I looked out the window at the moving landscape. Sirius squeezed my hand in silent support. This would be the most honest explanation of this story yet because these guys knew of my morphing, and even with Peter I trusted them the most. "Mother and I got separated in the panic. I made myself into an older man to try and find her because I knew she would be freaking out even more than I was. So I went in the direction of where I last saw her. I looked for who knows how long before wizards in red robes arrived. Aurors I think. One of the Death Eaters they took out fell in front of me and I tripped over him.

"It was a stupid idea on my part. But the crowd was so hard to get through, and people fought to get out of their way. I figured I would use the mask and robes to walk around. I was right though. Moving around became a lot easier after that.

"Some Death Eater grabbed me, and I thought I'd been found out, but he assumed I was their guy because I had the outfit. So he apparated me out of the Alley into some foyer with other Death Eaters."

"Wait." When I looked away from the window I saw them all leaning forward in their seats. Remus was the one who spoke. "Did he take you to Voldemort's hideout?"

I nodded and they all paled. Sirius' hold on my hand tightened, and I winced from the pain but didn't move it away. "I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings because the one time I looked I saw my mother in the middle of the little group."

"Your mother?" My nod to James was brief. The closer I got to the part of mothers death the harder it was for me to continue. Tears burned behind my eyes, but I fought them back.

"Obviously I wasn't going to leave her behind so I just went with the flow. Followed the group up to what I think was Voldemort's study." The name made them pale even more. Peter was shaking now. "They got in a line and kneeled so I did the same. The two lead Death Eaters forced my mother to her knees in front of Voldemort's desk." The tears made my eyes glassy and I blinked rapidly in an effort to make them go away.

"Some supporters he has in the castle have mentioned me. My skill with magic apparently caught his interest because mother and I had been his goal that day. Unfortunately they only caught mother.

"They talked about me. About making me join him and mother preventing it. Voldemort recognized her to be a problem. He thought she would be a thorn in his side and the reason for me not to join so he…" I choked on my next words. Clenching my teeth together I squeezed my eyes shut to try and muster up the strength to continue.

I felt Sirius shift and his arm wrapped around my shoulders to pull me against him. His forehead softly fell against the top of my head. "It's okay Alex. I've got you."

A loud sob left my throat. "He killed her!" Inhaling a stuttering breath I buried myself into Sirius' side and I felt him run his hands through my hair in a comforting manner. He whispered inconsequential things in my ear, and I let the tone of his voice wash over me. It slowly helped calm me down until my sobs completely stopped.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned my head just enough so I could see who it was but keep my face pressed to Sirius at the same time.

The usual mischievous and confident glint in James' eyes were gone. Replaced by sorrow and grief. "I'm so sorry, Alex. Nobody deserves to go through what you have." Remus and Peter murmured soft words of condolences from their seats. I would have given the three of them a hug, but I didn't want to let go of Sirius. From the feel of it he didn't want to let go of me either.

"Alex?" I looked at Remus in silent question and he cleared his throat awkwardly. "I don't mean to continue any bad memories, but what did you do after…well after. You aren't of age so you couldn't stay home alone."

Sirius tensed, probably planning on telling him off, but I gave him a slight squeeze to let him know it's okay. The hard part of the conversation was over now. "I went to Gringotts to file for emancipation. Thankfully it was accepted and now I live in Fox Estate."

I saw James' eyes widen. "You're a Fox?"

"And a Winslow."

I heard Sirius whistle. "The Fox family has been around a long time. Maybe not as a pureblood line, but prominent enough to be known when they disappeared some years ago."

I hummed. "They didn't disappear. They moved to America where they met the Winslow's some American pureblood family I think."

With a sigh I slowly pushed myself away from Sirius to sit back against the compartment. I stayed sideways in the seat so my left foot stayed on the floor, my right leg was bent on the seat in front of me, and my body faced Sirius.

"The Estate is beautiful, but huge. I got houselves to maintain it for me because there's no way Mandy and I could do it on our own."

"Who's Mandy?" Peter piped up.

"My first houself. She's been in the family for…" I chewed the inside of my cheek thoughtfully. "Let's see. I was eight when mother bought her so…around six years. Oh god," I rubbed my face with my hands, "Barney is six. He's getting old and he's gonna die soon too. Why must everyone around me die?"

Sirius patted me knee. "It'll be okay. Then you can get a new dog."

"Oh, that's a wonderful idea!" I exclaimed with fake enthusiasm. "How about you just transform into Padfoot and I'll get you a collar."

The other laughed while Sirius pouted. "Well I can't transform so that wouldn't work."

I hummed. "I was thinking about getting another dog anyway. Barney is all alone now with nobody but houselves for company."

The conversation was interrupted when the compartment door slid open. A familiar red head slipped in so she could shut the door behind her. James immediately went starry-eyed and I did my best to withhold my snort.

Lily studiously ignored the messy haired boy and looked at me with worried eyes. She noticed the evidence of tears and grimaced. "I guess this isn't a good time, but I thought you should know now before we get to the castle."

I waved away her concerns. "Don't worry about it. The heavy conversation happened a few minutes ago."

She spun around to close the shades and I saw James smile roguishly. "Lily-flower if you wanted to be alone all you had to do was ask."

Her shoulders tensed, and when she turned around I saw her barely controlled anger brewing in those emerald orbs. "Shut. Up. Potter." Points to her for not slapping him across the face.

Lily focused back on me and some of the anger abated. "I was in my compartment with Severus–" the boys made various noises of disgust (bar Remus) and we ignored them, "–when Lucius Malfoy came in."

"Malfoy?" Sirius spat. "What did he want?"

His tone made her teeth clench in anger but she did her best to brush it off. "He was looking for Alex."

I opened my mouth. Closed it. Blinked rapidly, then opened it again. "Why?"

She shrugged. "All he said was that he's looking for you."

Dread trickled into my stomach. I had a hunch for what this was about. Malfoy would become a Death Eater, I remembered that relatively clearly. With Voldemort interested me there's a chance he told whatever followers he had in the castle to try and get to me.

"I bet it's for Voldemort." James voiced my thoughts. "Everyone knows Malfoy is a Death Eater."

"You don't know that, Potter." Lily snapped. "Not all Slytherins are Death Eaters. Maybe he needs her help with something."

"Actually Lily," I got her attention, "Voldemort mentioned Malfoy during the meeting. They've been in touch in some way, so I'm pretty sure that leaves him or his father a Death Eater."

Her eyes widened. "Voldemort? Meeting?"

I winced, remembering I hadn't told her the full story because I didn't want her parents or Severus to know. "It has to do with my mother. I'll explain everything tomorrow night." It would be a Monday tomorrow so it had to wait until after classes.

Obviously reluctant to wait so long Lily nodded her head. The reluctance vanished and her eyes lit up at something she thought of. "You didn't get rid of Klaus did you?" Her eyes narrowed.

"I did not."

She crossed her arms. "Prove it."

Giving her a look that questioned her sanity I asked, "Why? What's got you so hell bent on me keeping him?"

Lily replied smartly. "Because he deserves a second chance. Besides I actually kind of liked him."

I snorted while James grew extremely jealous. That made me want to laugh more because he obviously didn't realize Klaus was a houself.

"Fine, but if he hurts anybody's feelings it's your fault." With a warning look in her direction I called for Klaus.

The elf immediately popped in front of me and bowed. When he straightened he caught sight of Lily and sneered. "Does Mistress need Klaus to remove filth?"

I groaned while James and Sirius stared at the elf murderously. Remus looked horrified at hearing him call Lily filth and Peter didn't seem to know what to think. "Klaus what did I say about getting your pureblood upbringing?"

He grumbled. "To forget it."

"Yes. Lily is a close friend of mine, so please apologize." Klaus barely turned his head while he mumbled something resembling "sorry". "Klaus," I said sternly, "look her in the eye and apologize."

He glared at me, but I rose an eyebrow telling him to hurry it up. He huffed angrily and looked over at Lily. "Klaus is sorry."

I breathed a soft sigh. "Thank you Klaus. I'm sorry for forcing you like that, but calling people filth or mudblood is not okay. Please remember that."

My apology surprised him. "Mistress no need to say sorry to Klaus. Klaus should remember Mistress' orders." He sounded very humble and I took that as a sign this relationship was headed in the right direction.

Since he was there I asked. "How's the Estate?"

He straightened and carefully ignored looking at anyone but me. "Suller be making sure conservatory stays clean. Mandy takes care of Mistress' bed chambers and study. Poppet, Dash, and I be's making sure Fox Estate remains spotless for Mistress."

I hummed. "Good, but Mandy and Suller shouldn't focus on only those rooms. They should be helping all over the house. Those rooms are just their responsibility." Klaus nodded. "How's Barney?"

"Mistress' dog be fed and watered twice a day. We elves be taking turns for outside time."

Klaus was clearly didn't like his time with Barney, but I could ignore it. I wouldn't force him to like Barney. "Thank you, Klaus. You can return to the Estate." With a careful now to me he popped away.

His disappearance was met with silence. Lily broke it cheerfully. "He actually seems to be doing better."

"Better?" Sirius looked at her in horror before turning to me. "Why did you buy him? He obviously belonged to some stuck up purebloods."

I glared at him. "Klaus is a wonderful elf. Sure he believes in pureblood ideals, but that's only for now. He deserves a chance to prove himself and I'm giving it to him. Besides," I said airily, "he didn't call Lily a mudblood this time which," I pointed at her, "is an improvement from last time." Though filth remained.

Lily apparently agreed with me, but the boys grew enraged hearing that an elf had said mudblood. Even worse when I revealed he said it to Lily.

"I'll kill the elf," James snarled.

"You will do no such thing!" Lily and I snapped. She continued. "Klaus will learn from Alex and her other elves to let go of his pureblood ideas. He obviously holds some respect for Alex, and she's not a pureblood." She looked at me sheepishly. "I didn't mean to sound rude or anything…"

I brushed off her concerns. "I completely agree. Klaus is nothing like Kreature." Sirius complained to me about how atrocious that elf was and I wondered if there wasn't a reason for the animosity between them. "I'm changing the subject because none of you need to worry about his right now."

Lily opened the compartment door. "I've got to get back to Sev. I'll see you later Alex, Remus." She shut the door without a word to the others.

James crossed his arms and stared sulkily out the window. Remus shook his head at the entire situation and lost himself between the pages of a book. Peter ate some sort of candy and I looked up at Sirius. "Where's Hooter?"

He reached for one of the hands in my lap and I happily allowed him to tangle out fingers together. "I sent him off to Hogwarts before we came to the platform."

Nodding in acknowledgment I changed my position so I could sit crisscross with my back against the seat. I leaned over to rest my head on Sirius' shoulder while the vibrations of the train soothed me into a slight doze.


	42. Chapter 42

Fourth year managed to rank my most paranoid year yet. I constantly worried about Voldemort's followers in the castle trying to speak with me. To occupy myself I spent my time focusing on wandless magic and occlumency. The occlumency did more than just protect my thoughts, but it helped me put up a sort of mask to hide my paranoia. Wandless magic was always a sort of a secret weapon in my eyes, but now it wasn't a weapon so much as a fail safe.

One worry was put to rest when I met with Dumbledore in his office about my continued enrollment. I didn't fully trust the man so I didn't give the full story for why I was concerned. Of course I mentioned mothers death, but since the truth revealed my metamorphmagus ability I told him the same story I put on the form I filled out on mothers death. He gave his apologies and I thanked him. Her death left a scar on my heart like every other families member I've seen die, but it slowly healed over.

He informed me mother had already paid for my fourth year, but I would have to pay for the next three.

Voldemort was then my main concern. His reach across Britain grew every day, and I read about his attacks in the papers. It seemed so surreal to me when people continued classes looking so untouched by it all. I'd sit in the Great Hall during meal times and just look around to see everybody smiling and laughing with their friends while a Dark Lord slowly took over Britain.

That happy attitude stayed with The Marauders, only now my situation tainted it with protectiveness and their own paranoia. Especially Sirius. More often then not he has me sleeping in their dorm. Worried a Death Eater will corner me in Ravenclaw tower. It took a lot of persuasion to let me hang out with Christy, Beth and Eliza.

Every month without fail I joined Remus on the full moon. He protested every time since that added more danger to what I was already in, and each time I ignored him.

The five of us picked up our meetings in the Room of Requirement where Remus and I would study and complete homework while the other three would plan pranks or study their animagus form. If it was the former Remus would toss a few of his own ideas or scrap the bad ones.

I made Thursday nights the official girl nights with Christy, Beth and Eliza. We got together in their dorm and gave each other make-overs and painted our nails the muggle way. There were charms to do these things, but using those wouldn't be the same.

One Thursday, at dinner, Eliza surprised me when she asked what I had done to attract the Slytherins attention.

All I could utter was, "What?"

The three of them shared a look before Beth whispered, "Wait until we're in the dorm room." The other two nodded.

I was left staring down at my plate. Of course I had known about the occasional glances and stares they gave me, either in the hallways, class, or during meal times. That had only been because I looked for them. The fact other people noticed as well wasn't such a good sign. I sighed to myself, Aren't Slytherins supposed to be discreet?

Back in the safety of their dorm room the four of us got comfortable on Beth's bed. She cast a silencing spell before voicing the question all three of them wondered. "Why do the Slytherins keep looking at you?"

I sighed in resignation. At the beginning of the year I told them about mother getting killed by Voldemort but left out details. "I assume the people staring at me are followers of Voldemort. He has his eyes set on me becoming a future Death Eater."

"Well." Eliza paused her sentence before finishing with, "Shit."

Christy hummed thoughtfully. "That explains why The Marauders won't let you go anywhere by yourself."

"And why you've been so tense this year." Beth added.

Christy curled her straight black hair around her fingers. "Is there any chance Voldemort could lose interest?"

"No." Eliza cut down any hope Christy could harbor. "Alex is one of the best students here. Right up there with Evans. I doubt You-Know-Who would let her get away that easily."

"Then she's screwed." It's like I wasn't even there.

"Why would she be screwed?" Beth looked confused.

"Because I'm pretty sure you can't say no once He sets his sights on you." Eliza explained.

The three of them suddenly turned to me with pity filled eyes. It made me sigh. "Thanks for reassuring me guys."

Eliza gave my thigh a friendly pat since she was closest. "We'll help you avoid them. They can't recruit you if they never talk to you." She pointed out.

"Enough evil thoughts about Alex going to the dark side." Beth jumped from her spot and reached under her bed to grab a huge bag filled with nail polish of all colors.

"Oh!" Eliza rushed to her trunk and grabbed all of her make-up while Christy grabbed that green gunk you're supposed to put on your face. While that was on we did each other's nails–mine were purple with white french tips, Christy's were green, Beth chose black with red polka dots, and Eliza used pink with gold stripes. Once our nails dried we washed off the facial masks to do make-up.

"You know," I commented as I applied red lipstick to Christy's lips, "I don't understand why we put this stuff on just to wash it off before going to bed."

Beth answered from her seat in front of Eliza. "Just for fun."

Eliza told her to blink before adding, "It also gives us good ideas for to use later."

Christy, Beth and Eliza used their wands to do their hair and mine since electrical appliances like hair dryers don't work in magical environments. They made the waves in my hair more pronounced, Christy curled hers, Eliza's blonde locks were usually curly but she changed them into small ringlets, and Beth usually had wavy hair like mine so she straightened it.

Eliza rushed to her trunk and came back with a camera. "Say cheese guys!" She turned the camera towards us, and as we all smiled before making a funny face I couldn't help but think about the fact we just took a selfie.

The photo printed out of the camera immediately and we watched as our moving image started out smiling before changing into something stupid like sticking out our tongue or going crosseyed.

Silly nights like those were something I cherished. I protected the memories in my bookcase safe behind my occlumency. Same as the ones I get from being with Sirius and the other Marauders.

Outside of all the happy moments I was a complete mess. Sometimes a guy would walk up to me and I'd immediately glance at their left arm as if I'd see a Death Eater mark, but instead they might ask me an innocent question regarding class or ask for a snog. While flattered that guys noticed me enough to not-so-subtly ask, I always turned them down. Whatever libido I had building up last year vanished underneath all my anxiety.

At least now I had no boy troubles. Sirius and Edmund were doing a good job keeping them away too, which I was grateful for.

For the entire year I waited for someone to find an opportunity to approach me about Voldemort wanting me to help do his bidding, but an opportunity never showed itself. Sirius was more than happy to spend every waking hour with me. His silent support and protectiveness always made me feel a little warm inside. Christy, Beth and Eliza kept watch during meal times and informed me of anything they thought looked weird. Lily told me that she's had several people asking for me. Severus himself even said there was talk in the Slytherin common room, but he'd say no more on the topic.

Every night I wished I could send a letter home to mother to keep her informed. Hearing that I kept myself surrounded by my friends would have made her happy, and the antics between James and Lily amused her when I told her back before she was killed.

In October I asked Dumbledore to let me leave the castle so I could get Sirius a birthday gift. He allowed me to go with a teacher, and I found myself going into a muggle tattoo store with Professor Mcgonnagal. All the embarrassment I felt that day was worth it when I saw Sirius' face when he saw the gift card. I knew he enjoyed an opportunity to rile up his parents, and getting a muggle tattoo would definitely accomplish it.

He loved it so much I got him another one for Christmas. I don't know if he ever used them and I never asked.

Winter vacation made things very difficult. I didn't know whether to go to the Estate or stay behind. Either way it would be my first Christmas without mother. James invited me to Potter manor, but I didn't want to interrupt their family time.

Sirius was invited as well but he made it very clear I was not allowed to be alone in the castle. Since his parents didn't want him home he went to the Potters. The two of them and a letter from the elder Potters convinced me, and I found myself spending my winter vacation in their manor. Not the same size as Fox Estate, but definitely large.

Dorea immediately pulled me into a hug. She whispered condolences in my ear and I remembered how I sent her a letter about mothers death. For the first few days before Christmas Remus and Peter visited. The four boys caused just as much trouble at home then at school. I was subjected to a few hair coloring charms, but I morphed it back to normal. Their indignant expressions made me giggle (for the first time in fourteen years) and it made them smile like loons.

Remus and Peter went back home for Christmas so I gave them their gifts in person. A ton of candy for Peter and a book on werewolves for Remus. I stuck a letter on the cover to tell him he should make notes in it to fix everything that was wrong.

On Christmas James saw the tattoo gift card and got jealous. I would have offered to get one for his birthday but his parents gave a firm no on the tattoo idea. He quickly shut up when I gave him a mirror and Sirius the matching one. At first the silence was one of confusion, but I explained they were two-way mirrors.

I had to owl order them since leaving the castle meant taking teachers with me.

Returning to Hogwarts after break was also a return to my stress. Sirius resumed his protective role, as did James but to a lesser degree. Christy and Eliza told me they hadn't seen any funny business during break.

January passed in the blink of an eye. I gave Lily a book on healing and a charm bracelet for her birthday. One charm was a bear while the other was one of a stag and a doe touching noses. She didn't understand why it amused me and I wouldn't tell her. James certainly loved it.

On Valentine's Day Edmund surprised me when he asked if I would be his valentine. He even gave me a bouquet of white roses–my favorite–and a heart shaped box of chocolates. I wanted to say no because I didn't want to encourage what could possibly be a crush, but I also didn't want to hurt his feelings so I said yes. We spent the entire day together doing random things and eating the chocolate.

Sirius had been less than pleased. Claiming Edmund wouldn't be much help if Malfoy or some other "Death Eater" attempted to confront me. I defended Edmund because he was still my friend, but Sirius wouldn't hear it.

For three days after that I ignored him. Choosing to hang out with Lily and Severus, or Christy, Beth and Eliza. I kept my guard up around Severus because I noticed him pulling away from Lily to spend more time with the Slytherins. Lily denied it, thinking I was just trying to separate them so James had a chance. Her accusation offended me.

"You honestly think I would do something so horrendous as to ruin a friendship just to give another boy a chance to date you?"

Lily immediately apologized, and the two of us returned to our study session inside the library. Remus joined us at some point, the only Marauder Lily could stand.

March came around and I had to get birthday presents for Remus and James. For Remus I got a stuffed wolf and a faux blanket the same color as his fur in werewolf form (same color as Moony).

For James I got a stuffed stag and a muggle prank where when you open the can those worms popped out at your face. His reaction was priceless. Especially since he opened it in the Great Hall and it got everyone laughing. He wanted to be angry, but when he saw Lily laughing too he forgave me quickly.

He still continued to ask her out several times a week. Sometimes more than once a day. Each time got a solid no. Sometimes accompanied by a few insults. They didn't stop him. Poor Lily. She would ask me to make him stop, and I've tried a few times, but he never listens.

Usually for spring break I would stay in the castle, but I had no desire to be in the castle when Voldemort's followers might be there as well. Sirius encouraged me to go to the Potters. Probably wanting a break from having to keep away anyone who wanted to have a private word with me.

I noticed none of Voldemort's followers seemed to have made a real effort to get me alone yet. I definitely didn't complain about it, but it raised suspicion. Either Voldemort had no real need for me at the moment, or he was planning something to get to me.

Spring was finally coming to an end as May passed by. James, Sirius and Peter felt confident that they knew their animagus form inside and out and have started trying to change. I told them they won't be able to change into the entire animal in one day. They had to start small and work their way up.

Christy, Beth and Eliza panicked as O.W.L.s grew closer and closer. Seventh years panicked over N.E.W.T.s while everyone else worried over their own finals. Everyone but Sirius and James. They just took it in stride, and when the time came they still managed to ace their exams.

The last day of school ended up being the hardest. I knew I would have to go back to an Estate with only a dog, an owl, and six elves for company. All of my friends knew I would be alone there too. Technically the whole school knew because somehow word about mothers death spread, but those who didn't know me figured I'd be with my father. My friends knew he wasn't around, and Sirius was the only one who knew the reason for it.

Our friendship grew so much stronger. Barely leaving one another's side. When we weren't glued by the hip it was either because we had separate classes, or I forced him to spend more time with the boys while I spent time with the girls (and Severus when he was with Lily). He grumbled about it every time but I ignored him.

Because of our newfound closeness I found it harder to leave him. We weren't even going to be in the same building anymore. If I wanted to see him I would have to use Mandy or another elf. Sending letters wouldn't be the same.

We stood on the platform hugging the life out of one another. I could have called Mandy to pick me up to skip the train ride, but that meant less time with Sirius. And the other Marauders of course.

Over the school year he'd grown a good couple inches without my noticing. My head fit perfectly underneath his chin. Something he took advantage of to rest his head atop mine.

"You'll write everyday?" His chest vibrated while I could feel his jaw moving against my head.

I hummed, absorbing the blissful moment to store in my mindscape. "Of course. I expect the same from you."

He huffed. "Of course."

We spent another few minutes just standing there. Both of us knew we'd have to let go at some point, but neither of us were willing to make the first move.

James took care of it for us. "Where's my hug?"

I laughed and slowly pushed myself away from Sirius' warmth. "Come here." James happily swaggered his way into my open arms. I didn't expect him top pick me up and spin around, causing me to squeal in shock. "Put me down James!" I exclaimed laughingly.

He did so without further prompting. James turned to Sirius and they did one of those bro hugs before James sneakily ruffled his hand through Sirius' hair. Sirius was very protective when it came to his hair, even worse that a girl. That being the case Sirius growled and chased after his messy haired friend.

Sighing sadly I pushed away the emptiness filling my chest and called for Mandy. Hooter sat on my shoulder while I kept my trunk in one hand. Mandy took the other, and after one last look around to find Sirius I told her to bring me back home.


	43. Chapter 43

Three months of summer vacation were exactly what I needed to calm my stressed nerves. I didn't feel the subtle gazes of Voldemort's followers watching my every move. I relished every moment.

I kept Hooter busy by sending letters to Lily, Remus, Beth and Eliza. Sirius and Christy used their own owls, or eagle in Sirius' case. The elves were busy every day making sure not a speck of dust remained in the Estate. Suller did an amazing job maintaining the conservatory, and began teaching Poppet about plants and taking care of them. Bless that old elf for his patience. Poppet was a little ball of boundless energy.

Lily's parents set up a vacation to France for the beginning half of the summer. She was worried bout leaving me alone, but I reminded her about Sirius and everybody else who were hell bent on keeping me company. We made plans for hanging out when she comes back at the end of June.

My friendship with Remus blossomed as well. I already knew his father was a wizard and mother a muggle. Spending three years hanging out with him in the RoR had us sharing a lot of stories about our home life. We were both an only child with a muggle parent. I told him that we left father when I was young but not why. He told me his mother was afraid of him because he was a werewolf. Even his father–to a certain extent.

Knowing this I asked for his address on one of my letters to him. He gave it, but not without questions. I didn't bother writing a response and called Mandy. I had her pop me to address he sent me, and in front of me stood a modest ranch home in the mundane suburbs.

Sending Mandy back home I politely knocked on the front door to the house then stepped back. A minute later a grown man with features similar to Remus' answered the door. "Can I help you?"

I smiled. "Is this the Lupin household?"

He pushed the door open a little more with a slight frown. "It is."

Holding out my hand to shake I explained my reason for coming. "I'm Alex Palmer, a friend of Remus'. I wanted to offer my help."

Mr. Lupin took my hand with a puzzled smile. "I'm Remus' father, Lyall. He's mentioned you several times."

Chuckling lightly I followed him into the house. The walls were a nice light brown color with white crown molding and hardwood floors. Mundane pictures hung on the walls showing either Remus, his parents, or all three of them.

"Remus your girlfriend is here!"

My eyebrows rose to new heights. "He said I was his girlfriend?"

Mr. Lupin turned to wink at me. "No, but he talks about you so often I'm surprised you aren't."

I smiled amusedly. "I'm afraid I haven't found the time for a relationship."

He suddenly looked sad. "He told me about your mother. I'm very sorry for your loss."

My smile dropped and I sighed sadly. "Thank you. But I've healed since it happened." It always surprises me when I remember it's been almost a year since she died. Mentioning her doesn't hurt anymore, but being reminded still sucks.

"I'm happy to hear it."

Our conversation was interrupted by a confused Remus. "Dad, I don't have a…" his eyes found mine and he turned back to his father full of embarrassment. "Dad!"

Mr. Lupin laughed heartily. "Just messing with you son." He leaned in to not-so-conspicuously whisper. "She's quite the catch though." I laughed while Mr. Lupin fled from the hallway with Remus shouting after him.

He looked at me with pink tinged cheeks. "I'm sorry about him."

I waved off the apology with a wide smile. "Are you kidding? He's great." Walking down the short hallway I walked through a door leading to the kitchen and dining room. Mr. Lupin walked in from another doorway on the left with Mrs. Lupin in tow.

"Darling," Mr. Lupin gently pushed his wife forwards with a hand on her lower back, "this is Remus' friend from school."

She smiled hesitantly and held out a hand for me to take. "Hope Lupin. It's nice to meet one of Remus' friends." I saw Mrs. Lupin look at Remus. I expected some sort of parental look secretly saying he should have friends over more often, but it was different. Wary. "Are you a, um, well a…"

Mr. Lupin sighed. "Darling you can't ask questions like that."

Remus had tensed up the moment his mother started talking. I took it all in stride and smiled at Mrs. Lupin gently. "It's quite alright I'm not offended. But no, I'm not a werewolf." Mr. Lupin sent me an apologetic look while Mrs. Lupin relaxed. "That is, however, the reason I came here today."

I saw Remus look at me from the corner of my eye so I turned my head expectantly. "What's wrong? Are you in danger?" His eyes showed the terror from previous memories.

"Well I would think anybody near a werewolf was in danger."

I whipped my head back to look at Mrs. Lupin in shock. She was staring at her son with that wary look, now tinged with fear. Mr. Lupin walked up next to her to give her a stern look. "Hope."

His wife looked out the kitchen window to avoid looking anybody in the eye. Her comment helped me see at least some of what Remus had to deal with at home. Quickly reaching for his hand I gave it a comforting squeeze before letting go. "There are many wolves that are dangerous in both forms. I've learned that Remus is the nicest, most caring person I've ever met. I would expect a mother such as yourself to love every part of her child."

Taking a deep breath I forced my mother bear instincts away when I saw the ashamed look in Mrs. Lupine eyes. "I came here because I wanted to know what you guys did for Remus during the full moons."

They all looked surprised, but Remus started looking rather ashamed of himself. "They lock me in the basement in a steel cage with silencing charms so the neighbors won't hear me."

I pursed my lips. "I thought it would be something like that. Can't have Moony terrorizing the neighborhood." Mr. Lupin looked like he wanted to ask about the nickname but I hurriedly continued. "I wanted to offer a place for you to transform."

They looked at me in surprise. Mr. Lupin especially. "You have a safe place to put a dangerous creature?" He winced and looked at his son. "I'm sorry."

Remus nodded in acknowledgment to the apology but kept looking at me. "I know you live alone now Alex, but I'm still a danger to other people."

I waved him off. "I live on nine acres with a forest behind me and not a neighbor for miles. Moony will have plenty of room to run around, and there's no chance of him hurting anybody."

Mrs. Lupin gasped at the size of my property. "Nine acres? How do you maintain that much land all by yourself?"

"Do you know what a houself is?" She shook her head in the negative. "They're magical creatures that families own, and they do all the cooking and cleaning."

Her eyebrows rose. "That sounds a little bit like a slave."

It seems Lily and her parents aren't the only ones who question the use of a houself. "Not quite as harsh as that. I'll admit, some are mistreated, but most love working for their Master or Mistress."

Mr. Lupin broke in. "You were saying something about having my son stay with you on the full moon?"

"Right." I cleared my throat. "I'm offering for him to come over to my place on the day of, before, and after the full moon. So three days a month, and only during summer of course."

"I think that sounds wonderful." Mrs. Lupin voiced her approval right away. Not even thinking to consult with her husband or son on the matter.

Her husband gave her a stern look but agreed. He at least asked Remus if he was okay with the idea and if I would be safe. At that I sent him a secret smile. "I'll be more than safe."

Remus made the final decision. "Yeah. It will be nice spending the moon with somebody." We shared another one of those secret smiles.

Giving Remus a hug goodbye and his parents a handshake, his mother asked me, "How will he get to your house?"

"I can just send Dash."

"Who?"

"One of my elves." Saying that made me feel like Santa Claus.

Remus walked me to the front door and I abruptly turned to him. "Oh! Is there a pet store nearby?"

He gave me a funny look. "What for?"

"A pet." I answered slowly.

He snorted and shook his head. "Not that I know of."

"Alright. Thanks though."

Remus shook his head before stepping forward and pulling me into a tight hug. "Thank you, Alex. So much."

I smiled softly against his chest and returned the hug. "You deserve it, Remus. Besides, you're one of my best friends. Why wouldn't I help you?"

We separated. "A lot of people wouldn't help me."

"Well you've got three others who care about you no matter what. Don't assume people will turn out to be just like your mother when they find out what you are." Sighing sadly I called for Mandy.

Remus jumped at her sudden appearance but calmed down immediately when he realized what she was. "Mandy be ready to help Mistress!"

I grabbed her hand and looked at Remus one last time. "What's your favorite color?" He looked confused so I motioned for him to hurry up.

"Um…green I guess."

Making a note to myself I gave him a small wave then looked down at Mandy. "Take me to a pet store." She didn't question my request before we popped away.

Eeylops Owl Emporium was the same place I got Barney from, so that's the first place I looked. They sold owls, cats, snakes, toads, and dogs. Their dog selection wasn't very large, but I took the time to look each one in the eye to see if any caught my attention like Barney had. None of the older dogs seemed particularly interested, and the few puppies there were too busy roughhousing to notice me.

Making my way to The Leaky Cauldron I walked through the crowd to tap the brick wall leading to the back alley. Once there I changed my appearance into twenty year old Édouard.

I wasn't familiar with the mundane areas so I didn't know where any pet stores or pounds would be located. For help I flagged down a taxi I tapped on the passenger window. Once he rolled it down I leaned forward a little. "Do you know where I could buy a dog around here?"

He jerked his thumb in the direction behind him, off to my left. "About three streets over take a left. Another three blocks cross right. It'll will be on your right." I thanked him before pushing away from the taxi and taking off in the direction he pointed in.

By the time I found the small shop it started to drizzle. I ducked inside and pushed off the hood of my sweatshirt. The bay window had been transformed into four different sections for birds. No owls of course, but there were two parrots and about a dozen parakeets.

The back of the store held the dogs so that's where I headed. Like Eeylops they had older and younger dogs, except here there was one dog that captured my attention.

"Tasha seems to like you." The girl who ran the store stood next to me. "She's been here since she was a puppy."

I briefly looked at the girls name tag then back to the German Shepherd looking up at me with soft brown eyes, a doggy grin, and her tail wagging happily. "How old is she now?"

Sara hummed thoughtfully. "About seven months."

"How much is she?"

"Four hundred."

I nodded decisively after a minutes contemplation. "I'll take her."

Sara hooked a thick rope around Tasha's neck then led her out of the cage. She handed me the rope and I followed Sara up to the front desk. I took out the mundane money I'd slipped into my back pocket and counted out the required amount. There was some paperwork for me to fill out and forms about Tasha's medical past. Once all that was finished Tasha was officially mine.

Sara let me use the rope since I didn't have the money to buy a leash or collar. Not in mundane money anyway. I had to go back to Eeylops where I could use galleons.

Tasha's first time in Diagon made me laugh. It reminded me of when I first stepped into the magical world and I tried to look at everything at once. Her head bounced from shop to shop, and her tail continued to wag a mile a minute.

Inside Eeylops I went to the section of wall dedicated to dog items. I got her a food and water dish, some toys, a bone, then two big dog beds. One for her and one for Barney. By the collars I found a red one about an inch wide and a matching leash.

Loading everything onto the counter the man rang everything up. All but the beds were shoved into a bag. I put the beds under my arm with the bag in one hand and Tasha's rope in the other. "Mandy!"

She popped next to me and Tasha jumped. The moment her eyes landed on Mandy her tail tucked between her legs and she pushed herself closer to me. Her lip pulled back in a snarl and she began growling at the poor elf.

"Let's get home Mandy, then we'll get her used to everybody."

With a nervous look at the dog Mandy grabbed onto my jeans and popped us to the foyer of our Estate. Tasha yelped and tried running away, but my grip on the rope halted her. I set down the bag and beds then changed back to my normal self.

"Tasha." Tugging the rope I grabbed the fur at the base of her head. She started sniffing at me curiously and tilted her head in the animal equivalent of confusion. My different appearance must have thrown her off. Poor dog just got thrown into the magical world with no warning. "You're a good girl." I scratched behind her ears, and I saw her tail hesitantly wag.

Taking one hand I rummaged through the bag and pulled out the red collar. I put that around her neck then slipped off the rope. "Let's show you around, huh?"

I walked toward the kitchen and made sure she stayed beside me. Once there I put the food and water bowl near Barney's, but not too close. Then I showed her my room where I set Barney's bed under one window and hers beneath the other. I poured the toys onto her bed and sat her down so she knew it was hers.

Then started the long process of getting her used to the elves. Of course it didn't happen all in one day, and the loud pop they made when entering or leaving still made her jump. Klaus wasn't too happy about having another animal in the house, and Barney seemed a little wary of her. At least he wasn't growling or attacking her.

Sirius loved the idea of me owning dogs. I knew it had something to do with his animagus instead of being a dog lover, but I didn't mention anything to him. Remus was afraid he would scare the dogs off when he came over, but when he came over they quickly got over their initial fear and rubbed all over his legs.

Remus stayed in a bedroom on the second floor. I took his favorite color and made the walls a solid forest green with matching bedding and armchairs. His jaw dropped when he saw the room, but the night we went outside and he saw the whole Estate he choked on air.

I couldn't wait to see everybody else's reactions when they came over for a visit.

Lily eventually returned home for the summer and we made plans to go out for lunch, shop a little at the nearest outlet mall, say hello to Severus, then finish the day off with dinner at her house.

Early August was when I got my Hogwarts letter and I went shopping the next day. I smiled wistfully at the memories of mother and I going on these trips together. Instead I invited Sirius to meet me in Diagin Alley and we shopped together.

When I first saw him my eyes went wide. Two months and I could see how much he's grow up. He probably reached about six feet, his once lanky form now more lean and muscular from years of playing Quidditch. Unnoticed by me Sirius's eyes glanced over my own body.

The entire time in the Alley Sirius stayed fairly close to me. His hand would occasionally brush the back of mine, shooting sparks up my arm. It was something I hadn't felt since my first life. After the third time I looked up at Sirius with a raised brow. He widened his eyes innocently and I looked away quickly to hide my blush and smile.

I quickly shook myself out of it. Sirius and I were just friends, and I didn't want any romantic feelings to change that. So, holding my head high I sent him a cheeky wink before grabbing his hand and interlocking our fingers. I wasn't looking at him so I didn't see the broad grin break out across his face.

Thanks to my emancipation and removing the trace I could use my wand without worrying about Ministry owls or getting kicked out of Hogwarts. Sirius moaned about how unfair it was, but hugged me obnoxiously when I shrunk our many bags so they would fit in our pockets.

When we were finished I called for Mandy. She brought us to the foyer and I saw his eyebrows raise halfway up his forehead. "Nice place."

The sound of paws against the marble came from our right. We looked over to see Barney and Tasha running towards us and I immediately dropped to me knees so they could step onto me and pepper my face with licks.

Once they noticed Sirius and began sniffing his hands they forgot all about me. He had a huge smile as he copied my actions and the dogs jumped all over him. A soft smile of my own revealed itself when his bark of laughter echoed through the foyer.

"Hey Alex…Sirius?"

From the doorway where the dogs came out of stood a happy but confused Remus. He looked really pale and tired considering the full moon would be the next day I wasn't surprised.

"Remus?" Sirius looked between the two of us suspiciously. "What are you doing here?"

"I invited him over for the full moons." My statement caused Sirius to relax, but I didn't notice. Too busy glaring over at Remus. "You're supposed to be resting."

Remus shrugged. "Just wanted to see what got the dogs so riled up. Guess I should have known it was you."

Sirius pushed away the dogs and clasped hands with his werewolf friend. "Good to see you, Moony. Been a while."

He smiled weakly. "Sorry about that."

Sirius waved him off. "Doesn't matter."

The two of them spent a little more time catching up on what the other had been doing over the summer. Sirius didn't seem to happy about Remus being in the Estate alone with me, but I told him Moony loved it here. Much better than getting locked in a basement.

It was supposed to reassure him but it didn't work. He narrowed his eyes on Remus and they shared a silent conversation I didn't understand before Sirius completely relaxed. They clasped hands, and Sirius hugged me goodbye before I had Suller bring him back home.

The full moon was the last bit of excitement for the summer. After Remus went home I stayed in the Estate and relaxed. I spent the last few days sleeping in, reading books in the conservatory, and finished practicing wandless magic on the second year material.


	44. Chapter 44

Returning to Hogwarts meant more scrutiny from most of the Slytherin population. I didn't look to see who else decided to stare at me during meal times, and I didn't care. Ignoring the stares of Voldemorts followers was my goal. Last year I let them get to me and make me paranoid. After three months to rest and relax I felt prepared for the new school year.

During breakfast I ate with Lily. She no longer eats with Severus, so I've been introduced to her roommates Mary MacDonald and Marlene McKinnon. Another friend of hers named Alice Rowe, a seventh year Gryffindor, sometimes sat with us. She had a fiancé named Frank Longbottom. I knew their names. They were from Harry Potter. They had a son named…something starting with an N. Neville I think.

For lunch I sit with The Marauders between Sirius and James with Remus and Peter across from us. Occasionally Sirius would brush against me with his hand or shoulder. I figured he did it accidentally so I did my best to ignore the shivers his touch gave me.

I spent dinner with Christy, Beth, and Eliza. It made it easier for me to get to the common room on the nights I don't spend with The Marauders in Gryffindor tower.

The nights I did spend with the boys I made sure to keep my distance from Sirius. I used to sleep in his bed with him, but now we were older. That and if I continued to do it now these feelings I began having towards him would grow stronger. I feared if I started harboring a crush on Sirius it would only hurt me and our friendship in the end. Not to mention he dates anybody over thirteen in a skirt, so it would most likely lead to heartbreak.

Like last year Christy, Beth, Eliza and I reserved Thursday nights as girl nights. Doing each other's hair, make-up, nails, and random Hogwarts gossip.

Over weekends I met with The Marauders in the RoR. They made a lot of progress on their forms over summer break. Luckily without anybody finding out.

Sirius could grow black fur all over his body. He also managed to change his hands into paws with black claws. James was able to sprout a little tail, but claimed the process of lengthening his spine was painful. As long as he took of his shoes he could change his hands and feet into hooves comfortably. Peter had the beginnings of long white whiskers on his upper lip, and his hands would thin out into a magnified version of rat feet.

All in all Remus and I were very amused to see them when partially transformed. They looked hilarious, and I wondered if I looked as weird as they did when I was still mastering my animagus form.

The year turned out to be very similar to fourth year. This time I was no longer afraid of a Slytherin jumping out from the shadows to corner me about joining the Dark Lord. I didn't feel the need to have somebody by my side, but Sirius clearly remembered Voldemort's interest in me and did not want me going anywhere alone.

Even during his birthday party the other Marauders threw in the Gryffindor common room he was reluctant to part from my side. I rolled my eyes at him and forced him to have fun and forget all about me. If I wasn't worrying about it then he shouldn't be either.

I stuck with Lily throughout the party. Mary found a sixth year boy to snog with in one corner, Alice went to bed early, and Marlene looked to be following in Mary's footsteps by drunkenly trying to seduce Remus. He seemed more amused by her than anything else.

Lily huffed from her seat beside me. The two of us were sitting on the couch across from the fireplace. "Can you believe them?"

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Who?"

"Potter and Black! There's alcohol here. Don't they know how much trouble they could get in for that?"

I laughed at her. "Of course they know! Do you honestly think they _care_ about consequences? They've been breaking rules since first year, Lils."

"I know," she growled just loud enough for me to hear. "Why can't they be more responsible?"

"Just because they like to have fun doesn't mean they can't be responsible." She gave me a skeptical look and I held up my hand. "They have their moments. Maybe if you got to know them you would see them."

"The only problem with that is I don't want to get to know them!" Lily said hotly. "I'm sorry Alex, but they're arrogant bullies and nothing you say can change that."

I glared at her. "If anyone is the arrogant one it's you. Heaven forbid someone tries to tell you something that goes against what you believe. One day you will see that you're wrong about them, and I'm going to say I told you so."

Lily glared back at me. "I am not arrogant!"

"And if I told you Severus is on his way to becoming a Death Eater?"

"You're wrong!" She shot back. "I know Severus a lot more than you do. He would never do that."

"And I know The Marauders a lot more than you do, so don't assume to know what they're like. You know what they say about people who assume."

Her glare remained. "What?"

"They make an ass out of u and me."

She snorted softly before staring quietly into the fire. "I'm sorry about that. They always manage to bring the worst out of me."

"I noticed." I commented dryly. "I'm also sorry."

Lily waved off the apology and stared at the stairs leading to her dorm longingly. I noticed the look and rose an eyebrow. "You can go to bed if you want. It won't hurt my feelings."

She looked like she was about to protest but yawned instead. I laughed at the reaction and playfully pushed her up from the couch. We mumbled goodnight to each other before she disappeared from the common room.

Feeling rather tired myself I got up from the couch to hunt down Sirius. Unsurprisingly I found him playing tonsil hockey with some fourth year Gryffindor. While it didn't surprise me I still felt a sharp pain in my chest seeing him with other girls. "Sirius?"

He jerked away from the girl and looked at me in annoyance. When it registered who it was that interrupted him his eyes widened. "Alex?" The girl was pawing at his chest and he pushed her away irritably. I couldn't help the thrill of victory from curling down my spine. "That wasn't–I didn't–its not what it looked like!"

Sirius' defense over his actions was confusing. We all knew about his nightly exploits with girls. If anything he jokes about how much he dates while we tease him about it. "I'm pretty sure you were aiming for a shag." I said dryly.

"No! It was just a snog, honest!" He almost sounded desperate. It was a little worrying.

"Calm down, Siri." I said soothingly. "I just wanted to let you know I'm going to head off to my dorm."

His eyebrows furrowed. "In Ravenclaw tower?"

"I won't be able to fall asleep here with all the noise."

Sirius smoothed his expression into a smirk and a single raised eyebrow. "Then I'll just have to walk you back."

I snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. This is your party, you can't leave it. And the tower isn't that far away from here. It's not like a Slytherin will be hiding around the corner."

"You don't know that." He shot back. "And you're right, this is my party, so nobody will care if I leave for a while."

"Sirius." I groaned exasperatedly.

"Alex." He said in the same tone to mock me. "It would make me feel better."

When he put it like that I couldn't tell him no. We left the party without telling anybody but James and Remus. Like I had expected nobody could be found in the corridors ready to attack me. Sirius justified himself by telling me I could never be too careful.

November passed quickly, and when break loomed closer I realized the full moon was going to be on the second day of break. While sitting in The Maraduers dorm room I plopped myself onto Remus' bed instead of sitting with Sirius like I usually did.

The auburn haired boy was showing signs of the impending full moon. He was sickly pale and his hazel eyes were turning into a golden color. Remus gave me an inquiring look, not energized enough to verbally ask what I was doing.

"You should come home with me."

He gave me an odd look and I heard shifting from one of the beds behind me. "What?" Hearing the voice told me it was Sirius.

Turning my body so I could face the whole room I gave them all exasperated looks. "I meant for the full moon, and he can go to his family afterwards. What did you think I meant?"

Peter butted in. "Could we come?"

"You could come to the Estate." I allowed. "I definitely have the room for all of you. You just can't join us outside." Their progress with their animagus forms were admirable. Since coming to Hogwarts Sirius mastered the hind legs and tail, Peter and James could both sprout fur all over their bodies, and James could make antlers.

James hummed. "If it's alright with you I wouldn't mind seeing what your place is like. I'd have to send a letter to my mum though."

I nodded. "That's fine. I'll have Mandy set up a room for you."

"My family would probably rejoice." Sirius said dismissively. "I think you should let me stay over all break."

I smiled amusedly. "If you want to I'm fine with it."

His eyebrows shot up. Apparently not expecting me to be okay with the idea. "You would let me stay with you for two weeks?"

"Yeah." I shrugged. "I'm all alone in this place. It gets pretty lonely without anybody but elves and dogs to hang out with." I gave him a cheeky look. "No offense."

James and Peter laughed while Remus chuckled and Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm way better than your dogs."

We all laughed at his attempt to defend himself. He threw a pillow at me, and in retaliation I threw it back. He began whacking me with his pillows while I tried hiding behind Remus.

"Don't worry, I'll save you!" James heroically swung his own pillow into Sirius' face.

He stared at his best friend, stunned. "Traitor!" Sirius yelled dramatically. "You're supposed to be in my side!" On the last word he hit James with his pillow.

Everybody was against each other, and I had to steal a pillow from Remus' bed to defend myself. I wouldn't have been surprised if our laughter could be heard down in the common room. This was a memory I did not want to forget any time soon.

James eventually did write a letter to his mother. Remus and Peter both had to ask for permission from their parents, so they wrote letters of their own. Sirius decided against writing a letter, so the two of us were left alone while the other three snuck up to the owlery under James' cloak.

While waiting for them to return I laid on Sirius' bed with him on one side and me on the other. There wasn't much space in between us, and I felt the knuckles of my left hand lightly touch his.

"Alex?" Keeping my eyes closed I hummed to let him know I was paying attention. "What are you going to do after Hogwarts?"

I pursed my lips thoughtfully. "I never really thought about it." I replied honestly. "I could be…maybe a healer for St. Mungos? I could find a job in the Ministry. What about you?"

"I'm definitely going to be an Auror."

"Yeah?" I opened my eyes and turned my head to the side so I could look at him. The close proximity had my heart stuttering, but I forced it to calm down. Feelings like this would just go away. I knew he was a good looking boy, and my body was just reacting to him because of that. "Why?"

He stared at me in thoughtful silence. His grey eyes danced across my features as he mentally relished how close we were to one another. "I got the idea last year," he admitted. "I want to be able to protect you. It sort of mounted up to me wanting to protect others as well."

My expression softened as his reasons for becoming an Auror melted my heart. I shifted my body so I could throw an arm around him in a sort of half-hug. "Thank you, Sirius." I felt something different inside me when I heard his response. I didn't realize what it was until it was too late.

The different feelings came from all of my feelings of friendship towards him slowly tainted into something stronger. A fondness for him and yearning to be near him at all times to see him laugh and smile with the playful sparkle in his grey eyes. Love wasn't something I've dealt with since my life as Katie Manchester. So long ago I didn't recognize what happened and I ignored it, thinking it was nothing.

The door opened then closed a moment later. I rolled off of Sirius so the both of us could sit up while James ripped off his invisibility cloak. He, along with Remus and Peter, had a grim look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Sirius looked at his best mate I got confusion.

The three of them shared a look before Remus stepped forward. "On our way back from the owlery we heard somebody talking." He shifted uneasily, clearly not wanting to continue but needed to. "Regulus and another seventh year Slytherin, Winchester we think. They were talking about…" Remus trailed off with a look in my direction. It wasn't hard to piece together what, or _who_ , they had talked about.

Sirius placed a hand firm hand on my knee. "What did they say?" Hid question was demanding.

Peter sat heavily on top of his bed while Remus laid on his own. James stayed in front of Sirius' bed to answer his question. "They didn't say anything absolute, but they were definitely hinting about Voldemort and trying to get Alex for something."

His hand moved off of my knee as he stood up to pace the length of his bed. "Why was Regulus there?"

James shrugged and walked towards his bed. "I don't know, mate."

Something felt off with me about Regulus being in cahoots with Voldemort. I filed the information away so I could meditate on it later. Usually meditation helped me unlock forgotten memories about the Harry Potter movies.

"Guys," I waited for them to all look at me before continuing, "don't worry about it."

Peter looked scared for me, Remus rose a doubtful eyebrow, James stared at me like I was crazy, and Sirius looked at me with horror.

"'Don't worry about it'?" Sirius whispered in disbelief. "Alex the Dark Lord is trying to recruit you, and you want us to–what?–ignore that?"

I nodded firmly. "Yes. I'm the one they're after, and if I can ignore it so can you."

"You're ignoring the fact the Voldemort wants to make you one of his followers?" James huffed in disbelief. "Why weren't you a Gryffindor? Had I been in your place I think I would be panicking."

Sirius snorted. "Probably start sobbing too. At that point I would hand deliver you to the guy."

James growled playfully. "Watch it, Padfoot."

Feeling a wrestling match on the near horizon I faked a yawn. "Am I staying here tonight?"

Sirius immediately confirmed it. As usual I attempted to set up a place on the floor, and in the end Sirius would mess it all up before dragging me down onto his bed. I hadn't brought any pajamas to wear, so Sirius let me borrow his quidditch shirt and some boxers.

I quickly fell asleep as Sirius snuck his arms around my waist without me noticing. While asleep I was completely obvious to the smiles on Remus and Peter's face as they looked at me and Sirius. James gave his friend a cheeky grin and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, making the black haired boy roll his eyes in put-upon annoyance.


	45. Chapter 45

The first day of winter break I finished packing my trunk and met the boys in their dorm room. The sight of Remus and Peter calmly sitting on their beds while watching Sirius and James frantically race around the room greeted me.

"What's this?" My voice caused Sirius to stumble in surprise while James ignored me and the other two acknowledged my appearance with nods.

"James and Sirius decided against packing last night," Remus answered. "If they don't hurry up we'll miss the train." He directed the last sentence to the panicking duo.

"Maybe if somebody got off their arse and _helped_ us we wouldn't have to worry about it." James snapped.

Remus rolled his eyes and remained seated on his bed. I chuckled at the two of them. "I guess I forgot to mention we aren't taking the train."

Sirius and James immediately stopped what they were doing and all four of them stared at me in obvious confusion. "What?" Peter asked.

"I suppose we could take the train if you guys really want." I made my way over to Sirius' bed and sat down. "But I planned on calling my elves to pop over and get me. I assumed I would do the same with you guys since we would just be going straight to my manor the second we got to the platform."

"So we've been packing for no bloody reason?" James didn't sound angry, just exasperated.

"Not for _no_ reason. " I assured them. "You still need your stuff for break. I'm just saying you don't have to worry about making the train. Unless your families will be there then we should probably hurry up."

The Marauders looked between one another with silently raised eyebrows and shaking heads. "My parents will be there to pick up Regulus," Sirius said nonchalantly as he began packing at a much slower pace. "I sent them a letter last night to let them know I won't be seeing them this Christmas." He suddenly looked over at me, "That is if you're still okay with me staying with you all break. If not then I could stay with James?"

James immediately nodded. "You know you're always welcome at our place, mate. My parents love you."

I shrugged. "I already told you you can stay at my place the entire break, but if you want to visit the Potters at any point that's fine."

Sirius looked thoughtful as he closed his trunk with a snap. "I guess it depends on when James goes back to his place."

Said boy finally finished his own packing and sat on his trunk. "I'll definitely be with my folks for Christmas." Peter and Remus nodded in agreement. They all had families to go back to for the holidays, and thinking about it made me wistful. I had no family to spend my holiday with, only close friends. But they were all I really needed.

Sirius seemed to realize I would be alone for the holiday. "I'll stay until Christmas then leave the day after."

With that plan settled I called for the houseleves. "Mandy, Dash, Suller, Poppet, Klaus!"

Five pops in rapid succession sounded throughout the room, and five familiar elves stood facing me from the end of Sirius' bed. They bowed in sync, and when they stood up straight Mandy took the lead as head elf. "Does Mistress Alex need help?"

"I do." I stood up from the bed and grabbed the handle of my trunk. "These are my friends, the ones I told you would be staying in the Estate." The five elves looked at the four boys before bowing to the entire room.

"Okay guys, grab your trunks and pick an elf." Bemused the four boys did as I told. Mandy stayed near me while the other elves went up to a random boy. All of them looked ready but Klaus. He was paired with James, and the messy haired boy obviously remembered the elf who insulted Lily.

I sighed in exasperation. "James just take his hand he's a good elf."

He reluctantly grasped Klaus' outstretched hand, and as soon as they touched I announced, "Take us to the foyer."

The familiar feeling of traveling by elf engulfed me for barely a second before Mandy and I arrived. The others came a moment behind us. James and Peter were the only two who hasn't seen the Estate. While James seemed impressed with the elegance Peter looked downright stunned. It reminded me of Remus when he first saw the Estate.

"Mandy you stay, you four can go." Mandy gave me her undivided attention while the other elves popped away with bows. "Did you finish the three rooms like I told you about?" Two days earlier I asked James and Peter for their favorite colors so I could change the rooms to their liking.

I knew Sirius' favorite color was red. James' ended up being emerald green like "the color of Lily-Flowers eyes". Peter liked the color orange. I'd told Mandy and had her pick three rooms in the same hallway Remus stayed in. She changed the colors in the rooms to fit the boys needs. Their favorite color coating the walls and bedspread while white covered everything else.

Mandy nodded. "Mandy and Poppet finished the rooms as Mistress ordered."

I gave her a happy smile. "Thank you, Mandy. And tell Poppet thanks as well." She bowed and I sent her away.

Now alone with the four boys I smiled cheerfully. "Your rooms are all on the second floor, so if you'd please follow me." Spinning on my heal I marched off to my right where a small door opened up to another wing of the house. In the corner was a set of marble stairs that went up to a landing then turned to continue up to the second floor.

"Remus you get the same room as before. I hope that's okay?"

"Of course." He opened the second door on our left. Sirius, Peter, and James followed him into the room to see what it looked like.

James moaned. "What? You get a fireplace?"

I chuckled. "This is exactly what your guys' rooms look like, only different colors."

Peter looked impressed, as did Sirius. James stared at me contemplatively. "Maybe I should move in with you. I don't have a fireplace in my room."

I snorted while the five of us shuffled out to look for the other rooms. "Just for the fireplace?"

"And for your wonderful company." James draped an arm over my shoulder and winked cheekily.

Shaking off his arm I opened the door to the room directly across from Remus'. The walls were a dark orange, like the bed sheets and chairs. "This would be Peter's room."

The blonde boy timidly walked into the room. His baby blue eyes surveyed the room in amazement. "I think I'll live here too. It's way better than my place."

His comment had me laughing. "How about you all move here, and I can call this the Marauder Hide-Away instead of Fox Estate?."

Sirius and James shared a look while Peter set his trunk at the end of the queen-sized bed. "I agree." Sirius said firmly. "We Marauders need someplace for secret prank meetings."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Because we need one of those."

"Yes." Sirius and James intoned at the same time.

Not bothering with a response I left the room to check out the last two rooms at the end of the hall. Sirius' room was next to Peter's with James' across the hall. The four boys stared at me expectantly.

"I suppose you'll want a tour of the entire Estate?" I stared at the four in amusement as they all nodded. "Well, directly above us is a hallway just like this one so there are a total of twelve rooms, thirteen if you include the master."

"Is that where you're staying?" Peter questioned.

I nodded. "It is. Come on, I'll show you where it is."

Much like a tour guide I led the four boys around the Estate while commenting on the purpose for each room. Remus never felt up to seeing the entire Estate when he came over for the full moon, so this was a first for him just like it was for the other boys.

Remus fell in love with the library while Peter seemed to like the conservatory. Sirius and James decided their hangout would be in the large living room on the first floor across from the library. I never spent much time in there personally so I felt kind of glad the room would get some use.

The tour ended in the evening. I asked the boys what they wanted for dinner then called for Mandy to make steak and asparagus. Remus had rare while the rest of us asked for medium well.

Sirius, Peter and James were men on a mission. After dinner the three of them ignored the late hour and began relentlessly practicing their transformation. Their goal was to be able to completely change before the upcoming full moon. That gave the three of them about three days. If they didn't get it by the night of the third day Remus and I would be spending the moon alone.

I saw no difference in the boys the first day. Neither did Remus. But then on the second night Sirius suddenly sprouted dog ears. The achievement invigorated all three boys, and they worked even harder than before. Remus seemed torn between telling them they needed sleep or reveling in the fact he had such devoted friends.

The afternoon of the full moon found all five of us in the living room area. Remus and I were working on the homework while the other three were still completely focused on their change.

The room had been completely silent. Even Tasha and Barney were laying contentedly on a nearby couch. Everyone was understandably startled when James gave a loud shout. "Merlin! Look at Peter!"

We followed his directions and my pen fell from my fingers when, instead of seeing Peter, a brown rat sat in his place. We stared at him in disbelief as Peter scurried around experimentally to try out the different form. He suddenly stopped moving, and in a whirl of color returned to his human self.

He had a huge, satisfied smile on his face as he whooped in happiness. "I did it! I actually did it." Peter became smug. "And I'm the first one too."

"Oi!" Sirius shouted in mock offense. "I was supposed to be the first!"

James rapidly shook his head in disagreement, but he couldn't say anything because his mouth was now a deer snout. Instead he pointed one of his hooves at himself to tell us he was supposed to have transformed first.

"Nice job Peter." I briefly abandoned my homework to give the boy a high-five. "I suggest you keep transforming because the more you do it the easier it gets. And I'm sure being a rat was rather disorienting?" Peter nodded. "Then you should walk around the room in your form to get a feel of it. I know it took me a while to get used to walking on four legs."

Peter took my advice to heart and spent the rest of his time shifting in and out of his rat form. When a rat he would slowly make his way around the room before progressively speeding up. Barney and Tasha had to be thrown out of the room because they kept trying to chase after him.

Next to completely transform was James. A majestic stag now stood in the place of the lanky boy. His large antlers gave him a striking pose. It all came crashing down when he tried to take a step forward and ended up falling to the floor. He changed back with a pout on his lips while the rest of us were busy laughing at his misfortune.

Sirius finally accomplished his change when the sun touched the horizon. It was his turn to stumble over four legs while Peter seemed to have mastered his form after several hours of practice, and James could now walk around without falling over. Apparently the antlers made it a lot harder to balance since they made his head feel heavy.

Rounding the boys up I had them follow after Remus and I in their animagus forms. The marble took a bit of a beating against Prongs' hooves, and I hoped Mandy would be able to fix it.

We went out the back doors and walked through the courtyard. The boys definitely had an easier time on the grass instead of smooth marble. Prongs displayed his obvious happiness by bounding forward. Padfoot barked after him and tried his hand–paw–at a quick walk that slowly turned to a jog.

Reaching down I grabbed Wormtail by the torso and set him on my shoulder. His small form wouldn't be able to keep up with the two prancing animals and Remus and my long strides.

Padfoot and Prongs waited by the tree long for the three of us before slowly following us deeper into the forest. We didn't go too far because I didn't want to risk us getting lost.

When I deemed us far enough Remus and I sat on the ground. I removed Wormtail from my shoulder so he could join the other two in their victory of finally becoming their animagus form after studying for so long.

I waited until the sun completely set before motioning the other three to move back. I didn't want Moony feeling overwhelmed by the close proximity of three new animals, and decide to attack them. Once I deemed them far enough I shifted into my bear form and waited for Remus' transformation to take place.

It wasn't until Remus hunched over with a scream of pain that I realized neither of us warned the other Marauders about how much pain the transformation into Moony actually causes. When the three of them made a move to get closer I turned my head to growl at them. I could see them glare at me, but thankfully they stayed put.

A sharp whine cut through the air and I returned my attentions to the russet wolf. His head was bowed as he shook out his fur. He slowly raised his head to stare over in our direction. I grunted to gain his full attention, and he seemed to relax in the company of a familiar pack member.

Padfoot whined hesitantly, causing Moony to stare at him with golden eyes. The wolf sniffed the air to pick up the strange new scents. No recognition could be seen in his eyes, but he didn't attack them either.

While he didn't attack them Moony did move towards them. His powerful limbs took slow but sure steps towards the nervous animagi. Padfoot had been the one to gain his attention, and the black dog was the first to be approached.

I watched their interaction with baited breath. Even though I was nervous my body was ready to lunge forward and knock any of them away in case Moony started getting aggressive.

Padfoot had his ears laid back against his head. He obviously found Remus' wolf form very intimidating. He was right to think so. Moony was a sight to behold. Despite this Padfoot never showed any fear towards the werewolf. Instead he sat down and ducked his head in a submissive way.

Moony paused for a few heart stopping moments before accepting the act of submission and pressing his nose to Padfoot's temple as a sign he accepted him as pack. When he moved away from the black dog I saw his head drop a few inches in relief, not quite used to the close proximity of a werewolf.

Prongs had a more difficult time showing submission. He couldn't lower his head because then he would be pointing his antlers at Moony, and that would be asking for a fight. Instead he slowly stretched out his neck and hesitantly smelled the air near Moony.

The wolf didn't seem to know what to do. On one hand this was a deer and they're supposed to be eaten, but this animal also had a familiar scent to it he couldn't quite place. To be sure he stretched out his neck much like the stag and smelled the air. Just like the dog he felt compelled to press his nose against the deer as a sign of accepting him into the pack.

Wormtail's entire body shook. Moony could eat him in one bite and none of the others would be able to save him. He couldn't recall why he agreed to become an animagus as he gazed at the muzzle that was a out the same size as his animagus form.

Moony dashed all of our fears when he pressed his nose against Wormtail's torso. He took a heavy whiff before huffing. The werewolf backed away from the three animals, stared at them for a moment more, before turning and pouncing on me.

I heard the incredulous bark, snort, and squeak come from the animal Marauders. Moony and I ignored them as we continued our playful wrestling match against one another. It was something the two of us always did, and without the confines of the Shrieking Shack we could tumble around without having to worry about breaking through the floor.

We did have to watch out for the trees though. Moony didn't seem to care that much, but I certainly did.

The other three caught on to the fact our wrestling was only for fun. Wormtail crawled onto Prongs' back, and the two of them followed us around. They couldn't exactly wrestle, but Padfoot could. He proved it by nipping Moony in the rump.

Moony quickly retaliated by knocking his head into the grim animagus' side. I did the same to Moony, and the three of us continued to try wrestling one another to the ground while Prongs and Wormtail kept watch.


	46. Chapter 46

Time passed quickly over winter break. The boys stayed until Christmas Eve then left for their homes. Sirius received a letter from his mother about needing to be home with the rest of the family otherwise he would have stayed with me a few more days. As it was I spent my Christmas with Tasha, Barney, and the elves.

On the second week of break I visited Lily, and another day Christy, Beth and I met up for lunch.

Unfortunately break didn't last forever and I packed my trunk before having Mandy pop me on to the platform. I watched the bustling crowd with resignation. As much as I loved going to Hogwarts it was still school, and you had to wake up early in the morning for learning. The excitement over it being a magic school wore off after the first few years.

For most of the train ride I stayed in a compartment with The Marauders. James and Sirius had to attend a Yule ball and ended up pranking a few people. James apparently didn't get in that much trouble, but the same couldn't be said for Sirius. It seemed the longer he stayed with his family the worse they treated him. I didn't know how to help him other than offering to be there when he needed to talk.

When classes started up again everything seemed perfectly normal, but Sirius brought something to our attention one night when the Marauders and I were hanging out in the Room of Requirement. We may not need the room for animagi study but it's a good hang out spot, and they think it's a good place for making pranks.

"Snivellus is up to something."

I sighed. "His name is Severus. If you can't use it at least call him Snape."

James spoke up before Sirius could knowledge my statement. "What do you mean?"

"I've seen him giving us some weird looks. Especially Moony." The werewolf straightened in his seat at the sound of his name, as did the rest of us. Having anyone gain a special interest in the Marauders wasn't so bad, but Remus in particular? That set off alarm bells. Especially when it's a Slytherin.

"Weird how?" I asked cautiously.

Sirius pursed his lips in thought. "Suspicious glares. Sneers."

James scoffed. "He always does that."

He shook his head. "He gives those to all of us. But the suspicious looks are on Moony when it's close to the full moon."

I shifted uneasily in my seat. I had a vague memory about a situation where Severus found Remus during a full moon, but I didn't know which moon or how he found us. I did know Sirius had something to do with it. "So?"

Peter unhelpfully responded. "We prank him."

Remus and I both grimaced at the idea while Sirius and James looked to be contemplating the pros and cons of the suggestion. I cut in before they could decided on what prank to pull. "Pranking him isn't going to throw off suspicion. If anything it might make it worse if you start pranking him more than you usually do."

"Then what should we do, Alex?" Sirius asked exasperatedly.

"I don't know, ignore it?" I shot back sarcastically.

"What if he knows?!" James argued.

"Then there isn't much we can do about it." I said calmly. "As far as I can see Severus doesn't actually know anything. Suspicious maybe, but he has no solid proof to suggest anything out of the ordinary." My statement helped Remus relax while the other boys still looked irritated that their worst rival might know one of their closely kept secrets.

"If this develops further and you guys see Severus acting even stranger don't do anything." I gave them a warning look when each one of them opened their mouths to protest. "I'm not saying we won't do anything at all, I just think we all need to meet up and think through a plan of action before acting rashly."

The four of them nodded. Remus and Peter less grudgingly than the other two. I thought that was the end of that conversation, at least until Severus became more nosy–as I knew would eventually happen. Unfortunately my warning didn't seem to stay with Sirius.

It was April and the full moon was in the next couple of days. Remus became more irritable as the night came closer–as he usually did–and everybody in the castle chalked it up to his illness. Only us five knew the real reason behind the illness while Severus seemed to be putting pieces of it together.

I overheard him talking with Lily about it in the library. I'd gone to meet with them for a study session like we sometimes do, but I ended up overhearing their worrying topic.

"You can't tell me it's not suspicious." Severus demanded.

Lily dutifully kept her eyes trained on the book in her hands. "There's nothing to be suspicious about."

"Nothing? The sneak out at night, even Palmer. Where do they go?"

"Why do you care Severus?" Lily suddenly asked. "What does anything they do have to do with you?"

Severus sneered. "In case you've forgotten, I have a lot to do with their 'practical jokes'."

"And how do you know this isn't another one? They prank all the time, how are their actions suspicious now?"

Just as Severus seemed determined to answer I decided to step in. In an effort to pretend I hadn't heard anything I gave the two of them small smiles while taking my seat across from them. "Seems like you two were having a good argument. Anything I would know about?"

He train d his black eyes onto me and his lips hinted at a sneer. "I think you would know a lot, actually."

Lily cleared her throat pointedly. "Unfortunately we've moved on from that topic. We have OWLS to study, after all." I groaned at the reminder, but felt grateful Lily stepped in to prevent any unanswerable questions from popping into the rest of the conversation.

Our study session ended after a couple of hours before I left early to go to bed. We always went to bed early on the night before the full moon to try and get the rest we would be missing out on. I felt Severus' suspicious gaze on me until I finally left the library. I debated telling the others about what I overheard, but after checking the time I decided it could wait.

Waiting turned out to be a bad idea. Not sharing information ended up being the problem, but not information from me. Sirius had gone ahead and decided to "prank" Severus without telling any of us. I didn't find out the story until later.

It started out normal. Remus was in the shack while I met up with him first. The other boys always seemed to come a little later when the transformation was closer.

Alarm bells started going off when Peter showed up without James or Sirius. We asked him where they were and he just shrugged. I uneasily pushed my worries to the back of my mind and readied myself for my change into my bear form. Peter followed my example, and the rat animagus made his way over to the threadbare mattress to make himself comfortable until Moony came along.

It wasn't long before Remus started panting. A telltale sign of his werewolf coming to the surface. Watching the pain the transformation puts him through no longer makes me have to look away, but imagining the pain makes me cringe.

After two agonizing minutes Moony was sitting in front of us, panting as if he'd just finished running a marathon. Up until that point the only thing out of the ordinary was the lack of James and Sirius. My worry for the both of them increased when Moony's head snapped up. The reason for his sudden attention became apparent when shouting emerged from deeper down the shack.

Moony's golden eyes darkened as his hackles raised. A vicious snarl tore it's way out of his throat as he launched himself towards the doorway. I immediately lunged after him, but my lumbering frame couldn't match the speed of his lithe form.

Wormtail gave panicked squeaks while I chased after Moony. He wouldn't be acting this way if James and Sirius were here because (if they were smart) they would be in their animagus form. Moony would've been happy if Prongs and Padfoot showed up, but he wasn't happy, he was bloodthirsty. A reaction werewolves will have when a human is nearby.

Moony made it to the opening of the tunnel that would lead out to the Whomping Willow before I finally clamped down on his tail. He gave high-pitched whine of pain before spinning around to try and remove my teeth from his skin.

With most of my focus on keeping Moony from running through the tunnel I tried listening for the sounds that first attracted him. I couldn't smell anything with the scent of werewolf clogging nose, but my ears could pick up the fading sounds of voices and running feet. I struggled with Moony until the noise completely disappeared.

As soon as he was free Moony pounced on me. His jaws clamped down on my throat and he stopped. His tense body hovered over me while the vibrations of his growls traveled throughout my throat. I didn't dare fight against him in such a vulnerable position.

Somewhere above us there was a squeak. I looked up without moving my head to see Wormtail on the banister. For a moment I felt hope flare through me, thinking he would be able to do something, but it quickly disappeared. There isn't much a rat could do against a werewolf.

While Wormtail couldn't do anything physically his presence was enough to get Moony to slowly relax and release me. His golden eyes weren't as dark as before, when he could sense whoever was nearby, but they weren't as light as they usually would be.

The entire night Moony kept his eyes on me. Only looking away to glance at the door, waiting for Padfoot and Prongs to show up. They never did.

When the sun rose and the full moon finally faded from the sky Remus finally began shifting. Peter and I took this cue to shift back into our normal selves. The night had been longer than usual. We didn't wrestle and couldn't fall asleep with how tense Moony had made the two of us.

Remus, when he could finally move without pain, sat up and looked around. When it registered that two of his friends were missing he looked between Peter and I in confusion. "Where's James and Sirius?"

Peter and I glanced at one another and I shrugged. "We don't know. But something happened last night that we should talk to them about."

My response made Remus start worrying. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure, but we can talk about it in the Room of Requirement once all of us are together."

We helped Remus to his feet so we could get back to the castle as quick as possible. The three of each had questions to what could have possibly happened last night to make James and Sirius never show up, and cause Moony to freak out. I had a bad feeling the two were linked, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions just yet.

On our way upstairs to the Gryffindor common room we rounded a corner and saw Severus Snape striding down the corridor. When he spotted us he started sneering, but his eyes landed on Remus he paled drastically. His already naturally pale skin now looked sickly.

"Severus?"

His eyes flicked towards me, but he said nothing. Choosing instead to skirt passed us with a ferocious glare.

After a minute of staring at the spot he was just in the three of us looked at each other and mentally came to the conclusion that we needed to find James and Sirius. Immediately.

We found the two of them in their dorm hunched over on their beds. When the door slammed shut behind us they jumped and focused their eyes on us. Instead of their usual smiles or cocky demeanor they looked angry and a little resigned on James' part.

"Where were you two last night?" I immediately demanded.

Sirius tried to brush it off. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play coy, Sirius Black!" My usually calm tone was raised. I was on the verge of yelling at them both. "Something happened last night while Moony was out, and I have a funny feeling it had something to do with the two of you. So start talking!" When no answer immediately came my smidge of control briefly vanished. "NOW!"

All the boys jumped, but I ignored them. I kept my eyes focused solely on the boys on their beds.

Sirius hung his head with a grimace staining his features, making me transfer my eyes to James. He glared at Sirius while finally explaining the story I dreaded to hear. "Last night Peter, Sirius and I were heading for the Shack when I ended up needing to go to the loo. I left them, and when I came back I found Sirius alone in the corridor staring after someone with a smug look." At this he gave a fierce glare at his best friend.

"Turns out Sirius sent Peter on his way to meet with you two while he told Snape that he knew about his suspicions of us sneaking out at night. Apparently he told Snape that, if he wanted to find out, all he had to do was prod the knot at the base of the Whomping Willow and he would get to see what the big deal was."

Remus, Peter and I looked at the grey eyed boy with horror. Mine was tinged with disappointment because I knew it would happen but hoped it wouldn't. In a way it was my fault as well.

"So the noises Moony and I heard," the boys looked at me as soon as I started talking, "we're you three?"

"No." James rubbed his eyes tiredly. "As soon as I figured out what Sirius did I chased Snape down. I hadn't been fast enough because by the time I reached him he'd already stunned the tree. I tackled him while he was in the tunnel, but he had been far enough down that he…he saw Moony."

A loud whoosh of air came from Remus' lungs and he slowly collapsed to the ground. He stared between his two friends hoping it was all a lie, but by the sorrow on both their faces let him know none of this was a joke.

James continued the story while Sirius stayed silent. "I dragged Snape back into the castle where Dumbledore found the two of us, Sirius already by his side. We spent the rest of the night in his office where Snape tried arguing about getting all of us expelled–even you Alex. Said it was because you were somehow involved in it."

Severus must not have seen me when I bit down on Moony's tail or else he would have definitely mentioned a bear biting the werewolf's tail.

"Thankfully Dumbledore didn't expel us, but we have detention with Snape for three weeks and have lost one hundred points each."

My voice was nothing more than a whisper. "You deserve to be expelled."

Sirius shot up. "How could you say that?!"

"How could I?! How could _you_?! You're idiocy almost got Severus killed _by Remus_." said boy made a choked noise from his place on the floor. "Don't you see that?"

"Alex he deserves it!"

"TO WHAT?!" I screamed. "To die?! You don't like him so you just decided 'lets tell him my best friends biggest secret. Nothing bad could happen'. Just a joke, right? WRONG!" Sirius sat floundering for a response but I plowed on. "Do you know what would have happened if I hadn't bit Moony's tail? Not only would Severus have died, but James would have ended up getting ripped to shreds too." Sirius grew more and more uncomfortable the longer I talked and I reveled in it. "I almost died trying to save them! That's three deaths you could've caused. Had Moony succeeded it would've been four because the ministry would've executed him."

Nobody in the room moved. They didn't know what to do or say. Remus just had a bomb dropped that he almost killed people because his friend gave out his darkest secret. Peter felt uncomfortable in the tense atmosphere and choose to kneel by Remus in case he needed help with anything. James looked between Sirius and I as if finally realizing how much trouble they've avoided. Sirius stared at me with wide eyes filled with shock before finally speaking.

"I didn't think…"

His attempt tapered off and I nodded with a laugh of disbelief. "'Didn't think'. You never do, do you? You've always been so impulsive, Sirius. Acting before you think. It was never much of an issue in the past, but tonight it's hurt people. Almost killed them. How–what is wrong with you?"

Tears of frustration were welling up in my eyes. I had death at my throat tonight because the boy I had a crush on almost killed somebody. So much death could have happened in one night all because of a single boys stupidity.

Sirius looked started. I've cried maybe once or twice in front of the boys, and nobody hated to see my tears more than him. "Please don't cry. It was an accident–"

"No it wasn't!" I shouted. "You sent that boy to his death on _purpose_ , Sirius. You knew fully well what he would find down there. I just don't…how could you…" I was at such a loss for words I had to look away to gather my thoughts. "You're apology better have been amazing."

The worry over me was replaced with confusion. "Apology? For what?"

My shoulders slackened with shock and I looked at Sirius with wide eyes, as did Remus and Peter. "You didn't apologize?"

"Dumbledore made them shake hands." James grimaced.

I brought my hands up and buried my face against them. My voice came out muffled. "Sirius you need to apologize."

He sighed. "Remus I'm really sorry about what I've done, and I hope you can forgive me."

I removed my hands to look at a still shell shocked Remus. His mouth moved without words at first, but eventually he got them out. "It'll be fine."

Everyone caught the meaning that he certainly has not forgiven him. In my heart I knew he may not forgive him at all.

"Okay. Now you need to do an even better job for Severus."

Sirius exploded. "What?! Why do I have to apologize to him? He's a snake, Alex, and he's been following us around and staring. If anything I did him a favor!"

I stared at him blankly. "Are you serious?" He suddenly smirked and my heart was consumed with rage. "Don't you dare start joking about this!"

He sighed now, finally expressing his exasperation with everything that happened that night. "Alex, stop making such a big deal. Nobody got hurt, we've been punished, it's all okay."

My rage boiled down into a manageable anger. One that made me fight back the tears of frustration. "Fuck you, Sirius." My response shocked everybody in the room and Sirius had to prop up his arm to prevent him from falling back against his bed. "There are a lot of things I can accept from you, but this…is not one of them. You will give that boy a sincere apology."

Sirius narrowed his eyes challengingly. "And if I don't."

I started shaking my head and backing away from the door. "Then I don't know who you are any more." Spinning around I yanked open the door, ignoring the shouts of my name, and slammed it closed behind me.


	47. Chapter 47

After storming out of Gryffindor tower I tried thinking of a place to go where I could have some privacy and not worry about anyone hearing my sobs. With the Marauders map the boys would be able to find me easily no matter where I went inside the castle. With that limiting my options I left the castle entirely and raced for the Forbidden Forest.

As soon as I was a safe distance passed the tree line I allowed myself to sob openly. I didn't stop running, and I couldn't tell what direction I was going in through the blur of tears.

I couldn't understand. Sirius was such a passionate person about everything except for homework. Despite that he's always cared about people because of his past with his family. His mother specifically. He pranking people because it makes them laugh, and those pure feelings were scarce when he was young.

Those pranks become a little more vicious when it comes to the Slytherins. I understood that his family always pressed Slytherin ideals onto him since the moment he was born, so I overlooked them. Nobody ever got truly hurt with those pranks, but humiliation was part of a lot of them.

The hostility between Severus, James and Sirius was something I never understood. The boys never cared about blood purity, so Severus' halfblood status had no part in it. I've always heard their excuse of him being a slimy snake or an evil Slytherin. None of them were good enough excuses since they thought those things about every Slytherin.

I think James' hostility stemmed from jealousy. Severus was friends with Lily while the redhead wouldn't even look at James. Sirius must have fed off of that hostility because now the two of them loathed Severus.

No matter what their feelings were, Sirius' complete disregard for the fact he almost killed Severus was mind blowing to me. I didn't understand. Was it just because it was Severus he almost killed or would he feel that way no matter who went down there? He also didn't seem to realize he put more than just Severus in danger _even though_ I described just how stupid his decision was.

Then he goes and says he did Severus a "favor"? All I could gain from that was how Severus now knew what we've been sneaking out to do every night. That's not even a favor. A favor would have been to tell him _not_ to go to the Whomping Willow on the full moon. Sirius did the exact opposite of that.

All of a sudden my foot got caught on an exposed tree root, sending me face first into the forest floor. I didn't feel the energy to stand back up, so I chose to curl into a ball and lay there.

Sirius' actions and his response to those actions completely shocked me. I will never understand his motivations, and I wondered if he even knew them himself. My feelings on the matter confused me as well. Shame, doubt, horror, disbelief, guilt. Not only for what Sirius did, but because I knew it would happen and I did absolutely nothing to try and stop it.

I couldn't be near Sirius knowing how completely unaffected he felt about his attempt at murder. Until he truly realized what his actions could have caused I don't think I would be able to talk to him. I don't know what Dumbledore was thinking not expelling him because what he did is unspeakable.

After a while the cool forest floor helped me calm down. I didn't know how much time had passed since entering the Forbidden Forest, no doubt classes have started. I didn't really care, but I also didn't want to get in trouble for missing class by being in the Forbidden Forest.

Groaning tiredly I pushed myself off the ground. Looking around I finally noticed how dark it was. I didn't know if it was from the thick foliage or because I had actually been laying on the ground for a lot longer than I thought.

Heaving a large sigh I shifted into my animagus form. Without it I would have been standing in that spot absolutely clueless as where to go. As a bear I could catch the faint scent I left behind when running through the trees. My coconut shampoo and stale tears.

I slowly followed the trail back to the castle. While I made sure to stay on the trail I kept my eyes and ears out for any strange noises. There are supposed to be dangerous things inside this forest–hence the name, Forbidden Forest. Luckily for me I didn't find anything on my way in the forest, and if my luck holds I can leave unscathed.

The unnatural stillness of the trees made it easy for me to hear the barely audible thumps. I stopped moving to look in the general direction of the noise. The longer I stayed there the louder the thumping became. My muscles locked in fight or flight mode.

Listening to the strange noise I realized it sounded a lot like a running horse. I wasn't sure if I believed my ears because I didn't expect a horse to be in the Forbidden Forest. Not a normal horse at least. It's possible I was hearing a unicorn, but why was there only one, and why was it running?

My answer came when the horse broke through the dense foliage. To my disappointment it wasn't a unicorn. The creature also wasn't a horse–at least not fully. It had the body of a horse while its neck and head was replaced by a human torso.

The sight of a real life centaur had my jaw dropping. No doubt it looked comical as a bear, but I was too shocked to care what I looked like.

His short hair was a dark brown color that matched the shade of his horse body, while his human torso was a few shades lighter. The centaurs appearance shocked me, but what scared me was the bow in his hand.

I stared at the arrow pointed straight at my forehead. My breathing was labored from fear. Is this it? Have I met the end of my third life? Something inside of me was actually okay with that. I've lived for so long now. My only regret involved Sirius. I never would have left him on such horrible terms if I knew that would be the last moment we saw each other. Knowing him he would find a way to guilt himself into thinking my death was his fault.

Of course theres a possibility of me being reborn for a _fourth_ time but I hoped to God that wouldn't happen. Three is enough.

"You are not as you seem."

The centaur's deep voice broke me from my thoughts. He lowered the bow and I felt my body relax at the lack of immediate death. As a response to his statement I snorted softly in agreement.

"The stars have warned us of your arrival, Palià Psychí."

I slowly started stepping backwards, making sure not to take my eyes off of the centaur.

"Do not be afraid, world walker. The centaur's know of you and your purpose here. Please accept my apology for my actions. I had not realized who you were."

The way he worded the apology had me wondering if he actually knew I wasn't a bear. If he did I wouldn't be surprised. He did mention stars talking about me, and why would stars talk about a bear? To cement whether or not he actually knew what I was I shifted back into my human form. I ended up in a sitting position, so I quickly scrambled to my feet. Even at full height the centaur towered above me.

I swallowed thickly. "I'm Alex Palmer," I stuck my hand out towards him, "you?"

At first he only stared at my hand, but he slowly lifted his own arm to grasp it. Instead of shaking we stood there holding hands. I felt awkward the longer we stood there, but I didn't know how to retract my hand from his firm grip.

"You may call me Taandrien, Paliá Psychí."

"What does that mean?"

Taandrien let go of my hand, and I gratefully let it fall to my side. "It is the name the stars gifted you with. It means old soul."

I huffed incredulously and in amusement. "True enough." What was my age now? One hundred and something. Two hundred at most. "What else have the stars said about me?"

The centaur shifted. I looked at his hooves amazedly. How cool would it be to have a horse body? Maybe if I do get a fourth life I could just be an animal. Way better than going through school over and over again.

"Your birth into this world changed everything."

I looked into the centaur's eyes curiously. "Everything?"

"The balance between Light and Dark is shifting. The Dark grows, steadily overpowering the Light. The Chosen One wasn't to arrive for years. Your purpose in this world is unclear, but your soul became a beacon."

I released a shaky breath. "I did not mean to come."

"The decision wasn't yours to make." Taandrien turned his body away but didn't take his eyes off of me. "The Fates favor you," and with that the centaur ran off, disappearing into the dark abyss of the forest.

I stared in the direction he left long after I couldn't see him. I've never had such an odd encounter. From what I could get everything was normal before I came. The Dark being Voldemort and his death eaters steadily gaining power against Dumbledore and the Order. The Chosen One was obviously Harry Potter, yet I'm a beacon? The only thing I could think of was that I've become a sort of second chosen one. I can change things, but if I fail then Harry would still be born into a prophesy.

Determination filled me. I remembered most of what happens in the Harry Potter movies, and I knew I needed to do everything in my power to prevent that from becoming a future. So many people died in the Second Wizarding War. James, Lily, Severus, Remus…Sirius. Everyone I loved would end up dying if I didn't change anything.

Shifting my form I began running through the forest. I needed to get back and start thinking things over. Making plans for what I would need to do, when to do it, and how. I wondered if I should include anybody. Hunting for horcruxes won't be easy. Especially since I only knew for sure where one of them was. The others might not have been hidden yet.

After ten minutes if running I had to slow to a walk. My wrestling on the full moon with Moony only gave me so much stamina. That didn't matter too much though. I could see light coming through the trees several yards in front of me. Now close to Hogwarts grounds I shifted into my normal form and casually walked out of the forest as if I did it every day.

To my surprise the sun was beginning to set. There were only a few people on the grounds, but they were making their way for the castle. I had been in the forest the entire day. My stomach grumbled at the reminder of never getting anything to eat.

While hungry I knew there was still time before dinner started. I walked towards the tree near the Black Lake and sat on the roots, staring over the calm surface as if it would tell me the answers I needed.

"Alex!"

Slowly turning my head I saw Remus jogging towards me. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I hadn't seen him when I left the forest. Either way I gestured for him to take a seat next to me, and he took it with a thankful nod.

We sat under the tree for several silent minutes. The crisp air occasionally blowing passed our faces. Snow still littered the ground even though spring was near.

"Sirius is worried."

I hummed dismissively. Outwardly not caring while on the inside I felt like something stabbed my heart. I care–dare I say love–that boy, but I knew I couldn't budge on my stance to ignore him until he apologized to Severus for his actions. They were unspeakable.

"Did he apologize?"

Remus sighed, and I already had my answer. "No."

"Then I don't care what he's feeling." Lies. "Until he sees how badly he screwed up I will have nothing to say to him."

"But Alex–"

"Don't try and justify what he's done, Remus!" I snapped. "If anyone should understand what I'm feeling it should be you. So many things could have gone wrong because of his stupidity."

Remus winced. "I do understand. The thing is, those three were my first friends. The first to accept my…condition. I can't just abandon one of them because I would be leaving all of them."

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Doesn't mean you can't knock some sense into them every once in a while."

He chuckled. "You did a pretty good job." He went silent for a moment. "Where were you today? You disappeared."

I shrugged nonchalantly. "The Forbidden Forest."

Remus choked. "Alex! Why would you go in there?"

My jaw clenched. "Because I wanted to cry in private."

The declaration caused Remus to quieten. He was beginning to see just how much the whole situation was affecting me. True it was bad for everybody involved, but it seemed to hurt me the worst. Having Sirius barely affected allowed Remus to see part of why our relationship seemed to be in the fritz.

"Will you forgive him?"

I sighed. "Oh, Remus. I've already forgiven him."

He looked at me in surprise. "Really?"

"Of course. I can't stay mad at that boy for long. Doesn't mean I'm not upset."

Remus sighed. "I'm not sure if I've forgiven him. He said he was just doing it for a laugh."

"Because for some reason he can't see that someone could have gotten seriously injured." I said. "Apparently something terrible actually has to happen before he realizes, 'Oh shit, that was bad. I shouldn't have done that'."

Looking up at the almost fully dark sky I stood up. Remus followed my lead and we began walking towards the castle. Halfway there I asked him a question. "Why did you come out here?"

He grimaced. "Sirius wanted me to talk to you."

I scoffed and then spat, "Of course he did. Heaven forbid he talk to me himself. Did he want you to test the waters to see if it was safe to approach?"

I looked at Remus expectantly and he grimaced. "Pretty much."

"Then you can tell him he can suck my dick."

He looked at me with shocked eyes. "Wha–You–Huh?"

Without pausing in my stride I made eye contact to convey how completely serious I was being. "I will not talk to Sirius again until I know he has apologized to Severus for what he's done. If he doesn't do it soon then…well, he best do it quickly. The longer he waits the more pointless an apology would be."

Remus walked quickly to try and keep up with me. "Alex, what if he doesn't apologize?"

The likely possibility sent pain through my heart. "Then our friendship could very well be over. You have to understand, Remus, I don't _want_ that to be the case. I care about Sirius more than he knows, but I can't–I _can't_!" I didn't know how to put my reasons into words, but Remus thankfully knew what I meant.

At the doorway into the Great Hall Remus and I went our separate ways. I sat next to Christy, Beth and Eliza while Remus sat at the Gryffindor table with the Marauders. I did my best to hide my inner turmoil while the girls talked about their makeover ideas to use for the night.

Throughout the entire dinner I could feel someone staring at me. I didn't dare look up. If I didn't look at him then it would be easier to ignore him. I made it through the meal without looking at him once, but I prayed he would apologize soon because I wasn't sure how long I would be able to last.


	48. Chapter 48

He never apologized. I waited days to hear him say he apologized to Severus. The first time he approached me to try and resume our friendship I immediately asked him if he apologized yet. Sirius scoffed and told me there was no need for him to do so. He did that three times before I finally told him not to bother talking to me until he gets his act together and says "I'm sorry". At this point I didn't even care if it was sincere, I just wanted my friend back.

Unfortunately for me Sirius cared more about keeping his pride than rekindling our friendship. I thought I meant more to him–he certainly meant a lot to me. The saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" described my current feelings perfectly.

The sudden distance between me and the Marauders were quickly noticed by the rest of the school. Rumors spread about what could have happened to separate such a close knit group. The only people to actually ask me were Christy, Beth, Eliza, Lily, and Edmund.

I couldn't tell any of them the truth about what happened since it involved Remus as a werewolf almost killing Severus, so I kept it vague. Christy, Beth, and Eliza tried to drag the information out of me with thousands of questions, but I remained firm. Only telling them that Sirius and I got into a fight and I wouldn't talk to him until he grew up and apologized. Not a complete lie.

I told Edmund the same thing. For some reason he seemed rather pleased to hear I was on the outs with Sirius. He denied it though. Said it was horrible that I lost such a close friend, and he would be there for me if I ever needed someone to talk to. I thanked him for that before escaping to my dorm room. It was now the only place I could go where I knew I would be truly alone.

When Lily asked me what happened we were doing our homework in the courtyard. Severus sat silently next to us, discreetly listening for my answer.

I sighed before explaining as best as I could without giving her too many details. "A few weeks ago Sirius and I got into a big argument. He did something completely stupid–more so than usual–" Severus snorted but I continued without acknowledging him, "–and he barely got any punishment for it."

After saying that I looked at Severus to see him staring right back. We locked gazes and I sent him my most apologetic look. His face remained blank, so I didn't know if he figured out what I was talking about.

I cleared my throat and looked back at my homework. "I told him not to talk to me until he apologized. Apparently that didn't mean anything to him because he hasn't apologized yet."

Lily wrapped an arm around me and I grateful rested my head on her shoulder. "I can't believe he would do that." I felt her hair brush against my cheek as she shook her head incredulously. "You two were so close, and he's just throwing it away?"

I grimaced. "Pretty much. He's way too prideful." Sighing tiredly I sat up straight. "I don't know what to do."

"Nothing." Severus intoned.

Lily huffed. "She can't do that Severus, they're best friends. Wouldn't you be upset if our friendship was ruined?"

Severus sneered. "I'm not an arrogant bully. I would apologize because I actually care."

"Sirius cares about Alex very much!" Lily snapped. "Everybody could see how close they were. Possibly more than Sirius and James are."

"Well we're not close anymore, now are we?" I stopped their argument real quick. "Sirius was very clear with showing me just how much I don't matter to him."

Lily looked at me sympathetically. "But you care."

I rubbed my eyes tiredly and whispered, "More than anything."

A shout of my name caught our attention. We looked around until I spotted James hurrying towards us. Lily growled while Severus looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

James came to a stop in front of us. He put his hands on his knees while he painted, trying to regain the energy he lost from running around. "Alex," he quickly sent a cheeky grin at Lily, "Lily-Flower." James turned back to me, ignoring Severus and the fact his comment had Lily turning red from anger. "I need to talk to you."

My eyebrows climbed upwards. "About what?"

He glanced at the two beside me before shaking his head. "Best to talk alone." His hand grasped my wrist and he yanked me from the bench. Lily and I yelled indignantly while Severus sat back and watched.

"James!"

"Don't worry!" He told me. "Just a quick chat. You can go back in a minute." I grumbled irritably but allowed him to lead me around. We didn't go too far, but we stopped a little inside the castle where James threw me behind a pillar.

My body collided with two others, preventing me from falling to the floor, and I used them to straighten myself out. Once I had my balance I turned to see Remus and Peter giving me expectant looks.

I huffed. "What is this?"

James crossed his arms. "This has gone on long enough."

I gave him an odd look. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about!" James threw up his arms in exasperation. "The situation between you and Sirius. It's getting ridiculous."

I rolled my eyes. I should have known a confrontation would happen. "You're absolutely right."

All three of them looked surprised and Peter asked. "We are?"

"Yes. Just tell Sirius to apologize, then everything can go back to normal."

James groaned irritably while Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. "He's not going to apologize, Alex. He doesn't think he did anything wrong."

"Then he's an idiot." I snapped. "He almost got somebody killed, how could he not see the problem with that?"

"Because it's Snape." Peter said as if it would be obvious. In truth it sort of was.

"That's not an excuse! Look, lets just drop it. "The boys looked relieved until I explained what I meant. "Sirius obviously doesn't care that much about me, or else he would have apologized. I only asked for this one thing and everything would be fine. He hasn't even told me his reasons behind doing it. The last time we talked was two weeks ago, and he tried to convince me Severus is an evil Slytherin waiting to stab me in the back."

The boys grimaced when they heard that. Sirius really wasn't handling the situation very well, but they didn't want to admit that about their best mate.

I sighed sadly. "Guys, I have nothing against you three. If you ever want to talk that's fine, but if you need to stick by Sirius as his friends that's okay too. Just don't act like complete strangers." With that I gave them each a tight hug before making my way back outside.

Lily and Severus were still in their spots when I returned. Lily was the first to look up. "What did they want?"

"They wanted me and Sirius to make up."

She sighed and tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. "Why can't you two just talk it out?"

I gathered my bag and slung it over my shoulder. "Because I've already explained to Sirius what he's done wrong, but he just doesn't get it. And I can't just get over it because then if a problem like this happens again he would just think 'give her time, she'll come around'."

Lily pursed her lips but I knew she understood. "You know I don't like The Marauders all that much, but I know you and Sirius were close so I hope things get better between you two."

"I don't." Severus stated monotonously.

Lily hit him on the shoulder. "That's a horrible thing to say!"

He shrugged, unaffected by the hit. "Black doesn't deserve forgiveness. He's an arrogant sod."

I sighed. "Yeah, well, he is– _was_ –my arrogant sod." With a small wave goodbye I turned and walked away. My run-in with the boys ruined what could have been an okay day. Their presence only reminded me of how little I see them. We're in the same castle and share classes, yet we somehow manage to never interact.

While my argument with Sirius had put a wrench in our friendship, it also affected my friendship with the rest if the Marauders. I couldn't hang out with only one or two of them at a time because they're always together. Practically glued at the hips. Even now I wondered where how those three ditched Sirius to get me alone.

Not only has it affected my everyday schedule, but the last full moon I told Remus it would be best if I didn't join him. He tried arguing of course, but I didn't listen.

I felt bad for everything that's happened. While I could lay the blame on Sirius it's also partially my fault for not trying to talk more about the issue. The problem with that was if I talked with Sirius I know I would cave and start begging him to forgive me even though I think everything I've done is entirely justified. My feelings for that boy go deeper than I initially thought, and they're becoming obvious to me the longer we're apart.

My feelings wouldn't have mattered whether we fought or not. Sirius is a ladies man. He never settled with one girl for more than one month. If I told him I liked him it could have ruined our friendship. I would rather hide my feelings than lose his friendship. Something I seem to have lost anyway.

Christy noticed I've been looking at Sirius more than I used to. It made me realize how many times I look at the boy throughout the day. I put a quick stop to it, but she started asking questions about whether I was going to forgive him. I didn't want to tell anyone about my growing feelings, so I went along with it. Christy warned me against any ideas of forgiveness and it helped me strengthen my resolve to keep my distance.

Despite everything I've gone through I should have known the relationship between Severus and The Marauders wouldn't have changed. They still hexed the Slytherin while walking through corridors, causing a duel and then shared detentions. OWLS prevented any major incidents, but it didn't last.

The tests for the day we're all finished. Lily and I were walking aimlessly around the castle, reveling in the fact our week of testing was over, when the redhead spotted something outside. I tried asking her what was wrong, but she took off. Shocked at her actions I quickly ran after her.

I tried shouting for her attention, but nothing worked. If I wanted to find out what was bothering her I had to chase her all the way out into the school grounds. We ran from the fourth floor to the willow tree near the lake. I had a horrible stitch in my side while Lily seemed unbothered. By the run at least. Her face was reddening, emerald eyes colder than an ice cube, and her fists balled up so tight I wouldn't be surprised if her nails cut her palm.

"Potter! Put him down, right now!"

Taking a good look at my surroundings I finally noticed The Marauders. James was looking at us like a deer caught in headlights–no pun intended–with his wand pointed at something up in the tree. Following the wand with my eyes I sighed tiredly when I found Severus hanging upside down from one of the branches.

"C'mon, Evans, we're just having a bit of fun!"

Ignoring yet another argument between the two I walked closer to where Severus was suspended. He wasn't too high up; the top of his head stopped a few inches above me. I pressed my lips together while raising my eyebrows, and Severus scowled darkly. I would have spelled him down, but I didn't know how they got him up there.

My help wouldn't have been needed because the next moment he dropped like a sack of potatoes. He fell too quick for me to react, and his impact with the ground made me wince.

Lily stomped towards us in an enraged huff. James somehow always managed to wind her up, and it made me wonder how those two ever had Harry.

The two of us reached down to help Severus off the ground, but he hit our arms away. He scrambled onto his feet by himself and gave the two of us a glare. Lily ignored the look. "Are you alright–?"

He cut off her question viciously. "I don't need help from mudbloods like you."

Lily recoiled as if the words physically slapped her. My body jerked as well and my eyes widened in surprise. More for the fact he called Lily–his best friend I'm eighty percent positive he's in love with–such a foul word. Technically the word didn't apply to me since I was a halfblood, but it still stung.

Angry shouts came from The Marauders. I listened to them while eyeing Lily warily. She looked like someone just ran over her cat. It was quickly replaced when James yelled, "What did you call them?!"

Her features shifted drastically at the sound of his voice. Her eyes narrowed into a steely glare and a mask of cold indifference replaced the hurt. "I'm sorry we interrupted. Good day boys," she nodded to the Marauders then glanced at Severus, "Snivellus."

Lily turned to hike back to the castle while Severus stared after her with dawning horror. I looked between the two of them, watching what had once been a strong friendship finally dwindle into nothing. "I'll talk to you later Severus," I said quietly.

His head snapped towards me in surprise. I don't know if he would have said anything in response because Sirius gently pushed me away, so he could force his way into Severus' personal space to jab his wand against the Slytherins chest. "Don't you _dare_ look at Alex. Don't even think about her. I don't want to see you near her unless it's to apologize. You bloody bastard."

His initial reaction surprised me, but hearing him say "apologize" made me scoff. "That's rich coming from you." Shoving my way passed them I strode towards the castle, intent on hiding away in my dorm room until dinner time.

A shout from behind me made me walk even faster, but they grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop. I kept my face down so my hair could hide my face.

"Alex please."

Sirius' pained voice made my throat constrict. I cleared it as best as I could. "What do you want?"

"Just–Can we talk?"

I started shaking my head. "I don't think there's anything to talk about."

His hands griped my shoulders and forced me to turn and face him. He opened his mouth to argue, but they died on his tongue when he saw the tears I desperately tried to keep from falling.

"I think you made your feelings very clear." My voice was thick from my emotion as I tried not to collapse into sobs.

"Alex don't–let me explain!" He almost sounded desperate.

I viciously shook my head. If Sirius wanted to talk he shouldn't have waited months. "I asked you for one thing! It wasn't even that big of a request! I shouldn't have had to ask in the first place, but I did! And what did you do?" I didn't wait for him to answer. "Nothing! God, you didn't even try! Two simple words that take one second to say. Not n ounce of effort. I expected maybe a half-assed apology, but no!"

Sirius brought his arms up to try and hug me but I viciously pulled away. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" My hysterical words echoed over the grounds. I shakily pointed a finger at him and whispered, "Don't…"

The remorse on his face made me want to punch him, but instead it broke me. Tears streamed down my cheeks in earnest, and sobs racked my body. Covering my mouth in a fruitless attempt to hide them I quickly turned away from Sirius and sprinted for the castle. He shouted for me to stop, but I ignored him.

I don't remember my race through the castle. No doubt a lot of people saw me and now rumors would spread in a wild attempt to figure out why. None of that mattered to me as I threw myself into my dorm room, locked the door, and collapsed on my bed.


	49. Chapter 49

After thinking about my emotional breakdown I felt decidedly embarrassed. With O.W.L.S. over I didn't have to go to any classes, so I hid in my dorm room the entire day. I didn't even leave to get food which is why, when dinner rolled around, my stomach emitted a monstrous growl.

Now noticing the gnawing hunger I set the book I was reading aside with a grimace. Eyeing my pajamas I quickly put on a bra, a tank top, some pants, my school cloak, and a pair of flats. Quickly brushing my hair and teeth I felt ready enough to show my face.

Before leaving I had an internal debate. All day I had been thinking about how Severus called Lily a mudblood. Not just Lily, he called me that as well. I knew this is the reason their friendship ends, but I wanted to somehow let him know that I didn't mind. Sure we aren't exactly friends, more like tentative acquaintances, but I needed him to know I was willing to stay in touch. One little insult isn't going to chase me away.

I huffed to myself. Lily threw away years of friendship over one word. Sure it's not something you should ever call a muggleborn, but I honestly didn't see what made it such a huge deal. I personally feel like being called a bitch would be worse.

Quickly rushing to my desk I pulled out some spare parchment and a pen. I wrote down a quick note: _Meet me tonight at the Astronomy tower before 3am. I just want to talk._

Rushing out of my dorm I nervously folded up the note and put it in my pocket. Nobody was in the common room. They most likely already left for the feast. I felt better about that, like this should be done in secret.

I didn't see anybody on my way to the owlery although there was someone already there. In the dark I couldn't make out their features, but he took no notice of me as he pet one of the owls so I ignored him.

Hooter spotted me from his place on the rafters and immediately flew down to my shoulder. I ran my fingers down his feathered chest. I haven't seen him all year because I don't have anyone to send letters to during the school year. I felt guilty that he's been sitting up here with nothing to do.

Pulling out the note I held it up for him to see. I kept my voice low so I didn't disturb the other birds. "I need you to take this to Severus Snape. Get it to him before midnight."

Hooter cooed and snatched the parchment with his beak. He butted his head against mine before disappearing through a nearby window. I watched him go, but when he dove out of sight I turned around and headed for the Great Hall.

Unknown to me the boy had noticed me the second he heard my voice. At Severus' name his hands stilled over his owl's head. Hazel eyes watched me carefully from behind round specs. He let out a loud breath when I was safely out of earshot. Mechanically sending off his owl he started walking towards the owlery exit. Thoughts of his best mate circling through his mind and whether or not he should say anything about what he'd just heard.

* * *

Taking my seat at the Ravenclaw table I quickly piled food onto my plate. After several ravenous bites I heard Christy laugh beside me. "You'll choke if you don't slow down."

Humming in acknowledgment I swallowed my bite of food. "Sorry. I'm just really hungry."

Beth scoffed. "We can see that."

"Have you eaten at all today?" Eliza asked. "You haven't left your dorm as far as I can tell."

I nodded. "Because I haven't." Taking a spoonful of mashed potatoes I stuck it in my mouth. My stomach was finally settling down now that I was giving it sustenance.

Beth hummed. "It's a good thing you didn't. Everybody heard about what happened between you and Black yesterday."

Cringing at the reminder my eyes automatically flew up to look at Sirius. My eyebrows furrowed when I noticed James was missing and the other three were slowly picking at their food. Usually their laughing and joking with one another.

Questions regarding James' whereabouts were cast aside when he strode purposefully through the doors. He gave a cocky smile and wave to the people watching his entrance. Some of those looks were full of suspicion.

I watched as discreetly as possible as James took his seat next to Sirius. Sirius said something, probably asking where he's been, but James only answered with shrugs.

Looking away I gave my attention to Beth. "What has everyone been saying?"

The three girls eyed each other, silently conversing whether or not they should say anything, but eventually decided it would be better if I knew. "Most girls are ecstatic you two have finally 'broken up', and now they're going to try even harder to get in Black's bed."

I grimaced at Eliza's admission. An ugly feeling curled inside my stomach. "Wonderful."

"I also noticed," Beth piped up, "that some of the Slytherins are staring at you way more than before."

Since my back was to the Slytherin table I couldn't see them. Beth and Eliza were across from me, so they had a better view. The jealousy was replaced with nerves. "How many Slytherins?"

Eliza grimaced. "Practically all the seventh years. Some sixth years as well."

Christy tensed beside me. She was obviously uncomfortable with the idea of having her backs to the Slytherins. I felt the same. "Okay," I breathed. "Don't look at them. We're going to pretend we haven't noticed anything."

"That's kind of hard not to notice it now," Christy hissed. "My skin is crawling, and I'm not even the one they're looking at!"

I sighed heavily through my nose. I opened my mouth to say one thing, but then I became thoughtful. "No. You're not the one they're looking at."

The three of them looked at each other oddly then stared at me. "What are you talking about?" Eliza asked.

"They've been watching me since the beginning of last year. I've completely forgotten about it." I bit the inside of my cheek worriedly. "They could have confronted me at any time. I've certainly been alone enough for it to happen."

Glancing up my eyes caught steel grey looking back at me. My breath got caught in my throat. James was leaning into Sirius' side, whispering something into his ear. Whatever he said next had Sirius looking away from me and glaring over at the Slytherin table.

Blinking rapidly I looked down at my plate. He usually doesn't stare at me like that. Not since our argument. My thoughts derailed, and it took Christy asking me what was wrong for me to remember what we had been talking about.

"I think they might be planning something."

Eliza huffed an incredulous laugh. "Of course they're planning something."

Beth's eyebrows were scrunched nervously. "I think it's best you don't go anywhere alone."

I shook my head. "That's just putting off the inevitable. Not to mention they might not care someone else is with me." The girls looked downtrodden at the thought. "Just don't worry about it you guys. Whatever happens, happens."

Beth scoffed. "Easy for you to say."

My lips twitched. "If anyone has a right to say that it's me. I am the one they're after."

They didn't seem very amused. Instead of talking about it any more we turned to our food. We finished it in silence, and after dessert was over everyone excitedly left for their dorms to hang out with their friends before leaving on summer break.

I followed my house in the direction of Ravenclaw tower, but halfway there I slipped away. Nobody seemed to notice me heading in a different direction. That or they didn't care.

I chose to go to the Astronomy tower right away. If I went to my dorm room Severus could show up at the tower before me and end up thinking I tricked him. That definitely wasn't something I wanted to happen. So to play it safe I went straight there and hoped he would be curious enough to meet with me.

Two hours went by with no sign of the black haired Slytherin. It grated on my patience since I didn't think to bring anything up with me to help pass the time. Instead I chose to sit on the railings mot one of the balconies and stargaze. The sight of thousands of stars would never grow old. Two of my lives were spent near cities, so stars were never so easy to see.

Half an hour after midnight I questioned myself on why I had to choose three in the morning. If Hooter delivered the letter by midnight that meant he already saw the letter. I imagined it didn't take that long to make a decision. Although he also needed to make his way from the dungeons to the Astronomy tower,and that would take some time. I would've chosen somewhere closer to the dungeons, but I didn't think an abandoned classroom offered as much privacy as the tower did.

Half an hour later, one in the morning, I finally heard footsteps. Staying seated on the railing I cast a quick notice-me-not charm. While I expected Severus that didn't mean another person would decide to wander to the Astronomy tower tonight. One of them may even be a prefect, and I wasn't in the mood for getting a detention.

My uncertainty vanished when I spotted the familiar crooked nose and neck length hair. He had a mask of suspicion as he looked around the room.

"I wasn't sure you would come." Removing the charm I swung one leg over then the other so I was facing the room.

Severus' eyes darted to mine, and he sneered. "I've yet to decide if I want to stay." Despite his words he slowly walked through the room towards me. "This could be a trap."

I snorted. "A trap for what?"

His eyebrow rose. "You could be looking for retaliation."

He stopped three feet away from me. I examined him now that I could see him better with the moonlight. "Against what?"

His other eyebrow rose. "For calling you a…mudblood."

For a second I thought I heard something shift in the room. I quickly looked around, but when I saw nothing I returned my attention to Severus. "While that is part of what I want to talk to you about, I'm not planning any sort of 'retaliation'." Sitting on the railing for so long made my butt numb, so I slid off to lean against the rail.

Severus didn't move. "Then what are you planning?"

"I wanted to make sure you knew I still consider you my friend." I registered the brief flash of surprise, but I ignored it so I could continue. "If friend is too strong of a word then maybe colleague, or acquaintance."

"You would be willing to…interact with me even after what I said?" Severus watched me carefully through guarded eyes.

"Of course. All you did was call me one bad word; it's not like it's the end of the world."

He smiled bitterly. "Lily certainly thinks so."

I rolled my eyes. "You guys have been friends for years. If she's throwing all of that away over one remark then it obviously wasn't worth much."

Severus sneered angrily. "You would lecture me on friendship when you've butchered your own."

Pain tore through my heart and I grimaced. "Touché, Severus." I looked down at the ground to pull my thoughts together. "It's not like I wanted it to end." I snorted and smiled at him ruefully. "I'm sort of like you right now, actually."

"Oh?" His eyebrows rose. "Do tell."

"Well," I looked at him thoughtfully before deciding I could tell him, "I know what happened on that full moon." My words caused him to stiffen. Knowing we were on the same page I continued in a soft voice. "We argued about it that morning. I told him what an idiot he was, and that I wanted him to apologize to you for it."

Severus scoffed disdainfully. "As if that…that _mutt_ would ever apologize to a 'slimy snake'."

My eyebrows rose in alarm. "Mutt?"

He huffed and glared off to the side. "Black is nothing but an untrained dog."

I chuckled in relief. For a moment I thought he knew Sirius was an animagus. "I'll have to agree. I would say he is loyal like a dog too except, well, our friendship crashed and burned because he's too prideful to apologize."

"Your friendship with him ended because of me?" He looked a little surprised at that.

I tilted my head. "That and I was a little too stubborn on the issue." I sighed fondly but also sadly. "Truth is I forgave him a long time ago. Never can stay mad at him for very long. I was just waiting for him to say two measly little words."

Severus huffed, an amused sound. He walked to my right an leaned against the railing to look out over the grounds. "To be fair you were asking to apologize to his most hated rival."

I turned around to copy his stance. "Oh? Am I hearing Severus Snape defend Sirius Black?"

He sneered. "Do not make me throw up."

My chest rumbled with quiet laughter. It slowly tapered off until the two of us were left in silence. We stared off into the distance for several moments before I continued quietly. "It's alright if you don't want to associate with me anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in Slytherin has finally accepted you now that they know you've dropped your mudblood friends."

The word caused a minute flinch. "Maybe that word does not bother you, but I'm afraid it marks the end of the only relationship that ever mattered to me."

Hearing such honest words made me bit at the inside of my cheek. "Apologies."

Severus went on. "I will not deny the fact my house is much more accepting of me now that word has spread of our ended relationship."

I looked at him thoughtfully. "Does this mean we won't continue to talk with one another?" I waited for him to look me in the eye before I continued. "I know Lily was always the reason we would ever see each other, but that doesn't have to mean we can't talk at all. Honestly the choice is entirely yours."

His lips thinned. "We are not close, nor have we ever been."

"And I know that." I licked my lips as I thought of what I could say next. "I think I'm trying to offer you my friendship. Obviously it won't be very deep, like yours was with lily and mine with Sirius, but it would still be friendship. Something honest. Not like that crap in Slytherin where it's all about making allies and a favor for a favor."

"You want something…sentimental."

I scoffed. "Well you don't have to sound so disgusted by it." Shaking my head I looked up at the starry sky. "I guess it wouldn't be smart for either of us. With Voldemort after me–for God knows what–and you being a direct link to the Slytherins the man would have easy access to me."

"More so than he has already?"

I looked at him in surprise and he stared back challengingly. "How do you–no, never mind. Some Death Eater has probably asked you to approach me in the past." Severus stared blankly back, not giving anything away. "Strangely enough you didn't. I would think getting to me would get you a high reward."

"At the time I did not think it was worth it. Things have since changed."

I thought of Lily. My friendship with her must have done something to stop him from confronting me with whatever scheme the Slytherins were concocting. "And here I am, offering you a sure way into the Death Eater ranks." I snorted. "Joining Voldemort would be a stupid thing to do."

"Really?"

He sounded almost genuinely curious. Maybe he really wanted to hear my reasoning, but I didn't think that was it. So all I said was, "Yes."

When I said nothing more Severus pushed himself away from the railing. "I am grateful for your offer of friendship, Palmer. I may have to accept just to see the look on your mutts face when he sees you chose a friendship with me over him."

The gleeful look in his eye made me shake my head. "I'm afraid that wouldn't matter much." Swallowing thickly I decided to get it off my chest, even if it was to a Slytherin. "Despite everything that's happened I love that boy. I would continue to be friends with him in a heartbeat, I just don't know how we're supposed to reconcile."

Severus' eyebrows shot up. "You love Black? As in…more than friends?"

I huffed and shifted uncomfortably. "Yes. If you say anything I'm going to tell everybody about Lily."

His eyes widened before narrowing. "Agreed." With a final nod he spun around and stalked out of the tower.

Once he was out of sight I rubbed my hands over my face. Sighing tiredly I wondered if Severus decided to stay in touch with me or not. I wouldn't know until the next time we spoke, and I had no idea when that would be.

After I left the Astronomy tower to go to my dorm room two dumbstruck boys still stood in their place, hidden beneath an invisibility cloak.

James turned his head to look at his stunned friend. "You messed up big time, Padfoot."

Sirius could only nod helplessly. My admittance of loving him still echoing through his mind, driving out all other thoughts.

"On the plus side we know she loves you back?"

Sirius growled and shoved his friend away. James tripped to the ground with a yelp, but Sirius ignored him. Never in his wildest dreams did he think I would say I loved him. He's loved me since around third year, but never said anything because he didn't want it to ruin our friendship. Figures he would find a different way to fuck everything up.

Sirius buried his face in hands and uttered a pained groan. "I really messed up Prongs."

James nodded from his spot on the floor. "Yes, you did. Now what are you gonna do about it?"

The two of them stayed there, silently thinking of how to answer such a heavy question. Eventually James sighed. "Let's go back to the dorm. We can think of something on the train. Then Remus can help you figure out a way to beg and plead your way back into her life. Once you two are friends again, and I mean as close as you were before, then we can get you two on a date."


	50. Chapter 50

Staring unseeingly out the compartment window my fidgeting hands were the only sign of my nerves. Summer break starts today, but the thought of three months alone filled me with dread. While I'm usually alone in the manor anyway I had friends to owl. Now I was short four.

Memories of last summer flitted through my mind. Remus was so happy to have some place to go for the full moon. His parents' house didn't offer much room for a werewolf to run about. I was more than willing to let him come over again, but I didn't know if he knew that.

"Alex?"

I looked at Beth across the compartment. "Yeah?"

Her eyebrows were furrowed worriedly. "Are you alright? You seem a little…distracted."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Just thinking."

She hummed. "Anything I can help with?"

Pursing my lips I looked back out the window. "I don't think so."

This time Christy spoke up. "Well there must be something you can do to stop looking so depressed."

Chewing the inside of my cheek I nodded slowly. "Yeah." Standing up I looked at the three girls. "I'll be right back, okay?"

They nodded and waved me out of the compartment. I stood outside the door for a brief moment to gather my thoughts before I set off. Like most friend groups on the train The Marauders have a compartment that they claimed as "theirs". It still took about five minutes to get there.

When I did I knocked lightly on the glass window before pushing it open. I was greeted by four grinning faces, obviously messing around before I arrived. Once my appearance registered the looks were replaced with uncertainty, and I noticed James flicking his hazel eyes at Sirius.

I cleared my throat and gave them all a hesitant smile before focusing on Remus. "I just came to let you know you're welcome to come over for your furry little problem." Taking a deep breath I looked at the other boys to make eye contact. "You're all welcome. Even outside of the full moons."

Peter and Sirius didn't seem to know how to answer, but Remus saw the olive branch for what it was. "Thank you, Alex, it means a lot. If you're really okay with it then I would love to come over."

James picked up on it as well. "We would all love too."

With one last small but genuine smile, I closed the door to their compartment. The shade was drawn over the windows so I was free to sigh in relief without them seeing. I turned to jog down the train and rejoin Christy, Beth, and Eliza for the remainder of the ride.

They were obviously curious to know what I did. Beth tried asking me, but I evaded the question and changed topics. After that they left it alone, and for that I was grateful. I didn't want them to worry about whether or not I was ready to face Sirius and the other Marauders.

On the platform we waved each other away with promises to write. When they left with their families I looked around the platform to see everybody's smiling faces. All of them happy to return home for the two and a half month break.

One boy I saw didn't seem to share the same excitement. He was looking around the platform for someone, his parents maybe, when his eyes found mine. I gave a nod of acknowledgment and Severus returned it.

Tightening the grip I had on my trunk I called for Mandy. As always she popped into existence right next to me with a ready smile. "Yes Mistress?"

"Is everything at home okay?"

Holding out my hand Mandy automatically took it. She reassured me everything at the manor was in top condition. I trusted her words and let her take us from the platform to me master bedroom.

Barney and Tasha looked over at the pop sound Mandy and I made on our arrival. They've become so used to the sound by now that it no longer startles them, but when they saw me they immediately scrambled off the floor and bowled me over. I was laughing so hard it made fighting them off of me event harder.

"Mandy you–ah!" I shoved Tasha away from my face, "You can go now. And you remember those boys that stayed over last time?"

She nodded. "Masters James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter."

"They might be coming over again at some point this summer, so make sure their rooms are prepared." Mandy bowed in agreement and popped away.

Shoving the dogs off of me I situated my trunk on my bed to begin unpacking it. I worked at a slow pace. The entire time I wondered what I would do afterwards. Homework was one option, but a temporary one.

An answer didn't hit me until I finished putting my school books away in the study. I remembered working with Madam Rosmerta the summer my mother died. It was a good way to spend my free time.

Rolling the idea around in my head I pulled out a pen, some parchment, and my Charms textbooks. I wrote out my introduction while thinking about what job I could get. Applying for The Three Broomsticks was always an option. The question remained on whether or not I wanted to work in the magical world.

I briefly considered a tutoring job in the mundane world, but decided against it. In my mind it's been decades since I've touched a math book. Arithmacy was on a completely different level from mundane algebra.

My thoughts drifted as I finished my essay with a flourish. Checking the time I realized I spent three hours working on the essay. No doubt my wandering thoughts were the reason it took so long to write a rather simple essay. I opened the drawer on my left to put the finished essay inside. I would leave any homework I do in there until it's time to pack up for the school year.

Mandy popped in like I expected her to. "Dinner be ready Mistress."

Nodding my head I replied, "Thank you, Mandy. I'll make my way down there." She disappeared from the room as I stood from my desk. As I made my way to the dining room where a nice plate of steak, asparagus, and macaroni waited for me, I thought about what I could do for a job.

At the moment I was leaning towards a mundane job. Maybe in a music store. Its been a while since I used my guitar. Teaching would have been one way to connect to my first life, but going so long without practicing mundane schooling I couldn't be sure of my ability to teach a mundane. And I was good with magic, but I didn't feel comfortable enough with it to teach others.

Did they even have magical tutors?

I did know the Wizarding World had weird music. Not bad, but nothing I'd ever heard before. There were some muggle songs in this time that I vaguely remember hearing in my first life.

Taking my time to finish my dinner I called Mandy to let her know I was done. She took the plate away and I left to go to the owlery. The large tower only had one occupant. I felt a smidge of guilt for the old bird. Now that I thought about it both Hooter and Barney were getting old. Barney displayed it just that afternoon when he was slower to get off the floor and tackle me.

I gave a low whistle. Hooter hooted in response and glided down from his perch near an open window. He landed on my outstretched arm and looked at me with hooded eyes.

I sighed and dragged my fingers through his feathers. "First dad, then mom. Then Sirius, but hopefully I'll fix that this summer." Hooter continued to stare at me with his tired yellow eyes. "Now you and Barney are gonna leave me. Not on purpose, I know, but you're still going to a place I can't follow."

Pursing my lips in thought I slowly walked back in the direction of my office. "I think Tasha and Barney will be my last dogs. Don't get me wrong I love dogs, but thinking about those two eventually dying," I shook my head, "it hurts.

"Owls on the other hand, I always gonna need you. Merlin forbid wizards manage text messaging. It doesn't even have to involve technology. We're magic for Merlins sake!" I looked at Hooter imploringly and he hooted at me as a mock answer. "God I need to get out of this house. I'm talking to animals!"

Pushing open the door to my bedroom I opened one of the windows and moved into the study. I put my arm down so Hooter could hop onto the desk. He waited patiently as I wrote quick letters of hello for Lily, Christy, Beth, and Eliza. I hesitated slightly before writing one last letter.

 _Remus,_

 _I hope your summer is off to a good start. I just wanted to let you know I'll send Dash the morning before the full moon. He'll bring you here if you decide to come, and if you decline–which is fine–then just send him right back._

 _With love,_

 _Alex_

Sealing the note in an envelope I wrote Remus' name on the back.

Stacking each one I held them out for Hooter to take in his beak. There were too many to just tie to his foot. Maybe I really should get another owl. Five people was a lot for one owl to take on. "Please bring these to Lily, Christy, Beth,mEliza, and Remus."

Hooter immediately snapped up the letters. He took off towards the door to go into the master bedroom to use the window I opened for him.

Sighing tiredly I leaned back in the office chair and set my feet onto the desk. I leaned my elbow on the armrest to prop up my head. I spent some time thinking over my revelation of Hooter and Barney getting older, what sort of job I would get and how, then when I finished I decided to pull out my transfiguration homework to focus my mind on something else.


	51. Chapter 51

The first full moon of the break would occur the following day. I called Suller, Dash, Poppet, and Klaus to my office. Klaus definitely didn't mention his strong feelings toward mundane-borns like he used to. Unfortunately just because he didn't say anything didn't mean he didn't feel it.

Like I told Remus in my letter I sent Dash to collect him. The I sent Suller to get James, Poppet to Sirius, and Klaus for Peter. The elves were gone for half an hour. By the time one of them returned I'd made my way to the library to read some of the books stashed there.

Dash returned first. Holding onto his hand was a pale Remus. When we made eye contact we smiled. I set the book aside and got up to give him a hug. "It's good to see you, Remus. How are you feeling?"

I pulled away and Remus shrugged. "I've been better." He bit his lip uncertainly before asking, "Will it just be us two?"

"I sent Suller, Klaus, and Poppet to get the other Marauders. I'm not sure if they'll come since I didn't send a letter to warn them." I looked at Dash. "Thank you for getting Remus. Please take his trunk to his room." With a bow he grabbed said trunk and popped away.

James and Sirius arrived together. Apparently Sirius had been at Potter manor when my elves showed up. Peter came immediately after. He almost didn't because his mother was getting older. She needed someone to take care of her a more often then not.

The five of us sat down for lunch when James awkwardly cleared his throat. "I'm not sure if Sirius told you, but he ran away from home."

I blinked rapidly in surprise. "He did not." When I looked at Sirius he had his head ducked over his plate. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "It happened a week ago, and I wasn't sure if you would be okay with me, um, talking with you."

Sighing sadly I called his name until he connected his grey eyes with my blue. "We're still friends, Sirius. At least I think so. We just had our first large fight that went on for far too long. We should probably talk about it." He groaned, but the table seemed to have lost a heavy atmosphere nobody realized was there.

While Remus disappeared in the library and James and Peter messed around in the sitting room, I brought Sirius to my office for that talk. I sat behind the desk while he awkwardly in front of it. After a couple silent minutes I sighed and stood up.

"I'll start." He looked at me gratefully and I leaned my hands against the surface of the desk. "I'm sorry for everything. For yelling at you, and not talking to you for months. This could have been resolved so long ago but I'm a stubborn idiot." I closed my eyes and pressed my hands against them.

Like that I couldn't see Sirius slowly come around the desk to wrap a cautious arm around my shoulders. It startled me at first, but I quickly folded into his side.

"I'm sorry too." Sirius' warm breath fanned over the top of my head. "I should've apologized like you'd told me to, but like the bloody fool I am I didn't. This whole mess is my fault."

With a sigh close to contentment I turned my body so we could wrap both our arms around each other. With our heights I could easily rest my head beneath his chin. A fact Sirius took advantage of.

"I suppose this is both our fault. We each messed up in our own way and didn't do anything to fix it."

I felt his chest hum beneath my ear. "Mostly my fault." It earned a weak chuckle. "Can you ever forgive me?"

My arms tightened around him. "I'm not sure, but I would certainly like to move past this."

"I can certainly agree with that." He removed his chin from on top of my head and replaced it with his forehead.

We stood in each other's embrace for several minutes. The silence between us no longer felt awkward, instead it was content. Our friendship had a bit of a black mark on it, but in time it would fade away.

My heart suddenly ached at the thought of having Sirius so close, yet far enough that I could never be with him romantically. Realizing that had me pulling from the hug and changing topics. "What's this about you running away?"

Sirius grimaced. "You know what my family is like. This summer I've finally had enough. My mother…well, she tried to force me into behaving as a 'proper Black should'. No wasn't the right choice, but I chose it anyway. She…punished me, and I ran to the Potter's. They took me in."

I cringed when he said "punish". He definitely didn't mean being grounded. More along the lines of corporal punishment. Probably done with dark magic. "You're welcome to stay here whenever you want. I certainly have the room for it."

I smiled and Sirius barked out a laugh. "I can't argue with that. I'll send you a letter sometime."

The two of us left the office with light hearts. I didn't realize Sirius knew I loved him. Thoughts of asking me out raced through his mind while I never would have imagined he'd return those feelings.

I remained obvious to the fact the boys all knew my feelings for Sirius. When we all went to be for the night the four boys held a meeting in Remus' room while I slept in the master bedroom.

James started off the meeting by declaring, "We need to get them together."

Remus rolled his eyes. "They just apologized to each other. Alex needs time to get over that whole mess before getting into a relationship."

Sirius sighed sadly. "How long will that be?"

"It can't be that long." Peter said dismissively. "You guys worked it out and she already loves you. Just tell her you love her back."

"You don't know a thing about girls, Wormtail." James stated.

Sirius backed him up. "They remember things and hold them over your head for a long time. Alex said she didn't forgive me for what happened, but she'd like to move past it."

"She needs time so she can heal from your fight." Remus said thoughtfully. "It was a pretty bad argument, even though I think her anger was justified."

"Gee thanks." Sirius rolled his eyes, but internally he couldn't help but agree.

James broke in loudly. "I think, when the time comes, you should confess your love during dinner."

"I've learned from you and Lily that that's the last thing I should do." Sirius replied wryly.

Indignant, the messy haired boy tackled Sirius onto the bed. Remus rolled his eyes at the wrestling boys while Peter laughed. Soon enough Remus forced them all out so he could sleep and recover as much strength as he could for the full moon. Sirius, James and Peter all followed his lead.

The next day was quiet between the five of us. Knowing the full moon would be that night made Remus edgy. The rest of us didn't want to bother him any further. He seemed to appreciate the quiet.

After dinner we went into the woods surrounding the property. While Remus sat in wait for the full moon to take effect, Sirius shifted into Padfoot, James into Prongs, and Peter into Wormtail. Seeing the three in their animal forms reminded me of what else I'd missed while Sirius and I had been on the outs.

When I shifted into my bear form I padded over to Padfoot and nudged his side with my nose. He returned the gesture and we sat back and watched with sad eyes as the painful change took over our gentle friends body.

All five of us slept through the day once the full moon was over. It wasn't until the day after that everybody dragged themselves to the dining room to eat as a group.

After several minutes silence I confessed, "I think I want a tattoo."

The four boys stopped eating to look at me in varying degrees of surprise. Peter seemed the most surprised. "Why?"

I moved my food around my plate thoughtfully. "I was thinking about it yesterday. I want to get something in memory of all of us." Looking around the table I met each of their eyes with a smile. "We may have hard time, but we get through them. I'd like to think the five of us will always stick together. Even after we finish Hogwarts."

James nodded. "You're right. Do you think we should get matching tattoo's?"

I blinked rapidly from shock. "Oh. I didn't mean you guys had to get any."

"I've still got those things you gave me for getting muggle tattoos!" Sirius interjected excitedly. "I've wanted to use them for ages."

"I can't get mine from the mundane world because my emancipation only applies to the magical world. I'd have to wait until next year to get it, and I'm not sure if I want to wait or not."

Peter shuddered. "I don't like needles. Don't tattoo's hurt?"

Remus pursed his lips. "I think it depends on where you get them on your body."

"I think that should match." Sirius shoveled some eggs into his mouth after his declaration.

I shrugged. "I'm not opposed to the idea."

"Mum might not let me get one," Remus said regretfully.

James waved off his concerns. "Ask your dad then. He's cool."

"I'd say don't tell them at all, but you have to be at least seventeen to get a magical tattoo and eighteen for a mundane one."

Sirius raised his eyebrows at me. "Telling him to go against his parents, Switch? I'm proud of you."

Laughing lightly I smiled down at my breakfast. "I think we should get tattoos from the magical world. We'll get mundane tattoos later."

"The tattoo could just say 'The Marauders'." We all looked at Peter who was gazing at the far wall thoughtfully. "Then we could have everyone's animal form but your own running around the letters. Like I would have Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, and Swift while James has Moony, Padfoot, Swift and my rat form on him."

Peter noticed all of us staring at him and he blushed. He quickly looked down at his nearly empty plate and mumbled, "Just a suggestion."

I nodded slowly with a thoughtful frown. "I kind of like the idea."

Remus nodded. "Me too. What about you guys?"

Sirius and James looked at each other and communicated through small facial expressions. "I'm cool with it."

James nodded. "Yeah. And if anyone thinks of another idea share it. Then we'll have a couple to chose from, or add it to Peter's idea."

Peter's blush didn't fade at all until breakfast was over. Knowing we all appreciated one of his ideas made him feel extremely proud of himself.

The tattoo idea didn't come up again for the rest of the day. After lunch all the boys left, and I was alone in Fox Manor with the elves and my legs for company.


	52. Chapter 52

Summer ended and for each full moon the five of us got together and spent the night with Remus. Other than that nobody visited my Manor. I would go out to see Lily or Christy while sending letter to everybody else. At the end of summer I got a surprise letter and I waited until the train back to school to share the news.

I sat with The Marauders the whole way back. It's how I found out Remus got a Prefect badge. Once the boys finished teasing him I pulled out my letter. "Guess what guys?"

When the four of them focused on me I pulled out my own little badge. "Remus isn't the only Prefect."

Peter and I laughed while the James and Sirius teased me and Remus congratulated me. The two of us pinned on our badges and left the compartment for the Prefect meeting. It didn't last the entire train ride, but Horace Slughorn took his time handing out the timetables and informing the new Prefects what would be expected of us. A lot of glances were thrown our way when responsibilities were mentioned.

Lily apparently got a badge as well. She seemed a little unsure about Remus since he was an honorary Marauder. I assured her about my intentions to take my role as Prefect seriously. Remus promised as well, but I knew Sirius and James would manage to rope him into all sorts of mischief.

My new duties included making sure the first years settled in okay. For the first week I showed them the route from Ravenclaw tower to the Great Hall. That entire time I slept in my dorm room instead of with The Marauders. Sirius pouted about it, but I threatened to stop eating meals with them too if he kept it up. It effectively stopped him.

The rekindled relationship between me and the Marauders didn't go unnoticed. Christy, Beth, and Eliza all asked me for details. I told them the four of them visited over the summer so I could talk with Sirius. We came to an understanding and now our friendship is on the mend.

During the second week of school Filius Flitwick called each of his sixth years, one by one, to talk with him about our future careers. I had no idea what I wanted to be, but one occupation always intrigued me.

"What do Unspeakable's do?"

Filius made a squeak when he heard the name. "You want to be an Unspeakable?" His voice was full of surprise.

"It's the only job that really stood out," I defended. "This summer I tried looking for jobs in the magical world, but none of them appealed to me."

He pursed his lips and squinted at me thoughtfully. "I believe you would be good for the job. You would need to take more classes, and get no less than an Exceeds Expectations in all of them. You'd be studying some time after Hogwarts as well. Probably under the tutelage of another Unspeakable."

I hummed thoughtfully. "Do you know what they do, though?"

"Nobody but you and the head Unspeakable knows your true job."

"I think I'd like to try and be an Unspeakable. If I can't keep my grades up I'll talk to you about other jobs opportunities."

Filius nodded. "I think that's a smart plan. I'll give you your new schedule in the next few days."

While walking out of his classroom Filius called my name. When I turned around he had a deadly serious face. "You mustn't tell anybody. Even if it doesn't work out, nobody knows an Unspeakable's identity. Not friends or even family."

After giving him my word I made sure not to let the information out. James and Sirius openly claimed their dreams of becoming Aurors. Remus wistfully talked about working at Saint Mungos, but his condition meant he wouldn't be able to hold down a job. Peter didn't know what to do. He'd planned on being an Auror, but his grade in potions last year prevented it.

I gave them a cover story about not being too sure on what I wanted. Possibly even working in the mundane world. The idea fascinated James and Sirius to no end.

The day Sirius turned seventeen he decided it was time to get our tattoos. I amusedly pointed out the rest of us were still sixteen. He may have reached the legal age to get a magical tattoo without parent permission, but the rest of us had to wait. We'd have to wait until Peter's birthday in June unless he could convince his mother to say yes.

In the beginning of the year the most exciting thing to happen was my changed schedule. It turns out there's an apparition class for sixth and seventh years. Once I turned seventeen I could get my apparition license from the Ministry.

I had to take every class except for divination, astronomy, and muggle studies. No free period this year. All of my friends wondered about my suddenly busy schedule. Ten classes meant I had a lot of homework. Add on my Prefect duties and the apparition class and I'm ready to end it all.

I don't of course. Instead I force myself to work on my homework during any free time I have. Being able to stay up late at night has thankfully ingrained itself in my biological clock after so many years of reading into early morning hours.

Sirius complained over my sudden distance from all of them. Remus at least looked a little understanding of my situation. He's taking a lot of classes to. James and Peter agrees with Sirius, but aren't as vocal about it.

An added event in my routine happened when a barn owl dropped mail onto my breakfast plate. I watched the unfamiliar owl fly off before picking up the envelope. Edmund asked who it was from, but I had no answer for him. I didn't know anybody outside of Hogwarts.

With unsure fingers I ripped open the flap and pulled out a single piece of parchment. The words "I accept" were written in loopy handwriting with a signature of S.S. Once I saw the initials I turned to glance at the Slytherin table. My eyes met black irises and I nodded minutely. He blinked in response and returned to his breakfast.

Sirius confronted me about it during lunch that same day. The other Marauders were trying not to show how their interest in my answer.

I huffed. "It's none of your business. As shocking as it is I do have a life outside of you four."

James snorted. "All you do is homework. That's not much of a life."

Remus elbowed him while Sirius glared. I grimaced because I knew it was technically true. "I'll talk to you guys later." When walking away from the table I heard the thump of someone getting hit upside the head. It made me feel a little better.

By the time I made it to my dorm that night I no longer felt the sting of James' comment. It helped to have Severus' letter to distract me. While he agreed to remain in an acquaintanceship with me, I figured we both needed to know how this would work. So I wrote him a letter letting him know I would meet with him after dinner the next day.

That night after my Prefect duties I went to the owlery and used a school owl to send the letter. Hooter would be recognized by The Marauders, and possibly anyone else who's paid close attention.

At breakfast I sat facing the Slytherin table. When the mail came I did my best not to stare at Severus as the owl dropped the letter onto his plate. He opened it casually and after reading it nodded his head.

Sirius tried to dig for information on who sent me the letter. I remained firm about my right for privacy until Remus finally told him to shut up. He pouted for a couple minutes before moving on to winter break topics. All the Marauders were going home and hanging out at James' place for several of those days.

When they heard my plan to stay in the castle James and Sirius ganged up on me. According to them it was imperative students take advantage of our two weeks of freedom. Staying in the castle was apparently the opposite of that.

I pushed thoughts of winter break aside when I met with Severus. I led him to the Kitchens in silence. We needed somewhere private to talk,mans even though there were elves I didn't want to show him the Room of Requirement.

Once the elves stopped fussing over us I turned my body so I faced Severus. "How should we work this acquaintance thing out?"

His lips thinned. "I believe you know several members of the Slytherin house are tied to the Dark Lord." I nodded and he continued. "My presence is accepted more after last year. Becoming friends with another mudblood, no matter what the relationship would not endear me to them."

I slowly shook my head from side to side. "From the sounds of it you've integrated yourself fairly well. Do you call all mundane-borns mudbloods?"

"Fitting in is the only way to survive."

With that depressing statement I cleared my throat. "Please try to refrain from calling me a mudblood. At least while alone."

Severus inclined his head. "That is acceptable."

"I guess from this meeting I want to let you know I am here for you. If there's anything you want to talk about or need help with you can come to me."

He rose an eyebrow. "Oh? For that level of trust I would need some sort of assurance you won't tell anybody my secrets."

My eyebrows furrowed. "Why would I tell anybody your secrets?"

"Personal gain," Severus said frankly.

I huffed incredulously. "Well I don't see why I would tell people your secrets, but I'm not sure what you want me to do. A contract of some sort?"

He actually nodded. "A magical binding contract should suffice."

"Okay, whoa whoa whoa. Whoa." I held up my hands. "I'm not making some binding contract because you're afraid I can't keep my mouth shut. Do you honestly believe I can't keep secrets? Do you know how many I have?"

Severus rose an interested eyebrow. "From the sounds of it it's a lot."

Rolling my eyes I continued. "Maybe, if we do exchange secrets, we can ask the other person to make some sort of magical vow to never share it without express permission."

"We'll worry about it later." With that our meeting ended and we didn't communicate until after winter break.

I ended up listening to the boys and went home for break. The few days before Christmas were spent at my manor finishing up homework. After Christmas James sent an elf with instructions to bring me to Potter manor. After packing my trunk the elf, Holly, took me to the manor.

All the Marauders were there, along with the elder Potters. I thanked them for letting me stay before the boys dragged me on a huge tour.

For the remaining four days of break I noticed something different. I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't so aware of Sirius' presence. As it was I felt him constantly brush against me, or come up with some excuse to be near me. I didn't want to read too far into it and think he was doing it because he liked me, but that's what I wanted the reason to be. I tried to roll with it and not show how much it affected me. I definitely didn't discourage it.

When we returned to Hogwarts the extra touching didn't stop. I was still busy with school work, but Sirius would give any excuse to brush his fingers against my hand or bump shoulders during classes or lunch.

The first person to remark on it was, surprisingly, Severus.

He approached me during my Prefect rounds. He had been leaning against the wall as if waiting for me to arrive. "You need to be careful."

My eyebrows rose. "If you give me a good explain action I won't give you detention for being out after hours."

Severus' lips twitched into a smirk. He pushed himself off the wall to walk beside me. "What I say needs to stay between us."

I sighed and pulled out my wand. "What should I say? I swear on my magic everything you tell me tonight will stay between us until you tell me otherwise?"

He thought the words over before nodding. "That will work."

Clearing my throat I held my wand in my right hand and recited the oath. The tip of my wand flashed a white light once I finished speaking, and I felt warmth envelope my body. "Alright, spill."

"They want to recruit you into the ranks."

My heart skipped a beat before I got it under my control. "That's no surprise to me."

Severus spun so his body blocked me from walking. "You know?" His voice held so much surprise. It may be the most emotion I've seen on his features.

"Yeah. Didn't you?" I looked him up and down as if his stance would answer me. "I thought all Slytherins knew."

"No, only those..." He sighed through his nose. "Not all Slytherins know."

Thinking over his first sentence my eyes slowly widened with dawning horror. "Severus, who are the only ones who know?"

He narrowed his eyes before turning around and striding down the corridor. This time it was my turn to block him off. "Answer me, Severus! The only ones who know. Are they the same ones who want to recruit me?"

I could see him grinding his teeth before growling. "They were ordered to find recruits. They've been keeping an eye on you since your third year when you showed promise of being a powerful witch."

"Okay." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "The only ones who know are...the recruiters. So how do you know?" When he just stared at me I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "Severus, _how do you know_?" I saw his left fist clench and made a noise similar to a pain filled whine. "Why?"

Severus glared at me. "I don't have to explain myself to you." When he tried to walk around me I grabbed his arm.

I tightened my grip when he tried to keep walking. "Wait, Severus. I just need to ask. Did you do this because you want to?"

Narrowing his eyes he nodded once.

Breathing shakily I did my best to swallow a lump in my throat. "I assume this is because of loyalty towards Him and His ideas, but would you allow me one day, just one, to explain why you made the biggest mistake of your life?"

At first he said nothing. I was worried he wouldn't give me the chance, and I didn't think I could remain friends with him when I knew Voldemort wanted me as one of his Death Eaters. There could be consequences for him if and when Voldemort found out about our closeish relationship.

Severus gave me a spark of hope when he nodded his head almost imperceptibly. I didn't stop him when he began walking down the corridor. When he disappeared from view I continued my Prefect rounds before going to bed.


	53. Chapter 53

Convincing Severus his decision to become a Death Eater was the worst would be harder than I originally thought. Part of it was because I planned to kill Voldemort some time in the future. Even then I hadn't put much planning into his death, and now that I'm thinking about it I feel scared out of my mind.

I could make him take the same vow I gave him. How he wouldn't be able to tell anyone without my express permission. I'd have to include mentally showing someone since Voldemort was supposed to be an accomplished legillimens. I only felt confident enough to tell Severus about my plan because he's an occlumens. At least when he's an adult.

Using another's school owl I sent him a letter to meet me in the Kitchens at two in the morning. By then my Prefect rounds would be over, and I told the Marauders during dinner I had a lot of homework I needed to catch up in so I'd be staying in my room that night. Not a complete lie since I did have a ton of work. I just wouldn't be doing any of it.

At the end of my rounds I did my best to seem casual while trying to get to the kitchens as fast as possible. When I got there only about five elves were still working. Sitting at one of the side tables was the hunched over figure of Severus Snape.

The door clicked shut behind me. It caught the attention of everyone in the room, and while the elves excitedly approached me Severus stayed in his seat with dark calculating eyes.

I smiled at the elves tiredly. "Would you guys mind giving Mr. Snape and me a little privacy?"

They all nodded excitedly, and I gave them one last smile before sitting on the seat directly next to Severus. "Thank you for meeting with me."

He flicked his wrist and his wand immediately jumped into his hand. I watched him create a dome around us that caused our surroundings to blur. When he stopped casting the dome became invisible. "Silencing spell."

I cleared my throat and nodded slowly. "Right. Probably for the best." Taking a deep, shaky break I looked him in the eye. I hoped my expression conveyed how serious I felt, because nothing has frightened me more than the possibility of this aquaintanceship backfiring. "We need to take the most binding vow we can think of. What I'm going to tell you _cannot_ be found out by anyone else under _any circumstances_."

Severus rose a black eyebrow. "You came here to try and talk me out of my decisions."

I scoffed. "As if your decision isn't already deadly. What I want to talk about would just make it infinitely more painful." I could tell he was intrigued by what I was saying, but didn't know if it would be worth it. "I suppose there is one thing I can tell you that doesn't need to be secretive."

"What?" His voice dripped with doubt.

I could only smile sadly. "Lily would never forgive you if she found out."

Severus straightened in his seat and managed to become more closed off. "Why should I care about a mudblood?"

My eyes widened. "Wow." I laughed a little in disbelief. "It's that word, right there, that completely broke your friendship with her. I don't know how saying that could make you guys throw away years of friendship. Did she really mean so little to you?"

Severus' lip curled into a sneer. "Why would I care for her?"

"Because you knew her before Hogwarts," I replied simply. "You two were the best of friends until society hatred finally drove you two apart. Even then you still over her, no?"

The sneer became a snarl. "I didn't come here to talk about pointless friendships. There's no use crying about it."

I sighed. "There is when you still have a chance to mend what you broke." I pressed a hand to his shoulder to prevent him from retorting in anger. "I don't want to argue about this. What happened that day really hurt Lily, but you had a chance to restore that friendship. Now that you're…um…one of His servants, that chance is gone." Even with the silencer I didn't feel comfortable saying Death Eater in the middle of Hogwarts.

My words obviously put Severus in a bad mood. No doubt the other part of my argument would make it worse. "The other thing I wanted to tell you is top secret."

Severus looked a little skeptical, which was understandable. Why would a sixth year Ravenclaw know important information about Voldemort?

I pulled a piece of parchment out of my bag and spread it over the table. Taking out a pen I started writing out a possible vow the two of us could take. I wanted it to be short but not offer loopholes. When I showed it to Severus he took the pen and changed about half of it.

Taking out my wand I held it aloft in my right hand. "I, Alex Palmer, swear on my magic I will not tell (in any capacity such as speaking or mentally showing) another soul, living or dead, about the information given to me between two thirty a.m. to five a.m., unless given express permission. So mote it be."

The top of my wand flashed white, and it felt like a rubber band was being wrapped around my intestines before the feeling immediately disappeared. Severus copied me with some reluctance, and once his wand flashed white I felt anxiety. Even with the vow this information was sensitive. I have to put my complete faith in him and trust he won't let any of this information out. I'm also hoping he'll be too worried about the actions Voldemort would take to keep us quiet.

Looking Severus dead in the eye I said it before I could second guess myself. "I know how to kill Voldemort."

A beat of silence and then Severus, cool level headed Severus Snape, began laughing. Not a small chuckle, but a deep, belly aching laugh. "Kill the Dark Lord?" He scoffed. "You can't kill the Dark Lord. Dumbledore can't even kill him."

"Ah," I held up a finger and gave him a smug look, "but I know something Dumbledore doesn't. Nobody knows about it except for Voldemort and myself."

Severus looked skeptical, and I didn't blame him. "Voldemort accomplished a horribly dark piece of magic that basically made him impossible to kill. I know how to get around it." While I felt comfortable enough telling him about my ambitions I wasn't about to mention horcruxes to anybody.

His eyebrow rose doubtfully. "You want to kill the Dark Lord?"

I pressed my lips together and nodded my head. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but you need to believe me when I say I have a way to kill Voldemort."

Severus had a completely blank expression. "I'm not sure your argument makes much sense."

My eyebrows furrowed. "I'm just trying to tell you I'm going to kill Voldemort, and now you're going to be stuck with a brand on your arm. You could've become a world renown potions master, but instead you threw yourself into a life of servitude."

Severus sneered. "That was a better argument than telling me you plan on killing a dark lord."

He stood up from the bench and began pacing. "You're walking around the school like nothing's wrong, when in reality you're planning murder. You do remember he wants to recruit you. There's no way you would be able to keep him from finding out about your plans."

"You say that as if he'll catch me." I pointed out, deciding not to mention my occlumency.

"The Dark Lord isn't someone you can avoid!" Severus crossed his arms and glared at me down his nose. "I'm the worst person you could have possibly given this information to. Why not tell Dumbledore or your marauding friends?"

I grimaced. "I don't really know Dumbledore enough to trust him with this, and keeping it from my friends protects them."

He scoffed. "Dumbledore is the leader of the light side. He's probably the only person you should have given this information to."

"Dumbledore only sees me as a child. If I told him he would prevent me from helping the cause."

"You're sixteen. That's a child in the Wizarding world."

I chuckled darkly. "That's what you think." Without elaborating I pushed on. It was probably the most information about my past lives I've ever given. "Do you at least get why you shouldn't have joined Him? He's going to ruin your entire life! Now you're stuck licking Voldemort's boots."

Severus snarled down at me. Not liking the height difference I stood up. Unfortunately he still had an inch on me. "You're a fool!" Severus spun around and headed for the door. "You have plans of murdering a dark lord, and out of everybody to tell you chose me!"

"I wasn't going to tell Sirius or the others, it would put them in unnecessary danger!" I chased after him. He didn't look back, but I didn't let it deter me.

"So you'd put me in danger? I guess now I can see how much you really care." Severus scoffed.

"If anything you were the only person I could tell! You're already in deep shit, so you were the best option."

"I'm the worst option!" His voice echoed down the corridor. He swung around to glare at me while I stared back defiantly. "You say I'm in 'deep shit'? Now, because of you, I'm in _deeper shit_."

I'd never heard Severus swear before. It made me stop walking. "Don't you know occlumency?"

His eyes widened before his face went completely blank. "I would appreciate it if you kept your distance from me. There's no point to this…aquaintanceship–"

"Wait, no!" I rushed forward and gripped his robes, but he viciously ripped them away from me.

"Do not touch me." His glower was scarier thanks to the dark surroundings. "You have written both of our death sentences."

"Severus, no, stop, ah!" I grappled with his clothes and forced him to come closer. When I saw my opportunity I placed my hands on his cheeks to hold him still. "Severus."

He glared at me silently. Despite his displeasure he didn't pull away.

"I'm sorry." I let my eyes show how sad I felt about the situation. It's not like I enjoyed being the only one who knew about horcruxes and what would happen in the future if I let things take their original course. "I told you this because I need you to understand how bad this is. The man is completely insane. I'm going to get rid of Him, and when He's gone you'll be stuck with that brand."

"You told me you'll defeat Him as a way to tell me off."

I sighed tiredly. The emotions the topic caused combined with being up so early is the only reason I decided to lean my head against his chest. My arms fell to my sides while Severus just stood stiffly. "I thought letting you know He would die sooner would make you regret it more."

He scoffed. "That's a horrible reason, and I doubt it was the only reason. Bringing up Lily worked just fine."

I grimaced. "It was at first. I was just going to mention I had a plan to kill him, but then I started thinking about it, and I just started worrying. I realized how alone I am with all of it, and since I was going to talk to you, and you would give that vow, I felt like I could sorta trust you with it–" I took a deep breath then kept going, "–and I really needed to get it out there. Stupid or no I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows."

My body was still sagging against Severus, so he had to push me away to make eye contact. "You've obviously spent too much time with Gryffindors. Secrets aren't something to be shared. Especially one like this."

He slowly started backing up and I let him go. "I will keep my vow. If any more stupid ideas come to your mind, owl me and I'll make sure to correct you."

I would have scoffed if I didn't feel so grateful. Despite my years of experience the magical world was something I didn't know how to navigate. He may just be my only real ally when it came to ending Voldemort's reign of terror. "Goodnight Severus."


	54. Chapter 54

The day after my meeting with Severus I noticed the boys sending me odd looks throughout the morning. I didn't get an opportunity to ask them what was wrong until I sat with them at lunch. I thought one of them would bring it up, but they just sat there silently. The silence let me know something was very wrong.

"What's wrong?" I looked at Sirius, but he gave me a blank look before going back to his lunch. My shoulders drooped as I looked from boy to boy, until I stopped at Remus. "Remus?"

My attention made him uncomfortable, but he at least helped me understand what was wrong. "We know what you were really doing last night."

His words made my heart freeze in my chest. Not only did they catch me lying to them, but they found out about my meeting with Severus. Fear for what else they knew settled in my stomach. "And what do you think I was doing?"

Peter huffed. "Not homework."

James hit him on the shoulder while Sirius growled at his plate. "What is wrong with you?" He lifted his grey eyes to glare at me. "Snivellus? What could he possibly offer you?"

I grimaced. "He didn't offer anything, I did." Not that Severus wanted the information I had to give.

"You…" Sirius and James looked at me with wide eyes, and James picked up where Sirius trailed off. "You asked him out?"

It was my turn to look wide eyed. "Good God, is that what you think we talked about? Dating each other?" I couldn't help but laugh at the very thought. "Oh Merlin, no! No, I would never date Severus. He's not really my type." Without permission my eyes drifted over Sirius.

I noticed him relax into his seat. "You're not dating Snivellus?"

I sighed. "No, I'm not dating Severus."

"Then why do you call him by his first name?" Peter pointed his fork at me.

"Because Snivellus is mean and he's somewhat of a friend, so I call him Severus. Besides, I call everybody by their first name." Except the teachers.

"I guess not all hope is lost."

I looked at James oddly while Sirius elbowed his friend in the gut with a hissed, "Shut up!"

Turning my head I met Remus' eyes. "What was that about?"

He smiled secretly before not answering my question. "If you two weren't on a date, then what did you need to talk to him about?"

The other Marauders turned their attention to me. I looked at each of them carefully before shrugging. "It's nothing you would be interested in. I just wanted to know if we would still hang out now that he and Lily were no longer friends."

James and Sirius' eyes darkened at the reminder of Severus calling Lily and I a mudblood. I truly didn't see the big deal with it, seeing the word as just another type of swear word. Though it was like a racial slur, and thinking of it that way made me more uncomfortable with it.

"Why would you want to stay friends with him?" Sirius demanded.

I hummed. "I wouldn't call us friends. More acquaintances really."

I thought they would fight me on having any sort of relations with Severus at all. Instead the boys went back to their food while joking and insulting one another. With no desire for them to start arguing I got up from the table to head for my next class. While waiting for the period to start I though about how Voldemort and his Horcruxes were constantly coming to the forefront of my mind. Maybe it was time to start planning their destruction.

The rest of my day consisted mostly of classes, and with no free period I had to do some of my homework in the Great Hall during dinner. Eliza voiced her opinion. "You're over working yourself. Why don't you take a break?"

I sighed but continued writing. "Because if I take a break I'll fall behind. With the amount of work I'll get in the future I'd never be able to catch up."

"We haven't had a girls night for a month," Beth whined. "Do you think you can get as much done as you can, and then Saturday we can relax and unwind?"

My lips pursed thoughtfully. "I can certainly try. Weekends are usually the best times for me to get my work done." The thought of a relaxation day appealed strongly. "How about Sunday instead? I can spen all of Saturday finishing up my homework, and then Sunday we can go to Hogsmead and shop, then come back to the castle and hang out."

Christy, Beth, and Eliza all started nodding. They ran over plans for what we would do at Hogsmead and afterwards. I stopped listening after they decided Honeydukes would be the first shop we would go to.

I finished my charms essay before dinner ended, making me completely caught up on my work. These were the nights I went with the Marauders to their dorm room. Sirius smiled when he saw me joining them for the walk up to Gryffindor tower. I smiled back, but felt a little disappointed. "I have Prefect rounds tonight, so I might not sleep in your dorm."

Sirius threw an arm around my shoulders. "Don't worry about it, Switch. Any time with you is perfect."

His seemingly offhanded comment surprised a blush onto my cheeks. I smiled while staring straight ahead. "Not as perfect as you, Padfoot." Sneakily moving my arm I shoved my hand into his hair and shook it around.

Sirius yelped and ducked out of my reach. James, Remus, Peter, and I all laughed as the grim animagus ran his hands through his hair to try and fix it. He glared at me the whole time. "What was that for?"

I forced myself to stop laughing, but couldn't stop smiling. "Because I love you so much."

The glare immediately disappeared, replaced with something soft. "I love you too."

I could only blink in shock. That wasn't the first time we've told one another we love each other, but it was always in a playful manner. The way Sirius said it didn't sound like he was joking. The look in his eyes reminded me of my husband from my first life: pure love.

On our way up to the Gryffindor common room I thought about that look. It burned in my mind, making me question whether or not it was real. I'd harbored feelings for Sirius since, what, third year? Maybe fourth. This hint towards my feelings being returned filled me with butterflies. Love had always been a rocky area for me, especially after my life as Édouard. With Sirius being the school playboy I wanted to be sure he would actually be interested in dating me before I tried making a move.

I wasn't afraid of being the one to ask him out first. A lot of girls in Hogwarts–and probably everywhere else–wait for the guy to ask them. I'm not afraid to take the initiative if it means actually getting into a relationship with the person I care deeply for.

Thoughts of a possible relationship with Sirius circled through my mind while we sat in the common room. Sirius and James were talking about some prank with Peter chiming in, and Remus was sitting on the couch with a book in hand. Sometimes I wondered how I didn't fall for Remus instead. We're similar in several aspects, yet I can only ever picture him as a good friend.

Going through my Prefect rounds gave me time to think about what I would do about Sirius. I definitely wanted to go out with him. If that meant I had to try asking him then I would. Determination tinged with fear rose in my chest. I would ask him before the end of the week. My only hope would be that this doesn't ruin our friendship.

While sitting at the Ravenclaw table for breakfast the next morning I contemplated how I would ask him. Most likely somewhere private. His affinity for being surrounded by people would make that difficult, but I could just ask for a private conversation. The other Marauders would eventually find out about it. That didn't bother me since I felt close to all of them.

A tap on my shoulder broke me from my thoughts. Turning around I came face to chest with the very person I was thinking of. "Sirius?"

He grinned charmingly. "Hello Alex." He had his arms behind his back, making me feel suspicious.

"You don't usually come over here for breakfast." I said factually.

"No," Sirius agreed. "I just came over here to ask you a very important question."

I furrowed my eyebrows. Slight worry began filling me, but I pushed it aside. "I'm all ears."

Sirius cleared his throat and looked over his shoulder at James. Once the hazel eyed boy sent a thumbs up Sirius turned back to me. He had a small smile on his face as he brought his arms out in front of him.

Held delicately between his fingers was a red rose. "Alex Palmer, would you be my date to Hogsmead this weekend?"

My eyes widened in complete bafflement. Sure I saw his expression the night before, but I never imagined he would ask me the next day. Perhaps I should've seen this coming since Sirius has always had such a cocky and confident attitude. The longer I stared the more I saw that confidence waver, and that just wouldn't do.

"Thank God," I breathed out. Everyone in the Great Hall watched our exchange in silent anticipation, so they could probably hear me. "I don't have to worry about asking you now."

Slowly reaching out I took the rose from Sirius' hands. I brought it to my nose and inhaled deeply. I wondered where he got it from.

"That's a yes right?"

I looked up to see Sirius staring with a happy but still unsure expression. I laughed and nodded my head. "Of course I'll go out with you!" Scrambling off the bench I threw my arms around his neck while he lifted me into the air by my waist. People were cheering, but I didn't pay them any attention.

When Sirius put me down he set his head on top of mine and kept me wrapped in his arms. "Just to clarify, we're going on a date as a couple, not as friends."

I smiled while warmth filled my chest. "As a couple. And I want to clarify that if this doesn't work out we will still remain the best if friends."

Sirius nodded. "As if anything would ruin it."

"Well…" I trailed off with thoughts of last summer rolling through my head.

He huffed. "Okay, but it all worked out in the end."

I laughed and gave him another hug. I thought about giving him a kiss, but in my eyes the date would be the deciding factor for whether or not I would ever kiss him romantically. As a friend I've kissed his cheek, but after being asked out it would have a different meaning in my eyes.

"I'll sit with you at lunch?" I looked at him expectantly. "Maybe talk about details, unless you want to surprise me."

Sirius grinned. "Maybe I should surprise you."

I groaned, but the smile couldn't be wiped from my face. "Fine. Just no Madam Puddifoot's, please!"

He grimaced. "That's something we can agree on."

I watched him walk over to the other Marauders. From the looks of it they were all congratulating him for asking me out.

When I sat down Christy, Beth, and Eliza all leaned in close. I handed the rose to Eliza, whom was sitting next to me, and bit my lip. "I'm sorry guys. I know we just talked about going to Hogsmead together last night–"

"Don't even worry about it." Beth cut me off.

"Yeah, and besides," Eliza handed the rose to Beth, "you can make it up to us by giving all the details of your date with Sirius Black."

I laughed while the three girls smiled at me. While listening to them tease me my eyes caught Severus Snape's, who was glaring at me from the Slytherin table. I knew he and Sirius were enemies of each other, but I didn't really care. My relationship with Sirius meant more to me than my acquaintanceship with Severus.

Then I remembered Severus knew about my plan for killing Voldemort and I growled quietly to myself. I would write him a letter telling him that, just because my relationship with Sirius is developing, doesn't mean I don't still want to remain in contact with him. Sirius doesn't rule who I can and can't hang out with. If that doesn't work then I would have to rely on the oath we made to make sure he didn't let my plans slip. Thank god I didn't give details.


	55. Chapter 55

My dark blue eyes stared blankly at my reflection in the train compartment window. The arm draped across my shoulders tightened to get my attention. "Are you okay, Alex?"

I forced my thoughts aside for the moment to send Sirius a small smile. "I'm fine. Just tired, you know?"

He nodded empathetically. "Definitely. We should still be sleeping right now."

Remus scoffed from his seat across from us. "It's three in the afternoon, Padfoot."

"And we should be sleeping! Not sitting on a train for four hours!" James jumped in to agree with his black haired friend.

As the boys started fighting about how much sleep they should be getting I went back to staring out the window. My eyes unfocused as I delved deeper into worrying thoughts. Each one revolved around Sirius and our new relationship. Everything was going well between us. Our first date to Hogsmead went without a hitch. Ate at the Three Broomsticks while laughing over pints of butterbeer. It was definitely one of the best dates I'd ever had.

We went out a few times after that, but as the year drew to a close I started exchanging letters more frequently with Severus. He reluctantly admitted to being summoned by Voldemort. The Dark Lord mentioned my name during the meeting, meaning he was getting ready to make some sort of move to admit me into his ranks. I didn't know how Voldemort planned on doing it, but I didn't want to find out.

Not finding out meant I needed to kill him sooner than I imagined. I knew trying to kill a Dark Lord included a high chance of death. He was a sixth year old dark wizard. A protege as a child and now the leader of the dark side of the war. I'd only been a witch for sixteen years. Nothing I did in past lives would help me defeat him.

Based off of Harry Potter's horcrux adventure I knew they were far from safe. I could get seriously injured, or even killed trying to collect just one. Bringing Sirius crossed my mind because I knew he would be more than willing to help me, but I cared for him way too much to risk his life. I might even love the silly prankster.

Based off of the length of our relationship so far I knew he cared about me as well. I at least knew he loved me deeply as a friend. Just thinking about him being hurt or dying broke my heart. If his pain was even half that I wouldn't want him to go through it. Unfortunately war causes people a lot of pain. If ending the war meant sacrificing my life I would do it. A rather Gryffindorish thought, but my boyfriend was a Gryffindor so I would let it slide.

Over the past few months I wondered if ending our relationship would make my passing easier for him. I definitely didn't want to go back to being just friends, but I didn't want to cause him excess heartbreak. Losing a good friend would be heard enough. Someone you possibly love would be even worse.

I caught myself thinking ahead as if my death was a surety. Forcing myself to stop I focused outside the window to see the train pulling into the station. The Marauders pulled their trunks down from the overhead rack, then Sirius helped pull down mine.

We held hands as we got off the train. I stared at our linked fingers with growing dread. Our relationship had been so wonderful. A dream come true. He held my hand, hugged me, kissed me, cuddled in bed like the lovey teenagers we were. Sometimes he would come back from sneaking into Hogsmead and give me chocolate from Honeydukes. I loved every inch of that boy, and the more I thought about it the more I knew I needed to protect him. Not just from heartbreak, but with Voldemort trying to recruit me he might see Sirius as a weakness.

"Swift?" Sirius tugged on my hand to get my attention. "Are you alright? You've been a little out of it these last couple days."

I tried to smile for him, but instead I felt a traitorous tear slide down my cheek.

He saw it and immediately looked concerned. "Alex?" Sirius cupped my face with his hands. "What's wrong, love? Are you hurt?"

I shook my head. "No, no, um," I sniffled pathetically. "I've been thinking for a while and I realized something."

His eyes widened in what looked like horror. "Alex…please don't be doing what I think you're doing."

"I'm really sorry Sirius, but–"

"You're sorry?" He asked harshly.

"Yes I'm sorry!" I rose my voice. "There's something I need to take care of over the summer, and I think we need to take a bit of a break while I get through it. Trust me, Sirius, I don't want to do this–"

"Then don't!" His grip on my face became a little tighter. "You can't just–did I do something wrong?"

"No!" I said, horrified. "You haven't done a thing! You're absolutely perfect. Even better than I imagined."

"Oh I see," he stepped back and rolled his eyes. "The 'it's not you, it's me' speech? I'm not buying it Alex."

"Well if you're going to be like that, then you should know it's neither of us." I set my hands on my hips while mentally cursing Voldemort for existing. "I'm not breaking up with you because I want to. I'm doing this to protect you."

Sirius looked incredulous. "Protect me? Is this because of Voldemort's cronies? Alex I'm not scared of a few snakes, I can take care of myself."

I sighed irritably. "I know you can protect yourself against the Slytherins, but what about older Death Eaters? More experienced and torture crazy adults? This isn't even the full reason–"

"Then what is?" He cut me off once again. "Is there somebody else?"

Gave him a horrified look. "No!"

"There is, isn't there?" He shook his head. "I should've known–"

"Sirius!"

"–I bet it's Snivellus–"

"Will you listen to me?"

"–should've killed him when I had the chance–"

A swift slap to the cheek cut off Sirius' tirade. He immediately went silent and cradled his cheek with one hand.

"God, you can be such an idiot sometimes! Severus has absolutely nothing to do with this, so don't even try blaming him for anything. We need to break up because if Voldemort finds out how much I actually love you I wouldn't put it passed him to hunt you down and kidnap you as leverage." I didn't mention the part where I might die so he wouldn't meet angry at me for risking my life. Then he would try to join me, and I couldn't let that happen.

Sirius stared at me with wide eyes. His arm fell down to his side while the other hand dropped his trunk to the pavement wth a loud thunk. "What did you just say?"

My eyebrows furrowed at his change from anger to surprise. "That he would hunt you down and kidnap you?"

He slowly shook his head. "No, before that." When I couldn't think of it he answered for me. "You said you love me?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but all I could get out was, "Ah."

"You do?" He took a small step closer. "You love me?"

My eyes closed in defeat and I sighed. Even after dating for the past few months neither of us mentioned loving the other. I saw signs of him loving me back, but I still got too nervous to say the three damnable words. Now I've said them in a fit of irritation while trying to break up. Possibly the worst thing to tell someone in a break up. "Yes, Sirius. I love you deeply. That's part of the reason o need to protect you, alright?"

Stepping up to his surprise form I pulled his face down to mine. I pressed my lips gently against his once, twice, then pulled away to stare into his grey eyes. "I love you, Sirius Black, more than anything in this entire world. I'm sorry for doing this to you right now, but hopefully one day I'll be able to explain. I'll understand if staying friends would be too hard or awkward."

Grabbing onto my trunk I gave his limp hand a slight squeeze before heading towards the Floo network. Off to the side I saw Remus, James, and Peter staring after me with wide eyes. They never would've expected us to break up. If anything they believed we'd get married today. I didn't know it, but the three of them made bets on when Sirius would propose.

Said boy abruptly grabbed my arm and spun me around to look at him. He had a bit of a wild light in his eyes. "You can't just say you love me and then break up. It doesn't make any sense!"

"I'm breaking up with you because I need to protect you. I can't explain it now, okay?"

"Alex I'm not giving up on you."

I smiled sadly. "I wouldn't want you to. But over the summer I'll be doing something dangerous, and I don't want you to get involved."

He became dead serious. "Don't tell me it's dark magic."

I pursed my lips. "It sort of involves dark magic, but I'm not going to be practicing Dark Arts or anything like that. It's more of an adventure type of thing."

Sirius tightened his grip on my shoulders. "Let me help you," he whispered. "You don't have to do this alone."

Slipping out of his grip I stepped forward to hug him. "I know it doesn't make much sense, but I'm doing this for you."

"I love you, too." His sudden declaration made my heart stop. "I was waiting for the right time to tell you, but it seems that will never happen."

A sob ripped itself out of my throat. "God, I love you so much. I'm so sorry I'm doing this, but I swear I'll explain it to you some day, somehow."

He stiffened. "'Somehow'?"

Maneuvering out of his hold I gathered my trunk. "I'll see you later, Sirius. Hopefully you'll find it within yourself to forgive me." I stepped into the Floo and disappeared before he could grab me again. As soon as the fire spit me back out I collapsed to the marble floor. A deep sob ripped it's way out of my mouth, followed by dozens more.

My heart felt as if it had been torn to pieces with nothing to put it back together. I knew I loved that boy deeply. Nothing could compare to what I felt for him, except for maybe the marriage in my first life. That had been so long ago I didn't think it would be right to count it. Admitting our love to one another just made it all worse. I felt horrible for doing this to Sirius. He didn't know I was doing it so, if I died, he wouldn't have such a heavy loss. I didn't know if what I did was right anymore, but I couldn't take it back. I needed to take care of Voldemort and then see what I could do to mend our broken relationship. If we can't be romantically involved any longer than I would at least settle for friendship.


	56. Chapter 56

Sirius paced from one way to the next while agitatedly running his hands through his hair. "I just don't get it. Everything was fine–perfect even. Then she breaks up with me? What did I do wrong?"

From his place on his bed, James popped another Bertie Botts Bean into his mouth. "Pretty sure you didn't do anything."

"Then why?!" Sirius threw up his hands and turned to face James. "She was distant last week, but I didn't know she wanted to break up! No warning whatsoever. Completely out of the blue."

"Maybe she just likes you as a friend?" Peter piped up from the bean bag in the corner of James' room.

Sirius shook his head and resumed pacing. "No, no, she told me she loved me."

James, Peter, and Remus all looked up at him with wide eyes. James choked on the beam he chewed on while Remus dropped his quill. "She said what?" Once James coughed out the bean he echoed Remus' question.

Remembering her words brought a smile to Sirius' face. "She said she loved me." The smile faded writhing moments. "Not like it matters. She still broke up with me to 'protect me'."

Remus rose an eyebrow. "From what?"

"She's worried about Voldemort and his cronies coming after me."

He hummed thoughtfully. "I suppose that isn't an unfounded worry to have."

James scoffed. "Padfoot can take care of himself just fine."

"So if three Death Eaters ambush him during a raid he'll be completely fine?" Remus looked doubtful.

"Of course he would!" James jumped to his best mates defense. "And I'll be there to help kick their arses!"

Peter shouted his agreement while Remus rolled his eyes. "Alex loves you deeply, anybody with eyes can see it. Her saying it just confirms it. When the time is right you'll just have to ask her out again."

"But when will that be?!" Sirius face planted onto James' bed with a despaired groan.

"She said this summer right?" James ate another bean. "Ask her when we get back to Hogwarts."

Sirius rolled onto his back and shook his head. "Three months? That's too late. There's gotta be some time sooner."

"You can't push her, Sirius." Remus advised. "There will be a time when you two can try being in a relationship again, but it's not now. You could probably still send letters to her, just wait until she says something or you see the right moment before asking to get back together."

The room fell silent before Sirius released an aggravated groan. "Why are girls so complicated?!"

James snorted, thinking about a certain red headed Gryffindor. "Tell me about it."

"What if Alex broke up with you because she met someone else?"

A moment passed before Sirius, James, and Remus all turned to stare at Peter. James and Remus were obviously wondering about his mental health while Sirius had anger and jealousy warring within him. "What?" He hissed.

Peter shifted uncomfortably underneath the force of his friends' stares. "I'm just saying. Maybe she lied and she actually left you for another guy."

"Alex wouldn't do that." Remus dismissed. "I'm pretty sure she's wanted to date Sirius for a few years now."

Now it was his turn to be stared at. "A few years?" Sirius leaned forward interestedly.

Remus scratched the back of his neck. "Well, yeah. Her heart rate increased whenever she was around you, or when you did certain things near her."

"So she didn't leave me for Edmund?"

James tilted his head thoughtfully. "That's the Ravenclaw in our year, right? I didn't know he liked Alex."

"He does." Sirius growled at the thought, sounding a lot like his animagus form.

"Not so much anymore," Remus said. "Sure he has a small crush, but I think he's dating a fifth year Hufflepuff so he'll get over it eventually."

James snapped his fingers. "Isn't he the kid you wanted to prank in fifth year? You wanted him to walk into the Great Hall in nothing but a pink jock-strap."

Three of them snickered at the picture that presented while Remus tsk'ed. "If I didn't let you do it then, I'm still not letting you do it now. That's being downright cruel."

Sirius lounged on the bed next to James. "What's cruel is letting him think he has a chance with Alex when he clearly doesn't."

"I think your possessiveness is starting to show," Remus warned.

The grim animagus smirked. "Alex loves it. I punched Jeremy Fuller for touching her shoulder and got the snog of my life because of it."

"She didn't yell at you?" Peter asked incredulously.

"Oh she yelled." Sirius laughed. "And raved about how I shouldn't hit people every time they touch her or else I'd be hitting a lot of people. She's right, but she's still mine and people should know that."

"Technically she's not yours right now." James pointed out.

The next thing he knew a giant black dog tackled him off the bed onto the floor. Remus and Peter laughed as James cried for mercy from the growling canine.

* * *

 **AN: Just a short excerpt with the Marauders' and their reactions.**


	57. Chapter 57

Leaning against the end of my bed I scratched behind Tasha's ears. Barney slept off to my right. Mother and I bought him when I was eight, so he must've been around nine years old by now. That was rather old for Irish wolf hounds. It might've been because of the magical environment, but I could see he was on his last legs.

A pop came from in front of me. I looked up from the back of Tasha's head to see Mandy smiling brightly. She always had a smile to spare, and she's been with me as long as Barney has. I wondered how old she was, but couldn't find it in me to ask her. "Is there something you needed?"

The house elf lost her smile when she heard how depressed I sounded. "Lunch is ready, Mistress."

I looked back down at Tasha. Her sad brown eyes stared up into my blue. "I'm not hungry."

Mandy huffed. "Mistress didn't eat yesterday, but you will eat today!" She popped out of existence as soon as her sentence finished. I thought she'd left me alone, but a minute later she popped back in with a tray with a glass of water and a plate of turkey sandwiches. "Eat!"

I stared at her with wide eyes as she shooed Tasha out of the way so the tray would fit across my lap. A small amount of amusement filled me at the sight of the pushy elf. Ever since coming back from Hogwarts I felt nothing but growing depression. I only had myself to blame for it, but it gave Sirius added protection. Hopefully he didn't hate me, and we could get back together after the Voldemort situation was taken care of.

"Thank you, Mandy." My amusement faded back to the usual sadness. "But I'm really not hungry."

"Mandy wait here until you've eaten everything off that plate!" To prove her point Mandy crossed her arms and locked her legs together, all the while staring pointedly at my still full plate.

Deciding not to argue, and knowing I needed to eat to live, I slowly began eating the sandwich. The more I ate the hungrier I felt.

Tasha and Barney sat on either side of me. Their brown eyes begging for scraps of my sandwich. I tried giving them some, but Mandy shooed them away so I would eat the entire thing.

"There," I took the last sip of my water, "I'm done."

Mandy nodded approvingly then snapped her fingers. The tray on my lap disappeared, allowing Tasha to crawl back into my lap. "Thank you, Mandy, for everything."

Mandy beamed proudly. "Anything for Mistress Alex."

"Mandy can you bring me Hooter? I need to send a letter."

She nodded. "Mandy will be back." She disappeared to get the owl. For a moment I wondered if he would be able to make the trip. Like Barney, Hooter's been his last legs the past few weeks. I would use him to send this last letter before letting him retire and buying a new owl.

When Mandy returned with an agitated owl I thanked her before sending her away. I let Hooter perch on my shoulder while I went into my study. Smoothing out a piece of parchment over my desk I got out a pen and began writing.

 _Severus,_

 _I know we aren't particularly close, but I believe it would be in our best interests if you came to stay at my place over the summer. It involves what we talked about in the Kitchens a few months ago, do you remember? I realized I need to strike first to protect myself and the people I love. It will just be the two of us all summer. Sirius and the other Marauders won't be coming over at any point this summer._

 _Write back soon,_

 _Alex Palmer._

Sealing the parchment into its envelope I handed it to Hooter. "Take this to Severus Snape for me. Be careful though, I think he lives in the muggle world."

The old owl snapped the letter up in his beak and took off for the window. I got up to open it for him and watched him fly off with anxious eyes. I needed Severus' advice regarding the retrieval of almost all of the horcruxes. The diadem was easy, but the others would be near impossible to get alone.

I didn't get a reply until two days later. Hooter came back very tired, and I let him rest in the owlery.

 _Palmer,_

 _Retrieve me in two days time. We can talk about the items then._

 _Snape._

The curt response pulled an eye roll from me. I threw away the letter and didn't bother sending a reply. I waited for the two days before having Mandy pop me over to Severus' house in Spinners End. We appeared in the middle of someone's living room, probably Severus', with an unfamiliar man sitting on a run down couch.

The man shouted in surprise and dropped the beer bottle he'd been holding. I smiled a little bit at his reaction. Startling people always amused me, but the amusement quickly faded when his surprise turned to anger and fear. "One of those freaks, are you?"

My eyebrows flew up my forehead. I wouldn't've been surprised if they reached my hairline. "What?"

"From that _school_ ," the man spat disgustedly. "Hogwash or whatever it's called. Bunch of unnatural freaks, all of you."

"Excuse you, sir." I didn't know whether to shout angrily back or stay calm. "I'm just here for a friend of mine. If you could–"

"A friend?" He asked incredulously. "Do you mean Severus? Ha! That boy doesn't have any friends."

I glared. "I assure you that he does. I should know since I'm one of them."

"Look here," the man stood up, making Mandy hide behind my legs in fear. Her actions made the man finally notice her. "What is that thing?!"

"That 'thing' is my house elf. She happens to be a god friend of mine, and it would do you good not to insult her."

He glared at the both of us. "It's disgusting."

Out of anger I called my wand into my hand. I didn't raise my arm to point it at him, but he still saw its appearance. His previously red face drained of all color. "You ain't supposed to use magic outside of your school."

I sent him a fake smile. "You say that as if I care." I actually did care, but this man didn't need to know that.

His teeth clenched from fear and he spit out through his teeth, "He's up in 'is room. Get him and don't come back."

Without another word I strode towards the staircase leading to the second floor. Each stair creaked beneath my weight, and the carpet had been stained yellow. The house had a visual lack of care and money put into it.

There were three doors upstairs. I checked the room with the open door, but nobody was inside. The second was a bathroom, and I knocked on the third door. A young male voice responded so I went in.

Severus Snape laid on top of blue threadbare sheets. His feet hung off the end of the twin bed enough to let me know he clearly needed a new bed. He looked up from the book he was reading, and when he realized who entered his room he dropped the book and got off the bed. "Palmer."

I smiled. "You did remember I was coming, right?"

He sneered. "I thought you would be smart enough to send a note for us to meet somewhere."

I hummed thoughtfully. "That might've been smarter. I think I just met your father, and I have to say he's not a very nice guy."

"You…" his eyes were wide and I couldn't think of another time when he showed so much emotion. "You talked to my father?"

"Yeah," I shrugged to show it wasn't a big deal. "Wasn't the welcome I expected, but whatever. Are you ready to go? Or do you want to stop somewhere for lunch first?"

Severus continued to stare at me unbelievingly. I didn't see what the big deal was regarding my talk with his father. Maybe he expected the man to hurt me somehow?After meeting him I wouldn't be surprised if the guy was abusive. If not physically then emotionally. "We can go now."

He pulled his trunk out from under his bed. I grabbed onto Mandy's hand and she reached out to take Severus'. He cringed away at first. "A house elf?"

"Yes. Her name is Mandy. I would've apparated here, but I don't have my license." It looked like he was contemplating whether it would be a good idea to grab her hand or not. "We could always stay here with your dad."

He glared at me for that comment. It might've been underhanded but he immediately snatched Mandy's hand. Once she had a good hold she popped us into the main foyer of my manor. "Mandy did you get Severus' room ready?"

She nodded. "It be all set!"

"Please lead us there."

Mandy started walking towards the wing of the manor that held all of the rooms. Severus and I followed after her, and I pretended not to notice him examining everything we passed by. "This is a pureblood manor."

"It is." I agreed. "The Fox Estate is the name of this place. Huge grounds. Five house elves, two dogs, and an owl. I'll need a new owl soon though."

Severus rose an eyebrow. "Dogs?"

"Yes, dogs. If you're not a dog person I'll make sure they stay outside most of the time."

"I don't mind dogs." He sneered, "Just Black."

The name made my heart ache. "I'd rather not talk about Sirius while we're here."

His eyebrow went up in interest. "No?"

"I broke up with him to protect him from Voldemort," I rushed to get the words out.

Severus snorted. "The Dark Lord already knows the two of you are close. Ending your relationship isn't going to do anything to protect him."

My eyes widened. "Not at all?"

"Of course not. The two of you have always been very close. Going from friends to lovers. He will use that against you no matter what your relationship with him is."

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "I thought it would give him some protection."

"It might save him pain, in the long run."

My eyes widened. "Shit."

He snorted. "Indeed."

"This bes Master Severus' rooms."

Mandy stopped us in front of a closed door. We were on the third floor while the Marauders usually stayed on the second. I swung open the door and gestured for Severus to go inside. "If you want to paint the room or get different furniture just let me know."

Severus stood in the middle of the room with his trunk sitting at his feet. He silently took in the room with a blank face. I couldn't tell if he liked it or not. "Is everything alright? I'm sure I could get a different room if you need one."

He shook his head and moved to look out the window. He stared down at the courtyard with that blank expression. "You plan for me to stay in here the whole summer?"

"Well yeah." I examined the room to see if there was anything wrong. "Of course you have free reign of the grounds. I'll give you a tour later. I think you'll love the library." When he continued to examine the room I cleared my throat. "So is this fine?"

Severus nodded slightly. "It's adequate enough."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright. Do you want the tour now or do you want to settle in first?"

He pursed his lips in thought. "Later."

"I'll have an elf get you when dinner is ready, the afterwards I'll show you around."

When he didn't say anything else I backed out of the room and shut the door. It felt weird having someone who wasn't a Marauder in the house.

All of a sudden the thought of the full moon came to mind. Remus always spent them here with me since I got the manor. Sure he probably had a plan for summers in the past, but I didn't want my break up with Sirius to take away a place Moony considers safe.

With Severus taken care of I could go to my study and write Remus a short note. I began writing a sentence about Sirius' whereabouts why I stopped. My eyes blurred with tears and I squeezed them closed. Any thought of Sirius made my heart ache.

Opening my eyes revealed wet drops on the parchment. I crumpled it up and tossed it towards the garbage can. The next letter was short and to the point.

 _Dear Remus,_

 _By now I'm sure you've heard about me breaking up with Sirius. I didn't want to, but thinking about Voldemort going after him because of me was too much. Although, I've been informed it wouldn't have mattered if we broke up or not._

 _That's not what I'm writing about. Even though we're separated you are still welcome to come to my manor for full moons. I'll understand if you say no._

 _Love,_

 _Alex Palmer_

I called for Mandy after sealing the letter in an envelope. "Take this to Remus Lupin and wait for a reply."

She bowed and took the note. "Right away, Mistress."

After she left I went into my bedroom to gather my school supplies. I had a few essays I needed to write.

Mandy returned after I set up everything I needed to start my charms essay. "Master Lupin says he be willings to come if other Masters may come as well."

My heart clenched. "Sirius?"

Even though it was a whisper Mandy still heard it. "Yes, Mistress Alex."

I bit my lip uncertainly. "I…no. Not yet. Tell him I'm sorry but I'm not ready."

When she returned with news of Remus' understanding I felt relief. Guilt was also there, but I really couldn't face Sirius so soon after breaking up with him. I felt like shit for what I did but it couldn't be changed. But one day I would ask him to be my boyfriend again. Hopefully it would be sooner rather than later. Losing him may cause me to die from a broken heart.


	58. Chapter 58

Severus looked over the list of horcruxes and where they are. "And you don't know what wards are around these?"

I shook my head. "No. I figured for the ring I could hire a curse-breaker from Gringotts. I'd prefer a goblin curse-breaker since they won't care so much about what we're doing. A witch or wizard would probably gossip about it. We don't want to risk word getting back to Voldemort about people near one of his horcruxes."

He gave me an odd look. "Horcruxes?"

"Did I not tell you about them?" I searched my memory and realized I never told him what I would do to make Voldemort defeatable. "Voldemort is scared of death, so when he was younger he looked for a way to become immortal. To do that he ripped his soul into five pieces and put them into objects. Those objects are horcruxes."

Severus' wide eyes focused back on the list. "He ripped his soul?"

"Because he's scared of dying, yes."

"That's…" his lips thinned in distaste, "disgusting. No sane human being would rip their souls apart."

"Voldemort isn't exactly sane," I pointed out. "I figured we could try and get the cup on the same day I hire a curse-breaker. The diadem I can get when we get back to Hogwarts. We can get the locket sort of easily, and I don't know what to do about the diary."

"Are you sure Lucius has is?" Severus sounded doubtful.

I nodded. "Positive. He's been a Death Eater since before he left Hogwarts. If he doesn't have it I have no clue where else it would be."

"With the Dark Lord perhaps?"

I held up a hand. "The sarcasm isn't necessary."

He rolled his eyes and folded up the list. "When do you plan on going after these horcruxes?" Just saying the word made him uncomfortable.

"Why not today?" I looked out the dining room window to see the afternoon sunlight. "I'd like to get through this as quickly as possible."

Severus hummed. "That would probably be wise. Then I could go home quicker."

I scoffed and stood up from the dining room table. "Go back at your own risk, man. You're welcome to stay even after we've gathered all the horcruxes."

He gave me a suspicious look. "Why?"

My eyebrows furrowed from confusion. "Why not? We're friends–of a sort. And I don't mean to make assumptions, but your father wasn't the nicest. Think of this place as your own personal getaway."

Severus hid his uncertainty and made no more comments about it. The two of us walked into the parlor and exited through the main doors. This was the first time Severus went outside since coming to the manor. He subtly eyed the grounds with an approving eye while I led us to the front gates.

"I assume we're going for the locket first? How are we getting to the cave?"

As a answer I pulled out my wand and thrust it out over the dirt road. At first nothing happened, and it made me think I just made a fool of myself, when a purple triple decker bus shot into view with am almost deafening bang.

I almost fell to the ground. Severus was close enough for me to latch onto and stop the fall. He didn't pay any attention to me, too busy staring at the bus.

The door folded open to reveal a man in his forties wearing a wrinkled purple suit. "Welcome to the Knight Bus. I'm Archie, that's Ernie," he pointed his thumb to the man sitting in the driver seat. "Bus fair is 14 Knuts per person."

Shaking myself out of my shocked stupor I reached into my bag attached to my vault. Pulling out a handful of Knuts I counted them out until I reached twenty eight. Severus tried to prevent me from paying for him, but I stopped him. "Don't worry about it. I'm taking you on this crazy venture, the least I can do is pay for it."

We climbed onto the bus and found beds instead of seats. Archie called from up front. "Where are we off to?"

"Wools Orphanage." As soon as I finished speaking the bus shot forward. Since I had t been sitting down yet I ended up falling forward, tripped over one of the beds,many face planted onto the bus floor.

Severus, the wanker, laughed at my groaning form. He stopped laughing real quick when he realized how crazy Ernie drove through the traffic. If we were going like a normal bus I would've asked him to help me, but as it was I just laid on the floor waiting for the roller coaster of a trip to end.

The Knight Bus didn't slow to a stop either. I should've known that with the way it appeared in front of Fox Manor. Instead I got no warning as my body slid across the buss floor several feet when the driver slammed on the brakes. It was basically an instant stop.

Using a nearby bed to pull myself up I made eye contact with Severus. With shaky hands I patted down my hair to make sure it wasn't a complete wreck. "I thought I got over my car sickness…guess not."

Severus and I shuffled out of the Bus. Once Severus and I had our two feet touching the ground the Bus shot off. We made eye contact again and he glared at me. "We are never doing that again."

"Sorry." I grimaced and pressed a hand to my aching head. "I would apparate us back, but I don't have a license." There was an apparition class in Hogwarts last year. Memories of Sirius popping from one side of the room to the other with a wide smile made my heart ache.

"If you're so worried about it then I'll apparate us back to your place."

I gave him a confused look. "You have a license?"

"No."

"Then forget it." I watched the kids playing in front of the decrepit building. "I don't want you getting arrested for illegal apparition."

"As opposed to this?" He held out his left arm, but he didn't have to roll up his sleeve for me to know the dark mark darkened his forearm.

"Okay, fine, point. At least the apparition would only be a few years on Azkaban, as opposed to your whole life."

Severus said nothing as we trudged through the rusty orphanage gates. He eyed the building with a critical eye. The kids all stopped playing to watch us walk up the cracked sidewalk to the rickety wooden door.

We walked in slowly, eyeing dust and smelling mold. "The Dark Lord grew up _here_?"

I nodded. "Every bad guy has a sad past. This is his. Although, I hope it was a little cleaner than this."

A tired looking teenager showed us where the main office was. She knocked for us before walking off without a word. Severus and I glanced at one another before I opened the door to enter the office.

Sitting behind a desk full of papers was a blonde haired woman. She wore cat eye glasses on a thin nose. When we entered she looked up with tired eyes. So far everything in the building seemed depressed. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm looking for a cave," I got straight to business. I didn't want to be in this place longer than usual. "This orphanage used to go on a trip to a beach? I don't remember what beach it was and I was hoping you could tell me."

The woman sighed and took off her glasses to clean them with her shirt. "We haven't gone for some years now, but…" she reached into a drawer and pulled out a map, "here it is."

Severus and I looked over the map to see what beach she was talking about. It was several miles away from the orphanage, and we decided walking it would be best. The Knight Bus was now our last resort.

After thanking the woman for her help we hurried away from the orphanage in the direction of the beach. She was kind enough to give us the map as a guide.

"That place was awful."

"No doubt it will close down in a few years," I noted. "Health inspectors, or whoever, would see that and decide it's not fit enough for kids to be living in."

Our walk to the beach was spent in silence. Since we weren't the best of friends we didn't try getting to know each other or asking one another what we were doing over the summer. Not like that mattered since we were spending part of the summer together already. Even back at the manor Severus was a silent presence.

At the beach I kept an eye out for the face of a cliff. That was where the cave would be located.

"Over there." I pointed off to the distance where the beach ended. The ground rose above sea level further put in the ocean. We had to go up on the edge of that cliff and climb down the side.

Severus stared down at the choppy waves with disbelief. "You expect me to follow you down there?"

"It's not like there are any stairs," I said exasperatedly. While looking down at the crashing waves I took out my wand and placed it flat on my palm. "Point me: cave."

My wand twitched to the left. I slowly walked in that direction until my wand pointed straight in front of me. "We go down here."

Before I could start scaling down the rocks I'm roughly pushed aside. Severus whipped out his wand with a flourish, aiming down that the cliff face. Slabs of rock inched out of the cliff to the right of the area we needed to climb down. Loud grumbling sounds could be heard over the crashing waves as the rock ladder finished its formation.

"I'm not risking my life any more than I already am," he commented as he tucked his wand back into its holster.

With a mumbled thanks I hesitantly began climbing down the rock ladder he made. My heart thrummed with anxiety as I climbed down the rock ladder. It didn't hit me until just then that we were actually going after Voldemort's horcruxes. Those are just the horcruxes. Actually killing Voldemort is another challenge entirely.

The cave opening was on the left side. When I reached the bottom of the ladder I swung onto a nearby rock, wet from the ocean waves, then jumped to were several rocks leading into the cave, almost like a path, until I reached the caves jagged floor.

Severus came up behind me not a minute later. We lit our wands with Lumos before venturing further inside. Our footsteps were the only sounds in the cave. My nerves were too jumbled to even attempt at conversation. I didn't know if that's how Severus felt, but he stayed silent as well.

The cave walls quickly began closing in on us. When it became too narrow for us to walk side-by-side Severus put himself in the lead. I would've been fine taking the lead, but in this instance I wasn't about to argue.

Minutes passed before Severus held up his hand. I immediately stopped. "What is it?"

In the dark and quiet of the cave I decided to use a whisper, but it still managed to bounce off the walls.

"There's something on the wall in front of us."

"Like a symbol?" I tried looking closer until I saw his sneer.

"No, not a symbol," Severus snapped. "Wards."

I would've snapped back, but I figured he was as nervous as I was so I let it slide. "Can you get rid of them?"

Instead of answering me he took out his wand and began waving it at the wall in front of him. He mumbled Latin under his breath–none of which I could understand.

"It's a blood sacrificing ward. Meaning someone has to put their blood on the wall and a door will reveal itself."

Again, I was more than willing to contribute by cutting my thumb and pressing it against the wall. Severus acted faster than I did by taking his wand and slashing it over his palm. Blood immediately pooled out and dripped to the floor. He didn't so much as flinch in pain. I would've commented on it, but he pressed his hand to the wall.

The sound of breaking rocks silenced me. I moved my wand closer so we could see what was happening to the wall. Cracks going from the floor up to about six feet covered the middle section of the wall. They spiderwebbed about four feet across before chunk after chunk fell off and clattered to the ground.

The four by six foot section of wall crumbled away, leaving a gaping hole on its place. Whatever it led to was pitch black. The Lumos spell allowed us to see the ground we were stepping on, and only about two feet in front of us.

"What is that?"

I followed Severus' outstretched arm in the direction he was pointing at. Quite some distance away from us sat a small green light. I blinked and rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things, but the light remained. "It's the horcrux." Clearing my throat I cast a Lumos maxima at the ceiling.

The bright white light penetrated the darkness of the cave. It allowed us to see how cavernous the area was. An underground lake protected by jagged cave walls. Right in the middle of that lake sat the basin holding the horcrux.

"Okay. There's a chain attached to a boat somewhere around here. Whatever you do, _don't touch the water_."

Severus rose an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because there are inferior in it."

His already pale skin tone became sickly. "What?" He hissed at me.

"If we touch the waters surface the inferior will attack us. The boat is our only way across."

"You tell me this now?!"

"Quit whining." I barked. It echoed around the room and I did my best to ignore it. "It's not that bad as long as you don't fuck up."

"Thank you, for that mesmerizing pep talk," Severus drawled. He rolled his eyes and started searching for the chain with mutterings of stupid Ravenclaws.

There was only a small platform for us to search around. We looked in ever crack and crevice before deciding the chain wasn't anywhere visible.

"I can feel it," I mumbled to myself. "It's like," I got dangerously close to the waters edge before stopping, "right here."

"That doesn't matter if we can't get it," Severus muttered spitefully.

Sending him an irritated glance I held my wand over the water and cast a silent Accio. The first try did nothing which was odd since we went over silent spell casting and it always worked. I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong, so I tried focusing more.

"Severus? Help me Accio this thing out of here."

"What, can't do it yourself?" Despite his sassy comment he took his place beside me.

"On three." We both pointed our wands at the water and counted down from three. After "one" we verbally said "Accio" with our complete focus on the spell. The water in front of us started bubbling aggressively.

Neither of us broke concentration. Our efforts were rewarded with a seaweed covered chain bursting out of the lake and shooting at our faces. I screamed and jumped back into Severus. We both fell to the ground and the chain fell on top of us.

Severus groaned underneath me. "Get off."

I scrambled onto my feet, careful not to touch the water, and spouted apologies. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

I held the wet chain in one hand and held out the other for Severus to grab. He slapped it away irritatedly and got up himself. "You got your chain, now what?"

"Pull up the boat." With both hands I started pulling on the chain. The slack quickly disappeared and all I had left to do was pull up the boat. Severus had to grab part of the chain to help when he realized I was struggling to get it on my own.

The two of us managed to pull the small boat onto the rocky ground. Severus held it steady while I carefully climbed on. He had to be even more careful while getting in since nobody was there to hold it steady.

Once the boat stopped rocking I pulled up the two paddles I would use to row us across. As usual the two of us sat in silence as we slowly made our way across the lake towards the rocky formation where the horcrux sat in wait.

Severus helped direct me to where we needed to go. Since I had my back to the formation I'd have to turn my whole body to see where to go. Severus made it easier.

I did my best to slow the boat down so we wouldn't hit the formation too hard. We still rocked when the boat ran into the rocks.

I climbed out of the boat first since I was closest to the land. This time I steadied the boat so Severus could walk across it and climb out after me. To make sure it wouldn't float away I pulled the boat halfway onto the land, making sure part of it still touched the water.

"What potion is this?"

Raising h eyebrows in surprise I slowly traversed the rocky platform to stand beside Severus at the basin. "You're the potions expert, shouldn't you know?"

He exhaled a frustrated breath. "I've never encountered a potion like this." He tried reaching through it, but his hand was stopped. Like the top of the potion had a layer of glass protections it.

"I don't know what it is or what it does," I admitted. "All I know is that it won't kill me."

Severus rose an eyebrow. "Kill you?"

I nodded. "Me. You are going to feed me this potion until all of it is gone."

He sneered at me. "You're as stupid as your Gryffindor friends. You really think you can drink a potion you know nothing about and be okay?"

"Oh, I'm not going to be okay." My response visibly surprised him. "This is going to affect me very badly, but no matter what I say, no matter what I do, you cannot stop giving it to me."

Sitting on the edge of the basin was some sort of shell. As I reached for it I saw my hands trembling from the mixture of fear and anxiety. What I remembered from the movie scared me, and that was just an actor. No doubt the real thing would be worse. Ten times or a hundred times worse.

I inhaled shakily as I slowly dipped the shell into the potion. The trembling of my hands worsened when I brought the edge of the shell closer to my lips. I closed my eyes, took a few shaky breaths, and downed the potion as quickly as I possibly could.

My legs gave way, causing me to collapse to the ground. Any pain my body felt from hitting the hard rocks didn't register. My arms and legs spasmed uncontrollably while my heart started beating erratically. If I could think logically I would've known I shouldn't have been feeling so terrified, but none of my thoughts were rational.

Something pressed against my mouth and I automatically opened it to let the liquid fill my mouth and I swallowed it. At first I thought it was water, something my suddenly parched throat desperately needed, but my petrifying terror only increased.

"No!" I weakly pushed against Severus' arm when the shell touched my mouth a third time. I vaguely remembered the potion I had to be drinking, but it was so terrible. "Please!"

Too weak to fight against him I ended up drinking more of the potion. My body shook so hard it probably looked as if I were having a seizure. My mouth and throat were dryer than a desert. The potion. It was all because of the potion.

"Don't make me drink any more." I pleaded in a raspy voice. "Severus, please."

"Come on," I heard his encouraging tone. Severus never spoke like that. To anybody. A testament to how horrible I must've looked, but I wasn't in the right mind to think or care about that. "You have to finish."

"Don't make me," I mumbled weakly. "Don'tmakemedon'tmake…" more potion filled my mouth, and in the hopes it would quench some of my thirst I swallowed it.

It didn't.

Without my notice I ended up lying flat on the ground. A hand touched my shoulder, and I flinched so violently my head smacked into one of the stones. Severus cursed and I groaned.

"You stupid girl! Drink the potion!"

Shaking my head made me dizzy. "No. Sev'rus please. Just…kill me. I can't take it anymore." A vision of Sirius appeared in front of me. He stood there smiling before blood began leaking out of his mouth, followed by his eyes, then his ears. I let out a gut wrenching sob, "Stop it!"

"Take one more drink and it will stop," I heard. "Just one."

Panting from exhaustion, fear, and pain I tried sitting up so Severus could pour the potion into my mouth. If this made everything stop I would drink it. I needed to drink it if that meant I didn't have to watch Sirius die in front of me.

I sobbed and sobbed as flashes of my mother's death filled my thoughts next. "You said it would end." Something pulled me onto my feet, but I was so weak I couldn't get my legs to work. "It's not stopping!"

"It'll stop." Severus' voice was the only good thing I had in the situation. I latched onto it like a dying man. Not a bad description since it felt like I was dying from a broken heart mixed with dehydration.

"Water?" I gasped out. "Need water." Blinking rapidly I finally focused my attention onto Severus. He had his wand out pointing at the shell. I shivered at the sight, swearing not to drink anything he put in it, but he cursed and flung it onto the rocks.

"You'll need to wait, Alex." He pulled me towards the boat. "Get in and we'll go get your water."

Swallowing was difficult. I eyed the water of the lake. "Just one sip…"

"NO!" Severus yanked me away from the waters edge. My hand had been inches from the surface. "Not this water! We'll get some in a few minutes. You need to be patient."

"I'm dying," I gasped. "I need it. Please."

"No." Severus pulled me back up and helped me get into the boat. "You will wait. If you die before we get out then you can come back as a ghost and haunt me. Otherwise quit being an idiot and shut up!"

I ended up laying on the bottom of the boat while Severus rowed us back to land. I curled into a ball and tried to control my full-body tremors.

"Come on, Alex." Severus' voice filtered through my ear. "Get up."

Exhausted to the bone I slowly pushed myself up with his help. We stumbled back out the way we came. My body wasn't shaking as badly as before, but I still couldn't move on my own.

I heard the ocean before I felt it. The waves were crashing against the cliff more aggressively than they did when we got there. Drinking ocean water crossed my mind, but my logic was slowly returning and I knew it wouldn't help me.

"Let's go home. Your elf will get you your water while I go to bed. Now stay still." Without further ado Severus turned sharply on his heel and sent us a too tight straw.


	59. Chapter 59

Sleep did not come easily the following week after Severus and I obtained the locket horcrux. The potion I had to drink made me see horrifying visions of Sirius dying, or the other Marauders getting tortured or hurt. I occasionally felt as if spiders were crawling all over my skin. Like all of my worst fears attacking me at once. The nightmares just continued the torture.

Severus noticed but didn't say anything. His room was far enough away that he didn't hear me waking up screaming and crying, but he saw the dark bags under my eyes as a sign I'm not sleeping well. He never said anything about it, and I didn't bother bringing it up.

To add salt to the wound Barney started acting differently. He didn't eat as much, and he would only move to either get on my bed or go outside. Tasha also noticed his behavior and would whine at him. Old age finally caught up to him. A lot of good memories were wrapped around Barney, most of them featuring my mother since she was with me when we bought him.

Severus kindly offered to come with me to the vet located on the outskirts of Diagon Alley. I refused, preferring to have his last moments with just Barney and me.

When I came home from Diagon Alley with red rimmed eyes and Barney's leash and collar in my hands Severus bowed his head in silent apology. I nodded in return and disappeared in my room for the rest of the day.

Tasha sat on my bed and watched me hide Barney's dog-bed in the back of my closet. When I came back out Tasha whined at me, and I ran to join her on the bed. I cried into my pillow while Tasha laid beside me with her head tucked under my arm. She knew something was wrong and did her best to offer support.

Around two weeks after retrieving the locket Severus and I ate dinner in the main dining hall. More often than not I hid away in my room so Severus wouldn't see me fighting the images forever ingrained in my mind.

Now while sitting at the dining table my hands trembled, and I couldn't get them to stop. Despite this I told myself I needed to be stronger–at least until Voldemort died. That day would come soon enough. "I'm thinking of going to Gringott's today."

Severus looked up from his plate as if he wasn't already watching me from the corner of his eye. "For?"

"I'm going to tell them I'm searching for horcruxes and I suspect one of them is in their bank. I'll also ask for goblin ward-breakers to help me get the ring." I ate the last bite of my lunch and stood up. "While I'm put, please try to think of something we could do to get the diary from Lucius Malfoy."

Once Severus nodded I left the Manor grounds and apparated to Diagon Alley. I stared at the people walking and shopping without a care. None of them seemed weighed down by thoughts of war or Voldemort. Jealousy filled me. All of these people didn't have a single care while I'm here working to save hundreds of lives from dying at the hands of a madman. If anybody bothered to look at me they would see how much of a tool the job was taking on me. Spells can hide physical signs, but my eyes no doubt showed how tired I truly was.

In Gringott's I went to the first open teller I saw and requested a meeting with the head goblin. He sneered irritably and got up from his seat to lead me further into the bank. We walked down a dark corridor lit up with torches every ten or so feet. The goblin didn't seem bothered by the spooky atmosphere, so I did my best to appear unaffected.

The door at the end of the corridor had a gold plaque engraved with "RedAxe". The goblin teller knocked politely before walking into the room. I didn't know if I should've followed, but by the way the goblin shut the door behind him I decided I was supposed to wait.

A minute later the goblin came back out and grinned, but it wasn't welcoming in the slightest. "Lord RedAxe will see you."

Cautiously opening the door I never took my eyes off the eerie goblin until I closed the door. With him out of sight I sighed in relief. Then I remembered I just entered the company of another, more important goblin, so I turned around to find him sitting behind his desk. I bowed lightly before walking over to the desk. "Hello Lord RedAxe. Forgive my interruption, but I have two important requests that I'm hoping you will agree to."

"If you care so much about interrupting me you will skip the niceties and speak. Quickly."

Taken aback by the abrupt demand I found myself lost for words. Clearing my throat to stall for time I did my best to think of how I could plead my case, otherwise I doubted he would let me take something out of someone else's vault, no matter what it was. "I am currently hunting for the items The Dark Lord used to obtain immortality."

RedAxe rose an eyebrow. "A bold claim. What do these items have to do with Gringotts?"

"I have reasons to believe one of the, is in this bank. And I'm also hoping you will allow me to use a small group of goblin ward-breakers to obtain another one in a neighborhood called Little Hangleton. I would, of course, pay these goblins handsomely for their work."

"That's a serious call, saying Lord Voldemort has one of these items locked in our vaults."

"By my knowledge he gave his horcrux to Bellatrix Lestrange–" my answer was cut off by RedAxe's angry snarl.

"His what?!"

I took a step back, wary of the now angry goblin. A calm goblin was scary enough. "He made horcruxes in an attempt to gain immortality. Not really an attempt since it worked, but whatever." I awkwardly scratched at my cheek. "Hufflepuff's cup is the horcrux in Lestrange's vault, and I there are wards surrounding the Gaunt Ring, which is why I was hoping goblin ward-breakers could help me."

"Horcruxes are Black magic," RedAxe spat in disgust. "To desecrate one's soul in such a fashion is the worst thing any being could do. From the sounds of it he has made more than one?"

I nodded. "So far he's made five. I have one and can easily obtain Ravenclaw's Diadem, the cup and ring I'm hoping to get with your help, and the diary…" rubbing my forehead in annoyance I sighed, "that will take planning."

RedAxe drummed his short fingers on his desk. That was the only sound in the room, and it made me fidget nervously.

"I can spare six goblins to Little Hangleton tomorrow at two in the afternoon."

My eyes widened and a beaming smile spread across my face. "Yes! That's perfect! And…Hufflepuff's Cup?"

"We cannot just remove items from a customers vault, no matter who they are or what the item is."

"Well," I chewed on my lower lip, "I know how to destroy the horcrux, but it would also just end up ruining the cup. Do you know any rituals or something that would remove the soul from the cup and then put it into something else?"

RedAxe nodded slowly. "There is a ritual like that, but it will cost you."

My eyes widened. "Cost me what?"

He laughed at my reaction. "Galleons, Lady Winslow-Fox. It isn't an easy procedure, which makes it more expensive. We can put the soul piece into an animal or another object and destroy it that way."

"Wouldn't Voldemort feel it when the soul piece is destroyed?" I asked curiously.

RedAxe shook his head. "Since the piece has been severed from him he wouldn't be able to feel what happens."

My shoulders slumped in relief. That meant I could bring the locket here, remove the soul piece, and have it destroyed without anyone but the goblins knowing what's going on. I trusted the goblins not to say anything because they hated wizards and witches enough not to tell anyone anything.

"How much is the ritual?"

"One thousand galleons."

The amount caused a high-pitched whine to escape me. Just because I had a lot of money didn't mean I enjoyed spending it all at once. "So if I brought all five to you, it would cost around five thousand galleons?"

RedAxe nodded. "That's correct. We can only do one horcrux per ritual, so that would be five rituals."

"Okay, so, I will go to Little Hangleton tomorrow at two and get the ring once your goblins are done with their work. Then I'll come here and we can do two rituals. Should I bring something to put them in?"

"Yes. Bring two items. One for each horcrux."

Inhaling deeply I nodded once. The plans to destroy Voldemort's horcruxes were finally getting underway. The war was that much closer ending. "Then I will see you tomorrow, and after the rituals we can discuss payment?"

RedAxe accepted and I bowed low to show my respect. He nodded back and I left his office. The goblin teller was gone, but I remembered the way back. My excitement was hard to contain, and I waited to apparate back to Fox Manor before jumping up and down and squealing.

I ran up the driveway to try and lower the amount of happy energy in my body. It definitely worked, but the smile on my lips was still there.

I called for Mandy and asked her where Severus was. She wrung her hands anxiously. "I's not be knowing, Mistress Alex. He wore a black cloak and odd mask before leaving the manor."

My eyes widened in shock, and the happiness from before changed to panic. I hoped against hope Voldemort didn't know about the locket. "Thank you, Mandy. When he gets back please bring him to my office?"

Mandy bowed and popped away. I slowly made my way to my office to wait for Severus. From Mandy's description he'd been called away to a Death Eater meeting. I worried for him. From what I could tell those meetings involved a lot of torture. Unfortunately all I could do was Hogwarts homework while I waited for Severus to return.


	60. Chapter 60

Severus never returned home from what I believed to be a Death Eater meeting. Falling asleep that night was difficult because I kept tossing and turning. I only got a couple hours of sleep before waking up at an early hour. Time passed at snails pace. All of it was spent wondering about Severus and hoping he didn't get killed by Voldemort. I decided to wait until evening before sending Mandy out to find him.

At half-passed one I left the manor and had to take the Knight Bus to Little Hangleton. I made sure the locket horcrux was in my pocket, along with three pens from my bag, before leaving. Hopefully it wouldn't negatively affect me.

I didn't know where exactly the Gaunt shack was in Little Hangleton, so the Knight Bus dropped me off at the edge of a small town and I set off to find the shack on my own. The townspeople all gave me intrigued looks. No doubt everyone knew each other in this small community and outsiders were a marvel. The town was also surrounded by mountains on either side, which makes it harder to find.

Their smiles were welcoming, but when I asked about the Gaunt shack or Riddle manor their expressions closed off into suspicion. Three different people warned me against going there, and the fourth lady gave me the story about the two families. How the Gaunt daughter used witchcraft to ensnare Lord Riddle decades ago.

I already knew the story, but I gave the woman my full attention and nodded at all the right moments. Eventually she pointed off to the left, further down the road, and I would find it in about half a mile. I thanked her and she sent me off with one last word of warning. It was actually worrying because the woman sounded so disdainful when she said "witchcraft", and with magic actually being real I feared for the day muggles found out about magic.

No doubt the secret would get out eventually. I knew how advanced technology would get, and some day the magical community would be detected. That day would no doubt be disastrous. Some muggles might accept magic, but not enough of them.

The walk to the Gaunt shack was peacefully quiet. The village was about a quarter mile in itself, while the shack was another half mile away. That left a stretch of quiet open road for me to walk down on my own. It felt good to be by myself, and while worry for Severus was there it no longer felt pressing now that I was almost in possession of two more horcruxes. I also remembered Severus growing up to become a Hogwarts Professor so I knew he wasn't dead.

I reached the shack a little after two and saw a team of five goblins already working on the wards. Four of them stood at the edge of the colorful dome of threads while the fifth approached me.

He bowed low. "Lady Palmer-Winslow-Fox."

I returned the bow with a polite smile. "What's your name, sir?"

His eyebrows twitched, and I couldn't tell if it was surprise or annoyance. "Breaker, Lady Palmer-Winslow-Fox."

I nodded. "If I may call you Breaker you may call me Alex."

Breaker's grin looked shark-like, but by now I figured all goblins looked like that. "Lady Alex, then. The wards placed here are highly volatile and very dark. We can sense the _horcrux_ inside." The hate he used to say "horcrux" surprised me. "With so many dangerous wards intricately entwined like these the process is a dangerous one. I'll have to ask you to keep a safe distance."

I hummed. "That's fine. I can sit a little ways down the road and you can wave me over when you're done? I'm assuming it can be finished today."

Breaker nodded. "Correct, but it may take several hours."

Sighing gustily I walked a few hundred feet down the road and sat down to wait. The thought of waiting there for hours with nothing to do irritated me, but I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't even do magic because I wasn't seventeen yet.

"Mandy?"

My trusty houself popped into existence beside me. "Yes, Mistress Alex?"

"I was hoping you could get my trunk? It should be in my office."

Mandy bowed and disappeared back to the manor. In the seconds she was gone I admired the wards around the Gaunt shack. I'd never seen something so colorful before, and the moved almost as if they were alive. I wondered if they moved because the goblins were tampering with them, or if they moved all the time.

When Mandy returned she set my trunk beside me. I smiled at her. "Thank you, Mandy. And do you think you could check on Severus for me?"

She frowned thoughtfully. "Mandy be thinking so."

"Then please try to find him. Be _very_ cautious. I don't know what wards are around him or even what people he's with right now. Only talk with him when he's alone."

Mandy bowed and popped away.

I took out my potions essay and started writing. The side of a road wasn't the best place to do a paper, but I didn't have anything else to do. It was also the last essay I needed to finish before I could spend the rest of my summer homework free. I planned on asking Severus for help, but plans change apparently.

Unfortunately I finished the essay in a little less than an hour. The goblins were still working on the wards, although they did look less colorful than before. Not by much but I was certain some colors were gone.

I dug through my trunk for a book to read, but all I had were school books. Now that I thought about it I didn't own any books I could read for fun. All of them were school books.

While sitting there I thought about the town. They must've had a book store of some sort. It would take about an hour to get there and back, but it would pass time.

Carefully approaching the shack I waved at Breaker so he would come towards me. He looked a little annoyed at the interruption so I made it quick. "I'll be going into town. It might take me about an hour, so if you guys are gone I'll assume you took the horcrux back to Gringotts?"

Breaker nodded. "Correct, Lady Alex."

"Good. I'll be back in an hour then."

Since Mandy was busy searching for Severus I called Klaus. I asked moody elf to take my trunk back to the manor, and he did so with a sigh. I thanked him, which made him straighten a little, but otherwise his attitude didn't change. Despite his more rude personality I kind of liked him.

As I hoped the town did have a book store. While searching the fantasy aisle I was pleasantly surprised to find The Hobbit. I decided to get it, but it was a bit thin so I decided to get a second book as well. I had just enough muggle money to afford a second one. It helps that I always prepare for the higher prices of the 2000 years instead of the 70's.

I found something called "The Crystal Cave" which apparently took place in fifth century Britain and involved a young Merlin. As a witch myself I decided it would be interesting to read. I always enjoyed magical fantasy books, even before being born in the magical dimension.

I carried the books on my way to the shack, and when I saw the goblins still working I sat down in the same place as before and started reading The Hobbit. To my astonishment they it was absolutely nothing like the movie. In all honesty I found it severely lacking. The only that remained completely the same was Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli all died. Which was way more emotional in the movie.

The goblins still had yet to finish the wards, but I could now see a visual difference in the amount of colors. Hopefully they would be done before I finished the second book.

Around halfway through the book Breaker approached me with an accomplished smile. "The wards are down, Lady Alex. We are currently working on the wards around the cursed object right now. I must ask you to retrieve the object on your own, as none of the goblins wish to touch it."

Confused but deciding against asking why I got up and followed Breaker into the shack. It smelled like rotten wood and dirt. A thick layer of dust sat on every surface, and I could clearly see the footprints the goblins made when they walked through the house.

I worried about every step on the staircase, not sure if they would be able to support my weight with how much noise they made. Thankfully they held and I could get up to the second floor without falling through the floorboards.

The goblins stood in the hallway with their arms crossed. Two stood on one side of the door and the other two stood on the other. I entered apprehensively. The entire room had a very unwelcoming air, and I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

One of the floorboards had been ripped up from the floor. I couldn't see anything else in the room so I bent down to examine the hole.

Nestled neatly in the floor was a small, black velvet box. I cautiously reached down to remove the box, holding it between two fingers as if it were a dead rat instead of a ring box.

I vividly remembered the ring being cursed. Dumbledore put the ring on and it blackened his hand. I didn't know how long he had left, but the curse was definitely lethal.

Turning around I looked at Breaker. "Is the ring still cursed?"

He shook his head. "It should be completely spell free. All that's left is the soul that tarnishes its worth."

His hate for horcruxes surprised me again. Goblins obviously hated the thought of a horcrux, and I wondered why. It probably involved the dark ritual of ripping ones soul apart. Anybody would find that horrifying. I definitely found it horrible, but I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea of ripping a soul apart even while holding the evidence. Seems some magic in the Wizarding World will forever remain too farfetched for me.

"Thank you for all of your help, gentlemen. You will definitely be paid well for your hard work."

The goblins all looked pleased at the thought of being paid. At the moment it looked like goblins could be greedier than the human race. Money-wise at least.

I called for Poppet. The happy little elf beamed at me. "Please take me to Gringotts, Poppet."

She quickly grabbed my pant leg and brought us to Diagon Alley. I shook off the strange feeling if houself apparating and thanked the young elf. Poppet left with tears of happiness in her eyes.

Entering the bank I went to the nearest teller and asked for RedAxe. The goblin immediately led me down the same dark hallway to RedAxe's office. The head goblin welcomed me inside, and there still wasn't a chair for me to sit in.

I held up the ring box in one hand and dug the locket out of my pocket. "Two horcruxes. The third is hopefully in the Lestrange vault?"

RedAxe grinned. "The cup is ready to undergo the ritual. Do you have the item you wish to move the soul piece into?"

Reaching into my back pocket I pulled out the three pens. "Will these work?" I gave the pens over for him to inspect.

His thin lips pursed thoughtfully. "These should work just fine. Follow me to the chamber so we may get started."

The goblin lord led me into the banks lower levels. We took the roller coaster down who knows how far. Our surrounding were pitch black with only lanterns to light our way. I loved every second of the coaster. It was years since I last rode in one, but eventually it came to a very abrupt halt. It gave me a slight headache, but it quickly faded away.

I was led into a large, round room with a high dome ceiling. Two round pedestals sat in the center of the room, each one foot in diameter. Sitting on one of the pedestals was a gold cup.

RedAxe pointed to the empty pedestal. "Put one of the pens on the block, then come back over here."

Following his instructions I placed the pen on the pedestal. While doing so I looked at the cup in interest. It looked very elegant. A pure gold goblet with a badger standing in a field of grass. It was certainly pretty, but I didn't understand why that would be the item to represent Helga Hufflepuff.

I returned to RedAxe's side. Butterflies filled my stomach as I watched two goblins step towards the pedestals and speak in a harsh, unfamiliar language. Three of Voldemort's soul pieces were about to be destroyed. Only two would be left to get rid of. Technically one since the diadem would be more than easy to get.

My insides froze when I saw a black most start rising out of the cup. Both goblins began chanting faster, and the mist started crawling towards the pen. I couldn't remove my wide eyed gaze from the cup. It looked like it was vibrating, or maybe shaking. The black most became thicker until you couldn't see through it anymore. Just a large black mass slowly getting sucked into the small pen.

An ear piercing scream broke my trance. I hunched my shoulders and pressed my hands against my ears. I could still hear the scream, but now it was dulled enough to where it didn't hurt my eardrums.

A minute or so passed before the screaming abruptly stopped. I cautiously lowered my hands and looked over at the cup and pen. They looked the same as before. "Is it over?"

RedAxe grinned cheerfully. I found it wasn't a look goblins should make. "It worked perfectly."

I sighed in relief. "Perfect. And you'll return the cup to the Lestrange vault?"

He nodded and shouted something in the foreign goblin language. Another goblin ran into the room and conversed with RedAxe before taking the cup out of the room.

A second goblin entered the chamber with a wicked looking blade. It had a silver pommel with a foot-long curved blade. To a goblin it was a sword, but for me it was more of a fancy dagger.

He used the sword to cut the pen in half. The scream from before threatened to make my ears bleed, but it faded away before causing any real damage.

I looked at RedAxe in confusion. "I thought you could only destroy a horcrux with fiendfyre or basilisk venom."

RedAxe nodded. "And that is true. That sword is an old relic once used to slay a basilisk by our previous King. In victory they bathed the blade in the snakes venom and is warded to never fade away."

Frowning thoughtfully I approached the pedestals to put the locket on one and a pen on the other. "Would fiendfyre be easier?"

He agreed but didn't explain why they didn't use it. Probably because it was obvious. Fiendfyre was a volatile spell that could get out of control easier. If that happened their entire bank could burn down. The sword was easier to wield and much safer.

The same process happened for the locket and the ring. I didn't feel comfortable touching the ring because I didn't know if that curse was still on it. When I first saw it I didn't feel compelled to put it on, so the curse was probably gone. The goblins even said it was fine. Then I saw the black stone and froze.

RedAxe noticed. "Are you alright, Lady Palmer-Winslow-Fox?"

I stuttered a little bit at first but eventually said, "No, I'm fine. This one just creeps me out the most because there was a deadly curse on it before."

He accepted the answer and I gently set down the ring. At the end of the ritual I retrieved the ring and slipped it into my pocket along with the locket. I felt a little stunned and couldn't stop brushing my fingers over the pocket to feel if it was still there. It made me feel like I carried the One Ring from "Lord of the Rings". The thought sent a shiver down my spine, and I tried to ignore it so I could talk to RedAxe about how much everything so far would cost.


	61. Chapter 61

Slytherin's locket sat innocently on my desk. Even though I knew the piece of would that once resided in it was destroyed, I still felt uneasy being so close to it. I did my best not to look at it, but that was easy enough when I had trouble looking away from the ring.

The gold band became warm after holding it for so long. I never dared to put it on for fear of the deadly curse acting up and killing me. It didn't matter that the goblins reassured me two times that the spell was gone.

Half of me wanted to continue to stare at it while the other half wanted to hide it in a deep, dark hole where nobody would ever find it again. Resting innocently on the gold band sat a black stone with an odd symbol. A triangle with a circle inside of it, split down the middle by a single line.

The Deathly Hallows.

The Wizarding World didn't know the story was actually true. Or at least the items Death was said to create are real things. James had the Invisibility Cloak. To be honest I never gave the cloak much thought. Dumbledore had the Elder wand, and now I apparently held the Resurrection Stone. A tiny little rock that held the power to communicate with the dead.

James at least didn't realize what object he had in his possession. As for Dumbledore I couldn't understand how he used the Elder wand every day without care. Just holding the Resurrection Stone gave me goosebumps.

I could feel myself pale when I realized that, if I brought the stone to Hogwarts, all the Deathly Hallows would be in the same building. Possibly the closest they've been with each other since their creation.

The safest place I could think of was one of the family vaults. That would solve the problem for now, but if I had children one day the ring would eventually be found. I didn't want someone in my family to have to deal with this. Could I trust them with the Stone? I didn't really trust anybody with it. At the moment I couldn't trust myself since I seemed to have trouble putting the damn thing down. All I could do was worry about what to do with it while simultaneously thinking about the chance to speak to my mother again.

Finally–Finally!–my thoughts about the ring were interrupted by the unexpected appearance of Severus Snape. His presence made me jump, and I slammed the ring onto my desk before scooting my chair back in an effort to create some space.

My breathing was heavy as I stared at Severus in surprise. "Where have you been?!"

He rose an eyebrow while Mandy silently bowed and popped out of the room. "I paid visit to Lucius Malfoy. Yourself?"

I rose my eyebrows. "Destroying horcruxes."

Severus smirked, and it made me feel uneasy. "Speaking of horcruxes, your idiocy gave me a stroke of genius."

"My idiocy?" I asked incredulously. "What are you talking about?"

"Sending Mandy when you clearly knew why I left the manor," Severus replied with irritation laced in his voice. "Did you not think she would be noticed? A foreign elf entering a well warded manor of a noble Pureblood family?"

I stuttered several times in an attempt to give him an answer, and when I couldn't he smiled viciously. "And apparently neither did the Malfoy's."

My shoulders slumped and my eyebrows furrowed. "You've lost me."

Severus stepped closer to my desk, and when I finally realized there wasn't a chair for him to sit in I stood up. "Explain it in here." I led him to the door attached to my bedroom. Severus hesitated when he saw where we were going, but I didn't stop so neither did he. We took our seats in the armchairs by the fireplace. It wasn't lit, but I only wanted us each to have somewhere to sit. "Okay, please continue and tell me all about everybody's stupidity."

He rolled his eyes but didn't deny everybody being stupid. "The Malfoy family have all types of wards surrounding their property to prevent unwanted guests from showing up in their home. You can't Floo in without permission or else you're stuck in the system until you step out of a random fireplace. Apparating will cause pain almost on par with the Cruciatus Curse, and you end up on some snow covered mountain in Germany. A Portkey will just get you redirected to some plains in Africa, no pain.

"All types of different wards to keep out intruders, and yet I go to my assigned guest room and Mandy appears, telling me her Mistress sent her to check up on me. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

My cheeks puffed up with air and I slowly blew it out. "That…she got through the wards…and is okay?"

Severus nodded. "You're basically correct. She was able to get through the wards without a problem because she's an elf. All of their wards are focused on keeping out _humans_. Mandy, or any one of your elves, could get into Malfoy Manor without getting so much as a scratch."

"That's great?" It actually was great, but I didn't understand why he was so excited about it.

He obviously saw that and sneered at me. "She infiltrated their manor, Palmer. She got in and out with no problem, meaning she got through houses defenses in a way neither of us would've." Severus reached into the inside of his robe and pulled out a small black book.

As soon as I laid eyes on it I understood what Severus was trying to tell me. Mandy was able to get into Malfoy Manor undetected and go through the entire house with nobody the wiser. The perfect opportunity for someone to search the house for dark objects. One like the diary horcrux in Severus' hand.

I held out a shaky hand for Severus to place the diary onto. "When did you get it?"

"I asked Mandy to look the moment I realized how she could get through the wards. It was the same day you sent her to find me."

My hands clenched around the diary and I looked at him confusedly. "Why were you at Malfoy Manor?"

His jaw tensed. "Catching up with an old friend."

I rose an eyebrow. "I didn't think Slytherins had friends. Acquaintances yes, friends no." Despite that fact I didn't try pushing him about it. There was obviously a good reason he went to Malfoy, and I wouldn't force him to tell me. "I'll go to Gringotts tomorrow to destroy this." My fingers itched to write in it. I wanted to see how it worked and what the sixteen year old Tom Riddle would say to me. But instead I did the smart thing and shoved one of my desk drawers, not to be looked at until the next day.

While there I caught myself staring at the Resurrection Stone. This time I was able to pull myself together, and I put that and the locket in the drawer with the diary. After destroying the diary I would put the locket and ring in my Fox vault.

To be honest I wanted to put the Slytherin Locket in the Slytherin vault. I didn't feel right keeping an heirloom that rightfully belongs in the Slytherin line. The only problem with that lied with the current Lord Slytherin. If Voldemort noticed the locket showing up in his vault with his soul no longer attached to it, my plans to end the war would completely unravel.

Suller popped into my office. It interrupted the silence and made me jump slightly. The elderly elf noticed this and bowed low. "Suller is very sorry for scaring his Mistress."

I smiled shakily. "That's alright, Suller. What did you need?"

The elf's expression dropped, and he looked at me sadly. "Suller went to owlery to clean, but when he got to Mistress' owl's nest he realized the owl wasn't breathing."

My heart dropped to my stomach. "You meant Hooter…he's dead?"

"Suller is very sorry, Mistress Alex, there be nothing he could do."

When I saw Suller guiltily wringing his hands I swallowed thickly, then took a deep breath. "There's no need to blame yourself, Suller. Thank you for telling me, I will take care of him. Please make sure he's somewhere I can reach him."

Suller bowed politely then popped away. I stared at the spot he stood in for several moments before leaving the office. Hooter must've been around teen years old at this point, maybe more. Even without knowing his age I could tell he was getting older from the way he moved. I knew this day would come, but I wished it wasn't so soon after Barney passed away.

I made my way to the owlery, wondering how much more pain my heart would take before eventually giving out.


	62. Chapter 62

I asked Mandy to help me cremate Hooter's body. That way I could spread his ashes around the graveyard at the edge of Fox Manor's property. While there I saw my mother's grave. It reminded me of how I hadn't been there since the day I buried her.

Slowly kneeling by the headstone I wiped my hand across its surface to remove the dirt and dust that built up over the years.

"It's been, what, three years since you past?" I tilted my head questioningly. "No, two. I was fourteen when you died. Merlin, has it really only been two years? It feels like it's been a lifetime." The longer I sat there the more I started to talk. A little bit about how well I was doing in school, but then it transformed into confessing about how I felt about Sirius, and being scared about how I needed to figure out how to kill Voldemort.

Destroying his horcruxes don't make him weaker, it just makes him killable. There's no way I can duel him because I have no dueling skills. Not to mention he would've twice my age by now. Voldemort has more magical experience than I do, and knows dozens more spells than I do. Both of those facts make me want to stay as far away from him as possible.

"I would have to kill him from far away then." I mused to myself. "Maybe kill him while he's distracted? What would I kill him with? I probably can't use Avada Kedavra because it's not like I want to kill somebody. You're supposed to want to kill to be able to use that spell, right? Ugh, I'll have to ask Severus. He might have some ideas."

Brushing my fingers across the headstone I stood up and made my way back to the manor. I didn't realize how long I'd been sitting there. The sun set passed the horizon, making purple, orange, and blue colors streak across the sky. I took a deep breath and shifted into my bear form. It felt amazing. I hadn't shifted since that last full moon with the Marauders while we were all still in Hogwarts.

I promised myself I would run with them again some day. I would approach Sirius on the train, ask to talk with him in private, then explain what I've been planning. Obviously I wouldn't mention horcruxes, just that I've been working to get rid of Voldemort's immortality so I could kill him. And I would plead for his forgiveness because apparently breaking up with him just sent me into a world of heartache that I didn't even need to go through, if what Severus told me could be believed. Hopefully Sirius would be willing to stay friends and maybe once everything has smoothed over return to being more than that.

Severus decided to come with me to Diagon Alley the next day. Not only to see the diary get destroyed but so he could buy his school supplies. I realized I had yet to buy my things as well.

I grabbed the diary, the locket, and the ring before asking Mandy to take us to Diagon. Severus glared at me afterwards, saying he could've apparated us here. Technically I also could have, but neither of us had our licenses yet.

Gringotts was our first stop. I walked directly towards RedAxe's office with Severus following close behind me. He didn't say anything, choosing to survey his surroundings to try and figure out where we were going.

I knocked on the office door and waited until I heard the head goblin say "Enter". When we got into the office I bowed to RedAxe, like I usually would, and Severus rose an eyebrow at me. I copied the action. "Severus this is Lord RedAxe, the head goblin here at Gringotts. Lord RedAxe this is my acquaintance Severus Snape. He helped me obtain this," I pulled out the diary, "horcrux."

Severus quickly bowed when I told him who the goblin was. RedAxe nodded back before looking at me. "I'll have Gobstrain take you to the ritual room."

I nodded back. "I'll have the last horcrux on September first, and I'll bring it here the following weekend."

With polite goodbyes we left the room and found a goblin standing outside in wait. This must've been Gobstrain as he led us to the cart that brought us down to the ritual room. I put the diary on one of the pedestals and turned to Gobstrain. "This can be destroyed with the sword, we don't have to move the soul piece into another object."

He nodded tersely and called out in Gobbledegook. Another goblin came into the room with the basilisk venom sword. When they stabbed the diary I expected the scream, but this time it started bleeding ink. None of the other horcruxes did this, and I watched the ink with fascination. Kind of like its the blood coming out of the soul we just killed. Black blood to match its owners black heart.

When it was all said and done Severus hit me. I yelped and clutched my arm, scowling over at him. "What was that for?!"

He glared back at me. "You didn't tell me it would be screaming bloody murder!"

I grimaced. "Sorry. I didn't think about it."

Severus continued to glare at me, and from the looks of it my apology was not accepted. We continued our trip in silence after I asked the goblin to bring us to the Fox vault. Once inside I quickly placed the locket and ring on a nearby surface that held other pieces of jewelry before quickly leaving.

I asked Severus if he wanted to shop with me, or if we should just split up and meet back at the manor. He immediately chose the second option so I told him to please call one of my elves when he finished so he wouldn't have to apparate home. He walked away without answering. It wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either.

Mandy helped me bring all of my bags home first. Since I was trying to become an Unspeakable, and I had to take every single class, I had more books than most seventh years would. Even if I decided not to become an Unspeakable, at least I have all of these classes under my belt, so if I change my mind I won't have to take them again. Instead I'd just have to get an apprenticeship.

Back at the manor I asked Mandy to let me know when Severus got home. She informed me he'd been using Klaus to get his shopping and bring it to his room. I smiled at that and asked her to start making dinner. She happily complied, and I smiled to myself.

In a few short weeks Hogwarts would be starting again. My seventh and last year at Hogwarts. All of the years so far, put together, is just all drama. It was still an amazing experience because I got to learn magic and meet magical people. Hopefully by the end of Seventh year Voldemort would be taken care of, and my relationship with Sirius would be smoothed over.


	63. Chapter 63

As soon as the Hogwarts Express started moving I went down the train to check each compartment. Several compartments occupants gave me weird looks, but I ignored them. I was a woman on a mission. Of course after checking over half of the train I found The Marauders sitting in their usual compartment near the back.

I theist open the door, irritated now that I've checked practically the whole train, and froze when four sets of eyes looked up at me. All four boys stopped talking and stared with open mouths. I probably looked like a deer in headlights.

Now as I looked at them I felt terrible. The last time I saw them I broke up with Sirius (for no reason if I'm to believe Severus), and the only one I talked to was Remus, and only the once to tell him not to come over because I wasn't ready to see Sirius at the time.

"Alex?"

Looking over at Sirius I decided I still wasn't ready to face him. "Oh uh, hey. Hi."

"What are you doing here?" James narrowed his eyes at me.

My level of guilt rose. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath I straightened up and squared my shoulders. I opened my eyes to look directly at Sirius. "I came to apologize. I've been a terrible friend to you." I glanced at James, Peter, and Remus, "To all of you. I hoped you could find it in yourselves to forgive me, but I'll understand if you can't." After that I returned my gaze to Sirius so I can look him in the eyes. "When I broke up with you it was with the intention of protecting you."

His face twisted with confusion and anger. "I don't need protecting. I can take care of myself."

I smiled sadly. "I have no doubt, but I was afraid – am afraid – that Voldemort will try to get to me by using you. At the moment I don't even know if he's still interested in me or not," (hopefully not), "so I did what I thought best and put distance between us."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair in agitation. "Why didn't you just talk to me? We could've worked something out; done something else!"

My smile became difficult to keep up. "We do crazy things for the people we love."

Deafening silence filled the compartment. I squirmed in my place and got ready to step back and disappear when James abruptly stood up. Everyone looked at him with wide eyes, and he beamed back. "I have to go to the bathroom. Anyone else? Peter? Remus?"

Peter looked between Sirius and I then stood up. "Yeah, me too."

Remus gave us all weird looks before his eyes widened in realization. "Oh, right. We'll be right back guys."

As the three less than tactful boys rushed out James shoved me further inside. Sirius and I watched them leave with wide eyes, and jumped when the compartment door slammed shut.

Chewing on my bottom lip I slowly sat on the bench opposite of Sirius. I kept my gaze averted, looking around the compartment for something to stare at.

I heard him lightly clear his throat and I automatically glanced at him. He caught my gaze and frowned. "Why?"

"I told you why." I shifted so my whole body faced him. "I thought putting some sort of distance between us would offer you some protection. I was later informed of what a stupid idea that was." Grimacing lightly I absently cracked my knuckles. "If it makes you feel any better it felt my heart got ripped to pieces."

Sirius barked out a laugh. "Would it be bad to say it does make me feel better?"

Pain briefly lashed through my heart. "Maybe a little."

He noticed my reaction and immediately lost all humor. "I guess I can understand why you decided to break up, but I'm not happy about it. You weren't the only one who fell in love, Alex."

I inhaled sharply and connected my gaze with Sirius'. His eyes were solemn without a hint of regret for what he just claimed. Swallowing thickly I nodded. "Oh." Tears welled up in my eyes. At first from happiness, but then I realized I broke up with the man I loved and whom loved me in return. I didn't know how he would forgive me because I wouldn't.

"Um," I stood up on unsteady legs, "I guess I'll go, then. I hope you can forgive me for what I did–"

Sirius abruptly stood up. The amount of space between the two benches made it so that we stood flush against one another. Heat rose up to my cheeks, and I had no doubt I sported a major blush. "Uh, Sirius–?"

Two warm, calloused hands gripped the sides of my head. All I saw was Sirius' determined look before he pressed his lips to mine. I sucked in a startled breath, but after a few seconds my eyes closed at the familiar feeling of his warm lips moving against mine. We've kissed several times during our relationship, but none of them ever felt this passionate.

Sirius pulled away briefly, allowing us to catch our breath, before he leaned in to gently drag his lips over mine. "Never, and I mean never, do that to me again."

I kept my eyes closed and felt a tear slide down my cheek. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I keep hurting you and the others – even myself for Christ's sake. Wouldn't it be better if–"

Lips pressing urgently against mine silenced me. When Sirius drew back he had ragged breathing. "Look at me." I opened my eyes to see his stern glare. "I swear to Merlin, if you think I'm letting you get away from me a third time you're insane."

I laughed wetly. "I'm not so sure. I seem to cause you a lot of problems."

Sirius huffed. "You're not wrong, but they won't stop me from loving you."

I smiled and threw my arms around him. Not in my wildest dreams did I think he would take me back. I actually thought he wouldn't want to talk to me ever again.

"What made you realize breaking up was a dumb idea? Because it really was."

My happy bubble burst. No doubt Sirius still hated Severus, and wouldn't like hearing me say he was the one who told me. "Severus told me."

The arms looks,y wrapped around my waist tightened considerably. "What was that name again?"

I sighed and gently pulled myself out of his arms. "I asked Severus to live with me over summer break. He helped me out with a lot, so you're not allowed to say a single mean thing about him."

Sirius' eyebrows were halfway up his forehead. "Snape? Are you– he helped you with? You know he's a Slytherin, probably just helping you out to blackmail you later."

"He's helping me with my Voldemort problem. And if anything you should thank him." He scoffed but I stood my ground. "If it weren't for him I wouldn't be in this compartment talking to you right now. I would've avoided you all school year. The thought of owing Severus anything made him grimace in disdain. The Marauders really hated that boy and I had no clue why.

The compartment door burst open, revealing a smiling James. "Are we all friends now? No more moping around and moaning about how much you 'love her' and 'want her back'?"

Sirius growled. "You bloody–" he rushed at his friend to tackle him down. Both boys fell out of the compartment, letting Remus and Peter step over the both of them. They smiled at me welcomingly and I returned the gesture.

For Remus I offered an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about the full moons."

He just nodded. "I understand why you did it though. You have nothing to worry about. And you should probably know James wasn't kidding about Sirius' moping."

An indignant shout came from the two boys tangled up on the floor. Sirius' head popped up and he gave Remus a betrayed look. "Moony, you're ratting me out too?"

"Don't worry about it Sirius," I smiled ruefully. "Severus complained about my moping as well."

James lofted his head, and narrowed his eyes at me. "Snivellus?"

Sirius sighed. "Don't mention it, mate. He's apparently been staying with Alex all summer, and managed to convince her to take me back."

James gave him a horrified look. "Oh Merlin. Do you know what that means?"

They climbed up off the floor and Sirius rose an eyebrow. "No, what?"

"Snivellus helped you."

The two boys looked sick. I rolled my eyes at them and moved for the compartment door. An arm shot out to block the door. "And where do you think you're going?"

I followed the arm to see Sirius blocking my way. "My compartment?"

"Um," he looked around with exaggerated movements, "this is your compartment."

My lips twitched into a smile. Hearing that helped cement the fact they were accepting e back into their group. "My trunk isn't here."

He adopted a horrified look and glanced around a second time. "By Merlin, you're right! Come on gents, the lady needs to get her luggage!" Sirius grabbed onto my wrist and pulled me into the aisle. Looking behind me revealed the other three boys filing out. James looked exhilarated, Remus had a resigned look, and Peter had a smile.

A smile of my own lit up my features. My fears were dashed, and I was apparently back in a relationship with Sirius and still friends with the other Marauders. Some bumps might come up when it comes time to smooth everything over, but I couldn't wait.


	64. Chapter 64

Sirius kept me in his sights constantly. The first day back he tried to go to all of my classes with me, even when Gryffindors were supposed to be somewhere else. We fought about it until Transfiguration where Professor Mcgonagall finally kicked him out. I couldn't begrudge him his clinginess, especially since I also hated having him out of my sight, but it made going to the Room of Requirement difficult.

It took a week before Sirius finally became too busy to be with me. I never thought I would be grateful for those boys pulling pranks, but they needed to sneak around the castle that particular night for a prank on the Hufflepuffs.

I used the opportunity to go to the Room and search for the diadem. I searched for an hour before realizing I could just use the Point Me spell. Ten minutes later I had the beautiful headpiece in my hands. I mentally thanked the goblins for their ability to remove the horcrux, because damaging jewelry like this would have been sacrilege.

That same night I sent an owl to RedAxe. It felt odd not using Hooter, but I needed RedAxe to know I managed to retrieve the last horcrux, but it would be a while before I could get to the bank.

As I predicted Sirius remained glued to my side. He calmed down after being in Hogwarts for a month, and I could breathe a sigh of relief. Sirius no longer insisted on staying in classes with me, but I felt more comfortable sleeping beside him. Either in his dorm, or he would come to mine. Sirius would smile roguishly and tease me about all the scandalous things we would do.

To be honest kissing was the most common thing we did. Hardly scandalous, but we did take advantage of the privacy a couple of times. James tried getting details from Sirius, but I warned the dog animagus I would neuter him if he said anything.

With Christy, Beth, and Eliza gone I always sat with the Marauders during meals. During one particular dinner I was thinking about the diadem sitting in my trunk for the past three weeks. With a Hogsmead weekend coming up I could slip away and be back within an hour. The only problem laid with getting away from Sirius.

Tuning into their conversation I saw James staring wistfully down the table. A common occurrence, but usually he had a determined look in his eyes. Now he just looked sad.

"What's wrong, James?"

He glanced at me. "It's Evans."

Sirius snorted from beside me. "Isn't it always?"

I pinched his side, causing him to yelp. "Go say hi." All four boys gave me a crazy look.

"That's never worked in the past." Peter pointed out.

James through a bred roll at him. "Bugger off, Wormtail." He dodged the roll and smiled unrepentantly.

"It never works because he always gives her some cheesy compliment then immediately asks her out on a date."

"Thanks for reminding me." James said sarcastically.

"I'm trying to tell you to just say hi." I rolled my eyes. "Nothing else but 'hello Lily'. None of that, 'Evans, my beautiful flower, achieve great honor by going to Hogsmead with me'. Sometimes you don't even ask the poor girl, you tell her to go."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "And that's bad?"

I groaned and leaned my forehead into my hand. "Sirius?" He hummed. "You're supposed to be good with talking to women. How is it that your friend is totally hopeless?"

James shouted indignantly while the other boys laughed at him. I smiled, feeling a little apologetic but not enough to regret my words. "James, next time you see her coming down the hallway just say, 'Hello, Lily.' That's literally all you have to say. Nothing else."

He went to open his mouth but I held up a hand. "Nothing. Else." James deflated and went back to eating his food. The next time I caught him looking at Lily that spark of determination had returned.

An obvious change developed the week leading up to Hogsmead weekend. James walked around with a skip in his step with a glowing smile on his face. He was so preoccupied with thoughts of Lily he barely pulled off any pranks. In return I caught red headed Gryffindor girl glancing in James' direction several times.

I didn't tell James about it, but I did make sure he knew not to ask her out. As I expected he tried to argue with me.

"James you need to realize you've asked her out practically every day of every year. The fact you haven't yet is probably a sign to her, letting her know you're more mature than before. She always said no because you irritated her. Now you don't." He pursed his lips so I continued. "Don't ask her this weekend. Hell–don't ask next weekend either. Ask her the one after that. And until then continue to say simple things like 'hello' and 'how are you'. As the third Hogsmead weekend comes along you can start giving her compliments. Nothing over the top, like you did before. Small, like how you like her hair this day, or you think her smile is nice that day."

James took a deep breath and sighed. "This is gonna take forever."

I laughed. "You've been going after this girl since third year, and you think this will take too long? It will only be, like, three months."

He pouted and complained, but when Hogsmead weekend came around James happily informed me he didn't ask her out. I patted him happily on the shoulder then turned to Sirius. "I'm going to get your birthday present today, so I'll be going off on my own for a few hours. Meet you at the Hogshead around four? Maybe four thirty?"

Sirius nodded and stole a kiss. I happily returned it before breaking off from the group to find the outskirts of the village. Once there I spun on my heel and disapparated, immediately appearing at the front steps of Gringotts. I jogged up the steps and headed for the back corridor that lead to RedAxe's office.

I knocked before entering. Once he saw me he nodded. The night before I sent him a letter, telling him I was going to come and destroy the horcrux. I waited for him to finish whatever paperwork he had left then we left the office. It was our last trip down to the chamber, and I reveled in the horcruxes dying screams.

Before leaving I offered my hand to RedAxe for him to shake. He stared at the offered appendage in surprise before taking it. We shook once, firmly, before pulling away. He nodded his head. "May your gold flow."

Saying thank you didn't seem like enough. "And, uh, may your enemies tremble?"

RedAxe smiled toothily, probably amused at the horrible statement I made up, and walked back in the direction of his office. I stared after him for a while, knowing it was likely the last time I would ever see him again.

Before returning to Hogsmead I walked around Diagon Alley trying to find a present for Sirius. For a joke I bought a bouncy ball from the pet store, but otherwise I couldn't think of anything.

While searching I found a tattoo parlor. I scrutinized the outside before an idea popped into my head. It wasn't for Sirius, so when I finished I still needed to find something.

The experience only took a few minutes, to my surprise. All I knew was muggle tattooing, so I wasn't prepared for the burning pain it would bring. When I asked why it felt like that the woman told me they used magic to weave the image into my skin. I paid extra for them to charm them to move.

The end result had a total of eight paw prints. Four of them were dog shaped, each the size of a dime and black in color. The other four were bear prints. They were the size of nickels and brown in color. They circled my bicep to make it look as if a bear and dog were walking on my arm. The dog prints moved faster than the bears.

I left the tattoo shop with instructions on how to take care of the tattoos. They would ache for about a week because the magic was still settling into my skin. After that I would be fine.

In the end I bought Sirius a new grey cloak, some candy, and a dagger. It wasn't anything extravagant, so I had #1 Marauder engraved onto the blade.

As agreed I met the four boys at the Hogshead. Sirius continuously tried to find out what I bought him for his birthday. No matter how many times I shoved him he never gave up. In an effort to make him stop I told him I wouldn't show him my tattoo if he kept nagging me. It worked for four seconds, but it was only a stunned silence before he started hounding me for details on what it was and why I got a tattoo without him.

Everything was great until James spotted none other than Lily Evans sitting across from a sixth year Hufflepuff boy. He growled, a deep noise that shook his whole body, and Remus forcefully wrapped his arms around James' waist to keep him from tackling the Hufflepuff.

We beat a hasty retreat, James slung over Remus' shoulder. Once halfway to Hogwarts Remus set his friend down. James promptly rounded on me. "What the bloody hell, Alex?!"

I stepped back in surprise and Sirius wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders. "What did I do?"

"She's on a date with some–some–boy! I've followed your advice for two weeks and now she's taken!"

I rose my eyebrows. "Her choosing to date someone else is somehow my fault? I highly doubt this is the first time she's been on a date with some one. And I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but even if you had asked her she would still be with that boy instead of you!" He flinched back. "I have been trying to make you seem less like an asshole so when you do finally ask her out she will say yes!"

He sneered and shoved his hands into his pockets. An uncomfortable silence descended on the group, only broken once Remus spoke, "We should head back to the castle."

I couldn't take the silence and spoke up. "I'm sorry for shouting at you, but I'm not sorry for what I said." I made brief eye contact with James. "You really have improved, even without my help. Your pranks are funny instead of hurtful these days, and you're far less irritating."

James huffed. "I hate you."

I smiled, knowing he didn't mean a word. "You're welcome."

When we got to the seventh floor I broke off from the group. Sirius let me go with assurances that I would rejoin them at dinner. Before then I needed to hide all of his presents in my trunk and send a letter to Severus. Since I roped him into all of the horcrux nonsense he deserved to know I destroyed the last one, and now we needed some sort of plan to actually kill Voldemort himself.

I penned a quick note saying "the last one is destroyed. Meet me in the kitchens tonight at 12". I left my dorm thirty minutes before dinner to go to the owlery. With instructions to the bird to give the note to Severus Snape during breakfast the next day, I set off for the Great Hall to eat with the Marauders.

James sat glaring at the Hufflepuff table while stabbing his steak. I rolled my eyes at him. "You're being obnoxiously jealous. Tone it down and continue to do what I say when it comes to Lily. If you want you can start giving her those small compliments now and ask her out for the next Hogsmead weekend." The weekend wouldn't be until next month, but it was better than waiting two months.

James grunted. I didn't know if he was acknowledging what I said or agreeing with it. Either way I dreaded the upcoming month now that James would be constantly whining about the upstart Hufflepuff that was trying to steal his Lily-flower.


	65. Chapter 65

I crept through Hogwarts halls covered by a notice-me-not charm and a silencing spell. Two Prefects passed me on my way to the Kitchens, and neither realized I was there. Hopefully Severus would be there or else I would be very upset. This is quality time I could have spent with Sirius. Not to mention it was hard thinking of an excuse to be alone for the night.

Once in the Kitchens I dropped the spells and walked over to sit at the table. "When did you get here?"

He glanced up from the cup of water in his hands. "Earlier than you."

I sighed through my nose. "I destroyed the last one. All we need to do now is kill him."

Severus scoffed. "That's all? Kill the most powerful dark lord in history. Yes, I'm sure it will be a walk in the park."

I scowled. "I realize it isn't going to be easy, Severus, that's why I asked you to come here so we can make a plan."

"Do you realize how much I've risked for you already?!" Severus hissed. "We destroyed the Dark Lord's soul, and now you want me to kill him, too?! If he ever finds out about what I've already done he'll torture me until I can't breathe, think, or move, then he'll torture me even more! You're asking too much from me, Palmer."

"Severus, I am asking you to save the Wizarding World!" I snapped. "You realize we're in the same boat if he ever finds out. That 'if' depends on whether or not you're able to keep this a secret. Are you?"

He sneered. "It's only a matter of time before he finds out."

"Then we kill him before he gets the chance," I said determinedly.

Severus exhaled loudly. "Palmer, the Dark Lord is the most skilled dueler in all of England. Possibly the world. Only Dumbledore can hold his own, and even the Professor has never defeated him. How do you propose we, two seventh year Hogwarts students, kill him?"

"I don't know!" I threw my arms up in exasperation. "That's why I wanted to talk to you! I wanted to think of some ideas."

"Then think of them on your own." He gracefully stood up from the bench. "What we did over the summer will get me killed, and I barely managed to keep it from the Dark Lord during the last meeting. You would be wise to keep anything you come up with to yourself. That way if he breaks through my walls he won't know what you'll do."

Taking a deep breath I got off the bench and stood beside him. "I guess I have to understand, but it would help if you could tell me when he goes out on a raid? That way I'll know where he is so I can kill him."

Severus stared at me for a long moment. I wondered if he used Legilimency on me until he spoke, "I will contact you by owl. No more secret meetings in the night. My dorm mates will always notice my absence."

Sighing tiredly I nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Severus, for everything."

He sneered in response and left. Once the portrait closed behind him I collapsed back onto the bench and pressed my face against my hands. I thought I could rely on Severus' help to figure out how we would kill Voldemort. Unfortunately it seemed I would have to think of a plan and execute it on my own.

I understood why Severus no longer wanted to help. I didn't want to do this anymore than he did, but this wasn't a one person job.

Later that night I climbed into bed trying to think of a way I could kill Voldemort. One idea involved a mundane gun, but I didn't know how I would get one. Stealing one with magic would be easy, but I couldn't use magic outside of school until I turn 17 in April.

That idea became plan B. I went through my days in Hogwarts studying my classes and trying to think of more plans. Voldemort's dueling skills are unparalleled. No doubt I would never be able to sneak up on him to kill him. The Killing Curse itself is out of the question since I doubted I could use it.

I started to hope Dumbledore would kill him before I even had to. The more days that passed the more I realized it would never happen. Dumbledore never defeated him in the books or stories, so it wouldn't happen now.

All of my worries and thoughts made me withdrawn. Sirius and the others noticed and tried to coax me into telling them what was wrong. I would just smile and say "Nothing", making them share worried looks. I stupidly assumed they would be okay with that answer, and it caught me completely off guard when I went up to the The Marauders dorm room and saw all four boys already there.

Peter shut the door, and I turned around to see him standing there with his arms crossed. The determined look in his eyes told me I wouldn't be leaving without a fight.

"What's going on?" I looked around the room to see all of the boys had the same look.

"Alex," Sirius sat at the end of his bed, "for the past two weeks you've barely spoken, hardly eaten, and done nothing more than give me pecks on the cheek before insisting you sleep along up in your dormitory."

I huffed. "Well I'm sorry you're not getting sex every night–"

James snorted and Remus smiled, but Sirius growled loud enough to drown out my words. "I'm not talking about that! The last time you acted like this you ended up breaking up with me."

"Oh God, no!" I rushed over to sit beside him. "I'm not going to break up with you, I promise."

"Then what's going on with you?" James demanded.

"Nothing!" My insistent tone was met with rolled eyes and scoffs. "Why don't you believe me?"

"Because there is clearly something going on with you," Remus told me gently. "We've known you for years, and like Sirius said you broke up with him last time you acted this way. Something bad is obviously bothering you, and we're worried because you won't trust us enough to tell us what's wrong."

I tried denying it, but none of them would let me. Growling to myself I folded my arms and stared at the floor. Sirius smiled at my pout, but I didn't see it.

"Alex?" I looked at Remus. "Is it really that bad?"

My eyes flicked from him to James, then Peter, and finally Sirius. His grey eyes held such concern that my heart melted. I felt all of my worries bubble up in my chest, and I found myself speaking before I could stop myself. "I've been trying to think of a way to kill Voldemort. I don't have the dueling skills needed to defeat him, and the only way to get a gun would be if I stole it."

All eyes on the room were focused on me. Peter was pale, Remus had his eyebrows raised, and both Sirius and James were gaping at me. All the attention made me shift uncomfortably. "Guys?"

"You want to kill Voldemort?" Remus asked slowly. His disbelief was obvious, and I understood why he felt that way. Not everyone admits they plan on killing the most powerful dark lord in history.

"It's not so much a want as it is a need. If he isn't stopped he'll kill hundreds more people than he already has."

"You're crazy," Peter whispered. "There's no way you can win."

"Not in a fair duel," I admitted. "Right now I only have ideas, but they all involve him being so preoccupied that he won't see my spell coming."

"That's not a plan at all." James said.

"I know that," I snapped. My defenses rose because I did know how weak of a plan that was. Two weeks of thinking and I had yet to come up with something solid. The mundane gun could work, but I never shot a gun in my entire life. I don't know the first thing about them besides pulling a trigger fires the bullet.

"Let's say you have a plan," Remus went on. "How will you know where Voldemort will be?"

I smiled. "Don't worry about that. I have a guy."

"A guy?" Sirius' arm snuck around my waist. "Who is he?"

I turned my head to kiss his temple. "Just an acquaintance. We barely talk to one another, but he agreed to let me know Voldemort's whereabouts."

"Sounds dangerous. I don't like him."

James abruptly laughed. "Seriously, Padfoot? We're talking about killing Voldemort and you're worried about her acquaintance being dangerous?"

Sirius grumbled while pulling me closer against his side. I smiled at James and agreed. "Let's not worry about him at the moment. You guys are okay with me doing this?"

"Well you're not doing it alone!" Sirius exclaimed. "There's no way I'm letting you plan Mouldyshorts' death by yourself. With our luck you'll get yourself killed, and I'll be alone for the rest of my life."

My eyebrows furrowed. "You guys don't have to help me."

"Oh we're helping you." James laid on his back. "There's no way we're missing out on the plan of the century. Killing the darkest dark lord: Marauder style."

Remus groaned while Sirius wholeheartedly agreed. I laughed at the pair of them. "Are you going to prank him to death."

James abruptly sat up with excitement in his eyes. "That's it! That's how we distract him."

Peter looked at James crazily. "With pranks?"

"Of course!" Sirius got up from the bed and started gesturing with his arms. "Alex needs Voldemort to be completely distracted so she can kill him. We prank him with spells and things from Zonko's, it will put his full focus on the four of us. That way he won't see Alex coming."

Peter looked ready to faint at the idea of Voldemort giving him any attention. Remus looked unsure while James looked ready to jump up and down in excitement. I doubted he would feel the same once face to face with the Dark Lord.

"We need to think of some spells. Stock up on supplies!" James rummaged through his trunk and started putting a bunch of prank materials into a pile.

"Maybe Alex could wear the cloak?" Remus suggested. "Then she'll be completely hidden from view and he would never notice her unless he actively uses spells to find her."

James pursed his lips. "I don't see why not. It's better than a notice-me-not or Disillusionment charm."

Peter stepped away from the door. "Are we seriously trying to kill Voldemort? The Dark Lord? Whose killed hundreds of muggles and wizards alike."

"You guys do realize this could get you killed." I looked at each boy. "Only Dumbledore has ever stood up against Voldemort and not died. That was serious dueling, and now you want to try and prank him?"

James rolled his eyes. "We aren't trying to win, Swift. We're only going to distract."

"And irritate!" Sirius added.

I sighed. "You know, I've been working without you because I'm trying to protect all of you."

"Well I guess it hasn't worked since we're involved now anyway. And there's no way you can keep us from helping you with this." James said.

With one last look at all of them I sighed. "None of you are allowed to die."

Sirius grinned and kissed my forehead. "The same goes for you, love. Now let's start planning the prank of our lives."


	66. Chapter 66

My eyes darted frantically across the short piece of parchment. The words filled me with cold dread, and I shot away from the table and fled from the Great Hall. My thoughts were too preoccupied to notice all the eyes staring after me.

Out in the corridor a hand gripped my shoulder. I yelped and spun around to face a scowling Severus. My heart felt as if it would fall out of my chest. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," he hissed. "Did you have to be so obvious about it? Everyone in the Great Hall saw you run out of there. The whole castle will be talking about it by tonight. You're supposed to be subtle about this!"

I grimaced knowing he was right. "Tomorrow morning?"

Severus' previously agitated face turned grim. "Will you be ready?"

I gnawed on my lower lip. "We'll have to be."

His eyes glinted. "'We'? I told you I won't play a part in his death."

Sighing softly I rolled my eyes. "Technically you played a rather crucial part of his death. And besides, I wasn't talking about you."

His eyes darted across my body, and it must have given him an answer because he growled like an angry cat. "The Marauders!?"

"What about us?"

Severus whirled sprung and we both looked to see Sirius and James standing with their arms crossed. Remus and Peter stood a little behind them to carefully watch the interaction.

"Alex?" Sirius' eyes darted to me before resuming their glare at Severus. "Don't you and Remus have Arithmacy?"

My right eyebrow lifted. The question was obviously a not-so-subtle attempt to make me leave so they could face Severus alone. Knowing this I smiled sweetly and nodded. "I do, actually. And as a matter of fact," I looped my arm through Severus', "so does Severus."

The Slytherin grunted when I yanked him down the corridor with me. He forcefully removed his arm from my grip, but he continued to walk beside me. Hurried footsteps made me look back to see Remus speed walking towards us. When he got close enough I handed him the letter Severus sent me.

The Gryffindor took it, and when he got to the information saying Voldemort would attack Diagon Alley the next morning he froze. Severus and I kept walking while the bookish Marauder ran back to the other three boys.

Severus trudged to the Arithmacy class room in irritated silence. I decided to let him brood by himself. If he didn't want the Marauders involved he shouldn't have left me to plan alone.

I had transfiguration, potions, and charms with the other Marauders. As usual I sat beside Sirius for each class. His grey eyes pierced mine every time I looked at him. He obviously wanted to interrogate me, but I wouldn't talk to him until we were in a secluded environment. Sirius realized this, but kept trying to pass me notes. I hid each one in my bag and never responded.

When the bell for lunch rang Sirius urged me from my seat and rushed to Gryffindor tower. James followed behind while Remus left to find Peter. The blonde boy failed potions in sixth year so he couldn't take it again for seventh year.

The interrogation started as soon as we entered their dorm room.

"Why were you talking to Snape?"

I rolled my eyes and sat down on Sirius' bed. "I told you I had a guy."

Sirius eyes shone with realization before they narrowed. "You have Snape helping you? He's a Slytherin, you can't trust anything he says."

The amount of eye rolling I had to do started making my eyes ache. "He's been helping me since summertime. There's nothing to worry about. He's just telling me when Voldemort is going to raid."

"How do you know it's not a trap?" James asked.

"According to the letter he says to show up in Diagon. What do you think will happen in the middle of the morning crowd? I doubt they plan on kidnapping me."

The door opened, silencing all three of us. When Remus and Peter entered our view we all sighed in relief. Remus gave us amused looks. "Who did you think we were?"

Sirius sighed and joined me on his bed. "I don't know, Moony. We should make a secret knock or something." James nodded in agreement while I laughed.

"So," Remus' face fell serious, "are we prepared for tomorrow?"

Peter paled at the reminder of what was coming the next morning. I noticed his hands start to shake from nerves. None of the boys had their usual cocky smiles or carefree attitudes. The fact gave me relief. It meant they were taking the situation seriously.

"We have to be," James answered.

I cracked my knuckles, needing something to do with my hands. "Do you guys have everything you need?"

Sirius smiled reassuringly, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Don't worry, love. We've got everything under control. Do you have everything you'll need?"

I nodded shakily. My plan involved hiding underneath James' invisibility cloak and using a spell against Voldemort once he was sufficiently distracted. They would be the ones putting their lives on the line. Voldemort would be aiming to kill while they would irritated him.

"There is one positive to all of this." Peter, Remus, Sirius and I all looked over at James with hopeful eyes. Any good news would be welcomed. "We get to miss class tomorrow."

The dorm went silent for several moments. I broke it with a snort of hysterical laughter. Of all things to look at, James decides to focus on all of us missing out morning classes.

My laughter broke the dam, and the boys started laughing as well. I covered my face with my hands and soaked up their laughter, determined to commit it to memory. Should anything happen to them tomorrow I would never forgive myself. It's my fault they got involved in this. If I thought about it all the boys in the room would die anyway if I sat aside and did nothing. They would definitely live a few more years, but the years were terrible.

I slept in the boys' dorm that night. All of them shared their favorite moments from their time in Hogwarts. It felt a bit like a confessional, but none of us had the heart to stop it. Things took a funny turn when Remus admitted to using Sirius' toothbrush when he couldn't find his. James, Peter and I laughed when the dog Marauder chucked his pillow at the werewolf.

When James started talking about his crush on Lily none of the boys reacted with their usual eye rolling or mocking. We listened patiently as he confessed to truly liking Lily Evans and maybe even loving her. He even said he was jealous of my relationship with Sirius.

When we heard that Sirius and I gazed into each other's eyes. I saw the love in his eyes, which was no doubt reflected in mine. We shared a brief, love filled kiss, and when we pulled apart he gently pressed his lips against my forehead. We probably would have done more if the other boys weren't in the room.

None of us slept easily that night. Thoughts, worries, and last minute plan changes prevented us from truly falling asleep. We all knew we needed to be well rested for the next day, but falling asleep was impossible. Sirius kept a tight grip around my waist the entire night as if I'd disappear at any moment.

When sunlight broke through the morning clouds it felt as if a hand reached into my chest and grabbed my heart in a vice grip. All five of us stayed in bed listening as people woke up throughout Gryffindor tower. We planned to wait for most, if not all, of the students to go down for breakfast first before we left.

The five of us were the most popular group in the castle. I wouldn't say that to be arrogant, but the boys truly made themselves infamous among the Hogwarts population. My name came up often as well since I was dating Sirius, and friends with the other three boys.

Our infamy meant our disappearance would be quickly noticed. James tossed me his invisibility cloak while the boys gathered their pranking supplies. I noticed a lot of dung bombs and potion vials with neon liquids inside of them. None of the boys told me the finer details of their plan.

We left Gryffindor tower as nonchalantly as possible. Barely anybody was in the corridors since everyone headed down for breakfast. That left us open to head for the second floor and use the secret tunnel that led to the candy store in Hogsmead. From there we walked through the small village until we reached the outside of the wards. All of us took the apparition class in sixth year, and with final uncertain looks we disappeared. The resulting cracks of five people apparating at once were almost deafening.

The moment we reappeared in front of Gringotts we stiffened and looked around. Our shoulders dropped in relief when we saw everybody walking around the streets without a care in the world. It meant Voldemort hadn't attached yet.

The cooling November air made me cross my arms across my chest. "Where should we wait?"

Sirius wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "This is the busiest part of Diagon. No doubt he'll attack somewhere around here."

I nodded and took a shaky breath. "Then I'll leave you guys here."

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows while James asked, "What?"

"I can't be too close to you guys because I need to be able to view your fight from further away. That way I'll be able to see when I can, uh, go for the kill I guess I should say. Not to mention I don't want to get caught up in one of your prank methods."

Sirius wrapped his other arm around me and hugged me tight. I returned the gesture full force. He obviously felt as scared as I did, and we were starting to realize this could be the last time we held each other.

When we pulled away I brought up my hands to gently hold his head. I leaned up to kiss his cheeks, forehead, nose, then finally his lips. It was meant to be gentle, but Sirius exhaled strongly and deepened the kiss. His hands copied mine and he cradled my face in his palms. Their texture was rough from his years of playing Beater on the Quidditch team.

James, Remus and Peter let us have our moment for several seconds. They decided to nudge Sirius when they noticed passerby's staring at us. The black haired boy pulled away to glare at them, and they shrugged apologetically. He looked back at me with the utmost sincerity. "If anything happens to you I swear to Merlin–"

"Sirius," I interrupted, "I have the safest job out of the five of us. If anything I should be threatening you to be careful. You you better be careful Sirius Orion Black."

He nudged his nose against mine, and I backed away. I gave the rest of the boys hugs of their own before walking away. My fingers gripped the invisibility cloak with all the strength they could muster. They quickly started to ache, but I couldn't bring myself to loosen my grip.

Several buildings away from Gringotts I found a bench situated in front of a store window. Taking a shaky breath I sat on the wooden seat and started praying to God. I didn't believe in him, but it made me feel slightly better. Sitting there waiting for a murderous dark lord to attack made me scared, anxious, and antsy.

The anxiety level rose to a slight panic when I heard the first scream.

Just as Sirius predicted the attack started on this street. The one scream rapidly became two, and it doubled until the whole street became one panicked mass of shoppers. People began running back doing everything they could to get away from the attacking Death Eaters. I noticed nobody apparated away, and assumed there must've been wards preventing them from doing so.

I hid myself in a small alcove between two buildings. The number of people panicking and pushing to find safety also put me in danger of getting trampled to death. I hoped the boys were able to find safety of their own.

The worry made me snort. They were about to face Voldemort and now getting trampled was adding to my anxiety.

In the small alcove I awkwardly managed to unravel the cloak. I ran my hands over the silvery material. My thoughts flashed to the Resurrection Stone innocently sitting in my office desk at Fox Manor. Owning the Stone was enough for me. I couldn't wait to return the cloak to James. In order to do that I needed to leave the alcove and make sure I killed Voldemort before he killed any of them.

I left the alcove with the cloak in hand. If I used it now my chances of getting knocked into and pushed around were higher. The people already pushed past me, but at least they could see me when they did it.

A loud crack ripped through the air. It gained the attention of everybody. Hopes flared, thinking Aurors of Dumbledore made it through the wards. Hope died and terror replaced it when they saw the tall dark haired man staring out at the masses with glee filled red eyes. Everybody recognized who those eyes belonged to. The screaming returned full force, and some people even fainted. I levitated a couple of them out of the way to make sure they didn't get stepped on.

A sound similar to an explosion cut through the everybody's screams. Some people thought Voldemort blew up a shop, but those who looked saw the unmistakeable green smoke of a dung bomb. If they didn't see it they certainly smelled it.

I watched the curling smoke with a wide smile. Hysterical laughter bubbled up from my chest, and I did my best to hide it. One of the boys threw the bomb right by Voldemort's feet. I had no doubt it was James who initiated the attack.

Voldemort's previously gleeful expression changed to one of disgust and anger. With a flick of his wand the dung bomb smoke disappeared–only for a second one to take its place. The angry snarl on his face made it feel like my heart dropped to somewhere near my stomach.

The closer I moved to Voldemort the less people there were. I also stumbled across a few bodies, but I couldn't bring myself to check if they were dead.

An enraged shout brought my focus back to The Dark Lord. Pieces of glass lay scattered around his feet. Neon pink liquid pooled over the ground. His previously black robes now matched the color on the ground.

I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the laughter. The boys used the prank before. Whatever object the potion touches changes it's color. If the potion were orange, one drop would change your entire outfit to orange. In this case they managed to turn Voldemort's robes pink.

Seeing the darkest dark lord in neon pink captured the attention of everyone nearby. They all saw him trying to spell his robes back to their normal black, but the potion is designed to last for two hours. Voldemort realized none of his spells worked and he snarled angrily. The pink robe lowered the scare factor minutely. His rage was practically tangible.

My heart stopped when I saw James swagger out of the surrounding crowd. He had a fake smile on his face as he faced down the enraged dark lord. "That's a good look on you, mate." I could hear the way his voice shook with fear.

Voldemort must have heard it too. His anger faded slightly as he eyed his opponent. "You think you can face me, boy?" His red eyes surveyed James, and Voldemort smirked. "A Potter from the looks of you. No doubt just as stupid as your father."

James' fists clenched angrily at the slight against his father. No doubt it's what Voldemort was aiming to do. I saw James slightly raise his wand, as if preparing to start a duel, and I about had a heart attack when Sirius revealed himself next. He probably did it to try and make James relax. While smart I still felt ready to have a heart attack.

"Come on, Prongs, don't let the old man get to you. He's probably just grouchy cause he forgot to take his medication this morning."

Voldemort's eyes blazed angrily at the statement. I revealed to the boys everything I knew about Tom Riddle a few days earlier. I figured they needed to know everything they could about their opponent. Using it to make him angry was not the intention I was going for, but it was apparently theirs.

"Sirius Black." His name rolled off Voldemort's tongue in a threatening tone. "The disappointment of the Black family."

Sirius smirked, but I could tell it didn't hold its usual assured cockiness. "At least I have a family, orphan boy."

The air stilled. James and Sirius both coiled with tension and easily sprang out of the path of an oncoming killing curse. It managed to hit an unfortunate bystander who hadn't run away from the scene fast enough. I couldn't find it within myself to feel bad because it would've hit Sirius if he hadn't moved.

With the crowds slipping away faster Remus and Peter's presences became obvious. I was forced to put on the Cloak so Voldemort wouldn't spot me. When he realized he was pitted against four teenage boys he laughed. The sound curled into my soul and chilled my bones.

"You think you can defeat me? Four children when adults twice your age have tried and haven't gotten close."

Peter looked ready to pee his pants, but he somehow managed to talk. "N-Not re-really."

Voldemort noticed the complete terror the boy was going through and smirked maliciously. "I will spare your lives, however, so long as you join me. I'm sure I can find some use for all of you. And heir Black will no longer be the…black sheep, so to speak. Bella will be so pleased."

Sirius snarked at the mention of his crazed cousin. The sight reminded me of his animagus form. "I wouldn't join a hypocritical monster like you."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed, and his tone was gentle; hiding the obvious danger of the question. "Hypocritical?"

Remus cleared his throat, gaining the Dark Lords attention for the first time. "What was your father's name again, junior?"

Spells immediately began flying through the air. The Marauders all did their best to duck and dodge the oncoming spells, and everything they threw back was easily deflected. Anxiety filled me, and I had to swallow back the bile trying to climb up my throat. They weren't supposed to start dueling the man, just give me an opening so I could kill him.

I noticed Sirius' ability to block a few of the spells. His history with a dark oriented family obviously meant he new more about the spells Voldemort used than the others. I never put much thought into who his family was, but right then I couldn't have been happier he was a Black.

A lot of the time Peyer hid behind Remus. I scowled at the action, inwardly cursing his cowardly actions when he suddenly threw a glass vial towards the dark lord. James shot a blasting curse, but instead of aiming for Voldemort he hit the vial.

At least half the contents of the vial splashed onto Voldemort's shoulders. The hair on his head immediately started growing out. It reached his nose before he waved his wand and managed to cancel the affects. With the duel still going on he didn't have tome to cut the hair, so he had to fight with his vision partially blocked.

They didn't call him the most dangerous dark lord for nothing. Despite the slight disadvantage he still fought with scary ferocity. Almost as if the hair wasn't there at all.

Sirius shot a spell at Voldemort's feet. The Dark Lord stepped back, making the spell hit the ground instead of him. His feet immediately began sinking into the ground. It was the quicksand spell the boys used back in fourth year. They used it in the Great Hall and everyone had to get onto the tables so they wouldn't sink into the floor.

With a frustrated wave of his wand Voldemort cancelled the spell, but his feet were still partially in the ground. He stopped casting any more spells, and that made the other boys stop as well. The duel came to a standstill.

"I have played along with your kiddish duel for long enough." With a single wave of his yew wand all four of the Marauder's lost their wands. "Your little tricks are not what I came here for."

Fire started to curl out of the end of Voldemort's wand. It grew bigger and took the shape of a giant snake. My eyes squinted against the Heat the flames produced. It wasn't a simple Incendio spell.

Sirius and James knew fiendfyre when they saw it. Remus only ever read about it, and he never found a way to counter the spell. Trying it without a wand was completely hopeless.

Running further into the street I removed the cloak so my head and right shoulder were free. It made me and the cloak completely visible, but I didn't care. "Accio wand!"

Voldemort's white wand flew towards me. I caught the airborne wand and sighed in relief as the fiendfyre spell ended. The flaming snake disappeared, but the flames caught onto the building closest to it. It immediately started burning, and the heat from the flames remained.

Voldemort turned so he could keep the boys in sight while looking at me. He must have recognized me, but I wasn't surprised. He supposedly wanted me as part of his Death Eater group.

"Miss Palmer, is it?" His eyes were tight at the corners. The only visible irritation to losing his wand. "Return my wand and I'll consider letting your friends live."

My voice got caught in my throat. I had no idea how the boys found the courage to speak in front of the man, let alone have a conversation with him. Since I couldn't speak I shook my head and tightened my grip on his wand.

He hummed. "Pity." Voldemort raised his hand, palm flat up, and his wand was yanked from my hand. I watched in horror as the yew wand took its place in its masters hand. His spindly white fingers curled around the wood. He still held the boys' wands in his other hand, meaning the boys were defenseless.

He freed his feet. "It's hopeless, Riddle."

Voldemort's body stopped all movement. He looked ridiculous in his pink robes and too-long hair, but the aura of darkness flared around him. Goosebumps spread across my entire body as he turned to look at me. "What. Did. You. Say?"

"That it's hopeless. You won't win. You've been a failure since your mother abandoned you at Wool's. You've kind of become the magical version of Billy Stubbs. Do you remember him? 'Cause I do."

Voldemort was beyond angry. His livid state turned his eyes from rose red to deep scarlet. His wand shot out spell after spell. I had no doubt he dropped all intentions for me to join him, and he jumped straight for a kill shot. Screams of my name came from the boys, but I couldn't look at them or I'd risk getting hit by one of Voldemort's spells.

Just like the boys I did a lot of dodging. I had little dueling skills. We only practiced duels in Defense class, and that was it. Voldemort used that to his advantage, and instead of toying with me like he did with the boys he had every intention of killing me.

I started transfiguring objects to block the spells. It stopped a lot of them, but even then I always jumped to the side so I wouldn't be in the spell's path. Voldemort quickly realized what I was doing and used it to his advantage.

He shot two spells in quick succession. The first was a dark green curse, and I summoned a piece of broken building to stop it. When I stepped to the left to stay out of its path my eyes landed on the second spell.

I recognized the pale green light. It was the same spell Voldemort used to kill my mother three years previous. Memories of Mother distracted me for too long. I hastily shouted, "Protego!" Of course the shield spell didn't work against the killing curse. I turned my body with the intent of running away when the spell hit my left side; the same side that was covered by the Invisibility Cloak.

It spread across the Cloak, and I felt as if my entire body was being electrocuted. My joints stiffened and I dropped to the ground with my mouth opened in a silent scream. The noise around me dimmed as I stared blankly at the sky. I couldn't hear the boys screaming my name or Sirius crying out in anguish. I didn't see him fall to his knees with James standing protectively in front of him.

Voldemort's taunts never reached me. All I could do was feel the bolts of electricity run through my body. My heart felt as though it stopped beating. All I could do was lay there and wait for the horrible feeling to pass.

Nobody noticed the green spell dance across the surface of the Invisibility Cloak. The cloak clung to my arm in the same area where the spell collided. It was the spot where the electricity felt strongest.

The Cloak stopped sparking green at the same time I regained my breath. It no longer clung to me in a fit of static electricity. My head lolled to the side, and I stared at a piece of wood lying a couple feet away. It took my brain a few seconds to realize it was my wand. I must've dropped it when Voldemort hit me with the killing curse.

My mind started catching up to the situation. I clenched my fists (making my knuckles crack), took a deep breath, even lifted my head to hit it against the ground. Not too hard thankfully because just that little bit made my head hurt and neck muscles ache. Slowly moving my head down I realized my torso and thighs were invisible. I felt the Cloak covering me and knew it was the culprit for my invisible body parts.

Moving my left arm I slowly moved it closer to my wand so I could grab it. The moment I touched it I felt a surge of magic; similar to the day I first bought it when I was eleven. The feeling removed the ache from my muscles, but it left them tired. My arms felt as useful as wet noodles.

When I looked up I saw Voldemort still standing there in his pink robes. His back faced me while he stood in front of The Marauders. I looked over at them, terrified I'll see four dead bodies, but instead I see them looking completely devastated.

Sirius was kneeling on the ground with James standing in front of him. I couldn't see Sirius' face, but I could see James'. His eyes were red rimmed and he stared at Voldemort with utter hatred. Remus stood beside them and his Iris bled gold, a clear sign Moony was angry. Peter his slightly behind Remus with tears streaming down his cheeks.

My mind abruptly went into focus when James shifted enough for me to see Sirius. He was the epitome of devastation. Shoulders slumped, hands against the pavement to keep him in an upright position, and his eyes. His beautiful grey orbs, always alight with mischief and love, were utterly broken. They shone with unshed tears as they gazed at nothing.

Curling my fingers around the handle of my wand I lifted it and pointed directly at Voldemort's head. Too weak to cast silently I croaked, "Expulso."

The blue curse shot out of my wand and collided with the back of Voldemort's head. Expulso is a spell that causes things to blow up in a spectacular manor, and that's exactly what happened to Voldemort's head. Believing me to be dead, he had no reason to watch his back. It gave me the perfect opportunity to cast the spell.

His body collapsed to its knees, the head now a broken mass of blood, brain matter, and bone. The body fell to its side. The boys stared in shock while I slumped over. The cloak slipped from my shoulder as I sat on my backside with my right hand propping myself up, and my left hand limp on the ground with my wand sitting lose on my palm.

My head dropped forward. I felt drained of all energy; similar to what it would feel like if I ran a marathon in ten minutes.

"ALEX!"

I twitched at the sound of my name, but couldn't do anything else. The sound of running feet came closer, and a body collided with mine. I huffed at the impact that knocked me backwards.

Two arms wrapped around me, preventing me from hitting the ground. I didn't have the strength to lift my head and see who was holding me. They thankfully did it for me, moving one of their arms so they could hold up my head.

My blue eyes met awestruck grey before darkness blurred the edges of my vision. Sirius shook me, desperate for me to stay awake. All I could do was slur, "Sir'us?", before everything faded to black.


	67. Chapter 67

The first thing I noticed upon waking up was the pain. My body felt like it got ran over by a bus. I could feel every single muscle–including muscles I didn't know existed. My loud groans echoed throughout the room I was laying in.

Hushed whispers came from either side of my body, and both of my hands were grabbed. "Alex?"

The voice came from my left. I gave a closed-mouth groan and tried squeezing my left hand, but the only movement I produced was a twitch.

The familiar voice responded, "Hey, hey, it's fine. You're fine."

Somebody else spoke, "Peter, get Madam Pomfrey."

The familiar name and voice helped get my thoughts in order. "S'r'us?"

"Yeah." My left hand was squeezed, and I knew Sirius was the one holding it. "Yeah, it's me, Alex. How do you feel?"

My mouth fell open in an attempt to speak, but al I could produce was another pathetic groan. Another voice spoke on my right. "I think that means: 'I feel like bloody shit, mate.'." I recognized it as James.

Sirius huffed. "Excuse me for trying to ask my girlfriend if she's fine."

"Padfoot, she was hit by a killing curse." Remus' exhausted voice came from somewhere near my feet. "Give her some time to wake up."

"In all honesty she's lucky she's able to get up at all." James' comment made Sirius make a sound between a growl and a wounded dog.

The sharp sound of heels clacking across stone floors pierced my ears. "Mister Potter is quite right, Mister Black. Now, all of you step aside so I can see my patient!"

My hands were released, and I could feel crisp bedsheets under my fingertips. "Miss Palmer, I am Madam Pomfrey. Can you hear me?" I grunted once. That was the only sound I could produce with how drained my body felt. "Good. Can you open your eyes for me?"

I took a moment to breathe. When I started my attempts at opening my eyes I could feel my eyelids twitching from the effort. It felt like I was trying to lift cinder blocks with my eyelids. They eventually cracked open. And that made it much easier to open them the rest of the way.

The first thing I see is Madam Pomfrey's frowning visage. She stood on my right side with her wand in one hand and a sheet of parchment in the other. "Well, Miss Palmer, how are you feeling."

My left eyebrow twitched, and I grunted again.

Madam Pomfrey hummed. "Interesting. According to the diagnostic charm you're completely healthy. It seems the curse managed to drain you of all energy. I'm sure one night of bed rest will have you up and ready by morning." She turned away from me to glare at the four boys standing at the end of my hospital bed. "It's almost curfew, and I've already looked you boys over. Go back to your dorms! Miss Palmer will see you in the morning."

"But Poppy!" Sirius quickly went back to his previous position holding my left hand. "Let us stay a little longer. Please?" His grey eyes widened, and he used a full force puppy-eyed look on the stoic school nurse.

She stared at him for a minute. My breathing stopped at the tension in the air between student and nurse, before she caved. "You all have five minutes. Then I want you out!" And with that Madam Pomfrey walked further into the Hospital Wing and disappeared into her office.

Sirius sighed in relief and made room for Remus by my left leg. James retook his position by my right arm, and Peter was by my left leg. Peter was looking at me with a sort of dazed look. It made me raise an eyebrow, and this time it actually raised instead of just twitched.

James noticed first. "Oh, don't mind him. He's been looking at everything like that."

It didn't really answer my question, and Remus could tell. "After you…killed Voldemort," saying the fact out loud made Remus gain his own dazed look, "he's been a little out of sorts."

"And after you fainted Sirius went bloody insane," James stated. "Hunched over you, growling at everybody. I about thought he'd turn into Padfoot and start foaming at the mouth."

"Everyone wanted to get close to you," Remus explained. "After they realized Voldemort was dead they wanted to see who killed him."

"A lot of people started congratulating us." James looked entirely too smug while admitting that. "But when we started saying you were the one who actually killed him they wanted to see you. Absolutely barmy, the lot of them. I expect it'll be all over tomorrow's Daily Prophet."

All of the boys except Remus looked excited about it. In fact, the werewolf looked downright petrified. I could admit that I felt somewhere in between. Excited I would be in the newspaper, and terrified that people would make me into the savior of the Wizarding World like they did to Harry Potter.

The thought of it had me closing my eyes with a weary groan. Sirius sighed, and I felt him lean over and kiss my forehead. "Go to sleep, love. We'll come see you in the morning." I sighed happily and let my body relax into the hospital bed.

One moment it felt like I was listening to the boys quietly leave the Hospital Wing, and the next moment I was waking up to the afternoon sun shining through the windows and onto my face. I opened my eyes, an infinitely easier task than the previous night, and squinted against the light.

Turning my head to my left, then my right, I realized I was completely alone. The doors to the Hospital Wing were closed, and Madam Pomfrey was nowhere in sight.

With a steadying breath I braced my arms against the bed to start sitting up. I got to my elbows and stopped to take another breath, then used my hands to push myself up the rest of the way. The beds white sheets pooled into my lap. I stared down at them for a moment before slowly lifting them off.

"Miss Palmer!"

I remained on the bed with my legs stretched out, blanket halfway off the bed, as I looked at Madam Pomfrey quickly walking towards me. "Miss Palmer, please wait one moment while I perform one last check-up. I'd like to make sure you're in full health before I let you go."

Pomfrey raised her wand, and I jerked away. She noticed the reaction and paused. We stared at each other for several moments before I grimaced. "Sorry." My voice was hoarse, and it broke on the second syllable.

She smiled gently. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Miss Palmer. I'll just be running another diagnostic charm to check your vitals." A simple wand wave in my direction had a sheet of parchment appearing out of the tip of her wand. She snatched it out of the air and her eyes easily flicked across the page.

"You seem to be in perfect health. That's quite a feat for someone whose been hit by a killing curse." She looked at me over her glasses, and I smiled awkwardly. What did she expect me to say?

"What time is it?"

"It's currently 3:12 in the afternoon. You've been out for over twenty-four hours. I'd say you're lucky to have missed breakfast this morning. The Daily Prophet had everyone in an uproar."

I imagined the boys being attacked by a mob of Hogwarts students and grinned.

"You're free to go, Miss Palmer. Classes have been cancelled due to your actions in Diagon Alley. I'll warn you to be careful, Miss. You've become a celebrity over night." Madam Pomfrey walked away to re-enter her office.

I took a deep breath and slowly slid off the bed. When my legs didn't buckle underneath my weight I started walking towards the closed doors. The more I walked the more my legs stopped feeling like cooked noodles.

3:12 meant there was still around three hours before dinner started. I decided to get my school bag from my dorm room, then try to find the Marauder's. That way, once I found them, I could finish my remaining homework. The plan was good until I entered the Rvenclaw common room.

Eight pair of eyes look up at me when I entered the room. Sixteen eyes blinked at me in astonishment, and I stared back. They continued to stare at me as I slowly backed out of the common room and back into the corridor. Once the wall leading to the common room closed off I turned on my heal and headed for Gryffindor tower. I decided my homework could wait for another day.

A few students walked by me in the hallways. And by walk I meant I did the walking while they all froze in place and stared at me as I passed by. By the time I got to the Gryffindor portrait I felt ready to claw someone's eyes out.

The Gryffindor common room had twice as many people inside as the Raven claw common room. Just like everyone else they started staring at me. This time it was worse because them began whispering to one another. It was obviously about me, and leave it to the Gryffindor's to start gossiping before my back was even turned.

I did my best to ignore the stares as I climbed up the stairs to the boys dormitories. The door I wanted was closed, so I quickly knocked before opening the door.

To my disappointment Sirius wasn't inside. In fact, the only Marauder there was a sleeping Peter. Not wanting to disturb his sleep I quietly backed out of the room and shut the door.

With no idea where the boys were I decided to check the Room of Requirement first. To my surprise the Room was empty. With no clues to go on I decided to head outside. They sometimes liked hanging out by the tree next to the Black Lake, and lo' and behold that's exactly where I found them.

Surrounded by a throng of girls.

I stared at the mass of people in wide-eyed astonishment. Girls from every house surrounded the boys, and I could hear them yelling from my position several yards away. I huffed in disbelief, because really? Keep it in your pants, girls.

A few yards to my right I saw none other than Lily Evans standing with her arms crossed. She had a lethal glare in her eyes as she watched the fawning women. I sighed wearily and walked towards her. "Lily?"

We barely talked since the incident between her and Severus, but her head snapped around at the sound of my voice. Her eyes widened–a sight that had me groaning–but unlike everyone else she didn't freeze. Instead she smiled brightly and threw her arms around me in a tight hug. "Alex!"

I huffed when her body hit mine. Despite that I wrapped my arms around her in a firm embrace. I let the hug go on for several moments before letting go. Lily took the hint and backed away. The smile still lit up her face. "It's so good to see you. Everybody said you got hit by the killing curse."

"Uh," I scratched my chin, "I was."

Her smile faltered. "What?"

"I was hit by the killing curse." It felt odd for me to say out loud. "Everyone says it's painless, but it felt like I was being electrocuted. Not pleasant."

Lily's eyes were wide again. "So it's true. I thought the Prophet printed a bunch of codswallop, but you were actually hit by the killing curse? And you lived?"

"I certainly did." I looked away from Lily to see the boys still surrounded by screaming girls.

Lily followed my line of sight and scowled. "They're acting completely ridiculous. No doubt their new fame is going to make them even more arrogant than they already are."

I sighed. "I won't argue with that. No doubt Sirius will be insufferable." The thought of this coming between our relationship truly worried me. Would the fame get to his head? Would it get to mine? Then I noticed Remus' expression and snorted. "At least we know Remus won't change."

Lily squinted to see what I meant, and when she realized what I meant she threw her head back and laughed. The amber haired boy was practically gluing himself to the trees trunk. The terrified expression on his face as he looked at the sea of girls made me feel amused and sympathetic.

A poke on my arm made me look away from the scene to see on of the first years staring at me with hope-filled green eyes. "Are you Alex Palmer?"

I smiled. "I am."

The girl bit her lip then looked behind her. I followed her gaze to see three other first year girls watching us anxiously. "My friends and I were, I'm, were wondering if you would give us an autograph?"

My smile dropped as I blinked in astonishment. "An autograph? Why?"

The first year looked at me as if I was the crazy one. "Because you're the Hero of the Wizarding World."

I scrunched my nose. "Hero? Since when?"

"When you killed You-Know-Who!" The girl shouted excitedly.

That shout caught the attention of some of the girls surrounding the Marauder's. They lost interest in the boys when they spotted me standing within running distance.

Which is exactly what they stared doing. One of them shouted my name and started jogging towards me. That managed to get more people attention, and soon all the girls abandoned the Marauder's so they could meet the "Hero of the Wizarding World."

Lily and I watched the approaching mob with horrified eyes. Lily let out a high-pitched yell and started sprinting for the castle. I followed her example and tried running for it.

Of course with me being fresh out of the Hospital Wing and my muscles still weak I stumbled several times. Lily noticed and grabbed onto my arm to pull me along with her. If anything that only served to make me trip over myself even more.

"Save yourself!" I shouted at her. Instead of taking my advice the red headed girl brought us to a halting stop. She moved in front of me and took out her wand. The approaching mob saw this and came to a slow stop.

Lily narrowed her eyes and surveyed the group of girls. "Take another step closer and I'll hex you till your toes are blue."

Nobody said a word for several tense moments. We all stared at each other until a familiar voice broke the silence.

"Alex!" My 6'2" boyfriend rounded the group of girls and pulled me into his arms. He pushed his face against the top of my head while I squished myself against his chest. I could've sworn I heard admiring sighs, but James started yelling.

"Alright you lot, I've had enough of your irritating voices to last me the rest of my life!"

I moved my head so I could give James an incredulous stare. He took no notice, as he was too busy yelling at the mob of girls. "Bloody hell, give the woman some space! Go on! Shoo!"

The crowd slowly dispersed. A lot of them gave James sullen glares the whole time, but they still left us alone. Remus and I both sighed with relief while Sirius and James sighed in exhaustion.

It made me laugh. "I would've thought you boys would love the attention."

"Dear Merlin," James dragged a hand over his face, "They wouldn't leave us alone all day! Even girls in Slytherin were flirting with us!" He threw his hands up. "Why did I ever agree to help you beat Voldemort? All it's done it cause a great bloody headache."

"Not that long ago you seemed to be soaking it up the attention, Potter."

We all turned to see Lily looking at James with a blank stare. For the first time since third year the be speckled boy didn't become an idiot in her presence. "That wasn't soaking it up, Evans, that was us being completely overwhelmed! They were all yelling, and asking questions. I mean, yeah, it was cool at first–brilliant actually. Now I just want it to stop."

Lily hummed. "I see." After staring at James for a moment longer her expression warmed. It obviously shocked the stag animagus, and his previous irritation drained out of him.

She looked at me. "I'll see you later, Alex."

I nodded and the Head girl started walking towards the castle. We watched her for a moment before I felt Sirius sigh. "What are you doing out here, Alex? You should be in the Hospital Wing."

I pulled away and locked hands with him. "Madam Pomfrey said I could leave. Now can someone please tell me what the hell the Prophet wrote about this morning."

Remus sighed and James smiled goofily. "Right this way, Miss Hero of the Wizarding World."


	68. Chapter 68

I dropped the Daily Prophet onto my lap with a blank expression. The headline alone made me sigh, but the story itself made me want to burn the whole paper. Logically I knew there would be a huge uproar in the magical community after Voldemort was defeated. He caused so much terror within Britain's magical community in such a short amount of time. With him gone Britain could finally relax.

"Are they serious?" I shook the paper. "'Hero of the Wizarding World', 'Savior Against the Dark', and my personal favorite," sarcasm practically dripped off of my words, "'Noblest Hero'."

Sirius hugged me from behind. "I actually like 'The-Woman-that-Conquered'."

I turned in his arms to glare hatefully while James snickered. The nickname reminded me too much of _Harry Potter_ for me to even say it. "Nobody asked for your opinion, babe."

His chest rumbled from muffled laughter as he kissed my temple.

The Marauder's and I had headed straight for their dorm room after our reunion on the school grounds. Sirius stashed one of the Prophet's newspapers inside his trunk, so we all decided to relax in their dorm until dinner. It gave me the time to read through the front page story of our battle against Voldemort. It had firsthand accounts from bystanders, meaning a lot of the story was fabricated because none of us made any comments. The story also managed to fill the entire first page with only words. A gory picture of Voldemort's headless body was on the third page, along with accounts of all his Death Eater attacks.

"I get to say I'm best friends with the Hero of the Wizaring World," James said smugly.

Remus snorted while Sirius laughed, "I get to say I'm the boyfriend of the Wizarding worlds Noblest Hero."

The boys' later fueled my irritation. "Keep it up and I'll find new friends, and a new boyfriend."

Sirius and James gasped in fake indignation. "You wouldn't dare!" James exclaimed while Sirius tickled me in retaliation.

I gasped and wiggled out of his grip. "Sirius, please!" When I made it out of his reach body slid to the floor. The tickling made my still-weak muscles clench, and the experience was highly uncomfortable.

Sirius swore and carefully picked me up. "Merlin, Alex, I'm so sorry!"

He set me on his bed while I waved off his apology. "Don't worry about, Sirius. My muscles are just weak, is all."

Sirius refused to let me out of his arms. Even while walking up to their dorm he kept at least one arm around my shoulders, or held hands with me. I didn't deny the attention, and if anything the contact helped me relax.

"So," Remus tilted his head, "how did you survive the curse?"

Sirius grunted, and James stared at him with wide eyes, "Mate, you can't just ask something like that."

Remus blushed. "I'm curious. She didn't summon anything to block the killing curse, and we all saw it hit her."

The growl from Sirius made him stop talking. I quickly grabbed his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "It actually didn't hit me."

They shared confused looks. "Well what did it hit?" Peter asked.

"His Invisibility Cloak," I replied simply. "I was still wearing it when he casted the spell, so when it hit I guess the cloak absorbed it."

Remus hummed thoughtfully. "I've never heard of something like that happening. James, what enchantments are on your cloak."

He shrugged while I remained silent. "Nothing. Only the spells that make it an invisibility cloak."

"I don't really care about why it happened," Sirius squeezed my hand, "just that it happened."

The five of us fell into a comfortable silence. I went back to leaning against Sirius while glancing over the Daily Prophet story. With the amount of incorrect accounts I felt the urge to have an interview of my own. That way people would know everything that happened.

"We should probably head down for dinner," Remus sighed.

When the rest of the boys adopted looks of despair I grew alarmed. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, yeah, you missed lunch," James grimaced.

Peter grumbled, and I heard him say the word, "Lucky."

I gave them each a wide eyed look until I stared at Sirius. "What happened at lunch?"

"Well," Sirius sighed gustily, "by that point everybody had read the Prophet, so they knew about the five of us beating Voldemort. Everybody swarmed us as soon as we sat down."

"Remus finally got a girl to ask him out," James joyfully tacked on. "So did Peter."

Said boys chucked a pillow at their brunette friend. He made an indignant noise after one of the pillows smacked him in the face, but he went ignored.

"The attention was nice at first," Sirius admitted, "but they watched us eat, and kept asking us about what happened, and then someone mentioned your name, and then they all started yelling at us!"

Remus nodded in agreement. "The noise level was so high I couldn't hear myself think."

"Professor Dumbledore finally got them all to back off," James continued the story. "That's when we all went outside by our tree, and apparently we were followed. Thankfully you showed up soon afterwards because I was ready to start hexing people."

"I thought you guys looked rather pleased by all the attention." Their grimaces made me smile. "I guess I was wrong."

"It was nice at first," Sirius admitted. He pulled me up from the bed, and the five of us headed out of the dorm. "Then it got out of hand when they started asking us out on dates, and saying they love us."

Irrational jealousy heated my chest. "I'm the only one that loves you, and you better remember that!" When I turned to jab my finger into his chest, he caught the appendage with a warm smile.

"Course, love." He pressed a swift kiss to my knuckles.

"If anyone needs a warning it's you, Swift," James commented. "Guys will probably flock to you like the girls did with us."

Sirius looked as horrified as I felt when James brought that fact to our attention. I didn't think about how the fame would make guys want to date me. "Dear Merlin, why did you guys let me kill Voldemort?"

"Because nobody told us about the consequences," Remus replied grimly.

Our group entered the Great Hall as quietly as possible. I thought it was a miracle since Sirius and James were never afraid to announce their presence. It only proved to me how much they hated the new attention. There was no denying the boys enjoyed the spotlight (besides maybe Remus), but it seemed they finally reached a level that made them uncomfortable.

I sat between Remus and Sirius, with Peter and James sitting across from us. Despite how uncharacteristically quiet we were being, people still noticed us. In the past they would glance over at us then ignore us. Now they looked over and stared, while unsubtly whispering to their neighbor.

Sirius and the others acted completely unaffected. To them the situation was tame compared to lunch hour. I, on the other hand, had no preparation. The boys noticed this and managed to huddle even closer together. It felt like we were closing off everyone outside of us, and it helped me breathe easier. Center of attention was never a good place for me. Not with that amount of attention, at least.

After dessert disappeared from the tables I was more than ready to run back to Gryffindor Tower. Unfortunately we were delayed when Dumbledore stood up from his seat at the Head Table.

"Ladies and Gentleman, if I could have your attention, please." The conversations that rose throughout the meal slowly died away. "Thank you. Now, as I'm sure we all have heard, the Dark Lord Voldemort is gone!" The Great Hall filled with deafening cheers. Dumbledore had to cast a _Sonorus_ on himself to be heard over the noise. "Yes, yes, these are truly wondrous times, and such times are here because of five students sitting in this very room."

Almost in unison, every pair of eyes in the room turned to me and The Marauder's. We straightened in our seats, despite how much I'd rather hide under the table.

"James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and Alex Palmer; please rise." We glanced at each other as we slowly stood up from the benches. "For your bravery, your strength, and your wits, I award each of you five-hundred points."

The student-body roared in approval. They cheered and clapped, with Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff's making the loudest ruckus. Slytherin's were more subdued: clapping politely, showing the support everybody expected, but the older the Slytherin the less emotion they revealed.

When Dumbledore got everyone wet once again he made on last announcement. "And you shall each receive a Special Award for Services to the School."

All that did was make everybody cheer even louder. I just plastered a polite smile across my face, and gently tugged on Sirius' robe. We slowly meandered out of the Hall with small waves and cheap smiles. When we made it out of sight we broke into a sprint. Not stopping until we got stuck on the moving staircase leading to the fifth floor.

"I'll ask again," I gasped through my exhausted panting, "why did you guys let me kill Voldemort?"

James sighed roughly, finally regaining his breath after running up four flights of stairs. "It sounded like a good idea–at the time."

Peter was still wheezing. "Because we're idiots."

Breathy laughter filled the staircase. We slowly climbed up the rest of the flight until we reached the landing. The staircase leading up was still somewhere below us, so we took the time to catch our breath while we waited for the stairs to come up. When they did rise they carried hitchhikers up with them.

"Lily," I said pleasantly, "how are you?"

She smiled. "I'm good. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Marlene and I noticed how upset you looked during dinner."

"I'll be fine, thank you." I nodded gratefully to the two girls. Marlene may not have noticed since she was busy staring at Remus. "I'm not used to everybody staring at me like that."

"Well, I'm sure the boys will be able to help you with that," Lily's smile turned sharp.

"Actually, Lily, we don't exactly enjoy this type of attention either," Remus admitted.

She looked surprised. "Oh. But you guys pull pranks all the time."

"Not for attention," Sirius said. "It's more to make people laugh. That attention was fine, but this is way above what we're used to."

"It's bloody irritating, is what it is," James grouched while crossing his arms. "We can't even eat in peace without someone watching how we hold our forks. Ridiculous."

"Odd," Lily stared at James with a questioning look. "I would've thought you would love this kind of attention."

"This isn't just attention, Lily, this is…is…"

"Obsession?" Remus suggested.

"Yeah." James tilted his head thoughtfully. "Yeah, the staring is kind of obsessive, isn't it? Annoying buggers." He ran a hand through his hair and squinted at Lily. "Did you cut your hair?"

Lily self-consciously tugged on the red strands. "No. Why?"

He hummed. "Nothing. Looks nice today, is all."

I watched with amazement as a pleased flush brightened her and I quickly exchanged a wide-eyed look while Lily quietly thanked James for the genuine compliment.

"Alex," I returned me attention to Lily, "you'll never believe what happened to me."

My eyebrows furrowed as I started climbing the stairs; prompting everybody else to start moving as well. "What?"

"The first-year that asked you for an autograph asked me for one as well."

"What?!" A few portraits complained about the volume of my voice, but I ignored them. "Really?"

She nodded. "Said they saw me talking to you, so we must've been friends, and asked me for my autograph."

"Did you give it?" Peter asked curiously.

"Of course not!" Lily exclaimed. "I haven't done anything more than talk to Alex. It was very strange."

A throat was cleared, and we all looked at Marlene. She immediately blushed under our stares but soldiered on. "Would now be a good or bad time to ask you for an autograph?"

Lily groaned in embarrassment while the rest of us laughed. When my laughter died down I sighed. "I'll have to think about it, Marlene. Is it okay if I call you Marlene?"

She nodded enthusiastically and I huffed out another laugh. The abrupt turn around from being a general nobody to having people want my autograph was mind boggling. It would take me weeks to get accustomed to it, but I hoped by the time I got used to it the attention would die down.

"How long do we have until they find us again?" Peter asked worriedly.

Lily hummed. "Curfew is seven for the first years, so that gives us a little over an hour before everyone starts heading for the common room."

The Marauder's and I breathed sighs of relief. It would be nice to have an hour of quiet time without anybody staring. Except for Marlene, although her stare was beginning to lose its intensity.

Our level of relief rose when we discovered nobody else in the common room. The seven of us sat down on the couch and armchairs near the fireplace. The warm flames had burst into life as soon as we entered.

Now with our previous conversation over our group fell into silence. It steadily grew awkward as the seconds passed, and I tried ignoring it by cuddling further against Sirius' side. Thankfully the silence was broken by James when he asked Lily, "What did you do today?"

"Well," Lily spoke slowly as she remembered what she did, "I finished my Charms essay in the library, then I hung out with Marlene until lunch. Oh, and I also found out five people I know defeated Voldemort. So all in all I think it was a pretty good day."

Nobody really knew how to respond after her Voldemort comment. We sat there in contemplative silence until I hummed thoughtfully. "He's actually gone, you guys." They looked at me questioningly. "Voldemort is dead. The Wizarding World doesn't have to worry about reading any more attacks or murders in the paper."

The fact he was gone still hadn't settled with me. Judging by the looks on their faces they hadn't truly processed it either.

"I don't have to worry about my mum anymore," Peter breathed.

"Or my parents," Remus tacked on excitedly.

"I can tell my parents, too!" Lily jumped out of her seat. "They always worried about me since I've told them about him. This is great!"

She ran for the staircase leading up to the girl dormitories. Marlene ran after her to stay with her friend. When they reached the bottom of the stairs James called out, "Lily!"

Lily stopped with one foot on the step. She turned her torso so she could look at James. "Yes, Potter?"

The use of his last name made him wince, but he gathered his Gryffindor courage to ask her a question. "Will you go to Hogsmead with me next weekend?"

She watched him with a piercing stare while everyone else in the room held their breath. Usually she always answers with an immediate, "No!" Followed by several choice names that never failed to make him look like a kicked puppy.

Her emerald eyes were slits. "I won't go out with you just because you're famous now, Potter."

He impatiently shook his head. "What does fame have to do with wanting to go out with you?"

She tilted her head, and her stare became less harsh. "You want to go out with me?"

Sirius choked on his laughter. "Evans, he's wanted to date you since third year. Why do you think he asks you out all the time?"

"Padfoot!" James chucked a couch cushion at his best friend, managing to hit me as well. I quickly grabbed the cushion before Sirius could retaliate.

"Potter." Lily's impatient tone made everybody return their focus to the conversation at hand. "You've been dating since fourth year. Why would I believe you want to date me?"

His eyebrows furrowed confusedly. "I only went out with those girls because they asked me. The only girl I've ever asked out is you."

Lily's eyes widened at that, as did mine and Marlene's. That was one of the most touching things I'd ever heard James say.

Judging by Lily's uncomfortable look she didn't know how to feel about the information. "I see." She delicately chewed on her lower lip before sighing. "I'll have to think about it. I'll let you know tomorrow," and with that she quickly fled up the stairs.

We all stared at the newly empty space with surprise. That was the closest James ever got to a yes from Lily.

"I feel like we should celebrate," I murmured thoughtfully.

"I agree." Sirius stood up from the couch. "We have a lot to celebrate, and the longer we sit here the less time we have!" He marched towards the boy dormitories, and the rest of us scrambled to follow. It would be the first night I could finally rest my head on a pillow, and not have to worry about my death, or the death of my friends.


	69. Chapter 69

Nobody was more surprised than James when Lily agreed to a Hogsmead date. Sirius and I decided to take the opportunity to go on a date as well. Usually on a Hogsmead weekend we go as a large group, and we rarely have time to ourselves. We also agreed to find a seat in the Three Broomsticks so we could spy on James and Lily.

The date seemed to change Lily's perspective on the boy. We didn't sit close enough to hear what they talked about, so we don't know whether it was something James said to her, or if it was something he did. Either way a routine seemed to develop after their first date.

She would eat breakfast and lunch with her friends, but dinner was spent with us. She sat across from me, beside James; while I sat beside Sirius. Remus and Peter always alternated which side of the table they sat on. Another surprise came when Marlene and Remus fell into a quick friendship. Sirius and James happily teased the werewolf about having a crush

James and Lily went on another Hogsmead date. Then another, and another, until it was apparent to the entire school that Lily Evans and James Potter were in a very happy relationship.

Lily managed to have an entire change of opinion about the boys. She spoke with me about it one day, and confessed to me about how wrong she was about them. She always assumed they were arrogant toe-rags. Something I knew since it was a favorite insult of hers.

Now we both called them arrogant brats, but it was with an edge of fondness that allowed the boys to laugh it off.

The end of the year rapidly approached. Students either panicked about their finals or brushed them off. Lily was the type who panicked and read any book she could get her hands on. All of us laughed about it because she always roped James into studying with her. Sirius teased the stag animagus about how this was the most amount of studying he ever did since he started Hogwarts.

Sirius and I helped each other study. Sometimes I would study with Remus and Peter, or join James and Lily in the library. Sirius was more the type to just take the test and accept whatever grade he earned. He never worried about failing, and I envied him for it.

It was the night before finals, and I had left the library to go to the Ravenclaw common room. On my way out of the library I ran into none other than Severus inside the doorway. We stopped to stare at one another for a long moment. His dark eyes narrowed, and I cleared my throat. "Do you have a moment?"

He tilted his head then nodded slightly. We had to leave the library so we could talk somewhat privately. Now that I was known throughout the school as the Wizarding Worlds Savior it was difficult for me to get any privacy. After the last couple months of non-stop staring I no longer remembered what privacy felt like. More than one person asked for an autograph, but I declined every time. I had no doubt if I agreed to one it would be a wave after wave of people asking for autographs.

Severus and I ended up talking in the Kitchens. We took our seat at the bench where the Houselves reverently asked me if I needed anything. Once I managed to shoo them off I folded my hands and leaned forward on the table.

"Severus," I stared at him until he made eye contact with me, "we both know I only managed to kill Voldemort because I had a considerable amount of help. Everyone knows James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius were there the day Voldemort died. After graduation I plan on arranging an interview with the Daily Prophet to get out the true story."

"And what does any of this have to do with me," he drawled smoothly with a raised eyebrow.

"We both know you're a part of the true story, Severus. Without you I may have never gotten the diary horcrux from the Malfoy's, and Voldemort would still be at large."

"You plan on telling everyone Voldemort had horcruxes?" He asked curiously.

I sighed tiredly. "I think it would be better if I didn't mention them. For starters I would have to explain how I know about them, and it also might make other people want horcruxes of their own so they can be immortal."

He crossed his arms. "If you don't mention the horcruxes then there's no need to mention me."

"Severus, you deserve recognition," I pleaded. "Why don't you want it?"

"It isn't about want, Palmer. It's about protecting myself," Severus snapped at me. "If the other Death Eaters found out I had a part in our Lords demise they would hunt me down and slaughter me."

I leaned away from the table in shock. "What?"

"Are you so idiotic as to think my actions wouldn't be faced with consequences after the Dark Lord was gone?"

"Well, no, I just figured you wanted people to know you were a part of his downfall," I said defensively.

He sighed roughly through his nose. "The only thing that would do is bring about my own downfall. It would be better for both of us if we pretend I was never involved."

I sighed as well. "Then I suppose there's nothing more for me to say. But," I held up a finger as he stood up, making him pause, "if you ever need help with something feel free to send me a letter. Or if you're having trouble finding a job you can use me for a reference."

Severus looked amused. "I'm grateful. Your name will open many doors." His words were obviously teasing, because he knew how much all of the fame and attention irritated me.

I smiled sarcastically. "Anything for a friend." As he was walking out I stood up from the bench. "Severus?" He stopped right before opening the portrait to turn back to me. "Nobody will know about what you've done, but I'll know. And I'm more grateful than I think you realize."

The seventh year Slytherin nodded sagely before carefully slipping out of the Kitchens.

With our meeting over I could head up to my dorm room. When walking through the common room I made sure to keep my head down and draw as little attention as possible.

My dorm is where I kept all of my fan mail. Every morning since the week of Voldemort's death I received a pile of fan mail. The Marauder's got some as well, but I always managed to get the most. I enjoyed reading them, but after an incident involving a love potion I tried avoiding any letters that looked like it could be a love letter.

Thankfully the event happened while I was with the Marauder's. We always meet in their dorm in Gryffindor tower to open our mail together. James usually got a kick out of the love letters, so I would read them aloud to the group. Some of them were so ridiculous I couldn't help but laugh, while other letters were co calmly persuasive they made Sirius huffy.

Sirius was the main reason I rarely read any of them. He was my boyfriend and didn't deserve to hear how much strangers wanted to date me, and many times even marry me. It just figured that one of the letters would be laced with a love potion.

The boys immediately knew something was wrong with me. Once they figured out what happened they rushed me to the Hospital Wing, where Madam Pomfrey gave me the antidote. She had to test the letter before figuring out which antidote I needed. Then we had to send a letter to the DMLE because it was against the law to give people love potions.

Naturally the incident made its way into the Daily Prophet. Based off of the article it sounded like the entire magical community was in an uproar over it.

Dumbledore asked me if I wanted him to screen my mail. I politely declined, as the Marauder's and I would be prepared for any more letters. In truth we should've been testing them already, but we learned from our mistakes. Now all five of us try to ignore the love letters entirely.

During finals I finally found respite from all the scrutiny. Everybody was so focused on their tests that they barely looked at me.

Afterwards I waited by the tree next to the Black Lake so I could meet up with the others. Lily found me first, and when she sat down it was with an agitated sigh after dropping her head into her hands.

My eyebrows rose as I set aside the book I'd been reading. "You okay over there?"

"I failed," she moaned. "My potion wasn't the right color!"

"What color was it?"

"It was orange!" She looked at me as if the entire world was ending.

"Lily, the potion was supposed to be orange."

"Yes, yes, but it was a light orange!"

I laughed at her worry, and male laughter joined me. "You worry too much, Lils." James swooped down to give his girlfriend a peck on the cheek. Sirius did the same with me as he dropped onto the ground next to me.

"How did your finals go?" I asked the boys.

They grinned cockily and simultaneously said, "Aced it."

We smacked our respective boyfriends in the chest. They laughed at us, and Sirius caught my arms so he could pull me into his lap.

The four of us sat there in peaceful quiet. I allowed myself to breath freely, and compared the experience to the rimes I graduated high school. "We're graduating in a few days."

Lily nodded. "I know. It's surreal to think about."

"What are we going to do?" I asked all of them.

"Sleep in," Peter commented as he joined us. Shortly followed by Remus.

We all laughed at his answer while nodding in agreement. I ruined the moment by noting, "We all have to get jobs now."

James scoffed, "I don't. I'm going to live off my family fortune for the rest of my life."

Lily immediately glared at him. "James Fleamont Potter, if you think for one moment that I will let you sit around your house and waste away, I will flay you alive and feed you to trolls!"

Our group went silent after Lily's small rant, then Sirius snorted and broke the heavy atmosphere. "No worries, Evans. Prongs and I an on joining the Aurors."

Lily nodded, looking pleased. "I think I'll go for a mastery in charms, maybe potions; and after that I'll have to see. Teaching sounds like it would be nice."

I thought about my goal to become an unspeakable. It seemed impossible considering how unnoticeable they're supposed to be. "I think I'll do the same. Maybe get a masters in Defense or Transfiguration. I don't know how good I would be at teaching."

Sirius threaded our fingers together. "You could be an Auror with us," he suggested. "That would be pretty cool."

I hummed in disagreement. "I don't much fancy the idea of chasing down bad guys. Getting Voldemort was enough to last me a lifetime."

"You'll figure it out, Swift," Remus reassured me. "Peter and I don't know what we want to do either."

The six of us sat by that tree for the rest of the day. We made plans to stay together after leaving Hogwarts. Sirius decided he would stay at the Potter Mansion for one last week before moving in to Fox Manor with me. Our plan made James wiggle his eyebrows and tease us about our flourishing relationship. I just smirked and said, "At least he doesn't still live with his parents."

The teasing made him pout, and it grew deeper when he saw how hard his girlfriend was laughing at him.

May swiftly turned into June, and graduation was upon us. They called us up in alphabetical order to get our diplomas. Everyone wore black robes, with black hats, but the hems of our robes were colored by the main color of our House.

The cheer that went up when my name was called threatened to hurt my ears. After shaking Dumbledore's hand I turned to the student body and waved the diploma in the air while smiling. Whistling and hollers of my name joined the cacophonous noise. It lasted several minutes, even after I returned to my seat.

After the ceremony all of us used the Floo in Dumbledore's office to go to St. Mungos. James' mother apparently caught a case of Dragon Pox. The sickness was usually only seen in children, and it was dangerous for adults who never dealt with the illness as children.

We surrounded the woman's hospital bed; all of us still wearing our graduation robes. I had to keep my distance since I'd never had dragon pox either. I had chicken pox in my previous lives, but they were fairly different.

James' father showed up, and when he saw me we shook hands. As a retired Auror he had to deal with a few cases involving Voldemort. He expressed how grateful he was for defeating him, and then followed up with a scolding for putting myself in danger. A teenager against the most dangerous Dark Lord in history was a stupid thing to do.

After our visit to Lady Potter everybody went their separate ways. When I was in the privacy of my manor I allowed myself to jump for joy. I finally graduated from Hogwarts, and I didn't have to go back. Of course, I would miss the school terribly, but I also couldn't wait to enter the workforce.

The first week alone was spent relaxing with Tasha. The German Shepherd was always happy when I came back home. Her only company during these school mop this came from the elves. I contemplated getting another companion for her, but decided to wait and ask Sirius when moved in.

When Sirius finally came over, he apparated to the gates of the property. He couldn't get closer because the wards prevented it. That allowed me to watch him sprint across the lawn towards where I stood at the front doors.

I called for Mandy to collect his trunk, which helped him run even faster. He didn't slow down at all when he shot up the stairs and rammed into my body. We stumbled into the foyer, and my laughter got cut off when he smashed his lips against mine. He picked me up by the waist while I threaded my fingers through his pitch black hair.

We kissed for several long minutes. Neither of us had to run to class, or worry about grossing out our friends. It didn't lose any of its intensity until we had to part for breath. I sucked in lungfuls of air while Sirius buried his face against my neck.

Unwrapping my legs from around his waist, I couldn't remember when I put them there. "I missed you, too."

I felt his smile on my neck. He placed a quick kiss there before gently putting me down. Now free I could give him a small tour of the manor to remind him of where everything was. My bedroom was last on our stop, and I frowned when I didn't see his trunk.

"Mandy?"

My reliable elf popped into the room. "Yes, Mistress?"

"Where is Sirius' trunk?"

She tilted her head curiously. "Mandy be putting it in the guest bedroom."

"Please bring it in here. We'll be sharing this room." I looked at Sirius.

When she did as I told Sirius smirked roguishly. "Sharing, Ms. Palmer?"

"We are a couple, Mr. Black." I walked further into the room and sighed with fake melancholy. "Unless you'd like to sleep somewhere else?"

"I think not." His arms slipped around my waist from behind me. "In fact, I'd say we go to bed right now."

I yelped in surprise when he pulled us onto the bed. He crawled on top of me and began a slow exploration of my mouth. Carefully dragging our lips against each other's until he boldly nipped my bottom lip. I was more than ready to allow him access when Tasha suddenly jumped onto the bed.

She tackled Sirius' side with happy barks, trying to get him to give her attention. He cursed at the excitable dog and tried pushing her away, but it didn't work. I rolled away from them with a breathless laugh, and I laughed even harder when I heard Sirius call her a "cock blocker."

The dog eventually settled down, but she ended up laying right in between us. I scratched behind her ears while Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. "This reminds me: I wanted to ask you if you wanted to get a dog."

He looked up at me with raised eyebrows. "What? Why ask me?"

I shrugged. "Cause now you live here, too. I was thinking about getting Tasha a friend, since she'd been alone during our seventh year. I suppose now is too late, but we won't be home all the time, so she should have a playmate."

Sirius thoughtfully ran his fingers through Tasha's dark fur. "Yeah, all right. I think it sounds like a brilliant idea."

I smiled excitedly and leaned across my dog to give him a quick kiss. When I pulled away he stared at my lips with a forlorn expression. It made me smile. "Soon, darling. Once we get the kid out of here."

Once I said that Sirius practically kicked poor Tasha off of the bed. I shouted indignantly, upset that he might've hurt my dog, but she ran out of the room with nothing more than an angry bark. He closed the bedroom door, and I huffed at him, "You're a horrible step-dad."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I'll work on my parenting skills with the new dog." His clamber onto the bed had little-to-no grace.

When he tried to swoop down for a kiss I pressed my hand against his chest. His annoyed look went ignored. "Okay, but we aren't having kids for a while. Right?" I tilted my head. "Do you want kids?"

Sirius rose both of his eyebrows in surprise. "Little you's and me's running around here? Bloody hell, of course I do!"

The thought actually seemed to turn him in even further, and I narrowed my eyes. "I don't plan on having kids unless we're married, and we aren't getting married for a while."

He nodded. "Fair enough. Now can we _please_ –"

I happily interrupted whatever he wanted to say next by surging forwards and claiming his mouth with mine. Our conversation left me very happy with our stance on our relationship.

Of course, leave it to James to propose around a year and a half later. We all went to a nice restaurant on the anniversary of Voldemort's death. He stood up to make a toast to the table, and at the end he got down on one knee to propose to Lily. As we all suspected she said yes. They loved each other so much it would be baffling if she refused.

Whatever the lead Marauder does, the second-in-command is sure to follow. I'd seen the look on his face after the newly engaged couple retook their seats. The look of contemplation paired with determination. I pretended not to see it, but I knew I'd say yes no matter when or how he asked me.

Kids, on the other hand, were another matter. They were a responsibility I wanted to wait on.

When James and Lily had little Harry James Potter, Sirius looked ready to melt. One look into baby Harry's eyes, green like his mother's, and Sirius was wrapped around his little fingers. That's not to say none of us weren't wrapped around his finger. The baby was already being spoiled rotten no matter how much Lily and I argued with our husbands.

Three months after baby Harry's first birthday Lily happily announced her second pregnancy. This time all of us heard the news at the same time, and we all had the pleasure of seeing James fall into a dead faint.

Sirius got the familiar look of determination, and I knew he would bring up the subject of children within the following days. My physical age was only 21, and I didn't know if I felt ready to have kids.

Leave it to Sirius to sweet talk me into giving it a try, because two months after my twenty-second birthday I hired a private healer to check me over. Lo' and behold I was pregnant. I waited for Sirius to get home from his Auror job before telling him. As I knew he would be he was over the moon when he heard the news.

We immediately flooed to Potter Manor. James and Lily moved in after his parents passed away. We found James entertaining Harry with small magic tricks. The almost two-year-old, just reaching twenty three months, took his first steps not that long ago. Lily sat on an armchair with their two month old son cradled to her chest. The healthy baby boy was named Auberon Quincy Potter.

Lily knew I was pregnant before we even said anything. She beamed at me as soon as she saw our excited expressions, and offered her congratulations. James didn't know until we outright told him, and the young father immediately congratulated his friend. We let them go off to get Peter and Remus to go our for celebratory drinks.

As I sat there in Potter Manor, watching Lily interact with her two children, I couldn't help but think of how perfect everything turned out to be. My hand moved to my abdomen without me realizing, and it made me smile. I couldn't have asked for anything better.


End file.
